You have this mental image of yourself that flashes across the screen of your mind.
Sometimes it happens so fast you don't know that it's there.
This self-image is so powerful that even the way you hold up your body depends on your self-image.
Your income,
The mate that you choose romantically,
Your endurance during sports,
The way you dress is part of your self-image.
Your hair,
Your watch,
Everything.
So this self-image in the beginning is very very invisible to you.
In other words,
You're getting these images and messages flashing across your mind but you're not noticing that they're happening.
A lot of people don't know that they have a self-image.
You start to realize,
Oh my god,
I have this blueprint in my mind.
You're in a very healthy way if you're seeing yourself living an adventurous life and it's not harming you or others,
Then we need to pay attention to that.
Ponder the question,
What is the difference between loneliness and sweet solitude?
What's the difference between you renting a cabin for two days in Montana,
There's just a fireplace and the rain,
You can't even walk.
What's the difference between that and loneliness?
If you can't stand sweet solitude then you probably can't stand being with yourself.
When we talk about self-image,
Let's talk about three different things.
Self-image is literally a picture that you have in your mind of yourself,
All aspects of yourself.
Self-esteem is how much you're able to love yourself unconditionally and then there's the ideal self which is the person you're trying to get to.
No matter what you look like at the age of 90,
You can say that I lived a life in which I could attract people that I wanted to attract.
I'll tell you about the strongest foundation of real self-esteem,
This goes way way back.
When you're growing up,
Let's say you're three years old,
You actually look at the parents eyes to see how they look at you.
So you have some kids now,
If you pay attention to them,
They're constantly checking your eyes and their mother's eyes to see how worthwhile they are.
Initially it begins when you're young,
If you're receiving good feedback from the parents eyes,
If you're receiving the kind of feedback that says you are my son no matter what you do,
You'll always be my son,
There are no conditions.
That will lend your child the highest self-confidence possible.
If you get the message that you are absolutely perfect because you are my daughter,
That's the highest self-esteem you can give to a child and they're checking out your eyes all the time.
This is why you would have believed your dad at a young age.
By the time you become a teenager,
If you're lucky,
You can then pick out certain imbalances in your dad and say no,
I don't believe him anymore.
But at seven you believe everything.
If you have a self-esteem that never budges,
It's because somebody gave you a message way back when that you're absolutely precious because of who you are,
Which also has nothing to do with discipline.
Discipline doesn't ruin self-esteem in the child.
Some parents are very staunch and disciplined but the children adore them because they know the intention is love.
You only notice your self-image when it changes.
Number one,
You have something that you call my life.
My life means that to you,
For you there's a dimension,
There's a space,
There's a job,
There's a house,
There's something that belongs to your life.
In other words,
You have a life,
You have a private life.
There's something meaningful about that sentence,
My life.
