I want to talk about something today that might be a little controversial.
In the healing and self-development space.
And I say this as someone who is obviously deeply deeply in this work and who believes in nervous system healing,
The importance of nervous system healing.
And who also believes in the importance of trauma release.
But I think there's a piece we don't really talk about enough,
And it's this.
At some point.
.
.
Healing.
Stops being about doing more inner work.
And I think it starts being a bad thing.
Making a decision.
A decision that A decision you make even when you don't feel like it.
Even when there's zero motivation.
To do that particular thing,
Especially then.
So let me tell you about my own experience with this because probably it's the clearest example I have.
So.
At the beginning of this year,
I started CrossFit.
And I want to be honest with you because,
I mean,
You need to know the background story.
I always hated every form of exercise my whole life.
I never wanted to go to a gym either.
And on top of that.
I really didn't want to spend that kind of money on a CrossFit gym membership.
You know,
Especially because it costs so much.
Several times more than a regular gym membership.
And I just thought it felt excessive.
For something that I was pretty sure I'd hate.
But I had this quiet realization.
It wasn't fear and it wasn't urgency,
It was just.
.
.
Just awareness like that at some point this has to happen because I'm in my 40s and my body isn't going to stay the same or look better.
In fact,
It's only going to get worse.
And I know,
I'm aware that I will be losing.
Muscle mass and bone density.
So I might as well start now.
It's our wind.
And I hated it.
And I hated it for about two,
Three weeks.
But there was something about it that kept me going back.
The community.
And then somewhere in around that third week,
Something shifted.
I started liking it.
And now,
If I don't go at least three times a week,
Something feels off.
And I also remember back in the day when my trainer,
The gym owner,
If he asked me how was it,
I said,
I hated it.
It was really difficult.
I hated every moment of it.
I don't even know why I keep coming back and I'm paying you this amount of money.
But every time he asks me now after a session,
I say,
It was great.
I loved it.
And here's the part I really want you to sit with.
During these past few months,
There have been real moments in my life.
Where Honestly,
The only thing I had energy for was to just curl up in a fetal position on my couch and not do anything.
I was going through something really hard and I still made myself go to the CrossFit session in the evening and I came home feeling amazing.
And I didn't go because I had motivation.
I went because I knew the alternative.
I already knew what depression or whatever I was going through felt like for me.
You know,
That powerless,
Zero energy,
I just want to sleep state.
And I realized that I already know where that path leads.
That's familiar.
I've been there.
So I might as well do the opposite of what my body was telling me to do in that moment.
So clearly that wasn't motivation.
It was a decision to just interrupt the pattern that I already knew too well.
And why this matters beyond the gym.
Well I'm not telling you this because this is a fitness channel obviously I'm telling you this because I see the same pattern in people.
Who come to me for healing work.
I actually recently held space for someone who spent years and a lot of money on different therapies and modalities and trauma release techniques.
And he told me that he's.
.
.
Yeah,
He's noticed the shift.
But he also noticed that there's a lot of new stuff coming up and he called it worsening.
And I don't actually think it's worsening.
I think that's just.
.
.
A lot of the time,
That's what release looks like on the way out,
On the way through.
But what stuck me more was how stuck he felt like and he sounded in his actual life like no relationship,
No job,
No sense of purpose.
And when I asked about it,
It kept coming back to the same thing.
I don't have the motivation to do it.
And here's what I want to gently challenge.
What if the motivation was never going to arrive?
What if it's not about waiting for the feeling of,
Yeah,
I want to do this now.
I'm finally ready.
And it's actually about deciding to do it anyway.
The same way I decided to go to that CrossFit even when every part of me wanted to just stay on the couch.
And there's a second piece or a second part I want to add to this because I think it matters just as much.
I think a lot of us,
Myself included at times,
Spend so much time and energy trying to heal ourselves.
Working through childhood wounds and releasing trauma from the body and just doing the deep self-aware work.
And that work matters.
I'm here for it.
I'm not dismissing it.
But at some point.
I think we have to ask.
Are we waiting for our lives to change to get better because we are healing enough first.
Because if so,
We might be stuck in a loop,
Like my pain,
My trauma,
My healing,
My process.
It just becomes so centered on the self that it quietly turns into its own kind of stuckness.
And I think the way out of that isn't more healing.
It's finding something bigger than yourself to focus on.
Something outside the loop of self-analysis.
That's often what actually breaks the rumination.
Brings back a sense of joy and purpose that all the inner work alone couldn't reach.
And it doesn't have to be big.
I don't know,
It could be handing out food to the homeless or adopting a cat or a dog nobody else wanted or just checking on the elderly neighbor down the hall.
Anything where you become useful to a life that isn't yours.
Anything that makes someone else's day a little easier,
Happier.
And when you see that,
It just shifts your focus,
Even just for a few seconds or a few hours or for a day.
Because I think self-healing was never meant to be the whole project or our purpose of being here.
At some point,
Our healing should contribute to the world around us.
It should be.
It should be a contribution to the healing of others as well.
So if you're waiting for motivation to show up before you make the change.
I want to offer you a different question.
Not do I feel ready,
Am I in the mood or am I motivated enough,
But is what I'm doing instead.
Actually taking me anywhere.
Because most of the time,
The alternative that you keep choosing is just familiar.
That's the whole reason that you keep choosing it.
And familiar was never the same thing as good for you.
I believe that at some point you actually have to be willing to do the opposite of what your body is telling you to do in that moment.
And I'm not telling you to do this by forcing it,
But.
.
.
Because some part of you already knows exactly where the familiar path leads.
So here's what I leave you with.
Today.
Just stop waiting to feel ready.
Stop waiting for the motivation to arrive,
The sign,
The perfect moment that was never actually coming.
Just pick the one thing you've been putting off,
You know,
The thing that you already know would probably move your life forward.
And just do it today.
Just do it anyway,
Not because you feel like it,
But because you already know.
Where the alternative leads.
See you in the next video.
