Generosity For Ourselves Right Now

In such a difficult moment can generosity help? Not philosophically, but the practice of generosity? Let's start with ourselves and see if it does. It might require some suspension of disbelief. It might require letting go of old, even cherished attitudes. It might mean we have to let in the good and the bad. But at this point, what do we have to lose?

Transcript

Hey everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 353.

Welcome.

The title of today's call is Generosity for Ourselves Right Now.

And we were already venturing into an exploration of the paramitas,

The six perfections of heart and mind,

Which are generosity,

Ethical conduct,

Patience,

Joyful effort,

Meditation,

And understanding or wisdom.

And then,

You know,

The US tilted even more radically than it has.

And we lost basic gun protections in New York and women and all humans lost dominion over our bodies and people of color and poor people became even more marginalized.

Prayer was ruled,

Permitted in public schools.

And we heard that our former president actively saw mentioned the violent overthrow of the 2020 election or the government,

Depending on how you see it.

Yeah,

So that was just last week and this week.

So there's a charge in the air,

I feel.

There's this devastation,

There's grief in my communities.

And in other communities,

There seems to be a kind of gloating,

Almost maybe a smugness.

And these are communities I'm not part of,

But just peeking into.

So in one way of thinking,

I think that we're going to have to be in the middle of this.

So in one way of thinking,

You know,

This is no time for studying,

Whether the paramitas or otherwise,

It feels like it could be a time for action.

But in another way of thinking,

There's really no better time to perfect generosity and ethical conduct and patience and effort and meditation and wisdom,

Because,

I mean,

There's no better time to practice.

So,

Norma Fisher says the paramitas are imaginal.

They're not something we can fully perfect.

And for years,

I've heard the phrase,

The perfection of generosity or of ethics or of wisdom or one of the others.

And I've focused on the phrase as a noun.

But now I'm looking at it as a verb.

So the perfection of generosity not being a destination,

But a practice.

As much an imagination of a practice as it is a practice itself,

But nevertheless,

A practice,

Not examining a thing called perfect generosity or trying to understand generosity as much as just putting on our sneakers and setting out on this really slippery,

Squishy,

Unstable path and knowing that the destination of generosity,

Like the destination of ethics and patience and joy and meditation and wisdom,

It's a kind of vanishing point.

You know,

We're asking ourselves moment to moment,

How can I be just a little more generous today?

And by the way,

Even though generosity is the first paramita,

That doesn't mean it's the most important.

The paramitas aren't ranked.

Each is equally important and each infuses and also is infused by the others.

So what is generosity and why start with generosity for ourselves right now when it feels like there are other more urgent things to do?

Well,

Maybe not.

Norman says generosity is the opposite of or maybe the antidote for the clenching and holding on for dear life that causes us so much suffering.

And he names that clenching,

That holding on as an attitude,

And it's supported an underlying belief and in our culture,

I think,

And in our profession,

Pervasive,

That there's not enough.

And even if there is,

We don't have enough.

So we need to work harder and drive our associates harder or we won't get our share.

That the pie is finite.

Norman suggests we can change that attitude,

That we really need to change that attitude in order to truly be generous,

That we need to let go of the attitude that we don't have enough or there isn't enough or we aren't enough and let in the beauty of nature,

The view of the city from your office,

The light in a child's eyes,

Let in the world,

Which in itself is a gift.

Let go and let in because this is generosity for ourselves.

That we can say,

Yes,

This world is for me.

Yeah,

This beauty also mine,

This kindness also for me.

I can let it in and let it contribute to my happiness.

So a staff member's smile,

Can we be generous towards ourselves by noticing it instead of rushing by it and let some of that joy be ours?

Now,

The flowers on someone's desk and they weren't sent to us,

But can their beauty be ours or getting really stretchy?

Can someone else's win their elevation to partner,

Their tenure also be ours?

You know,

Can we let those in too and be generous to ourselves and give to ourselves the joy that's available in the room,

In the world?

And,

You know,

Just to say,

Like,

That's not how I grew up,

Not in my family,

Not in the Jewish culture,

Also not what I learned as a lawyer.

You know,

I have enough,

There is enough,

I am enough.

These were not woven into those cloths.

So for me to truly learn to be generous towards myself and let go of the attitude that there isn't enough and I'm not enough,

It's really radical.

And I think that's why Norman says that first we have to imagine it and then practice.

And I just want to say in this moment,

All of this feels crucial and there's another part that feels crucial to me as well.

So taking in the world as a gift feels joyful.

And it also brings up a very deep existential sadness.

Now,

These birds that I'm hearing,

Maybe you can hear when I'm not talking,

They may not be here for very long.

We're losing species.

This land where I live,

Many lands may burn.

The area of the city where I'm used to walking in San Francisco,

It may be submerged,

Maybe sooner,

Maybe sooner rather than later.

And yeah,

There's more,

Right?

Letting in the world right now feels to me like not just letting in kindness,

But also letting in fear,

Letting in sorrow,

Letting in outrage,

Letting in disgust.

Can we let in whatever difficult emotions arise when we read SCOTUS decisions these days?

I've had a hard time doing that and also not doing that.

And I guess I'd say it feels most generous to let them in.

So I want to,

More than anything,

Just pose a question and invite you to explore for yourself whether generosity right now for you means letting in everything,

You know,

Letting in everything.

And if it does,

Just invite you to give yourself permission to do that.

And I can say that letting in everything,

Being generous to myself in the widest possible way,

It's helping me.

I'm not there yet,

But it's helping me to see how we're not separate.

You know,

It's not just that I'm seeing that those of us feeling sorrow and betrayal aren't separate from each other.

It's also that I can catch a glimpse,

Maybe,

Or I at least can imagine as Norman suggests,

We have to start with how we're not separate from those who are gloating or feeling slum.

You know,

Not just as an intellectual exercise,

But in the body,

Just a glimmer and imagination of that.

So maybe if we start to practice more generosity for ourselves right now,

It can help us just navigate day to day right now.

I hope so.

It reminds me of that Hafiz poem I used to have in my signature,

So if we've corresponded,

You might have seen it.

Still,

After all this time,

The sun never says to the earth,

You owe me.

Look what happens with a love like that.

It lights the whole sky.

So let's sit.

Finding a posture that's supportive for you right now,

Today.

Maybe placing your hand on your heart.

If that's supportive.

Maybe placing a hand on the belly,

If that's supportive.

Paying the attention to the breath.

Paying attention to the in breath.

Attention on the in breath and relaxation on the out breath.

And Breathing in and letting in.

Breathing in.

Whatever is here.

Breathing out.

Relaxing.

In the chair,

The cushion,

The earth.

Supporting you.

Breathing out.

Breathing in,

Letting in.

And breathing out.

And letting yourself be supported.

Breathing out.

Breath coming in,

The world coming in.

Its beauty and its difficulty all coming in.

And flowing back out.

Let the earth support this process.

Breathing out.

Generosity towards yourself.

And letting the earth help with that,

Support you with that.

Breathing out.

Breathing out.

Breathing out.

Breathing out.

Thank you for your practice.

May the merits of our practice support all beings.

Take good care.

We'll see you next Thursday.

Reviews

Thank you. I liked your voice. I would like to feel generosity toward myself....

Brilliant