Humans are complex,
Flawed and imperfect,
Extraordinary beings with unique personalities that are shaped by our life experiences,
Our upbringings and perspectives,
All of which color our view of the world.
As we each hold different morals,
Values and life goals,
It can sometimes be challenging to align our lives with others,
Leading to conflicts that further complicate things.
Being in relationship with another human being is a beautiful thing,
But not always easy.
If there is someone in your life with whom you are experiencing difficulty,
I encourage you to look beyond the surface of the conflict and dive down to what is truly going on.
I want you to call this person to mind.
Close your eyes and let your mind settle.
Take a deep breath in and let it out.
One more deep breath in and out.
As you focus on your breath,
Visualize this person in front of you.
Picture them sitting in front of you,
Knee to knee.
See their eyes.
What color are their eyes?
Stare into them.
Allow any conflict,
Disagreements,
Resentments to fall away.
See yourself releasing them in this moment,
Along with any tightness in your chest,
Your head,
Your stomach.
Now I want you to see them as a young child.
What does she look like?
What color is his hair?
See their face.
See them when they're full of joy,
Laughing,
Playing.
See their eyes light up smiling ear to ear.
Also see them when they're in pain,
When they're hurt,
Feeling alone.
Take a moment to recognize how much they love you and the efforts they are making.
Ask yourself some important questions.
What is it you're needing from them?
What is it they're needing from you?
Are you wanting to be right?
Do you believe they're doing the best they can and making an effort?
Do you have expectations that are fair?
Have you been clear in your communication?
Are you assuming they should know how you feel?
What can you take responsibility for?
Take a moment to acknowledge any negative feelings or misunderstandings you have had in your relationship with this person.
As you observe them,
Let go of any resentment,
Anger,
Or hurt feelings you may have been holding onto.
Instead,
Focus on their humanity,
Their unique life experiences,
And how these experiences have shaped them.
Begin to see them with compassion,
Empathy,
And understand that they are doing the best they can with what they have.
As your visualization comes to a close,
Take one final deep breath in and exhaling slowly.
Allow the image of this person as a little boy or girl to fade away,
Still holding onto the understanding and compassion you have gained for them.
When conflicts arise,
Look beyond the surface level and try to understand what is going on beneath the anger,
The frustration,
The resentment.
Relationships can seem difficult at times,
But we keep trying to make them work.
Why?
Because of love.
Love is everything.
When we align our life with another human being,
Life becomes vibrant and rich,
Knowing we get to experience it with someone by our side.
Remember that it is a gift and treasure all the moments you get to have together,
As they won't always be around.
Nicholas Sparks said,
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more,
That plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.
