New Year's Resolutions

Discover a more successful way to establish New Years Resolutions with this compassionate approach to helping warring inner parts cooperate. Based on the cutting-edge Internal Family Systems model, and "parts" work.

Transcript

Welcome to Move Toward with Jenna.

Today's guided meditation will be for New Year's resolutions.

And if you're like most of us,

You may have noticed that New Year's resolutions don't tend to last very long.

And the reason is because we tend to make New Year's resolutions out of a burdened part of us rather than from our core essential self.

So for today's meditation,

I'd like to invite you to call to mind a resolution that you may be considering setting for this New Year ahead.

And as you call to mind that resolution,

Invite the parts of you that have feelings or opinions about this resolution to come forward in your mind's eye.

Very likely there will be one part of you that has some pretty strong feelings about making this change.

This might be a very strong part of you that wants you to lose weight or start practicing more self-care or using your voice.

Whatever it might be,

Notice that part of you first.

You may notice where this part of you shows up in or around your body.

So for example,

If this part of you wants you to lose weight,

When you start thinking about losing weight,

Where do you notice that part of you in or around your body?

Now gently allow your attention to be with these sensations,

With loving kindness,

With appreciation,

And just take a moment to welcome this really well-intentioned part of you in the way that it shows up.

You may get an image of this part of you kind of pop up in your mind's eye.

So just stay with it until you begin to notice that you are feeling open-hearted toward it and perhaps curious or compassionate.

And as you send appreciation or curiosity to this part of you,

Maybe ask this part of you where it learned how to try to help you by making you do this thing that it wants you to do.

And you may get a memory that comes to mind of an earlier time in your life when this part of you learned that if you did this thing,

Something would be better.

You could avoid a negative outcome.

And if that's the case,

Just letting this part of you know that what it's trying to help you with makes sense.

You might ask this first part what it's afraid would happen if it didn't take you over and make you try to do this.

You might want to ask this part how it likes this job that it has.

How does it feel about perhaps having to work this hard to try to help you avoid a negative outcome?

And you may discover that this part of you has been working very hard for a very long time and it may feel a bit frustrated or exhausted.

It may not even like the job that it's doing for you.

And if you get that sense,

You can ask this part if you didn't have to worry about trying to protect me and you didn't have to do this job,

Is there anything that you would rather do for me instead?

And if something comes to mind,

Maybe even something quite opposite of the job that this part of you is currently doing,

You can just know that that is probably what this part of you was designed to do in the first place before it got stuck with this heavy difficult job that it's been in.

So if it feels right,

Just sending gratitude and appreciation to this first part of you for how hard it's trying to help you.

Just sharing appreciation with it.

And now I would invite you to fast forward perhaps several weeks into your New Year's resolution when perhaps some of that initial enthusiasm may have worn off.

And now call to mind another part of you,

A second part that really doesn't want to do that New Year's resolution or may show up to sabotage it in some way.

This may be a part of you that doesn't want you to get out of bed early to go for a run or really would like to eat all the cookies and not the kale.

Whatever part the second part may be,

Just gently invite it to come forward in your mind's eye.

You might get a visual image of it or you might notice where it shows up in or around your body.

It might show up in fatigue or lack of energy or a desire to binge in some way.

However you're aware of it,

See if you can send some loving kindness toward this second part of you.

And that might feel a little bit harder to do than it was with the first part.

And that's okay.

Just stay with it until that natural loving kindness that is at your core,

That is who you truly are,

Begins to open toward this second part of you.

And when you're able to connect with perhaps some curiosity or some compassion or love for the second part of you,

Then go ahead and extend that to the second part.

See if it's able to receive that from you.

And then maybe ask the second part where it first learned how to try to help you by making you do the thing that it makes you do.

And again you may notice that you have some memories pop up of the first time this part perhaps learned how to help you avoid or to binge,

Whatever it might be.

So if that's the case,

Just acknowledging this part's been working hard to try to help you since way back then.

And maybe ask this second part how it feels about the job that it's gotten stuck with.

You may get the sense that it doesn't really like this job,

But it feels like it has to do it.

And if that's the case,

Ask this second part of you what it's afraid would happen if it didn't take you over and make you do the thing that it makes you do.

What's it afraid might happen?

And the answer that you get to that question may help you see this part's positive intent.

Maybe it's trying to help you get rest or to have some relief from stress or overwhelm or shame.

Maybe it's trying to in a really sideways way help you get some self-care needs met.

But whatever you become aware of,

Just sending appreciation to this second part of you for how it's trying to help you in that way.

You may want to even ask the second part if you didn't have to try to protect me or help me in this way,

Is there any other job that you would prefer to do?

And if something comes to mind,

Again perhaps something very opposite in nature from the first job,

You may be aware that this is what this second part of you was really designed to do.

So just sending again loving kindness to this second part for how it's trying to help.

And now I would invite you to bring both of these parts together with you,

Maybe sitting in a circle,

The three of you together,

And just letting them each share how they're each trying to help you in probably two completely opposite ways.

And now you in your core authentic self that is always calm,

Clear-minded,

Loving,

And wise,

Can facilitate a conversation between these parts of you as a way of making a more balanced decision about how you want to step into this new year.

Notice that in the old polarized pattern,

Each of these parts of you might want you to behave in an extreme way.

Maybe only eating kale or never getting out of bed or going to the gym seven days a week.

But now as a team together with your leadership,

Helping them to consider some options where they could both get their needs met and not have to fight each other quite so much.

And as some ideas come to the surface,

Helping these two polarized parts of you to land on perhaps a compromise.

A compromise that would help them both get their needs met,

Maybe in a more balanced way,

And not have to be in such a war inside of you.

Notice how that feels for them.

And as you complete this exercise,

Sending again so much love to both of these parts of you,

Thanking them for what valuable parts of your inner world they are and for the beautiful insight they've given you today.

And whatever agreement the three of you have reached together,

Setting that intention for this new year as the new self-led way that you are going to step into this new year with more balance,

More inner harmony,

And more peace.

Thank you for joining Move Toward with Jenna for this new year's meditation.

This approach to working with our parts is based on the internal family systems model developed by Dr.

Richard Schwartz.

If you enjoy working with your parts and would like to do so more,

Come hang out with me at movetoward.

Com.