So the book starts by helping the reader understand fragmentation,
Which is the word that I prefer over dissociation.
I mean,
We could say embracing our dissociated parts,
But,
You know,
Dissociated parts is not a term that makes you feel warm and fuzzy,
Right?
I mean,
There's nothing wrong with it,
But in general,
Dissociation is not a word that people have warm feelings toward,
Especially not in the mental health field.
So when I began talking about fragmentation years ago,
It was a way to have a language that didn't immediately stigmatize people because dissociation had become associated with multiple personality disorder and therefore an extreme,
Very pathologized condition.
I wanted people to understand that dissociation and fragmentation are normal responses to trauma and that they arise because we have a brain that's fragmented.
Now it isn't pleasant to think,
Oh shit,
I have a fragmented brain,
But the fact is the brain consists of multiple structures,
Each with different functions that communicate via neural pathways.
So our brain has parts and depending on the neural pathways,
Those different structures in the brain can work smoothly and well,
Or those structures can be affected by trauma in such a way that they facilitate our having the same trigger trauma responses over and over and over and over again.
So dissociation or fragmentation means that the individual survived by virtue of being able to separate from what was happening.
Many times trauma survivors talk about floating up to the ceiling and watching what is happening to that other child,
Which actually is a miraculous ability of the human brain.
So in that moment,
We become two little children,
One that can hover above,
Detached from what's going on,
Can see that it's horrifying,
But doesn't feel any relationship to it.
And then,
Of course,
There's a child to whom it's happening.
And having that split in the brain is inherently adaptive because it allows the child to carry on normally.
The traumatic experience or that particular traumatic event is over.
And this part that just observed takes on whatever is coming up next in regular life.
Maybe it's time to help with dinner.
Maybe it's time to do homework.
Maybe it's time to go to bed and get up early for school.
And so that traumatized part remains separate from the child that keeps on keeping on.
That ability is a godsend in a dangerous world.
Let us not forget that traumatic events are just events,
But they occur in a context.
And the context for all traumatic events is a dangerous world.
Whether we're talking about domestic violence,
Whether we're talking about war,
Child abuse,
Natural disaster,
Right?
It's a dangerous world that isn't just dangerous when something happens.
It's dangerous all the time.
