I'm absent,
As far as I know,
Katie this morning who helps me with posting the key lessons and the preparations for making a presentation online like this to Inside Timer.
And so I'm going to have to do a little double duty and try to post as best I can the things that I want you to be able to take with you from our time together,
If you will.
Bring yourself back into your body,
Remembering yourself,
Awareness of yourself,
Whatever words,
They don't much matter.
What matters is what I do in the morning to decide whether or not I'm going to pay attention to what is most important of all and what is most important of all.
That's what we're going to look at.
Maybe,
Claudia,
If you don't see Katie put it perhaps you can post it if you have it available.
We're going to look at what some people might consider a miracle.
Some might think that's impossible.
But I will tell you as a fact that everything I'm going to describe to you is not just possible,
But it is intended for you as an individual to be able to do,
Meaning to be able to change the experience of your life literally in every moment.
But before you'll be able to do this,
You must understand the need to be able to do it.
Out of need comes a new kind of will.
We're going to look at this new kind of will.
So Claudia has already started posting this and I suppose it's good.
Let's read it and get started.
The mind asleep to itself doesn't realize it creates the stress and strain it can't stop trying to rescue itself from.
And that the more it struggles to think of a way out of its self-induced conflict,
The greater grows its struggle.
And the more it struggles to think its way out of its self-induced conflict,
The greater grows its struggle.
Honestly,
And you must examine yourself.
This is not a talk where I sit and spew out these ideas and you sit and listen like you're watching a movie.
You must be active while we're together.
You must be willing to see whether or not it's true.
How instantaneously your mind can be seized by any particular thought,
No matter how it starts or what it seems to be about its significance or otherwise.
And that the moment that this mind starts rolling along,
As I like to say,
A rolling thought gathers mass.
We are more or less co-opted by this thinking that seems to be trying to resolve whatever the problem may be that's captured our attention,
Failing to see,
As we do,
That the more we give our attention to what our mind points to as being the problem,
The more identified we are with that reaction,
The less free we are from the thoughts and their confinement,
Telling us what we must do to resolve this conflict that we think we have think we have with life.
This is difficult to understand.
I'll throw it out and then we're going to get into the heart of this talk.
There is no conflict that life has with itself.
There is no interaction,
No intersection of events that isn't part of life acting to purify and perfect itself through its actions upon itself,
Through itself.
And you and I are an important part of this life that we don't realize yet our role in it.
So let's get going,
Having said the key lesson.
I think most of us are familiar,
If not,
You will be now,
That there are a number of passages,
East and west,
In the old scriptures that address this idea of how there is this almost incessant struggle to escape the conditions that our mind calls up as being responsible for our pain and then tries to think its way out of.
Here are a couple of these old ideas.
Christ said,
What man,
What woman taking thought can add one cubit to their stature,
Meaning who by taking thought is going to enlarge themselves so much so that they become bigger than the problem they're facing.
He's saying clearly that doesn't work.
Christ said,
Therefore take no thought for tomorrow,
For tomorrow will worry about itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
So here Christ is alluding to this idea that sufficient to the day is this set of conditions that will constantly appear,
That you and I are always trying to take thought over and about what to do.
How do I get rid of this problem that has appeared?
And then the moment we have that reaction,
The resistance to the appearance of that disturbance,
What follows other than a string of thoughts?
Each and every one trying to tell us,
Each and every one talking to us,
Instructing us,
Laying out plans,
Filling us with promises or the temptation of how much better things will be when at last we do what those thoughts are telling us needs to be done.
And if one thing should be clear and it's not,
We listen to these thoughts endlessly telling us what we must do to bring an end to the pain that they have brought with them in resisting and claiming that the conflict is in the condition we blame it for.
And how long has that been going on?
I may not have said it as clearly as I wish,
But the one point should be beyond doubt,
All of this thinking to no end.
All of it.
Now,
I'm not talking about practical thought,
Not talking about the advancements,
The true advancements,
Perhaps in medicine or in science.
I'm talking about those thoughts and feelings that as we are engaged in a dialogue with them within ourself,
By their nature,
Produce a torment.
And then that torment drives us to be more engaged in those thoughts and feelings,
All of which what?
Promising us a point in time when we will at last escape the condition those thoughts blame for our pain.
When the real condition that is causing us our pain is that we are engaged and identified with a mind that only knows how to think about the problems that its own thinking has produced,
That its own demands and desires have created.
All to no end.
That's the first point,
10 minutes into this time together,
All to no end.
You must see it for yourself.
I can't convince you.
How many times have you thought I should be a better person?
I shouldn't have this bitterness.
I shouldn't revisit the past because I always get beat up there.
I should be like this.
I should be like that.
Because it's clear that being what I am doesn't work.
And we live in a kind of constant churning,
Like being caught in a large wave at the ocean,
Thrown about,
Barely knowing up from down,
And then surfacing and saying,
Thank God,
And then going right back into the waters of that dark mind,
Asleep to itself,
To no end.
This is why the Buddha said,
If you can't do anything about it,
Let it go.
Don't be a prisoner to things you cannot change.
Don't be a prisoner to things you cannot change.
Now,
What does that mean?
If you can't do anything about it,
Let it go.
Don't be a prisoner to what you can't change.
What do we think about all the time other than trying to change the experience we have given to us by our thoughts resurfacing and reappearing and reasserting themselves as our guide,
Reasserting themselves as the way to resolve the pain that we're in,
So that what we can't change is the nature that thinks about how to save itself by reliving the thoughts that it gives us.
We can't change this thinking nature by thinking up from it.
We cannot change this thinking nature by thinking from it.
We must learn to understand it.
What Buddha was alluding to here is stop being a prisoner of this unconscious nature that imagines,
Which it does,
That it can think its way out of its own thinking.
Because it can't,
And it's evident that the torment of thought drives us to look to other thoughts to bring an end to the torment of,
Who am I?
What am I going to do?
What does this mean?
Why did they say that?
All of that is useless suffering produced by a useless identification with an unconscious mind that only knows how to think towards its problems,
And there are no solutions to the spiritual quandary in thought.
We cannot change any experience that we don't want by listening to the nature that's responsible for creating it and then telling us what to do.
And the more we see this is true,
The greater grows a new kind of spiritual strength that I've called in the title of this talk a silent shout,
Which we'll get to,
And the greater the strength of that silence,
That silent shout,
The more we understand certain passages east and west.
Christ said,
Tell this mountain to move and it will.
The old Zen teachings,
First there's a mountain,
Then there is no mountain,
Then there is.
All of these things allude to a new relationship that we are intended to have with life instead of this old relationship we have with our old thinking,
This old mind that is constantly telling us what to do in order to escape the torment that it creates by its conflicted nature.
So I have to help make some of these more difficult ideas,
I guess,
A story to help make it clear.
So let's take a nice deep breath.
I'll have a drink and let's have this story.
Imagine for a moment that here's a group of people on safari and it's late in the afternoon and the ranger with the jeep,
You've seen them,
These big tall jeeps.
The ranger is leading the small group of 10 people,
Men and women,
Children,
Back to the jeep from out of that bush where they were because at dusk,
The ranger knows that that's when the predators start prowling.
That's when they hunt.
So everybody's ushered back to the jeep.
When they get back to the jeep,
They do a head count and the ranger notices,
Oh my God,
One of the ladies is missing.
She's not in the group.
First,
He's filled with judgment.
How could have I not noticed that?
But then he realizes this isn't the time to think about what happened.
It's time to take action.
So he immediately tells everybody,
Get in the jeep,
Wait for me.
And he goes back to look for this woman who apparently somehow wandered off.
He runs back down to the bank of this large river where they had been watching a lot of animals come down to get their drink.
And there's this woman.
And she's surrounded by jackals and hyenas and lions,
Even a hippopotamus.
And they're snarling,
They're snapping,
They're doing those mock charges.
And she's standing in the center of all these creatures.
And the ranger thinks,
There's nothing I can do.
And he thinks,
Well,
I do it.
And he fires his gun.
Bang.
But the creatures don't react at all.
If anything,
They move a little closer to this woman.
Now,
The funny thing is he notices she doesn't seem that concerned,
Which is another problem in his mind.
Is she on drugs?
What's going on with this person?
So he watches,
Knowing he can't rush in there.
And as he's watching them close in,
The woman starts walking over and whispers in the ear of each of these creatures something that he can't hear.
But as she whispers it,
And apparently it's not much.
Each one of these creatures acts a little bit stunned.
And a few of them,
She has to say it twice,
It seems.
But as she says this one by one,
The creatures walk away until there's no creatures left.
And then to his amazement,
Because obviously she doesn't see him,
She walks over and sits back on this big log by the river to continue watching the animals,
Enjoying the relationship with them.
So he walks over and he says to her,
What's with you?
What was that about?
I can't understand it.
Are you a magician?
And she says,
No,
Not at all.
Actually,
He said it was no big deal.
What do you mean no big deal?
He said,
Here you are watching the sunset when you shouldn't even be alive for this encounter you just had with these dangerous creatures,
Not to mention a whole gang of them.
What could you have possibly said?
What would you whisper to each of these creatures that would make them back off and walk away?
Let me break into my story for a second.
Wouldn't you like to be able to say silently to these rampaging,
Encircling,
Conflicted thoughts and feelings about who did this and why she did that?
And what does that mean?
And when is this going to change?
And why am I like that?
And now what's going to happen?
Wouldn't you like to have inwardly the spiritual power to be able to say to those thoughts what this woman said to those creatures and have those thoughts and feelings back off and walk away and leave you in peace?
I imagine you would.
So the ranger says,
I'm breathless with anticipation.
What could you have possibly said to produce this result?
And she looks at him and says,
It says,
All I said to them,
To each was enough.
Enough.
And you may have noticed that a few of them were quite adamant.
So I had to say it a little stronger.
Enough is enough.
Enough is enough.
Ranger says,
You got to be kidding me.
That's it?
She says,
Yeah,
That's the truth.
He said,
It works.
She said,
Well,
Did you see it or not?
I did.
So fast forward,
They're still on safari at that camp.
And all of the patrons are sitting there at their benches,
Having their late supper,
Their early supper.
When the ranger,
Who's been missing most of the afternoon to some concern,
Walks into the park,
Into the area where the tents and the stuff is,
And he walks in and he's shredded.
His clothes are shredded.
He's scratched.
He doesn't look too good.
They all rush up.
Oh my God,
Are you okay?
And he ignores them and walks right over to the woman.
And he said,
I don't understand.
I found myself in the exact same situation you did.
In fact,
To tell you the truth,
I put myself in it.
I wanted to see if what you told me was true would be true.
But when I said to the creatures,
Enough,
All it seemed to do was make them more angry.
And they attacked me.
I was lucky to get out of there with my life.
She looks at him and she's not smiling.
I understand.
He said,
What do you mean you understand?
What's the difference?
What did I do differently that you did that saved you and produced such a disastrous result in my life?
She said,
Well,
Do you want to know?
I want to know.
He said,
It's obvious to me,
She said.
He said,
What is?
She said,
Well,
When you said enough,
You didn't mean it.
And clearly the creatures understand the difference between words and strength.
And so seeing your weakness,
Sensing it,
They just took advantage of it.
Learning to say enough to your own mind,
To your own psychological structure,
That spews out endless thoughts and feelings in order to resolve endless thinking requires a certain,
And I'm going to use these words ever so carefully,
Requires two steps,
Two steps.
We're going to look at these steps,
But I want you to understand that the steps I'm going to describe is not the same thing as being able to say to that mountain move,
Not the same thing as being able to say to that tormenting thought about your past or your rampant fear of the future.
It's not the same as being able to immediately extricate yourself from that encircling,
Conflicted nature.
It requires more than that.
So first,
These two steps are in a certain sense,
A single stride.
They are intimately connected to one another.
If you have one without the other,
You have nothing.
And the first step to use words is inherently inseparable from the material that we look at and study together.
It requires a new kind of mental realization,
A bit of what Christ called metanoia,
A new way of thinking,
A new mind,
A new way of seeing one's own thoughts.
And then out of that new understanding comes the resolution to live from that understanding.
So first we need a new understanding,
Which is what we're working toward here.
How does one say enough and have it have the effect that one desires?
And where does one get the resolution to even try that,
Let alone experiment and learn the truth of it?
So let me put up here a second key lesson.
I hope that I've done it properly.
I'm going to paste it.
Oh,
Yeah.
Oh,
What?
No.
I don't know how to post in my own chat box.
Can any of you see?
We are not.
That's not going to be it.
Okay.
Let me read it to you.
Perhaps Claudia or Kate,
If she's joined us,
Can type this quickly enough.
Here is the important key lesson regarding the first stage,
This new understanding.
We are not meant to serve our own thoughts any more than a farmer is meant to be yoked to his own oxen and made to pull the plow that readies the field for planting.
Let me read it again with emphasis.
We are not meant to serve our own thoughts any more than a farmer is meant to be yoked by his own oxen and made to pull the plow that readies the field for planting.
We are yoked.
We are driven by our own thoughts.
But most of the time,
We have no awareness of the actual torment in being driven because the same thoughts that are lashing us to come to some conclusion or resolution are promising that if we will be yoked to their nature,
To what they tell us is true.
If we'll just agree to it,
Then we will realize at some point becoming another person,
Becoming someone who can change things.
And like Buddha said it,
Like Christ said,
Like every true teacher that's ever walked the planet,
They don't tell you think this way or think that way.
They all express with great adamancy.
You're not meant to serve your thoughts.
You're not meant to be yoked to a level of consciousness that's in constant conflict because it believes its thoughts about an event are the event it's thinking about.
They are not.
And it is as we awaken to see this virtually endless struggle.
Can you see it or not?
Constantly thinking about something that's bothering me.
Constantly in thought about what I want and how to get it.
Constantly reliving in thought memories.
Relentless is the right word,
But we don't know they are relentless because we live in a silent agreement to derive our identity from to derive our identity from their punishing presence.
So we must understand that this attempt to escape the struggle born of this unrest is actually a self-induced experience of talking to ourselves about how we can come to an end of our own thinking.
Imagine for a moment,
Try to see it.
I spend time in thought identified with the movement of it because of its promise to escape the pain or bring new pleasure.
Believing that spending time in the world of thought is going to bring an end to the inevitable end that thought proves itself powerless to do anything other than to promise and then punish.
This is why again the Buddha said the more,
How do you say,
Mind he said is a beautiful servant but a dangerous master.
Mind is a beautiful servant but a dangerous master.
And we are mastered presently by our own thinking.
It calls us.
You wake up in the morning,
Think about this,
Worry about that,
Try to,
What am I going to do today?
How am I going to get through all of the things that I have to get through today?
And what are you experiencing in the moment when you feel that kind of anxiety?
I'll tell you what you're experiencing.
What you are experiencing in that moment is not a list of things to do but a mind that loves to have more than it can deal with so that it can feel the stress and strain of,
Well how,
Maybe I can succeed and then I'll be great or I won't succeed and that'll prove that there's greatness in me that's yet to be fulfilled.
You have to see this for yourself.
Mind is a beautiful servant but a dangerous master.
And the more we realize that this is true,
The more we recognize the fact as much as thought this nature does not want this.
The more we understand I'm driving in my car,
I'm not in my car,
I'm not in my car,
I'm not in my car.
The more we understand I'm driving in my car,
I'm not in my car,
I'm thinking about where I'm going or where I've been,
About what I need,
What I don't have.
I'm sitting with my wife,
My husband,
My children.
I'm eating my dinner.
I'm thinking.
My mind is reacting to every impression that comes into it and I believe that the reaction to the impressions prove that whatever it is that has been impressed by that comment that then feels the fear or tries to make a change in what is experienced.
Believe somehow or other if I can just think about this I'll get it,
I'll put it to rest.
It cannot and it never has.
So as we begin to suspect the truth of this and then pay the cost,
Work as best we understand that we must learn to be quietly observant of our thinking instead of the tormented servant of those thoughts.
As we work and gather the information through the impressions born of this new relationship,
Taking the yoke off of my back where it doesn't belong and placing it where it does belong which is placed by the master,
By the understanding that thoughts are meant to serve us not the other way around.
Then as we work to change this relationship which is difficult at first,
There's no question about it.
Then we begin to grow in this in a new kind of understanding for which there's no substitute.
I could talk to the cows come home.
Christ talked until he was crucified.
Every true master on this planet says the exact same thing and they're not saying the things that all of these false phony baloney psychopathic religious leaders and so-called gurus are telling you.
Think and it will happen for you.
I'll tell you what will happen.
The more you think the more you will sink into the illusion that that sense of self produced by desire as it manifests itself through thought is going to rescue you from the sense of being incomplete.
The sense of not knowing what to do with the disturbance other than to call on the very nature that created it.
That's called dead end and as we see where that dead end is it creates a natural turning in us.
I won't walk in the direction of the thought.
I won't take it.
I'll stop listening to it.
Not because I'm wise or strong and certainly not because I'm trying to be disciplined to not think.
Trying to not think is a form of thinking.
It is resistance to thought which simply strengthens the illusion that there's someone there who has finally thought the way through to the end of the path.
No such creature exists but the clarity of seeing the truth of what I'm describing that new understanding which is the first step and why you must have new self-knowledge preferably produced through your own immersion into your own consciousness and the observation of it.
So the first step is this new understanding and the second step as we awaken to see the futility of this trying to bring an end to the disturbance of thought by going into thought the second step is the action.
The second step is the exercise.
The second step is the practice of that understanding not just the knowledge but the actual act the act knowledge the acting on the knowledge which is what as you see the uselessness of this of the pain really and how when you don't know what to do with yourself your mind will give you something to think about and it will create something for you to do.
The second step begins as we yield ourselves to the light if you will of the truth that we have just been given to see about useless thought and in the light of the awareness of this useless thought comes what the silent shout the silent shout enough enough enough you will one day not as an act of resistance not because you imagine who and what you will be when you have the power to dismiss these snarling snapping hungry thoughts and feelings your power will be because you have brought into your life this living light this true master and you may or may not say the word enough and I would pray that you don't say it out loud particularly if you're in the company of people you know you're you're sitting at a dinner table with friends or family and your mind's tormenting you don't say enough out loud you're not trying to control the condition you're changing your relationship to it by bringing into it the awareness of the truth of that moment and that light that truth is what sets you free and it says enough for you you may have to start practicing this idea enough but then you have to understand what happened with the safari ranger who said I get it enough and then what happened to him what did she say you didn't mean it you see you have you have to actually mean what you say say what you mean and mean what you say and what are you saying I will have no further relationship with any tormenting anxious fearful negative thought period I don't care what it says is is going to happen I don't care what it says has happened I don't care what it threatens me with I don't care what it promises me I have seen the truth of these thoughts and the truth is that they belong to an unconscious nature that derives its sense of self at the cost of my own as it drags me into a kind of willing identification with its processing enough oh wow again you may or may not say it but as you work to see the truth of what we're describing here in this time together the word enough will formulate itself in your own parts you you will be yes you will be permeated with not just a wish but a will to begin the process of meaning enough is enough that doesn't mean when you say it the creatures are going to disappear are going to disappear the for the longest time believe me when I tell you this but you must see it you will discover that of myself as I am and me wishing not to be in pain wanting to get rid of that sorrow or that regret I say enough and I don't understand yet that I'm still resisting my own thinking and resistance to thought produces nothing other than more thought other than more resistance proof thought that's just what it does where's my attention when I don't want a thought other than on the thought I don't want where is my attention on a thought I don't want other than on the thought I don't want and you have to see that because as you see that you realize well what in the name of God is giving my attention to something I don't want so that the result is to continue to be disturbed wait a minute it isn't I it isn't I who is doing this thinking it is a legion of eyes each and all in conflict not just with themselves but with all the conditions that bring up their reactive nature and you will you will increasingly be visited by to use the words a new master a new master whose light of authority cannot be challenged you must work at this here is the last key lesson I wrote it just before when you end your involvement in painful thinking painful thinking ends its interference in your life when you end your involvement in painful thinking painful thinking ends its interference in your life you must prove that and part of proving that requires you realizing your presently powerless state you're like the ranger who believes he can say move be gone get away and things will do that because you can imagine a time when you won't be encircled by those painful thoughts but the more you act from thought to resolve thought the more identified and ensnared you are by that dark master that unconscious mind mind is a beautiful servant but a dangerous master say what you mean and then mean what you say and then dare dare you will have to dare I'm going to talk about this tomorrow join me tomorrow if you can for my Sunday talk find me on the net I talk three times a week for free nothing to join you're going to have to dare what happens when you mean it because when you really mean it you are suddenly going to feel alone and empty but that feeling of being alone and empty is in fact the condition that invokes and brings into you a new kind of understanding you are filled with a new relationship with life because you have dared to say enough we have a couple minutes we can go to 42 uh if you want if anybody has any questions or comments anything you'd like me to address briefly again I do I talk about all these things endlessly join me you can ask questions tomorrow in person if you want whatever whatever I wish this for you but you must yourself do more than wish you must work you must find out whether or not you have been given the authority to be the master of your own mind instead of letting your mind master you by its promises and temptations and threats thought tells me to be without thought tells me to be without it is terrifying to be without thought tells me to be without it is terrifying alone and empty as you said yes that's why you have to find out you have to you have to stay there you have to say enough and mean it long enough for you to see the result of you in in being newly engaged in that way you will have a new impression Tracy a new impression a new insight a new bit of light what keeps us engaged with this dark master oh yeah of course uh Todd how long did it take you guy I hope you'll take this in the right spirit it's told you it's unending Todd you have an unending authority that you are meant to participate in a relationship with with and that perfect strength proves itself every time that we are ensnared and circled by the weakness of this unconscious nature it is a ceaseless blending a marriage that we are meant to be a participant in and each and every one of these moments of marriage we exit as the bridegroom the bride and the new conception there's no end to discovery Todd and this is something we have to do over and over again correct see the question begs this idea that this is something that okay now I'm going to discipline myself like this you will want to engage these moments from a new understanding of them when you see and realize without doubt that your present understanding and the thinking that produces it is useless powerless and truly the source of your pain as you see that you won't have to think do I have to do this how long do I have to do this I'm always asked that how long do you have to do this when you understand the beauty of realizing as Christ as what Saint Paul in my weaknesses thy strength made perfect when you get that when you understand the relationship between this emptiness and the innate fullness that comes to fill it you won't ask what do I do you will want to engage that way I hope I see you tomorrow what's the exercise God I'm in pain I didn't even know I was in pain I'm sitting on the edge of my bed my mind is driving me crazy I'm worried about what he's going to say what's going to happen and you you catch that unrest and instead of trying to find rest in thought the thoughts that are producing that disturbance you learn to silently say enough and you mean it then you observe yourself you become the witness of these thoughts instead of the the the servant yoked by them
