Faking Happiness Can Hurt You. Do This Instead

In the era of motivational memes and an endless supply of life coaches, happiness has become trendy. But science is proving that striving for too much happiness can actually be bad for you. The technique offered in this practice is scientifically proven to lead to better psychological health. So when you’re in a funk, try this practice.

Please note: This track may include some explicit language.

Transcript

This is Justin Michael Williams and welcome to your practice.

Let's face it,

Most of us definitely prefer being happy over being sad,

But studies have shown that always striving for happiness is actually really bad for you.

Suppressing your emotions and even trying to reframe them with the gratitude practice isn't always appropriate and sometimes it even makes you feel worse.

So you don't always need to try to find this light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes you just need to be sad or angry or tired and let that be okay.

Now I want to be clear here,

I'm not suggesting that you sulk in sorrow for days and days on end.

If that's something that's happening to you,

I highly recommend that you go seek out some professional support and it's okay if you need to do that.

Many people do,

It really is okay.

But what I'm saying and affirming here for this practice is that with scientific evidence,

It is proven that real emotional health means being able to paint with every color on your emotional canvas,

Not just peace and love.

What if it was just okay that you were in a bad mood?

What if there was nothing to fix and nothing wrong and nothing to hide?

I've started to understand that real self-love,

And I mean real self-love,

Is being there for myself when I'm struggling instead of trying to force myself to be something or somewhere that I'm not.

You can imagine a little child coming towards you,

Genuinely hurt,

That needs love or needs care or needs rest.

And what I would hope is that you wouldn't just tell this little kid to suck it up or get over it or just fake it and keep smiling.

The healthy thing to do would be to allow this child to rest and to lay their head on your shoulder as you tenderly caress them and just let them know that it's okay to feel.

It's safe to feel.

And maybe those feelings have a message for them.

In this practice,

I offer that same level of compassion to you.

If you're comfortable,

I invite you to start with your eyes closed.

We're going to keep this practice simple and take five deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

And it might feel nice to let out a sigh on the exhales,

Just a soft sigh.

Be tender with yourself.

Let's breathe together.

Go ahead and inhale,

Hold it for a second,

And then exhale.

Let out a soft sigh.

Don't be afraid to just vocalize that just a little bit.

It makes a difference.

Again,

Inhale,

Hold it,

And exhale.

Let out a sigh.

Nice and soft and easy.

Again,

Inhale,

Hold it,

And exhale.

Light hold,

And exhale.

Two more.

Inhale even more deeply if you can,

Hold it,

And exhale with a sigh,

Letting the nervous system calm down.

Last one,

Inhale deeply,

Hold it,

And open the mouth.

Let it all out to feel.

I am allowed to feel whatever I'm feeling.

It's okay.

I am allowed to feel.

And sometimes I run away from my feelings because I'm afraid,

And that's okay too.

But right now,

Today,

In this moment,

I am safe.

I am safe.

I am allowed to feel.

It's okay.

It's okay.

You are allowed to feel.

Try for a moment now to just name the emotions that are bubbling up within you.

What is it?

Awareness is the first key.

So now see if you can locate that emotion in your body.

Where in your physical body do you feel this emotion?

See if you can find it.

It might be subtle or it might be strong.

Now I invite you to take your hands and place your palms together and start to rub your hands together with me.

And you can rub them together just to build up a little bit of heat.

And if you're comfortable doing this with your eyes closed,

Keep your eyes closed.

Just another moment.

And then when we stop,

I'd like you to place your hands directly on the spot in your body where you feel that emotion metastasizing.

One,

Two.

Place it wherever you feel it.

And through your hands,

Sending yourself the loving message that it's okay.

I am allowed to feel.

It's okay.

I am allowed to feel.

It's okay.

I am allowed to feel.

Try repeating that to yourself.

It's okay.

I'm allowed to feel.

Repeat that to yourself and really feel it.

Maybe even with a light whisper.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm allowed to feel.

I'm allowed to feel.

You are safe.

Right here in this practice,

You are safe to feel.

There's nothing to do.

There's nothing to fix.

Just giving yourself permission to feel is enough.

Now,

I invite you to stay here as long as you need.

But remember,

We tapped into a sensitive space today.

So if you're ready to move on with me now and finish out the practice,

I want you to imagine and visualize a place that you love.

And it can be anywhere.

It can be fictional or fantasy or from any time or place in your life.

Just somewhere that makes you feel safe and at ease.

A place that you like.

And I want you to picture yourself being there.

And notice what colors you see around you while you're there.

Notice what you're wearing while you're there.

Are you indoor?

Are you outdoor?

Bring as many details into your mental vision as you can,

Knowing that whatever shows up is exactly what you need.

Whatever arises is exactly what you need for this practice right now.

So as you breathe,

Just let that vision expand and expand,

Knowing that you can always come back here whenever you need it.

You are safe.

You're okay.

You are allowed to feel whatever you're feeling.

It's allowed.

It's okay.

You're safe.

Go ahead and take a deep breath in.

Hold it for a moment.

And open the mouth.

Sigh it out.

If you're ready,

Open your eyes.

And please be tender with yourself right now as we transition.

I invite you to think of any action that you could take right now that would just honor your emotions.

Maybe you just need to take a nap or cancel your plans or call someone that you want to talk to or just do nothing at all.

Sometimes feeling is enough and might be all you need.

Just take care of yourself.

And remember,

It's okay.

You're allowed to feel.

It's a great honor to practice with you today.

I send you love,

Feeling,

Deep feeling,

And the biggest blessings.

Namaste.

Reviews

Perfect time for Perfect words.

Aaaaaahmazing!!

I love u so much!🥰
I am allowing myself to feel good 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for this meditation and somatic experience. So grateful for your kind and gentle voice.

Thank you, I needed that reminder that it's okay not to feel okay. Go with how you are feeling and explore from there. Tomorrow is a new day, new beginnings

Thank you so much 🙏 I needed that reminder, delivered by you with so much compassion, to allow myself to feel what I am feeling.

I tell my patients this all the time! I will recommend they listen to this meditation. We are expected to be happy all the time and that’s just not realistic. We need to be true to be our authentic selves!

Namaste 🙏
Dakini 🌷💕🦋

Beautiful, calming, helped me connect with what I was really feeling and that was ok 🙏❤️

Being real was the message. Another great meditation by John Michael. 🙏🏻

Always what I need to hear and so helpful during anxious and emotional times.
Thank you for teaching me how to love myself for who I am.

Justin’s care and compassion comes through in a bg way. If this were a written piece I’d say his care and compassion “jump off the page.” While I already follow him, I will make a better effort to find more of his guided sessions. Thank you, Justin. Namiste.

Wow! this was so beautiful and so unlike the reframing that so many people try to get us to do. Thank you so much for showing us that we have feelings, all kinds of feelings, and that expressing them and feeling them is normal and natural. 💕💜🙏

Such a beautiful energy given. And a concept that is not often enough embraced. Thank you for giving a space to feel what needs to be felt.

Thank you, 🙏 this is exactly what I needed today.
I feel much better knowing it is ok to feel and just not fight against it.

Excellent... Perfect for me as a person that struggled with anxiety from time to time. Highly recommended!

Wow! I almost stopped the recording because I didn’t want to go there…. But I held on and trusted your guidance. This was very powerful and much needed. Thank you so much! Namaste to you! 💚💚💚

Really great! Thank you! 🌟🙏✨️

Permission to feel 🙏🏻💛