Drinking In Infinity: Radiance Sutras Verse 4

During this session, we discuss Verse 4 of the Yukti Verses from the 'Radiance Sutras, a translation of the Vijanana Bhairava Tantra by Lorin Loche. A meditation follows our discussion. These sessions are recorded on a weekly basis and all are welcome.

Transcript

So today we're reading out of the Radiant Sutras,

Lauren Roche,

The beautiful translation of the Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra,

Beautiful ancient tantric text.

And today we're reading,

If you have the book,

We're reading on page 39,

But you don't have to have the book at all.

The verse four verses are all about the breath.

And it's not just the breath,

It's imagining life.

That as we go through life,

You know,

As imagine with every step,

Life is happening.

With every step,

Life is happening.

It's the same thing with every breath that we're taking right now,

Life is happening.

We have this idea that life is somehow out there.

It's all the things we're accomplishing.

It's all the things we hope for.

It's all the things we're afraid of in the past,

Right?

It's all these things out there.

But it's not.

Like life is happening right here inside of us right now.

All the thoughts of the past are not life.

All the thoughts of the future are not life.

All of life happens right here.

And we can feel it if we're careful,

We can feel it in our breath.

It's like the subtlety of our breath right now,

As we're listening,

As we're sitting here,

Just being aware of our own breath.

What happened during this breath?

What happened during this breath?

It's only right now.

And this is a huge part of being tantric,

Is just being here.

It's just being present for opening to the divine mystery within.

So it's a very interesting thing.

You know,

On the weekend,

We were talking about what it is to be tantric.

William and I are actually talking about it.

He said,

You know,

Because we've been together now for nine months,

And it's just blossomed into this most incredible relationship.

And,

And he said,

You know,

If someone had asked me nine months ago,

What it meant to have a tantric relationship or make a tantric intimacy or all that,

He says,

I never would have understood it.

And he said,

It's so much just about being present.

If every one of us right now simply lived 100% in the moment we're in right now,

Thinking of nothing else,

Our life would just expand.

It's one of the great disadvantages of even things like social media,

Because it's not even happening to us.

It's other people's stories.

But it's so true that we keep looking for these special tricks or these special techniques or these special realizations that will make us expand as spiritual and tantric and,

You know,

Make life sparkly and all that kind of thing,

Right.

So that's what today's sutra is the fourth of four focuses on the breath.

So just if you're new to the radiant sutras,

I just want to kind of bring you in to where we are.

And what I'd like to do today is I want to talk about this fourth sutra.

And then I'd also like to lead you in a meditation that these four sutras are describing.

It's actually the first meditation on my profile here on Insight Timer.

It's called a tantric meditation to experience oneness.

It's the very first track I ever uploaded to Insight Timer like four years ago or something.

But I'd like to do that at the end of our talk today.

So it's on page 39.

Let's all just close our eyes for a moment.

Let's just breathe.

And I want us to be aware of our quiet center.

Maybe you feel it within your heart center.

You feel this eternal self,

This part of you that never changes,

That was exactly the same when you were six months old as it is now.

It will be when you're 90.

Even though the body changes and our circumstances change,

There's this part of you that never changes.

And let's focus there and let that part of us listen to this sutra.

At the end of the exhale,

Breath surrenders to quietude.

For a moment,

You hang in the balance,

Suspended in the fertile spaciousness that is the source of breath.

At the end of the inhale,

Filled with the song of the breath,

There is a moment when you are simply holding the tender mystery.

In these interludes,

Experience opens into exquisite vastness with no beginning and no end.

Embrace this infinity without reservation.

You are its vessel.

You are its vessel.

At the end of the exhale,

Breath surrenders to quietude.

For a moment,

You hang in the balance,

Suspended in the fertile spaciousness that is the source of breath.

At the end of the inhale,

Filled with the song of the breath,

There is a moment when you are simply holding the tender mystery.

In these interludes,

Experience opens into exquisite vastness with no beginning and no end.

Embrace this infinity without reservation.

You are its vessel.

I'd love to know what that means for you,

Or what feelings it brings up.

Or what phrases ring through your mind.

The vessel for the infinite.

Embrace this infinity.

You are its vessel.

Embrace this infinity.

You are its vessel.

Expansive and focused.

Being a vessel of infinity feels a little scary and overwhelming.

That's a really good thing to know.

Exquisite fastness.

Exquisite fastness I experience in nature,

But can't experience when we close our eyes after the exhale.

At the end of the exhale and before the inhale,

You have an opportunity to start your life anew.

And this happens with every breath.

Nature,

The great teacher of love,

And everything.

So it's an interesting thing to imagine your breath.

If you imagine that you have this inhale and the exhale,

That's what we normally think about,

Right?

We think about the inhale,

And the exhale.

So even as we're just here together,

To just focus inside on your own breath.

You know,

Focus on that inhale,

Focus on the exhale.

And then we notice that there are,

They call it the gap between the inhale and the exhale,

Or between the exhale and the inhale.

It's like a place where the body goes into neutral.

You know,

It's going forward,

Goes into neutral,

And then reverses.

Goes into neutral,

Goes forward.

They also call it Shunya,

Or zero point.

And it's kind of a magical place.

It's like,

When we inhale,

We're fully in the body.

And when we're in Shunya,

We're in divine space.

Then we exhale in the body,

And then we're in Shunya,

In divine space.

So with every breath,

We are mixing our infinite self and our finite self.

And we're mixing our infinite self and our finite self.

We're mixing our divine self and our physical self with every breath.

A place where you lose yourself for a split second.

The other interesting thing that this Sutra is about,

It's about the experience of tranquility.

She's one of my favorite words to say,

Tranquility.

Tranquility isn't just a peaceful state.

It's not just,

Oh,

It's,

I feel such tranquility.

Imagine tranquility is something that's alive.

We feel tranquility when life either slows down or is still.

It's like,

You know,

You're on vacation and you're rushing and rushing and rushing.

And let's say you get to the beach or you get to the campsite and you get all set up,

And then you get all set up and then you sit down and you go into stillness and you take a deep breath and you feel total tranquility.

And then maybe you move slowly.

From then on,

You just move slowly and you have this tranquil experience.

Or maybe you're sitting and you're watching a calm lake and there's someone in a canoe who's just very slowly drifting across the lake.

Tranquility.

So there's something about the stopping and the slowness that allows us to experience tranquility.

But imagine that it's a real thing,

Like you can drink in tranquility.

Imagine you're sitting at a campsite or you're sitting somewhere peaceful,

And you're not just tranquil,

You're actually breathing tranquility into your body.

Like it's nourishing you,

It's flowing through your body,

It's just warming everything within you.

That tranquility is a real thing.

At the end of the exhale,

Breath surrenders to quietude.

For a moment,

You hang in the balance,

Suspended in the fertile spaciousness that is the source of breath.

So at the end of the exhale,

You suspend.

And in this divine space,

In this Shunya,

This is where our in-breath comes from.

Every time we inhale,

It's like our first breath,

Our first inhale.

So even right now as you're breathing,

Imagine this inhale,

And then we exhale,

And we suspend,

And we mix with the source of our life force.

And inhale.

Each verse of the Radiance just makes me want to slow down my breathing,

Be in that divine space a little longer.

Exactly.

Like our first breath.

And then at the end of the inhale,

Filled with the song of the breath.

So imagine you take a deep breath in,

And you are filled with the vibration of the breath.

You're filled with the vibration of life.

There is a moment when you are simply holding the tender mystery.

Holding the tender mystery.

Imagine,

So when we talk about in yoga,

There's something called Kumbhaka.

And Kumbhaka,

They would say,

Is the retention of the breath,

Or the holding of the breath.

But imagine it's not holding like I'm holding it and I'm gripping it to stop it.

Imagine you're holding the breath like you would hold a lover,

Or that you're holding a child,

Or that you would hold a baby bird that landed on your hands.

We're holding something precious.

So then all of a sudden,

As we inhale and we fill ourselves full of this beautiful life force,

The song of the breath,

And then we hold it like a tender mystery.

And then we release it and we allow the cycle to continue.

Can you imagine like living?

Every time we're still,

Imagine every time we're still,

We hold that stillness.

We drink in the stillness.

And it's a very interesting thing.

Like I find myself that I have been trained that whenever there's a spare moment,

This is a great time,

Check Facebook.

But what if every time there was a spare moment,

We just stopped and we breathed it in.

We breathed in the stillness.

It's not nothingness.

We breathed in the tranquility of the quiet.

We owe thanks to the ocean,

The trees for every breath we take.

Holy.

In these interludes,

So these interludes,

These beautiful gap moments between the breath,

Experience opens into exquisite vastness with no beginning and no end.

Embrace this infinity without reservation.

You are its vessel.

And it's a beautiful thing to be able to experience this.

And it's an interesting thing.

Earlier,

Someone commented that it feels very overwhelming to hold infinity or to allow infinity to flow through us.

But I believe it's because we are taught to feel a little dead inside.

We're taught that it's normal to feel nothing inside.

So if you imagine sitting right now,

Closing your eyes and just breathing,

And imagine your whole body like a sponge,

And imagine the sponge effortlessly expanding and contracting with the breath,

And imagine there's no limit to the breath.

There's a bit of anxiety that rises.

I think it's very,

Very common.

I can feel it in my own self that as I inhale,

It's like,

Oh,

It feels like too much.

And if I exhale all the way out,

That feels like too much.

And I feel this like quiver inside of me.

Like there's like a quiver inside that says,

I don't know if I can take anymore.

I don't know if I can take anymore.

But what if we're made for it?

What if we're made to actually have infinity coursing through our bodies?

I teach kundalini yoga,

That there's this energy source in the body that lays dormant,

Not because there's something wrong with us,

Well,

But because we intentionally block it.

Whether it's because of life experience that has scared us,

And so instead we choose to stay very small.

Maybe we have life experience in this or whatever lifetime that said,

If you expand too big,

You'll be kicked out of the tribe.

No one will understand you.

You'll be crucified.

You will be looked at funny.

You'll stand out from the crowd or whatever.

But for whatever reason,

We've chosen to stay small instead.

We've also been taught to not tell the truth.

So we have to lie all the time,

Pretend that we want to do something when we don't,

And pretend we're happy when we're not,

And not say the things we mean and all that kind of thing.

All that kind of thing.

Well,

How can we possibly allow infinity to flow through us if we can't even tell the truth?

Like for some reason,

We're not allowed to tell the truth.

You can feel it inside of you.

If you feel the difference between telling the truth and telling a white lie,

You can feel the energetic contraction inside of you.

Well,

I have to say this,

Like you can almost feel the nervous system in your back kind of shut down a little.

Maybe we're living mostly in the past for good or for bad.

Maybe we have really great memories in the past and our current life isn't that exciting.

So we just live in our memories.

But we're not here.

We're not even in this breath now.

This moment doesn't matter.

This moment doesn't matter.

So I can't have infinity running through me now.

Maybe I'm stressed out because at some point in the future,

I'm finally going to have enough money or I'm finally going to have that relationship or I'm finally going to,

I don't know,

Publish that book or whatever.

And then I'll feel good about myself.

And then I'll be able to be happy.

So we have all these curiosities in our lives that actually are just like these little clamps that hold us tight.

It's such a journey of slowly unpacking those things,

Slowly letting them go.

Again,

This is why I teach Kundalini Yoga because it's so brilliant at releasing very gently,

Bit by bit,

So that we can actually start to experience this infinite flow inside of us.

It's always a danger like when people say,

Yeah,

But if you do Kundalini Yoga,

You're going to have this explosive,

Crazy experience and you're going to have a mental break or something.

That like literally was what was on Wikipedia for years when I first started teaching.

But the number one thing is you don't want to go away and do something to have a Kundalini awakening.

That's like suddenly saying,

Okay,

Right now,

Infinity is going to flow through your system.

Go.

Well,

I can't.

I have all these blocks.

And I don't mean,

I mean,

I have adaptations to the life I'm living right now.

The walls of my river can't handle it.

I'll just break down.

So it's really important to be very gentle on that journey of expansion so that we can easily feel infinity because we're made for it.

That's why I say it's a really valid realization that,

Wow,

Feeling infinity feels very,

What did you say,

Chaotic and overwhelming.

That's a good realization we have that,

Wow,

That,

Wow,

That,

That feels like too much.

So then we go,

Wow,

Okay,

Where is the infinity inside of me now?

Where do I feel it now?

Where do I feel safe to flow completely?

And then we just go from there.

Like we just go with our strengths.

Maybe you love being around animals.

Maybe you're on animals.

You're,

You feel free to just flow.

So spend time with animals and keep practicing.

Maybe you love hanging out with children.

That's awesome.

Maybe you love serving people in a restaurant or you love serving lattes and there's something joyful about giving people a great cup of coffee that just fills your heart with joy and you feel this infinite bliss.

Maybe it's painting.

Maybe every time you pick up a paintbrush you're just like,

Oh,

Now I'm home and all the contractions disappear.

It's like Abraham Hicks,

If you've never listened to them,

They always talk about how it's a channel,

Right?

They channel Abraham,

This collection of spirits and they always talk about if you want to really live or you really want to know where the solutions lie,

They lie in the vortex and the vortex is this bliss place.

But the only way to get into the vortex is to do things you love.

So she was talking one day about how this woman was really,

Really upset about what she should do with her son.

You know,

My son's really going through a hard time and I really want to help him and she's over here chewing.

Well,

Of course,

And in this mindset she's never going to find the solution because she's chewing and chewing and chewing.

But over here is the vortex and in the vortex she has full access to infinite wisdom,

Ease,

Effortlessness,

But she has to get into the vortex from the crazy spinning place and the only way to do that is to do something you love to do.

Like just what is it?

What do you love to do?

What puts you in the vortex?

What brings you to that place of ease and quiet?

And it could be painting,

It could be playing an instrument,

It could be ecstatic dance,

It could be sitting with a cup of tea in a book,

It could be walking by the ocean,

It could be planting a garden,

It could be anything.

And as soon as we're in that vortex wisdom comes.

You know,

And this is where it's not about the gurus,

Right?

It's about us.

Like every single one of us can get into the vortex.

The big problem is we don't know what makes us happy.

I remember when I was sick and I wrote when I,

In 1999,

I had breast lumps and that was a huge massive crisis and turning point in my life.

My teacher Jim who appeared at the time magically and serendipitously and he says,

Like,

Shrina what do you love doing?

And at this point I was 29.

I'd been married for six years.

I had a two-year-old and a four-year-old.

I had married a farmer so I was now a farm wife.

And I couldn't tell you one thing that I love to do.

I could tell you everything my kids love to do.

I could tell you what my husband loved to do.

But I had no idea what I love to do and I definitely had no idea what could bring me into a bliss state.

Like,

There's not a chance that I know what that was.

So it's a real thing that for some reason as humans we were trained how to enjoy things we don't enjoy,

How to enjoy what other people love,

But oftentimes we have no idea what we love.

I would love,

Alexa playing an instrument is like that.

Lady,

I bliss out watching animals.

I would love to hear what you guys,

What blisses you out.

What do you do that takes you to that happy place?

What do you do where you feel tranquility?

Maybe we can inspire each other.

Maybe we'll find out what we love.

Dancing,

Brushing horses,

Walking on the beach.

Sitting by water,

Dancing,

Ecstatic dance,

Hiking and walking,

Creating artwork,

Water,

Drawing while listening to music.

Oh that's so beautiful.

Embroidery,

Being outdoors,

Hand embroidery,

Cooking an awesome meal with great music and a glass of wine.

Painting,

Sculpting,

Floating in the lake.

Sitting by the lake and drinking in the energy.

Walking in my yard every day,

Watching the wind and the trees.

Yes.

Gardening,

Hiking,

Drawing,

Sledding down slow snow hills.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

I'm going to go to the beach.

Hiking,

Drawing,

Sledding down slow snow hills.

Nature,

Singing as part of a group.

Walking in nature,

Walking in nature around trees.

I was at a Bruce Springsteen concert and felt so blissed out.

I felt like as if life had ended there and then it would have been okay.

Wonderful.

Being out in nature,

Watching trees and birds,

Dancing,

Beach,

Everything by the water,

Reading,

My dogs.

Baking,

Cooking,

Dancing,

Sun salutations,

Writing,

Playing with dogs,

Being in the moment.

The next question is are you doing it?

Cooking,

Watching the sun rise over the San Francisco Bay.

Amazing.

Sailing,

Holistic festivals,

Looking at a flower or a fish through a magnifying glass.

Oh,

That's amazing.

Union with my lover.

So beautiful.

Hugging,

Totally talking with my niece.

Beautiful.

Let's do our meditation.

So you can be sitting if you'd like or you can be lying down.

Find a comfortable spot and what I'm going to do is we're going to do the meditation.

Then at the end of the meditation I'll read the sutra in Sanskrit and then in English.

Let's close our eyes.

Wherever you are,

As long as you're comfortable.

And I'd love for you to just to notice your inhale and your exhale.

As you inhale,

Notice your belly expanding.

As you exhale,

Feeling the belly naturally contract.

We don't have to breathe deeper or change our breath in any way in this one.

We just want to notice the natural life force that's moving through us without changing anything.

Then I'd like you to notice the place in between the breaths.

As you inhale,

Noticing the place where you hold the inhale at the end.

And then you exhale.

We're not prolonging that holding,

But just to notice that there's a little bit of a hold that as you inhale,

It's like you just sort of gently cup the breath for a moment before you allow it to exhale.

Let's just notice the holding after the inhale for now.

Inhale for now.

Again,

Just like you're holding something very delicate and magical in your hands.

When we think of that this life force flowing through us really is magical.

It is such a miracle that we're here.

Then let's notice at the end of the exhale,

We bring all the air out.

Then there is a suspension as we dip into the source where the inhale comes from.

So at the end of the exhale,

Feeling this suspension of the breath as we scoop up the life force to inhale.

And then at the end of the inhale,

We hold that delicate flower.

And then we exhale and we suspend in infinity.

Just very gently continuing this journey of experiencing the breath.

And again,

We're not prolonging anything.

We're just noticing.

We notice the inhale as the belly expands.

We notice the natural cupping and holding of the breath.

We notice the exhale.

Then we notice the suspension.

Then we notice the suspension.

So and then on your next inhale,

As you inhale and you're heading towards that holding,

Feeling the energy moving into that holding space,

Almost like you're kind of speeding up a little into the holding.

And then there's an energy that turns into the exhale.

And at the bottom of the exhale,

There's an energy that turns into that gap.

And again turns into the inhale.

I always picture it like a little ball or a little ball bearing.

And this ball is rolling through the circle of our breath.

And then it sees the corner coming.

And it almost anticipates this interesting infinite space.

And then it's kind of excited as it leaves the infinite space.

And the ball bearing keeps rolling through the breath.

And then just very gently allowing the breath to move naturally through this cycle,

Feeling the stillness,

The gentle slow movement,

Like every breath,

You're breathing in tranquility,

As it nourishes the cells of your body,

Your emotions,

Your mind,

Your emotions,

Your mind.

At the end of the exhale,

Breath surrenders to quietude.

For a moment,

You hang in the balance suspended in the fertile spaciousness that is the source of breath.

At the end of the inhale,

Filled with the song of the breath,

There is a moment when you are simply holding the tender mystery.

In these interludes,

Experience opens into exquisite vastness with no beginning and no end.

Embrace this infinity without reservation.

You are its vessel.

At the end of the exhale,

Breath surrenders to quietude.

For a moment,

You hang in the balance suspended in the fertile spaciousness that is the source of breath.

At the end of the inhale,

Filled with the song of the breath,

There is a moment when you are simply holding the tender mystery.

In these interludes,

Experience opens into exquisite vastness with no beginning and no end.

Embrace this infinity without reservation.

You are its vessel.

I'd love to know how you're feeling,

If there's a thought or something you want to take with you today.

Tranquility.

Bliss.

Don't fear the infinite,

Odd wonder of peaceful,

Infinite.

Awareness of the breath is brought to tears,

Easiness inside towards everything.

The breath can allow all of time and space to flow through this vessel infinitely.

Now,

Can you imagine sitting in a chair,

Sitting in meditation,

And that that's the goal?

We're not focusing on stilling the mind and trying to be Buddha-like and all that,

But that with every tiny movement of the breath,

We are drinking in infinity.

Can you imagine how different meditation would feel?

How different meditation would feel if that was our goal?

Well,

This has been wonderful.

Thank you guys so much for being here.

Like William Blake holding infinity in the palm of your hands.

Thank you so much for being here.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Reviews

Lovely❣️♾️☯️⚛️⚘️☄️🪔🖤🌸
Thank you so kindly❣️✨️♾️
Namaste🙏🏼✨️♾️☯️⚛️⚘️☄️

So softly multidimensional, the reading, the exploring, the experiencing. Lovely lovely lovely. I awaken to being ever mindful, ah, I’m inhaling, I’m cupping it gently, I exhale….🌬️
💕🎨🙏