When Everyone Is Against You: Feels Real But Not True
This July 15, 2025, live event somehow got 3,300 likes from 24 participants, and this was confirmed legit by Insight Timer staff. Anyway, the description: Hopefully, you've never experienced the feeling of everyone seeming to be against you. Of course, it is possible to feel this way, but it is not true. And I plan to use this as a springboard to explore the perceptual strategy of 'it feels real but is not true.' We may also do some reflective exercises to see how this approach may work with past events and contemplate how to implement it now and going forward
Transcript
Wholeness and welcome.
This is Josh,
Integrating Presence,
InnerSkilled,
And today's event is called,
When Everyone Is Against You,
Feels Real But Not True Strategy.
Or the strategy of feels real but not true.
In the description,
Hopefully you've never experienced the feeling of everyone seeming to be against you.
Of course it is possible to feel this way,
But it is obviously not true.
And I plan to use this as a springboard to explore the perceptual strategy of it feels real but it is not true.
We may also do some reflective exercises to see how this approach may work with past events and contemplate how to implement it now and going forward.
And with that,
Let's just close our eyes and take three conscious breaths.
And we can be more in a heart and mind space to receive and for me to transmit.
So every moment of the inhale,
To the top of the pause of the inhale,
Start of the exhale,
On through every moment of the exhale and the pause until the body wants to breathe in again,
Repeat.
It's okay if you do more than three.
Also notice any obvious areas of tension and tightness and allow them to relax,
Invite them to relax.
Okay,
When you're ready,
You can open your eyes,
Come back.
So this notion of feels real but not true is from a fellow Insight Timer teacher,
Way big scale,
Tara Brock.
And so she's talked about this and this is kind of where this comes from.
Very helpful psychologist and Buddhist teacher and has a whole huge program with Jack Kornfield too.
And yeah,
For accreditation and anyway,
So you can look up Tara Brock on Insight Timer and this strategy.
So this comes from a really trying time in my life when there's actually this notion,
Of course it's not real,
Of everyone seeming to be against me.
This is where it's quite a slightly paranoid notion and it just when everything isn't going right,
Nothing seems to be going right.
It seems like I can do nothing to make friends,
That yeah,
Nothing was going right for me.
I couldn't do anything right for anybody else.
Things just seem to be going south in every direction.
And of course we've all been in a similar situation to one degree or another.
And then we can obviously contrast this with places of like,
I feel on top of the world,
Everything's going my way,
Everything's paying off,
Everything's so great,
Life is so beautiful,
I'm in love with everything.
So this is kind of one axis on the spectrum of being human.
So these really low points,
Like this one,
When everything seems against me,
Like it's me against the world,
Right?
We hear that phrase too.
So what it takes is hopefully you have the time to reflect during these and feel into this thing.
And usually where these these stories and ideas and feelings get generated from,
It's actually kind of like a protective mechanism that wants to help keep us safe.
But a lot of times it can lock us in a prison too.
So the mind will kind of come up with a story and a feeling that it feels very real,
Right?
It feels that way,
But on deeper examination,
Even though it feels real and seems real,
It's not the full truth of the matter,
Right?
So actually let's just do this exercise real quick.
This is going to be a shorter one.
I invite you to close your eyes and reflect on a really,
Um,
Well,
First off,
Um,
Reflect on how,
Um,
Some instances in our lives,
It doesn't have to be the most challenging one where,
Um,
We had beliefs one thing one way,
And then we find out the truth of what's really going on,
The truth of how it actually is.
And then all of a sudden that belief or the way I felt completely changed just from knowing the truth or started to transition how I changed or how you changed just from the mere fact of knowing what was really happening.
And what we thought was going on,
What we felt was going on,
Um,
Was confronted with something else we didn't know about and how that had an impact.
Spend some time in silence here.
Hopefully the sound dampening is on because this thing in Denmark there,
Instead of spraying chemicals,
Killing grass,
They have an incinerator,
A little blow torch,
And it's a much more clean way to beautify the concrete.
But anyway,
Distractions aside,
Again,
Let's find out in life where we've,
Our bubbles been burst and we actually found out something.
Actually,
I guess it could be worse than what we thought it was.
So we can use that negative thing too,
If need be to find out what we thought and felt was the case.
Then we found out the truth and it,
It,
It changed.
And then of course,
Be kind to ourselves.
And we,
We,
Um,
We realize that,
Yeah,
We can't know everything all the time.
There's so much deception and misunderstanding and misinterpretations on our parts,
On society's part.
So meeting it with kindness and comparing compassion and a resolve to,
Um,
Know what's really going on,
But in order for our long,
Long-term welfare and happiness,
Not as a power play or to get back at someone or to,
Um,
Leverage it for something that's not helpful and skillful.
And then we can reflect on,
Um,
Recall a time in our lives where,
Um,
It's been a challenge for us and we thought things like,
Um,
Nobody will ever love me.
Nobody,
Nobody likes me.
I can never do anything right.
And how the story,
This,
This story that the mind will create,
It feels real,
Right?
It really feels that way.
And we can feel into that in the body.
And then we can,
And then we can ask things like,
Is this the entire truth?
Is there anything else to this that,
That,
Um,
I'm not seeing or knowing?
What else is there?
And what's needed now?
What am I missing to this belief,
This feeling where it feels real?
Is this the whole picture?
Is this everything?
And this way we're not shaming or blaming ourselves in an unhelpful way.
And we're kind of discovering this for ourselves,
Not some kind of teacher handing it down on high,
Kind of discovering this for ourselves.
Like what else is there?
What,
What's,
What am I missing here?
Especially what's helpful now.
A lot of times we get locked into,
Oh,
This seems like it's going to last forever.
You know,
It's going to be like this for a really long time.
But as we know,
And that's not the case,
Everything changes.
And a lot of time that basic insight is not there because we're,
We're locked into the,
The feeling and the,
The event.
And we forget,
At least I know for myself that it's,
It doesn't seem like it's going to stop.
Right.
It's so don't even think that that's an option.
And this is very common,
Um,
To,
To really not have this availability to,
To know this insight that it will change and then how to be with it until it changes for the better.
I think you can draw on your future wisdom too,
Of how,
Um,
If you keep practicing and,
Um,
Have the intent,
Um,
To cultivate states and states of mind and heart that are beneficial for yourselves and others that eventually your future self will be wise and then wiser and more loving and caring,
And then can,
Um,
Draw on that future wisdom,
Hypothetically,
Conceptually,
To,
To help us right now,
To,
To be of assistance right now.
Jerry Joe says,
I never find a need to wander from the perspective that the world is my mirror,
Not a window.
And for mind,
It seems quite helpful to see it all.
All our world is largely,
If not entirely in imagination game.
Well,
Jerry Joe,
This is really helpful.
I want to ask you,
If you feel comfortable sharing still here,
Um,
It says,
Um,
Never find a need to wander from that perspective.
I want to know how you,
Um,
Kind of,
Is there anything you actively do to keep that in place?
Or is it just kind of the wisdom from that has benefited so much that it's now kind of,
Um,
I can say default mode of,
Um,
Baseline perception.
And if you want to expand on that,
I would love to hear that too.
The world is my mirror,
Not a window.
We have this teaching that,
Um,
Yeah,
The world mirrors back to us kind of what we need to,
Um,
See and work on,
Um,
As a kind of a reflection of ourselves.
And,
Um,
You know,
The,
The,
The thing where this could go into,
Um,
I think the unhelpful end is that I'm constantly seeing negative things that,
Oh,
And then,
And then use it as an excuse to beat myself up.
Okay.
Oh,
I see that.
That means I must be doing something wrong.
I'm seeing this negative thing in the world.
So that must mean I'm doing something wrong.
And sometimes that's the case,
But other times it's not.
So this is where I be kind of,
Um,
Careful with this in a way.
Uh,
Another teacher that said like,
Well,
You start seeing the,
Your own radiance everywhere,
You know?
So,
Um,
Yeah,
It's careful how we,
We receive that reflection,
How we hold it and what we do with it too,
I think.
And Jerry just says,
Always start inside first.
I just looked out and felt victim strange,
But it's my world.
What I see is inside me.
Yeah.
This whole notion of inner and outer,
And if there is really an inner and outer or where does that start?
Where does that stop?
Yes.
Um,
So again,
This is,
It's a helpful teaching.
I think when we were holding it right in,
We're,
We're,
Um,
Viewing it,
Right.
Right.
Helpfully.
And then what we do with that,
Um,
And how we respond to it.
Let's see if there's,
Yeah.
Okay.
Well,
Did anybody,
Was anybody care to show,
Um,
A care to show?
Yeah.
It's going to be kind of hard to do that,
I guess,
Unless you can turn on camera somehow for me anyway.
So anyone I want to share,
Um,
If anything came up with that exercise,
Whether specifics or just kind of wisdom gained when you or even if there was a sense of relief,
Um,
Involved in that,
Um,
Anything else you'd like to know or learn.
Um,
As we felt into that,
I'm going to share this nervous system meditation.
I have on plus here with this cards.
I'm totally forgot to do the promotional stuff.
And,
Um,
They kind of recommend we do these promotional things and also have a breath awareness,
Um,
Course here for,
And thank you guys all for the hearts.
Wow.
It's amazing.
Uh,
Yeah,
Keep it coming.
Um,
And then we're supposed to ask for donations too,
But actually I think I'm just going to review here maybe into a minute earlier and yeah,
You're welcome.
Jerry Joe.
Um,
So again,
When we have these ideas that I'm unlovable,
Uh,
I can't do anything right.
You know,
Um,
Nobody likes me.
I'll never be able to do this.
And that these limiting beliefs,
Um,
There's no need to deny that they,
In the moment they feel real,
You know,
They,
They really feel that way to,
To,
To pretend there,
There's kind of nothing to it whatsoever.
I think it's kind of a disservice.
However,
The,
The larger,
More helpful picture is,
Is recognizing it,
Feeling it in the body and,
And just inquiring,
You know,
Being,
Um,
Befriending it and seeing what,
What else is going on here?
Is this the entire truth?
Is this,
Um,
You know,
Is this the most helpful way?
Is this the most true way?
Is this really,
Really true?
Or is there a wider truth going on here?
And yes,
Our innate wisdom will,
Um,
Most inevitably kick in and we'll see deeper truth going on here.
So with that,
Um,
I want to thank you all for joining all the,
The love and feedback here.
And,
Yeah,
Check out Tara Brach and this,
This method that she's known for.
Also,
This notion of rain,
Recognize,
Allow.
Oh my goodness.
Um,
Oh my goodness.
I'm,
I'm missing this.
I'm completely flubbing on rain.
Um,
But you'll have to check out that approach too.
It's not any time to go into here.
So everyone,
May you come to know the deeper truth of what the mind comes up with,
With stories we tell ourselves and the feelings it creates to keep us safe and then go beyond this into less,
Um,
Limiting and even safer modes of knowing deeper and deeper truths about ourselves,
The world,
For our own welfare and happiness and for that of others,
Especially in the long term.
May you all be in practice well.
Bye.
