Hi,
Everyone,
And welcome back to the podcast.
This episode,
I'm introducing you to Hakeem Bourne McFarlane,
Who tells a powerful story about growing up in a house full of addiction and silence.
And while Hakeem was an exceptional athlete,
He struggled with his childhood and those experiences.
But it was when he was in prison the second time that the miracle occurred,
And everything changed in his life.
It was the first time my little brother visited me after he passed,
And it was after he was in jail.
I think it was about two months after that fourth day,
Had to be about six to eight weeks.
And I was in jail,
But I was sleeping,
And I was holding him,
And he was healthy.
He was like two years old,
One and a half.
I was holding him,
But I could hear his voice,
And it was saying,
Hakeem is going to be okay.
Well,
I'm big,
You don't call me big dream,
Hakeem,
But nothing.
But I'm big on my dreams.
And there was a dream I had that was about,
It was the first time my little brother visited me after he passed.
And it was after he was in jail,
I think it was about two months after that fourth day,
Had to be about six to eight weeks.
And I was in jail,
But I was sleeping,
And I was holding him,
And he was healthy.
He was like two years old,
One and a half.
I was holding him,
But I could hear his voice,
And it was saying,
Hakeem is going to be okay.
Now,
Through research,
Right,
That is me holding myself.
Matthew was a resemblance of my inner child,
Which is now what I realize why he was here.
Because he was to show me how to love the little child that I never even knew when I was younger.
And me seeing that in him,
Then gave me the ability to be accountable on day four.
Because I finally started to choose myself,
Because I saw that it was possible when he was born.
And I felt the pain when he was gone.
And I knew the consequences of not choosing myself.
Because if I didn't choose him,
If I didn't love him,
And I do that to me,
It's going to result in the same thing,
I'm going to stay in here forever.
So,
That dream was the first time I saw him.
And I feel like a whole burden,
A whole building,
A whole world lifted off of me.
And that was when my faith changed.
That's when I started believing in God.
That moment,
I said,
Oh,
Who sent him?
How did,
Did my mind,
How did,
Who did,
That was real.
I was holding him.
He had hair,
Didn't usually have hair.
He was talking.
He was young,
And he was talking.
I'm like,
What was that?
But I was so high for so many years,
I was passed out.
I wasn't getting REM sleep.
I was on the verge of death.
So,
This is my first time two months after being sober,
For the first time since probably,
You know,
10 years,
Eight years,
You know,
Even in college.
If it wasn't during the season,
I was out almost every night.
So,
That experience,
Man,
Y'all pay attention to your dreams.
And if you don't know what they mean,
Look them up.
They got dream logs online.
They got AI.
They have Google.
They got chat forums.
It means a lot.
And it doesn't mean what you think it means when you're in a dream.
Like,
That was weird.
The floor was unstable,
And a dog jumped off the roof,
And then a plane crashed.
I'm like,
Look that up.
You better look that up,
Because that's your subconscious talking to you.
Yeah.
I mean,
And also,
Honestly,
What's really powerful about this story that you're sharing is that,
I mean,
I don't know.
For me,
I would have gotten up and been like,
Oh my gosh,
I think that,
You know,
Other worlds are real,
Or that heaven is real,
Or that,
You know,
I might see my brother again.
You know,
He can come back to me in the future.
Did any of that cross your mind?
Well,
I knew I would see him after this life,
After that.
And that belief that there was an afterlife then generated a belief that there was something bigger,
Something greater than what was going on in my head in that cell in that dang jailhouse.
It was like,
It's not about football.
It's not about money.
It's not about relationships.
It's not about what you can do and how much you can try to show that you're OK.
It's about you being OK with not being OK.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
You've just kind of blown my mind a little bit.
I just feel like a little off kilter.
What is also singular about this experience for me is that you have this dream,
But then you also have the,
I don't know.
I think bravery is one component.
Intelligence,
You know,
Thoughtfulness later.
I know it didn't happen right away,
But to consider everything that it meant and to revisit it and then not only that,
Integrate it,
Which is like no small feat.
And that kind of opens your heart wide open.
And opening your heart like that can be really scary and exhausting and because you don't know quite what's going to happen.
So you have to have a lot of faith in the universe,
In God,
In yourself to do that kind of work,
Which it seems like you have that in spades.
Would you agree?
Yeah,
I think,
I think now keeping,
You know,
Keeping your heart open.
It is actually a physical thing,
But it's energetic.
It's energetic.
You know,
It's a frequency heart space.
And I've worked with heart coherence,
Especially heart coherence healers.
Also,
I'm hosting a retreat with a horse whisperer who also heals in the heart space.
So that'll be fun.
October 1st in Sedona.
But the heart space is made for our spirit,
Right?
It's made for our spirituality.
The mind is created by the experience.
Now,
There's a lot of people who are able to use the mind to tap into the heart.
I mean,
Not a lot compared to how many people are on the planet,
But there's,
I would say,
Thousands of healers,
Holistic healers,
Spiritual people who understand that relationship.
And to open your heart,
You have to show love to yourself.
That's the only way.
The purest form of love comes from the inside to the inside because ain't nobody messing with it on the way to your heart.
Once you start giving it out and want it to other people,
Now you're waiting for other people to love you.
Now your heart closes down because you've been disappointed or somebody cheated or somebody stole from you,
Manipulated,
Lied,
All these things.
Now you're like,
I don't want,
Now my mind is like,
Don't do this.
Don't go over here.
Don't go to this.
Now,
To be able to decipher between staying open and having boundaries.
Boundaries are also staying open.
Because if you don't have boundaries,
Your environment can force you to close.
That's discernment.
The more open you stay with your heart,
The stronger boundaries you have,
The more resilience you have.
And it's not about,
Oh,
This person let me down.
Let me go open my heart to the next.
You become more specific about where you go in life.
You only go where you can have an open heart.
You don't keep going back to those environments.
If you do,
You ain't never going to be able to open your heart.
And that's it.
That's a wrap on my incredibly powerful conversation with Hakeem.
I'm so grateful that he decided to come onto the podcast and share about his life,
But also the life of his precious baby brother.
And frankly,
I am just kind of still gobsmacked by his mother,
Who appears to be an unstoppable force of nature.
I'm really glad that he talked about her as well,
Because honestly,
It makes me so happy knowing that she's in the world.
Thank you for listening.
And here's my one request.
Be like Hakeem.
I mean,
He never gave up.
And I said before that his mom is kind of unstoppable,
But Hakeem,
In the middle of his life,
In the middle of the darkest part of his life,
When he was in prison,
He received a miracle.
He understood that he was going to be okay.
He understood that he could create magic in his own life.
And then he's created more magic for everyone else.
So be like Hakeem and never lose faith that you can do good in the world,
That you can show up for others,
And that you,
Too,
Can create beauty and hope and joy for every single person out there.