Was there a sense at that time that it was primarily affecting the gay population?
Oh absolutely.
It was called the gay cancer from the very beginning It was like the gay cancer and that's one of the reasons why it didn't get a lot of support Or funding or anything because it's sort of like who cares who cares if these people die When I moved to Dallas I joined a men's chorus that was pretty well known and every year they had a A auction to raise money for the general fund and I volunteered to be a waiter at the event and so I very distinctly remember I Saw my good friend John Thomas and he was standing next to a guy that I'd never seen before It was a blonde guy and I walked up to them They were talking and John gave me a hug and then he said I want you to meet Mike And so I said very nice to meet you and then I turned to him and I said,
What can I get you?
And he said you can get me a gin and tonic to start with and we'll talk about the rest later And so I turned around and walked around I was like,
Oh big flirt here big super flirt here and so the next day was a Monday and I happened to be scheduled to be working at a photo studio a large photo studio doing some art direction and I'll never forget this they had an intercom system that they would page people when a telephone call came in and for them and suddenly,
I hear my name paged and it says,
You know,
Eddie nuns line to Eddie nuns line to and Before I pick up the phone,
I'm like,
This is gonna be my crime and I picked up the phone.
It was my curve No one in our course close circle had ever been diagnosed with AIDS So it wasn't it was still sort of far off But I do remember this is kind of morbidly funny but we would get little bits of news out about it and and and one at one point they said Oh,
It was poppers.
It was amyl nitrate that was causing it or whatever And so everybody says oh you can't do poppers or then the word would come out Oh people who have AIDS have a coated tongue and I can remember driving to a corral event and We were caravanning and a friend of mine I can I can remember looking in the rearview mirror and I was like I can remember looking in the rearview mirror and seeing him sticking his tongue out in the mirror to check his tongue to see if he had a coated tongue I mean like people were just you know,
You just kind of like okay Well,
You know do I have it or you know what's going on?
So It was definitely something that was in the back of our mind,
But you didn't really live I mean,
You know,
You just kind of went on about your life.
Was there a sense at that time that it was primarily affecting The gay population Oh,
Absolutely.
It was called the gay cancer from the very beginning It was like the gay cancer and that's one of the reasons why it didn't get a lot of support Or funding or anything because it's sort of like who cares who cares if these people died And then in December I had a job that took me to Rio de Janeiro for a fashion shoot You know,
I said goodbye to him and got on the plane,
You know the next morning and flew off and started doing my job And once again,
This was before cell phone.
So You couldn't access people really well and I had to use the hotel phone to be able to call him I tried calling him a couple of times and couldn't get in I kept calling him calling him calling him and he finally answered the phone and I said what's wrong and he sounded really bad And something inside of me just sort of said this is more serious than a cult This is more serious than a cult.
I told before that I told him I said i'm going to call John Thomas Because I knew John Thomas had a key to his apartment John called one of our other mutual good friends and the two of them went over to his apartment Let them in let himself let themselves in and he was blue from lack of oxygen.
And so they called an ambulance They rushed him off to the hospital.
He actually had the pneumocystis which is the pneumonia that People with aids get anyway,
I didn't know any of this.
They checked him into the hospital I guess it was maybe a day or so later.
John calls me and he says You're going to need to start figuring out how to get home.
This is serious.
Mike is not in good shape.
I flew home and John and William picked me up at the airport I got into the car I was sitting in the back seat with John and I just said what is it?
And he said it's aids and I remember Sort of laying down in John's lap and just kind of weeping And I remember the night that he died he died early in the morning But I was sleeping on the floor in the waiting room and somebody came in and said he's he's gone um,
And they said do you want to go in and And seeing one last time and I said no,
I don't I don't want to see him dead,
You know,
I'd rather Remember him being alive and so then the service Services were being planned and my mother and father flew up and my brother was there and um,
We went to the service and the family made sure that I was at least 10 rows away from them and Um,
It was a really painful thing because I had never I had not lost anyone close to me My grandparents were still alive.
I mean,
I'd never lost anyone So this was my first significant death to deal with and I can remember being at the graveside and Once again,
I was kind of pushed to the back And my dad had his arm around me and he said come on.
I'm going to take you up front where you belong And I said no dad.
I'm I'm good where I am with you and mom and randy and I don't need To prove to anybody what my relationship was with mike.
I don't need to be up there up front That's not what this is about.
And then I remember a really incredibly painful moment where They finally closed the coffin up and they were going to lower it into the ground and I went over And put my hand on it and I was just like I could not let go It was just like it's time for me to walk away and get into the car into the limo and drive off And I was just like it was so hard to like walk away So I was in this really Unbelievable state of peace.
I don't know I would get up in the mornings and I would go walk take my walks like I did at at 6 am but shortly after he was buried Um,
I you know,
This is once again,
This was 19.
Well,
It was 1986 because he died in january And this was before cell phones or voicemail you had voice recorders that were hooked up to you with your phone for those of you who Haven't experienced that you know You would hear your phone ring and then you would hear your recorder switch on and you would run and you would listen to see If it was somebody that you actually wanted to take a call from and if so,
You would pick up the phone anyway,
I don't know if it was the day after or two days after or when it was but um I was in a deep sleep and it was between it was around three to three fifteen in the morning And I suddenly hear the recorder on the phone click on But the phone never rang It was just the recorder And I sat up and I was like looking at it and I was and then I would turn the volume up I would listen really carefully to see if there was some message coming through and the first time it happened I didn't really think too much about it.
But then it started happening every night between three and four in the morning,
I would get woken up hearing this recording and I just said this is mike and he's trying to communicate with me.
I mean the time between three and four is considered the time in the morning when you were can best connect to The other side the other world Anyway,
It was a very comforting experience for me.
It was nothing that I It was nothing that I was scared of or afraid or thought.
Oh,
This is spooky or anything like that.
It was Just something that was very comforting and when I would wake up i'm like,
Oh,
There's mike I'm trying to communicate also during this time I Kept having visions of him which were pretty disturbing for me.
I would be Like in a grocery store and i'd be walking down the main aisle and I would Just happen to glance down one of the other aisles and I would see him walking with his back turned to me You know and I would like stop and I my heart would beat out of my chest and I would run down the aisle and I would look for him and I couldn't find him or I would be driving in my car um close to his house and um,
I would see him walking his dog and I would like slam on the brake and turn around and you know Go drive around the corner and look for him and I couldn't find him and I just kept having these visions Then I do remember a very significant dream with him where?
I literally felt like I had spent two or three hours with him and uh,
It was a very loving dream He was I mean like we were holding each other and I was saying,
You know I really miss you and he said I miss you too,
But you need to know i'm okay And you need to go on about your life.
And I remember waking up the next morning and feeling Really melancholy and it was like it was beautiful because I felt like I had been with him again But it was sad because the reality was I knew he wasn't physically here I think it was the first time in my life that I finally sort of had to accept That there is very little distance between Us and the three-dimensional world And what we call the other side for lack of better terms I think it was those things that finally I had to accept the fact that we as humans living on this planet we are not alone and that we have a host of Angels our spirits that surround us and are looking after us which is a very comforting thought to have This has been episode 12 of Bite-Sized Blessings The podcast all about the magic and spirit that surrounds us if only we open our eyes to it And whether you choose to listen to our Bite-Sized offerings for that five minutes of freedom in your day or the longer interviews We're grateful you're here I'd like to thank Eddie Nuns for sharing his story today as well as the creators of the music used Lilo Sound Kevin McLeod music l files and Sasha End For complete attribution,
Please see the Bite-Sized Blessings website at bite-sizedblessings.
Com And remember That's bite spelled b-y-t-e On the website,
You'll find links to other episodes as well as to books music and change makers I think will lift and inspire you Thank you for listening.
And here's my one request be like Eddie and never give up on love So So So So So
