Kindness to self,
A reflective practice.
I'm going to say a few words about kindness before I guide us into reflective practice followed by kindness to self meditation practice.
Being kind to ourselves is easier said than done.
When I work with clients I would often say,
I understand that being kind to myself versus self critical is the way to go,
But how do I actually do it,
Being kind to myself?
It's a crucial question.
For many of us it's so much easier to be kind to others than to ourselves.
We often judge ourselves in a way we would not dare to judge others.
This often comes from unhelpful and harsh self views that we have picked up at a young age and that we have carried through and embedded.
These self views in later life shape our experience.
The good news is we can change these self views.
They are habits of the mind.
They don't have to define us.
The other good news is that kindness is an intrinsic human quality and capacity that we all already have.
Let's do a reflective practice.
To start with finding a comfortable posture that works for you,
Connecting to the body in whatever way feels right.
Focusing sensations in the feet or hands or sitting bones.
Taking three deep breaths,
Settling in and settling down.
Breathing a little more here in the body on the out breath.
And now I'm inviting us to recall a moment when someone was kind to you.
Perhaps helped you with something or really listened to what you had to say.
What did it feel like?
Taking a moment to really feel into the moment of someone being kind to you.
Perhaps it felt warm,
Connecting.
Perhaps it made you happy,
Opened your heart.
What did you notice?
Whatever the quality of this kindness is for you,
It's the very quality we are looking for when we begin to practice kindness to self,
Kindness towards ourselves.
It's an open,
Warm,
Loving,
Caring attitude.
And now let's take another moment,
Bringing to mind a situation when we were kind to someone.
Maybe we offered to do the shopping for someone or maybe we decided to give some time to a colleague even though we felt we didn't really have it.
This may feel a little more difficult to do because we hold a harsh self-view that we are not a kind person.
If that's what's going on right now,
We can notice it with curiosity and let it go.
Kindness is already here in us.
It's woven into the fabric of our being human.
What do you notice?
What was it like to be kind to someone?
Noticing the feeling of this kindness in the body.
Is it soft,
Warm,
Connecting,
Open?
Whatever you are aware of,
That's kindness.
The very attitude we can also bring to ourselves,
Open,
Sensitive,
Responsive,
Caring.
And you may not feel the quality of kindness in you right now.
That's fine.
It's not a problem.
It's the intention to connect with that kindness,
To feel our way into it that counts.
Sometimes it takes time to reconnect to the quality of kindness,
Warmth,
Loveliness.
But it's already here,
Even if you can't feel it yet.
Spending a moment now to feel kindness,
Love,
Warmth in the heart,
In the body,
Even if only slightly,
Before bringing closure to this reflection.
