Relief From Comparison And Jealousy

A little perspective on jealousy and comparison, and how we can stop letting them create unnecessary suffering. As well as a simple reflection and exercise to help you understand what's underneath these feelings and find more self-awareness, acceptance and relief.

Transcript

One of the first things I will share about comparison and jealousy is that it's just a normal human thing. Everyone's mind is going to do that from time to time, Maybe sometimes more than others. So let's not beat ourselves up about it. And just like anything with the mind, We can choose to engage with it or we can choose to just let it run its little show because that's what it does. So there's some level of acceptance around that. Choosing whether we're going to engage with it and feed it right because if you if you notice it coming up and you start feeding it, You start engaging in that, You add fuel to the fire, Then it just gets worse. I treat the mind as if it is a toddler. And what do you do with a toddler when you don't want them to go down a certain path or to go down a certain road? We redirect, Right? So you can kind of start to view your mind as a toddler. And so we redirect it. So when those thoughts start to come up, Do something else. Occupy yourself with anything else that would make you feel good. So that's the first thing. And then let's actually get into why this is happening and how we can feel a little bit better about it. Because obviously we want to be able to minimize the suffering that the mind creates. It all comes from the mind. And when you start to realize that, It gets a little bit easier because you recognize that the mind has this power over us and we don't have to be at the mercy of it. We don't have to listen to it. We don't have to engage with it. When you can recognize that your suffering comes from the mind, Then it makes you want to. . . Engage with it less. It makes you want to stop listening to it. And it's more than okay to stop listening to it. We don't need to have these thoughts. We don't need them. Some jealousy in comparison. I think it's helpful to remember that every human has very similar struggles. We worry about the same things. We fear the same things. We love the same things. We ultimately want the same things. We're so, We're so similar. We are one. We are all the same. But it's not seen that way because We're all seeing this separate. Separate beings, This and that, You and me. But that just really isn't the case. And so I think a lot of jealousy and comparison comes from this idea that we're all so different, We're all so separate. You have something better than I have. You're not suffering the way that I am. You're not experiencing what I'm experiencing. And I think the truth is that no, We, We all are suffering. We're all in this human body. We all have these minds. We all have these feelings and emotions and triggers and stressors and You know, It's the same for every person. It doesn't, It doesn't really matter what you have or what you don't have. You're still in the struggle of being a human. And that is hard. It is just hard, No matter what. It just is. Certain things can be more comfortable for others. I know that is true. But when it comes down to it, Everybody has their pain and suffering. Trust me when I say, Nobody gets out of that. I also believe that a lot of The comparison and jealousy is created from the way our society is. There is no reason. That that has to exist. And again, It comes back to separation and feeling so divided and separate and alone. It's like we've all been taught we have to compete with one another, That you have to be better than someone and have more than someone and be smarter than someone and And that doesn't really matter to a human. If you really look in your heart, It probably doesn't matter to you. It's just conditioning. It's something that we've been taught is important, But we know innately that it's not. So if you can focus more on what your heart is telling you, That's more of the truth of being a human, Not what the outside tries to get us to believe. If something feels troubling to you? Question it. If you're struggling with jealousy in comparison, It's helpful to ask yourself why. Until you get to the root. So you start at the surface, You ask the first question, Okay, Why am I experiencing this? And then you get your answer. And then you say, Okay, Why? And then you get the next layer. Okay, Why? And you get the next layer. And if you keep asking that, You get down to the core of what the issue is. And it's usually something very simple. A lot of times it comes down to survival. That's usually the biggest fear that a human has. Fitting in, Right? That's usually what the core of these issues stem from. Being accepted, Belonging. And we're afraid of not having that. So that's a nice exercise you can do is the asking yourself why over and over until you get to the core. That can be a really helpful thing to experience for yourself. And then it's reminding ourselves of what's important. You can choose to be a part of the game. You know, Keeping up with the Joneses, You can choose to be in that. Or you can choose not to. It's completely your choice. You get to choose what you really value. You get to choose what's really important to you. You get to choose if you care about money or things or what somebody else has or anything, You know, You name it, You get to choose how you feel about that. And if you need to change some things in your life, You're able to do that at any point, Especially if something is causing you suffering. There's already so much suffering to experience as a human. Why put yourself in the position to experience something that causes you unnecessary suffering? So it's just taking an honest look, Taking an honest look at yourself, Your life, Your choices, Who you're surrounding yourself with. What you really want, What you really value, Listening to your heart. Listening to your truth. So there is no reason. To be jealous or to compare. It is better to lead with the heart. To take care of ourselves. To lend a hand to someone if you can. To not judge. Because they're probably suffering in their own way. It's a lot of appearance, Too. It's what the mind believes is true about somebody else and their situation. It's what the mind thinks is true about you and your situation. It's a lot of stories. It's a lot of assumptions. The mind is just being that silly little toddler and you gotta put him in check. And one thing I will say that has helped me tremendously because I've struggled with this in the past. Is social media i do i don't do it i just don't because it's you're just setting yourself up for failure. If you're already struggling with these feelings of jealousy or comparison or insecurities, Don't go on social media because people are only gonna share their good moments and it just isn't real. And then we compare our crap moments to somebody else's great moment that they're posting and it just isn't real. So that might be one of the changes that you make in your life. I have found it to be quite nice. I don't miss it. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I'm only gaining by not being on it. Okay my friend, That is my two cents. I hope I helped you. Be well and take care.