How Can I Get Out Of Feeling Deceived And Betrayed?

Ven. Pomnyun Sunim's Answer to “Feeling deceived and betrayed. How can I get out of this turmoil?” A question is chosen from the weekly Sunday meditation with Ven. Pomnyun Sunim.

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Note: This includes an English Interpretation.

Transcript

During the meditation, I spent most of my sitting dealing with a strong subconscious issue around feeling deceived and betrayed by my previous Zen master. I became aware that I'm still holding resentment and anger toward him. For 10 years, I experienced indoctrination, Suspected sexual misconduct, Financial exploitation and lots of alcohol intake, All promoted by the spiritual community. I became conscious that this had affected my trust and is interfering with my actual I can't understand how an enlightened individual can take advantage of others. I want to leave this behind, But my anger and resentment toward my previous master is deeply seeded in my subconscious. How can I get out of this turmoil? This question is more suited, Appropriate, Not during the meditation sessions but during our regular Dharma talk. The statement, You know, How can an enlightened individual can act in such a way? That's not the right question. When referring to the individual, You should use the phrase, Someone who claims to be enlightened, Not someone who is an enlightened individual. There are countless people throughout history who claim to be enlightened at the same time committed and claim to be enlightened and claim to be the Buddha and the sage himself but committed these atrocious acts. So the questioner, Because you had misunderstood what enlightenment is, You allowed yourself to be taken by this organization and this individual. Let's take an example of a stock in a stock market. So a broker approached you and said if you buy this stock for this company, They have this proprietary technology that's about to go through the roof and you'll make huge profits. And you know, These things happen every day, Even today, Right? So I took him at his word, I bought that stock. In the beginning, He seemed to do well. And I trusted that broker because it seemed that his recommendation paid off. Then after a while, The stock started doing badly until it just crashed. And your losses were huge. And whose responsibility is that? Of course, If the broker actually went against the law and broke the canons of his professional ethics, Then you might have a legal case there. And make sure that he never gets the opportunity to be in that business again and trick others. However, Say it's not a professional broker, But somebody who actually strongly recommended something to buy this stock, Then whose responsibility is that? Ultimately, It's your responsibility, The individual who bought this. You have no choice but to be accountable for your losses. Is that necessarily a bad thing though? I don't think so. Say you continue trading in stocks. Then you have lessons learned. So you'd be more cautious and not fall for exaggerations. Or you can stop trading stocks altogether. So what I'm saying is that this loss doesn't have to remain as a loss. This loss can be a lessons learned to prevent a bigger loss in the future. Just because somebody claims to be enlightened doesn't mean that person is. So you have to have the eye to be able to discern that. So many people claim to be enlightened. But what's the criteria by which you can evaluate these claims? Of course, If you are taken in by these people, It's that person's fault for tricking you. But at the same time, You share the blame because your condition existed for you to take that. People worship power in this world. First, If you have a lot of money, You gain a lot of power. That's why wealth is called, Richness is called wealth power. If you have a higher position and some authority, Then you have power. And that's the power that comes with your position. Of course, There is also power that comes from a belief in mysticism. We call this some special, Mysterious power. For example, You can predict the future, You can prevent a misfortune. So when religious or spiritual people tend to believe in power, They tend to believe in power. And that's the power that comes from the belief in power. And that's the power that comes from the belief in power. And that's the power that comes from the belief in power. So when religious or spiritual people tend to get taken in by the charlatans, They get taken in by the claim of some spiritual or mysterious power of mysticism. Because they are actually worshipping the power that comes with that claim. So Buddha denied power of all sorts, Whether they came from wealth or position or this mysticism. And he pointed out that worshipping these types of powers would prevent you from seeing the truth. Of course, If you have a lot of money, You don't have to use your wealth just to gain more power. But you can use it to help others through charity. Likewise, With a high position of authority, You can use that position to help others. So even mystic powers, You don't have to use it to showboat, To gain other types of powers for yourself. You can use that power to help others. So Buddha said even if he acknowledged the existence of mystic power, He said you should not use that against the public because you make the public foolish and dull. So you should not allow yourself to be taken by the showboating of certain mysticism of claims of enlightenment. You have to see how that person lives. The first thing, Criteria is, Does he live modestly? No matter how powerful or attractive that person might be, If he doesn't live modestly, Then you know he is not on the right path as a spiritual practitioner. And of course, If he uses ownership in a big building, Riding on a nice car or fancy clothing to assert his authority, That's not the right way either. Second is, How does he treat others? Is he humble? If he is arrogant, Arrogant, Ignores others, And shows off, Then he is not a good practitioner. It's because you claim to be a monk or a priest or a practitioner. If you are arrogant, If you show off your knowledge over others, That's not the right way. And third, You have to observe whether that person maintains his or her calm and equanimity. Does he get awfully excited over things that may happen that's positive or awfully down because something didn't go his way? Because that kind of gap in plus and minus is not a good way for a spiritual practitioner. And you have to watch whether in making a decision, Whether the person is inclusive of others' opinions and listens to others' voices and respect their opinions. Or does he make decisions in an arbitrary way? So, To move beyond the talk, The fancy talk, And to see right through the truth of the person, If you just examine the simple criteria, You can see that he is not a good practitioner. He is not a good practitioner. He is not a good practitioner. He is not a good practitioner. He is not a good practitioner. He is not a good practitioner. Of course, The converse does not hold necessarily. Just because a person is modest, It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. It's not enough to say that he is a good practitioner. If two factors come together, Can that be person deserving of respect? Because I was yet foolish and my eyes are not yet open, That's why I was taken in by this organization individual. You have to end it right there with that realization. Because listening to your question, I doubt if the questioner still has a good grasp of the truth of what you are saying. Because listening to your question, I doubt if the questioner still has a good grasp of the truth of what you are saying. Because listening to your question, I doubt if the questioner still has a good grasp of the truth of what Dharma is. Because if you did, Then you will be able to look back at that and say, You know what, I wasn't wise enough then. I was foolish then. And be done with it. And obviously through your question, It's apparent that you still carry that trauma of that experience with you. And that, First and foremost, You must treat and heal.