Personal Responsibility Part 2 -LL&L W Glenn Ambrose

This is a big one peeps! So much so that I had to do 2 parts. It's very easy to stay stuck, suffering and not addressing the problems we have in life. A large part of this is the social conditioning and catch phrases that have become common place in society. We must take responsibility for our lives in order to be happy. 2 parts diving deeply into this topic.

Transcript

Welcome to Life, Lessons & Laughter with your host, Glenn Ambrose. Hey everybody, I'm back with part two. Okay, So. We're talking about personal responsibility. If you haven't watched part one, Please do so. Yes, I think it lays out the big picture and the groundwork for this. So I'm just going to start with reading through some of the things that people hand over their power. They hand over their personal responsibility for their life in some of these ways. And these are things that you probably hear on a daily basis that we just accepted in society as having some level of truth to them, Which they don't. Um. . . I can't leave my job because I need the money. My boss stresses me out. I have an anxiety disorder. They made me angry. I can't say no because they'll get upset. I don't have time to exercise. I'm just not motivated. My past is holding me back. That's just the way I am. Oh, I love that one. It's just the way I am. That's a great way to just shun personal responsibility. Um. . . I can't be happy until things change. My partner is the reason I'm unhappy. I don't have a choice. I'm waiting for the right. I'm waiting for the right time. That one kills me. I keep attracting the wrong people. Social media makes me feel bad about myself. None of these things are true. I think, You know, There was one, What was it? Like I'm just not motivated. I, You know, Ironically, Most people would probably think that. That one would irritate me more than some of the others. And it actually irritates me less because there's almost an opening for a solution there. You know, Like if most people say, I'm just not motivated. A lot of times, You know, Now don't get me wrong. Some people mean it, That they're not motivated and there's nothing they can do about it. One sec, This light. I think that's better. You know, So sometimes when people say I'm not motivated, They just kind of mean. Ever. It's not who I am. I'm just not a motivated type person ever. And that's just as bad as the rest of these. But a lot of times when people say, I'm just not motivated, They just mean that they're not motivated at that particular time. Right? They don't they don't look at it as a life sentence. They don't look at it like there's nothing that they can do about it. Usually they're just like, Well, I need to find some motivation. I'm just not motivated now. It's like, Oh, Okay. I understand that. You know, I'm just not really feeling motivated. Oh, Okay. Sometimes the time isn't right, Or if it's something that you really want to do, We need to look and find the motivation, Gain clarity on your motivation. You know, So there's solutions to that as long as it's not a life sentence. Oh, I'm just not, I'm just not one of those people that just isn't motivated. Like God doesn't make lazy people. He wasn't up there going like he makes people with different motivation levels. But if there's something that's going to make your life happier and more pleasurable. Then you're supposed to be experiencing it. You're not supposed to sit there and go, Boy, Life would be really good if I did that. That'd make me really happy, But I just can't because I'm not motivated. God left out the motivation piece. He doesn't do that. So. You know, You see a lot of these things, You know, Oh, My job is stressful. Jobs aren't stressful. There's no. You can't get a stressful job. There are no jobs that include stress because stress isn't a thing that's outside of you that somebody can give you. Like nobody like somebody can't say like when I was a personal trainer, They can't say like, OK, Well, Your job duties include. You know, Training people and, Um, You know, Trying to make them healthier and creating programs for them and motivating them. And, Uh, In exchange for that, We're going to give you a certain amount of money and a certain amount of stress. And I go, Oh, Okay, So is it 20% stress that I'm gonna get? 80% money, What's the ratio? I got to figure this out if I want to know if I want to take the job. It's like, Because I don't take anything that gives me more than a 30% stress level. Stress is the result of not processing your, If it comes, You know, If you're talking about in a job situation, Stress is the inability to process what transpires on a daily basis in your job in a healthy way. That's what causes the stress, Your inability to process. The things that are happening at your job. In a healthy way is what causes stress. There are no stressful jobs. There are people on this planet that thrive in fast paced scenarios that love high pressure things. Look at athletes. I mean, You know, Like some people look at it and go, Oh, Well, The athletes don't count because they're just having fun. Like the amount of pressure that is on them to perform. Is through the roof. If they don't perform, They're gone. That's constant pressure and most people would love to be a. A professional athlete for a living. You know, Like it's performers, But you know, Let's, Let's bring most of us aren't in those positions. So let's bring it to something more people can relate to maybe like a doctor, Like there are doctors that love their job. And I would like I would venture to say I don't know a heck of a lot about. Being a doctor per se, Because I'm not one. But I would venture to say that being an ER doctor is probably more stressful than being a family practitioner with people coming in with appointments, Right? Just makes sense. So most likely that's the case. So like there are people who love being emergency room doctors. Now, We can handle certain levels of stress. We don't have to handle absolutely everything perfectly. You know, But there are certain ER doctors that thrive in those scenarios. It makes them feel alive. They love it. They're doing important work and it's, You know, They love their job. And then there are other ER doctors that don't like that pace, That do not thrive in that environment. And they should not be our room doctors. You know, That's the other thing. A lot of times we're doing things that we shouldn't be doing and they cause stress and we're like, It's out of my control. It's like, Well, You shouldn't be doing it. Like, If every time like, You know, That job that I told you, I shouldn't like, I spent a lot of time meditating, Working on my mindset, Trying to be in control of my own happiness, And I was still having panic attacks. So you know what, I shouldn't be at that job. The solution was finally leaving it. As long as I was there, There was going to be. . . A certain level of stress because I was doing something that I didn't like. I was working for somebody that didn't like me and didn't like how I was doing my job and was constantly trying to put more pressure on me. See, I can't even say that he was putting more pressure on me. I can say he was trying to put more pressure on me because I'm not going to allow somebody else to put pressure on me. That's my personal responsibility. Nobody can put pressure on me. Somebody can say, Glenn, You should do this. That doesn't mean that I feel pressure. Somebody says, Glenn, You should be doing this. And then something in my brain goes, Yeah, They're right. I should be doing it. Then I feel pressure. When I agree, When something inside of my head agrees with what they say, And I try to accomplish something that's outside of my capability, I experience stress. So there are certain situations where you need to get out of your job. Well, I can't just leave my job. I didn't say just leave your job. You know, This is how our mind keeps us stuck. We push away our personal responsibility by making excuses. Well, I can't just leave my job. No kidding. Of course you can't leave your job. You have responsibilities to yourself, To your family. Who said you should just leave your job? That's the only possibility. If you're doing a job that you don't like, That's causing stress that you need to get out of, The only possibilities are that you stay there until you die. Or you abandon your family and curl up in a ball and live on a sidewalk, That's the only two options. There's no other options in between there. That's how we act. Your ego generalizes. It jumps to the extreme to try to keep you stuck. Don't listen to it. My God, Take some personal responsibility. Be realistic with yourself. Stop giving me short answers. Well, I can't just quit. Like that. That. That's absurd. It's absurd to me that people live their lives like that. So. I get offended. It's, We have to take responsibility for our lives. If it takes you five years to leave your job, It's worth it. You know, This is what often what people do, Especially when it comes to careers. Or jobs at a specific location within their career. It's probably that and relationships are the two things that people stay stuck in the longest and they do it for zero reason. They do it because of things like this. They go, Well, I can't just. And it's like, It's amazing, You know, Like I think deeply about just about everything. So it's weird to me that people can stay in a situation that they dislike for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, They'll stay in the same situation that they dislike. And their reasoning is because I can't just leave. Like that's it, You just get to, I can't just leave and you stop. That's as far as you've thought about this. You've dedicated 40 years of your life, 50, Half of your life you've dedicated to your own misery. And you're not even willing to think for 30 seconds about it? You will piss away 50 years of your life. And you won't even think about it logically for 60 seconds? To see if there might be a way. Cause that's really all it takes. Like, We're not doing this because people are stupid. Everybody thinks people are stupid because there's evidence that people are stupid everywhere. And this is one of them. It like at first glance, It's like, You gotta be out of your mind. You must be stupid. You must be incapable of thinking. No, That's not the truth. It's just people don't look deeper than that. We don't think deeply about anything. We go, Oh, They did something foolish. They must be foolish. It's like, Well, Maybe there's another reason. Maybe they don't know that they can get out. They've never thought of it. Oh, Yeah, Maybe, You know, Because every time I have a conversation with somebody, I find out that they're not stupid. Most people, You know, I think intelligence is Very misunderstood. Because I've probably met a handful of people where after having a conversation with them, I was like, Wow, Like they they kind of are basically a normal person living a normal life. But their intelligence level is really low. Like you really like they're just. They have to simplify every area of their life and just not try to do anything outside of that box because they're just so intellectually lower than the norm, That that's all they can do. Like I've met a handful of people and it's no judgment on them. There's nothing wrong with them. As a matter of fact, I love those people. Like those people are usually the more grounded and they're usually happier because they're not overthinking everything. So I love those people, But there's very few of them. And then there's a few people who are so intellectually intelligent that I'm like, Damn, The way that person's mind works is insanely intelligent. Very few, About the same amount of people that are extremely unintelligent. And then 90% of people are, You know, It's like 5% and 5%. 90% of people oscillate in between, You know, Basically intelligent to you know, More intelligent. But there's not much difference in between them. It's just that we're not using our intelligence on a daily basis. You know, So we go, Well, I can't just leave my job. Right, Okay. What are the options? Well, I always wanted to do this, But I'd have to go through school and it's a two year degree and I'd have to go part time. So that would probably take four to five years. Taking nighttime classes online. Okay, Well, Why don't you do that? It's like, Well, I'm not, You know, I don't even know if it's going to work out. I can't, I'm not going to waste. I'm not going to waste all that time. For what? To have a shot at happiness? Doing what you enjoy, Walking towards your dreams is a waste of time, But sitting there watching TV every night isn't? How do you figure? You know, That's the other thing that they say, Well, You know, I don't know if it's going to work out, So I'm not going to waste my time. I don't want to waste my time. Like. You know, People date and they don't find the love of their life and they're like, Well, I'm sick of wasting my time. Like looking for the love of your life is a waste of time, But sitting on your ass on the couch, Feeling lonely and not leaving your house and not socializing with anybody isn't a waste of your time. Like, We don't, We got to think these things through. They literally do not make sense, People. So when, If you're, If you're going to leave a job, Work on another, Like, And sometimes it's like, Well, I don't like, See, Most people come to me and they go, I don't like my job or I don't like my relationship. So it's usually one of those two things, Because those are the two biggest areas of our lives for most people. And usually when they come to me, It's spilled into multiple areas of their life. So it's not always just one, But. Is like, When you I just lost my train of thought. Skipping around this morning. So let me see if I can get it back. I know I was talking about jobs. So if you don't like your job, And you're trying to change. Your job. Oh, That's what I was going to say. Okay. When people come, They go, I don't like my job. And, And I go, Oh, Okay. And they go, Yeah, I'm just, You know, I want to leave or I don't see, I could be happy there or something. I don't like my job. And so the first thing I do is find out why they don't like their job or what about their job that they don't like, Because then you can figure out what needs to change. And most people don't even do that. They're just like, Oh, I don't like my job. I go, So what do you not like about your job? And they go, Everything. I hate everything about my job. Oh, Okay, So you hate the commute. Well, No, The commute's good. It's only 10 minutes from my house. I go, So you like the commute. Okay, So. You hate your boss. Well, No, I like my boss. Like I just don't like the coworkers. Oh, OK. So you hate what you do on a daily basis. Well, No, I generally like what I do on a daily basis. It's like, Oh, So you. So you just don't like your coworkers. You're having trouble with your coworkers. But you like your commute, You like what you do on a daily basis, And you like your boss. And they're like. Oh my, Yeah, I guess you're right. Oh, So you just need to work on your relationships with coworkers. See if you can fix them. You know, Sometimes people or, You know, So if you don't like So you don't need a new job. You need to work on your relationships within that job, Most likely. Most likely. If you can't get along with most coworkers, Then that means usually the problem's with you. There's usually a way to make it through a workday. I've worked at all kinds of places and there were some people that I liked and some people I didn't like, But I was capable of focusing on my job and doing my job. That's why I'm there. I'm not there to interact with everybody else. Some jobs vary, You know, Let's be fair. Some jobs vary, But I'm just talking out percentage wise. Usually you can work through that, Especially if you like your commute, You like your pay, You like your boss, You like what you do on a daily basis, Usually there's enough there where it's worth staying and you can work on the relationships. Sometimes it's sometimes you got to leave, But whatever. So but if you my point is, Is you isolate what the problem is, And then you work on fixing it. And if you decide that you need to leave this job, OK, So you start working on leaving this job and people generalize all the time in ridiculous ways. They go, Well, There's no other you know, It's the the job market is tough right now. Do you know how many times I've gotten hired at jobs when the job market was low? I can't count. You know, I can't even count how many jobs I've had being an alcoholic for 20 years. And that's the other thing. Like I was an alcoholic. I was literally going to job interviews. Drinking in the parking lot and then walking into a job interview. So my nerves wouldn't be all shot. And I was still landing jobs when. Uh, You know, At times when the economy sucked, You know, So, You know, And the, The other thing people like, Oh, Well, You know, I, Uh, Like one bedroom, I need a one bedroom apartment. Now, Right now, This isn't as good of an example as it used to be 10, 15, 20 years ago. Because one bedroom apartments are ridiculous, Right? Financially, Right? But if you can afford one, You know, I've had a lot of people say, Well, They, You know, They can't move, They can't move into their own place because, You know, And I go, Oh, Why? And they go, Well, There's not that many one bedrooms. So how many do you need? Well, Just one. So you only need one, One bedroom apartment. You don't need 30. No, I just need one. Oh, OK, Then. Is. . . There's not. It's always makes me laugh. It really does. There's, I can't find a place to live. I can't find a one bedroom because there's not many. That makes zero sense and people will stay into their house for. Stay where they are for decades in a scenario that they don't like because there's not many one bedrooms. When that doesn't make any sense at all. Like, You know, Most people I'm like in your city, Would you say that there's probably, I don't know, At least maybe 50 one-bedroom apartments available in your city. Like in your whole city, There's at least maybe 50 of them, Maybe 30, There's at least 30 of them available out there somewhere in your city. Well, Yeah, I mean, Probably, You know, Vacant apartments is probably. Hundreds, If not thousands of them in my city. So there's got to be at least, You know, 30. One bedrooms out of all those hundreds or thousands of empty apartments. So there's, Yeah, There's probably at least 30. Okay, Well, How many do you need? One, Okay, Well then go get one of those 30. There doesn't need to be 14, 001 bedrooms available for you to get one. If there's 30, You can get one. If there's 14, 000, You can get one. If there's 62 million, You can get one. If there's three, You can get one. We don't like, This is how we hand our power away. We just don't take any personal responsibility. We don't look for solutions. We just sit there and accept these ridiculous sayings that are socially acceptable, And they just keep us stuck. And we just act like it's It's the final say, Well, There's not many one bedroom apartments in my city. Like that's a thing. Like, Oh, Like I'm supposed to go, Oh, Well then, Yeah, You have no choice. You have to stay stuck where you are. Because that's what most people do. This is what we do. We're in this culture where it doesn't matter if anything that anybody says makes sense or whether it doesn't make sense. We're all trying to be good people, Right? And we don't know how to be good people yet. We're still trying to learn. So what happens is we think supportive feels good. Being a supportive friend. That's who I want to be. I want to be a good person. So I'm going to support my friends. So they say, Hi, I'm a victim and my life sucks and it's not my fault and I can't change anything. And we go, Yes, I understand you poor thing. See, I'm such a good person, I was there for them. You helped them stay stuck. That's not a good friend. This is why only certain people can hang out with me on a regular basis. And if somebody doesn't want my input, I can adapt to that. Like some friends that I see on a regular basis that don't think the way that I think and don't have any interest in changing their lives. Like I'll learn. I try to pick up on it. I try not to give advice when people don't want it. And if somebody tells me, Then I, Then I will honor that. I'll respect them. Right. So a lot of times people be like, You know, They'll ask me something casually and I'll just kind of look at them and I'll be like, Do you really want my input on this? And sometimes, You know, If they know me, They stop because they just kind of asked habitually, You know, Because they get support from everybody. So really what they're looking for me is to support. Their stance. And if I disagree with it, I'm not going to. So they're like, So I go, Do you really want my input on that? And they'll all of a sudden it snaps them out of their unconsciousness. And they go. Oh, Wait, Glenn's gonna give me the straight and narrow like he's gonna. Never mind. No, No, I don't. And sometimes they'll literally say it. They'll be like, No, Actually, Never mind. My bad. No, I don't. I don't want your input, Glenn. And I'll be like, OK, Cool. We just dodged a bullet. I have no problem keeping my opinions to myself when somebody tells me they want me to do that. I'm like, OK, Cool. You're good. I'm good. Let's just watch the football game. You know, Like. But if somebody says, Yes, I do want your opinion. It's like, Okay, Well, This is how I see it. You're not a victim. There are things you can do to get out of your current situation. Start small. Start researching jobs in your area. Start researching apartments in your area. You don't need to do it tomorrow. Just because you don't like your job, If it takes you If you're 30 years old and you're at a job you don't like, And you're not going to retire until you're 65, That's 35 years. If it takes you 20 years to find a new job, That you like better. You just gave yourself 15 years of happiness. 15 years of doing something you enjoy. And it took you 20 years to get there. I don't care if it takes you a hundred years to get there. At least you're walking towards it. And you might, Even if I would rather, I would rather do something that, What am I 57? Let's say I live until I'm 107 years old. If there was something that I thought would make me happy and fulfilled, And it was something I yearned for and really desired, And it was going to take me another 49 years to achieve it, I would still go after it. Because I would spend those 49 years walking towards, Which would include participating in some way, Shape or form in the creation of something that I actually enjoy and want. So that's not a waste of time. And then I would get one year to actually do it right before I kicked off. I would rather spend 49 years trying to do something and then doing it for one year. Than to do something that I don't like for 50 years. Right? Slow down and look at this stuff. Think it through. Don't accept these knee-jerk reactions. Well, There's nothing I can do. Can't just quit my job. No, But you can, You know, I bet you if you worked on it. Like one hour a day. Five days a week. Within a year, You'd probably find something new. That's more to your liking. Wow, That seems like a lot of work. Yeah, Pissing away your life doesn't. Doing stuff you don't like. You know, This is what keeps us stuck. This is what keeps us not reaching out. You know, Like I mentioned a little while ago, Like very few people have come to the Dominican Republic to visit me. Do you like do you know how many people said that they want to? Countless. Hundreds, Maybe thousands of people since I moved here in the last five and a half years have said that they would love to come to the Dominican Republic. And I think, You know, I had family here once, Of course, My son was here. And then I had. . . One friend, One client. I think that's it. I think I had one friend, One client. My parents and my aunt and my cousin. All in one trip. And my son. Came to visit once and then he came over and lived here for a year with me. And I think that's it. So out of the hundreds, Possibly thousands of people, And I'm just talking about the people that I've heard tell me they wish they could come. They wanted to come. Right, Not all the people that thought it in their own head, Not all the people listening to my podcast that I don't have contact with that thought, Oh, I would love to go to the Dominican Republic. None of you have come. And I'm not saying all of you need to. I mean, Some of you have good reasons for not coming, Right? Let's be fair. I mean, But the majority of you don't. You know It cracks me up when I see these people with $500, 000 houses and even $350, 000 houses, Like nowadays $350, 000 houses. A pretty basic house, Right? And all these people, And they post on social media this picture of this little cabin in the woods, And they go, Oh, This is what I dream of, If I could only live there. It's like that that little cabin. In the woods costs 150 grand. Your house costs 350 grand. Why don't you sell your house and go move into this little cabin in the woods? That you want to be surrounded by nature. That's what you want. You want simplicity. You want it, But you want it's there for you to have it. It's completely within your capability and you won't go get it. Like this is, You know, Some of this type of stuff is, It's like, I see, I took so much responsibility for my life when I got sober. Like I was, I woke up and I was conscious and I was a blank slate. It's a gift. So I, You know, I'm not judging you guys. I know I get jacked up and say stuff passionately, Passionately and stuff, But you know, Ask any of my clients when you're working with me, I'm completely nonjudgmental. I just get passionate when I speak. I completely understand and meet people where they are. There's no judgment. I've pretty much been good at that my whole life. Naturally, I'm just a non-judgmental person. You know, Like I've had my difficulties. I've done more stupid things than you have. Trust me. So there's no room for me to judge. I don't think that I'm better than other people. I think I'm the same as everybody. Not only do I not think that I'm better than other people, But I don't think I'm worse than anybody. Like, I think I'm equal to everyone. I believe we are all equal in all ways. You know, We have variables in what we're good at and stuff, Natural abilities, But as beings, We are all completely equal. So that I. I don't want you guys to feel like I'm coming across this in a judgmental way just because I'm riding a train of thought and I'm passionate when I speak and I get all animated and all this stuff. It's not coming from a judgmental place. I get why you guys are doing it. My point is you don't have to do it anymore. You can think deeply, But I was a blank slate when I got sober. So I needed to learn ways of dealing with life and interacting with life. And since I didn't have, See, I didn't have my memory. I didn't, Well, I mean, I had a memory, But I didn't use it. I didn't have a history that I could, That I learned how to live life over a 35 year period. I didn't really learn any effective ways of living life for 35 years. So when I got sober and I woke up, Up spiritually, Now I'm a blank slate. So I chose consciously how to live. How to function in life. And a big part of that is thinking deeply about things, Asking myself, Is that true? You know, That's one of the best things you can do. Just get into the habit. Ask yourself, Is that true about every single thing that you think? Every time you think about it. When you're sitting there watching a commercial. And they say, You know, I was driving down the road one time many years ago in Rhode Island, And I remember I was listening to the radio, Which I didn't, Which I didn't do that often. But this commercial came on the radio and it said that they had a, It was advertising a pill for shift differential disorder. And I'm like, What, What is shift differential disorder? So what I found out is that it's for people who work swing shifts or, Or change jobs and change shifts at their job. I've worked swing shifts before, You know, You work seven to three for a certain period of time, Then you work three to 11, And then you work 11 to seven, And it's constantly changing. And I'll tell you, Man, That's hard. It's hard. But they, But I mean, There's, You need to adjust your sleep cycles. So generally how I did it was like, Okay, I'm working, Um, You know, 11 p. M. Until seven in the morning. Okay, Well, I'm not getting to bed until, You know, Nine in the morning, And then I'm sleeping half the day. It's like, Okay, Well, Now I'm working seven in the morning until three in the afternoon. Well, Obviously, I can't do that. So I have to readjust my sleep schedule. Well, I used to go two, Three, Four, Five days with getting very little sleep. You know, Maybe five hours, Maybe four hours, Maybe three hours, Maybe six hours, Whatever. And then eventually my top, My body would get so tired, Tired that I would just call. I'd be exhausted. And I would fall asleep at the right time and wake up at the right time. And then after a couple days of that, My body would be adjusted and you went about it. But now we're going to give you a pill. Like so in like slow think about things and so when you when when you come across something like it's. I'm going to dismiss the commercials for a minute. I'm going to come at it a different way. If you come across something in your life that you would like to accomplish or you think you would enjoy, And, You know, We think about it, Right? Like we go, Oh, I'd love to do that. Whoa. I'm kind of assuming here. Hopefully. If you see something that you would like to do, Hopefully your brain goes, Could I do that? If it doesn't, Maybe that's where you should start. Get into the habit of saying, What would it take for me to do that? And then think about it. You'd be amazed at how you can find ways of doing things that you want to do. People look at me and they think I've accomplished all these incredible things. God, Glenn, The way he lives his life, It's, Oh my God, Wow. Like it's this big profound thing. It's not. It's not like I. I haven't really done anything profound. You know, Like I was I was in this business space and I and and I didn't like living on a busy road and I wanted to get a dog and and I couldn't have one there and there was these motivating factors I just wasn't really. Happy. With living there and my business, I was doing things in my business that I wasn't really enjoying. So I was like, Instead of just staying in a place that I don't like, Not getting a dog, Continuing to do things in my business that I didn't like, Like I didn't want to be personal training anymore. And I was doing a ton of events and events. Basically, When you do events, It's not really about the event. It's about the event planning. That takes 90 percent of the work. The actual event itself is fine, But it's all the planning that goes into it. That's a pain in the butt for me. Some people like that stuff. I don't. So a lot of my business was personal training and it was events. And I didn't want to do those things anymore. So I put more energy towards my life coaching. And Reiki and things that I enjoyed more. My podcast, Things like that. So I put more energy into those. And then over about a year and a half period, I was still doing the events because I kind of needed to at that time. But my personal training, Whenever I lost a client, I didn't try going to get another one. I just kind of let it diminish. And I put my focus on building my life coaching. And after about a year and a half, My income went from 80% personal training and 20% everything else to 80% everything else and 20% personal training. To the point where I was like, I could. Get rid of the personal training. And the events. With just a couple more clients with life coaching. And then I could downsize and I wouldn't have to pay all this extra rent. And, And I can, What's helping me make that leap is because my rent will be less because I'm now I'm not paying for this business space that I need all the room to be big so I can do personal training and events. I'm not, I don't want to do those things. So I don't need all the room so I can move to a smaller space with less rent. So then I can earn less income. How did I figure this out? I just thought. And I didn't know I was going to be able to do it before I did it. I just started putting energy towards life coaching and not putting energy towards personal training. Why? Because I didn't want to do personal training. I wanted to do life coaching. So I just put more energy and starved what I didn't want and fed what I didn't want. And after about a year and a half, I was able to make that adjustment. And then I move, I find a place where everybody says there's no, You know, There's no houses that have business spaces or places where you can do businesses with separate entrances in this town that I lived in. I found one. And then I found another one and it was, And I didn't want to be on a busy area. I found one on, Uh, Like a seven acre horse farm where I was surrounded by nature, Where it was peaceful and quiet. And there was this beautiful pond across the street and like, It was just gorgeous. And I could have my dog and you know, Like, And people like, Oh my God, How did you do that? You're so amazing. It's like, I just attempted. That's all I'm not magic. When I wanted to find a new place to live that was in a quieter area, You know what I did? I did this mind-blowing thing. I went and looked for another place to live that was in a quieter area. How did I ever come up with that? Oh my God, I must be a genius. When I wanted to get a dog that could be around people, What I did is I went and looked for a dog that could be around people. And I got this amazing dog that could be around people. Oh my God, How did I accomplish that? My God, Glenn, You're such a genius. I came and visited the Dominican Republic. I was like, Wow, It would be cool living here. So you know what I did? I went. I wonder what I would need to do to live there. And I came up with some things. I have to make sure my son is okay. He's my priority. Oh, Wow, A little thumbs up just popped up on my screen because I did a thumbs up. That's cool. So that threw me. That was cool. See if that does it again. It does. I just did it again. Two thumbs up. Can I do two? Oh, I got fireworks. Can you guys see this? Let me know if you can see this. That's cool. I didn't know I had this on my thing. All right. So back to my story. So So yeah, So moving over to DR, I'm like, What would I have to do to accomplish that? Well, I'd have to make sure my son is all set. Hey, Son, How do you feel about me moving to DR? Oh, Yeah, You know, I was thinking like you could live here and then you have this job already working there. I mean, Are you comfortable with that? And my son was like, Yeah, Man, He was at perfect time where he was thriving on his independence. So he was like, Yeah, Go. I got this, Man. I love being independent. I live love living on my own. Go for it. I was like, OK, Cool. Now, Do I have a place to live that I can afford? Oh, My God. The rent is half price for something twice as Oh, Okay, So the bills are fine. I can work from anywhere. My income isn't going to shift because I work online. I just got to figure out how to get rid of my lease, Get out of my lease. Got to figure out how to get out of the lease of my vehicle. Oh, Okay. So I looked into it and what it all boiled down to, I don't know if my lease was up, I don't remember, Or I was able to get out of it. Um. . . But whatever, That worked itself out. And then my car was the only thing that was a problem because I had just signed a new lease before I came to visit the D. R. I had no intentions of moving over here, You know, So I had signed a new lease before I came over to the D. R. So now I had just entered a new lease and to get out of it, They were going to charge me like four grand. And I was like, Which I thought was ridiculous. I still think it's ridiculous, But they actually want to charge me more. They want me to pay off my entire three year lease plus a penalty. They wanted me to pay them like 20 grand or something to get out of my lease. I was like, Are you out of your mind? So I looked deeper. I didn't accept that. That's ridiculous. So I looked deeper and tried different avenues. Finally, I found a way to get out of it for four grand. I'm getting out of a lease for four grand is ridiculous. But I looked at it and I said, OK. I'm making the same amount of money, I'm cutting my bills in half. So I would make that four grand back in a couple months of living over in the DR because I spend less than that on my bills every month. So as much as I don't like the idea of paying them four grand to get out of my lease, It would be worth it for me to achieve what I want to achieve. You know, And some people like, No, I wouldn't do that because it's the principle. You know, Whenever somebody says it's the principle of the thing, That's usually the best way to stay stuck. Because you lock on to something and you won't try any of your variables, Even at your own detriment. Even at your own unhappiness. No, This is how I am. It's the principle of the thing. It's like, Oh, Okay, So you've decided that being right is more important than being happy. That's what that means. And in a lot of cases, Don't get me wrong, I have very strong principles. So just in most cases, And if you think about it, Honestly, You'll figure out which ones are which. You have this capability. You have the capability to think things through. My brain, I understand sometimes it works in unique ways, But most of it is just habitual. It's because I got consistent at looking into things and finding ways to do things instead of just taking these, Well, It's just the way it is. Well, I'm just unmotivated. Well, There's nothing I can do about it. Well, It's not that easy. I love that one. Oh, It's not that easy. You don't understand. Yeah, It's not that easy to move to Dominican Republic. It's not that easy to make sure your son's all set up. That did turn out easy, But it's not that easy to get out of your apartment lease. It's not that easy to get out of your car lease. It's not that easy to find like, What does that have to do with anything? It's not that easy. That's another thing that we tell ourselves. It's not that easy. Like that. Like that's the final word. That's what kills me is whenever people stay stuck, They say these generalized things like it's the last word. Like, Well, Glenn, It's just, It's not that easy, Glenn. I mean, Come on. Let's be realistic about that. It's not that easy. Oh, Really? OK. So it's not that easy. So what? What is easy? Staying in a life that you hate, That's easy. Doing things for 40 years that you dislike, That's easy. It's like I heard that in AA. There was this guy, Gentleman Jim down in Florida where I got sober in Sarasota and Um. . . He drove limo. So he would always show up to these meetings dressed up as a limo driver, You know, And, And, Uh, Dress really nicely and stuff, You know, And, Um, Real nice guy. And one day we were, We were standing in a circle. I don't know what we're doing, Maybe closing a meeting or something. And somebody, Sad. You know, Getting sober is hard. And you heard that a lot in the rooms and gentlemen, Jim did not speak very often. But he was wise. And when he did, People listened, Or at least I did. And, You know, He said, He's like, Excuse me. He's like, I don't, I'm not trying to be. Rude or make a problem or disagree with anybody or anything like that. He says, I just I just want to share a different perspective. I hear getting sober is hard all the times in this room. And he goes, I just don't see it that way. I just don't. He says, You know, Like I was an alcoholic for, You know, I forgot how long he said 40 years. And he said that was hard. Living as an alcoholic for 40 years was hard. He's like, Living sober and staying sober is easy. My life is way easier and better than it was when I was drinking. He's like, So it's just my perspective. I just and you guys can have your perspectives. But to me, Living sober is easy. And I was like, That's so true. You know, And most other things are like that too. We sit there and we're doing things, We're living our lives in a way that we don't like. And we go, Well, Change, It's just not easy. It's like, But living in existence that you don't like is you don't have any life force energy flowing through you. You're like, Uh, You know, Like you're, You're just walking through life like a robot, Like, Like the living dead. You're just not, But you don't have any joy. There's no spark in your eye. There's not you just got to do this and. Gotta get up and go to that job that I hate one more day. Yeah, That's how it is. It's just not that easy to change, You know? Like, Oh my, I couldn't imagine walking through life like that. Nothing is easy. Learning to walk wasn't easy. I don't understand why that's a thing. It's not easy, You know. So learning to drive a car is not easy. Learning to talk is not easy. Learning multiplications isn't easy. Learning to write isn't easy. Getting up and going to work every day is not easy. Raising children isn't easy. Going jogging isn't easy. Nothing is easy. So what does it's not easy have to do with anything? Why is that the final word? Changing jobs isn't easy. No, But it's worth it. Being a parent isn't easy. No, But it's worth it. Learning to drive isn't easy, No, But it's worth it. I mean, Eating takes energy. But it's worth it. You know, Like we got to think deeper. Don't let these. Socially acceptable. Memes control your life and make you feel okay about being less than yourself. Like you have no choice. You have nothing but choice, But you need to be responsible for yourself. You need to take the responsibility. You need to get it through your brain that your life is your responsibility. You were given one thing when you came onto this planet and that's your life and it's your responsibility. It's not anybody else's. There's not all these external forces that are making your life suck and not be what you wanted it to be. That's not how it works. Your life isn't the way you want it to be because you're allowing it to be the way you don't want it to be and acting like you have no choice. You do have a choice. It's your responsibility and it's nobody else's. Nobody's going to come in and fix your life and go, Oh, You know, Here, Guess what? I sold your house for you and bought you a little cabin on a lake. And I've got this moving truck and it's going to bring all your stuff there. All you got to do is get in the back of my car and I'll bring you over. Nobody's going to do that for you. And I know it sounds absurd, But this is kind of the way we think. If you follow it logically, Well, It's not that easy. So, Like, No, You're right. You're going to actually have to take action and do things to accomplish what you want in life. Yeah, Yeah, You're right. But the alternative is hating your life or living in stress all the time. It's not easy working through. Anxiety disorders. It's not easy learning to manage stress. It's not easy. No, It's not. But you can do it. And if you do it, The rewards are really beneficial and you would really like them. It's not easy getting sober. Going through that process, I think it's easy living sober. Getting sober was hard. But it's worth it. Everything worth having is hard. So don't act like I can't do it because it's hard, Because everything is hard. Sometimes taking a dump is hard. Do you not do it? All right, Peeps, I think that's going to I think that's going to do it. I think I made my point. But be responsible for your own life. Your life is responsible. You know, Your life is your responsibility, You know, And at the end of the untethered soul. Michael says something like, You know, When death comes. You know, What are you going to say? Oh, Give me. Give me one more week. It's like, Why? You had 52 of those last year alone. Well, I didn't know you were coming. Like, Of course you knew I was coming. Everybody knows that I'm coming. Well, I didn't take it that seriously. You didn't take it that seriously. Your life, You didn't take it that seriously. That's a hell of a thing to say about your life. Do you want to be laying on your deathbed and go, Well, I didn't really take that seriously? And I mean, Don't get me wrong, Take it seriously, Like shape it. I think you should have fun. A lot of times we take it too seriously and don't have any fun. That's not what I mean. I mean, Take it seriously enough to think about it. Go after what you want. Try to accomplish what you want. It's so much easier than you think it is. It's just leaning in the direction of and taking action when it arises. It's, You know, It's looking for a new apartment. It's looking for a new house. It's researching things for 15 minutes every once in a while, Instead of sitting there. Staring at the TV set. Like it's not that hard. But you need to be responsible for your own life. And part of that is understanding that your life is your responsibility. And the other part of that is understanding that those things that you take for granted, That you say so easily, Like, Well, It's not that easy, Glenn. Oh, There's not that many of those, So it's hard to find one. Or, Well, I don't even know where to begin. Or I'm not feeling motivated. Or I just can't seem to do it. All these things like. Like they're actual blocks. They're not. They're all illusions. They're just simply memes, These catchphrases that people say to help them stay stuck. They don't actually mean anything. It's literally an illusion. If you just start trying to do things, All of a sudden you start accomplishing things that you like. It's like, Oh, Wow. And everybody looks at you and goes, Oh, He must be lucky. It's like, No, I just walked in the direction of something I wanted instead of making excuses. That's all. All right, Peeps, That's going to do it. I hope this helps. Talk to you soon.