Why do I think perfectionism is a trap?
Because whether we're aiming for the perfect body or the perfect project that we might be working on or whether we want the perfect life,
The reason why setting an ideal at all is a trap is because perfect is the wrong goal.
What if freeing ourselves from perfectionism is simply about shifting our perspective?
John Lennon from the Beatles is arguably one of the most successful songwriters ever,
But he was someone who was honest about his imperfections and he embraced them openly.
So he wrote songs like I'm a loser or help.
Which he later said in an interview was an actual cry for help.
He sang about his own jealousy,
About being tired and lonely.
And afraid.
Imperfect.
What if instead of feeling ashamed for being less than perfect,
We were able to be honest,
Because in reality,
We are all flawed.
We're flawed and it's okay.
It's part of what makes us human and what makes each of us unique.
And unless and until we can accept ourselves through our imperfections,
We can't actually grow or do anything about the things that we're not good at or maybe not proud of.
12 years ago,
Two people who love me and who I love very dearly on the same day told me I'm not a good listener.
I said,
I don't know what you're talking about.
I heard every word you just said.
I didn't understand then that listening is so much more than hearing someone.
Listening is,
It's about caring.
It's about trying to understand someone else's point of view.
It's about giving them the space to be heard and to be understood.
And to be accepted for having their own opinion,
Even if that opinion is different from yours.
So for 12 years,
I've worked on being a better listener.
And am I a better listener today than I was then?
I certainly hope so.
When we stop holding out an ideal of perfectionism,
It allows us to get really honest.
And when we can say honestly,
Without a whole lot of guilt or shame,
I'm imperfect,
We're free.
We're free to be the imperfect version of ourselves,
The work in progress version of ourselves,
The truest version of ourselves.
And not some ideal standard that we feel we have to try to live up to because who is that really serving anyway?
Nobody.
12 years ago,
When I was finally ready to admit that maybe I didn't have it all figured out and maybe there were some things I still needed to learn,
That's when I became free to grow into the better version of me,
The one who still knows she'll always be a work in progress.
Because aren't we all a work in progress anyway?
