No Dream Crushing - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

The episode was sparked by a personal incident and I jumped on to record about following your dreams no matter what anyone says. People cannot possibly know what you're capable of or what the future holds.

Transcript

Welcome to Life Lessons and Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

Everybody.

What's happening?

Welcome to the podcast.

So today,

I'm not sure how this one's going to go.

It might be a short one,

Actually,

Ironically enough.

I think I've said that before and it didn't turn out to be.

So we'll see.

We'll see.

But yeah,

I just I just kind of decided to hop on,

Spur of the moment.

I had a I had an experience about an hour ago that I haven't had in quite a while.

And,

You know,

It it affected me momentarily in a way that,

You know,

It really made it stand out and and and look important,

You know.

So that's why I kind of wanted to hop on.

So I was I'm working on a on a very large project right now that I'm just starting with.

And I'm in the beginning of the beginning of the beginning of it.

So I'm just gathering information and and having quite honestly,

Having conversations with people that I don't know,

I don't know if they're the right people to have conversations with.

I don't even really know the right questions to ask most of the time because this is a new venture for me and I don't really know anything about what I'm doing.

So I'm gathering information stage.

So I'm just reaching out and and every once in a while I'll have a conversation where I'll come across some really useful information.

I'm like,

OK,

Here we go.

Sometimes I have conversations that don't really turn into anything.

That's just how it goes.

So I,

You know,

I was referred to somebody to speak with.

And.

As soon as I started speaking with them,

I kind of got a feeling that this person was very involved in a type of work.

Or the types of projects that I'm involved in.

So or that I want to be involved in.

So I'm like,

Oh,

Wow.

OK.

And and they had local ties.

I had heard their name before.

So I'm like,

OK,

Cool.

You know,

So I kind of got a little excited that I had come across somebody that was really in the sweet spot of the information that I was looking for.

And,

You know,

It was an initial conversation.

And I think it was less than five minutes.

We just exchanged general,

Very general information over five minutes.

And I was told by this person that I should not do.

What I'm planning on doing.

Basically,

I should I should give up.

The giving up weren't weren't the words used,

But.

But it was recommended that that I don't do what I want to do.

And you can probably tell.

It's hard for me to wrap my brain around somebody having the audacity to say that to me.

I guess specifically because I'm me,

But quite honestly to anyone.

It hasn't happened very often in my life,

I think.

Maybe because of my energy or who knows?

Or maybe it has and I haven't noticed noticed that.

But I remember years ago when I was when I was miserable at my my office job and I didn't know how to make the transition into my own business.

I knew I needed some level of income.

So I decided to get back into personal training,

Which I had done before.

And I figured it was going to be a better atmosphere for me.

I could set my own schedule.

You know,

I just thought that that would be a better move than this office job.

That was just horrible for me.

It was just not a match.

So I started I went around and I and I applied to all the different gyms within a certain radius of my house.

And my my resume was pretty extensive because of my past in personal training.

And basically I got offered the job at every gym that I applied to.

So I got to pick and choose where I wanted to work,

Except one.

There was this one high end gym and the person got on the phone with me and called me.

I guess I don't think I was able to speak with somebody when I went by,

Which is unusual for a gym.

That's one of the nice things about gyms.

You can usually talk to the owner or the manager just walking in,

Which is nice.

But I got on the phone and this person said that I wasn't going to.

Now,

I had been a personal trainer for,

I think,

Over 10 years already previously.

And they said that I wasn't going to do be able to get any good jobs or do anything substantial or worth pursuing unless I had this particular sort of certification,

Which was the eight.

What was it,

AC?

Whatever,

It doesn't matter.

ACSM,

I think it was.

Which is I was familiar with it,

You know,

It was it was it's a really good certification.

And I was just but I was amazed that she told me that,

Like,

It wasn't worth pursuing.

And like,

I had already had job offers and I and I kind of told her,

I was like,

You know,

I take offense to that.

Like,

Who are you to tell me that I shouldn't pursue personal training unless I have this one particular thing?

I lived off of it for 10 years already and I'm going to do it again.

And here you are telling me that I should just curl up in a ball and not do it because I don't have one particular certification.

So I kind of gave it to her a little bit and then we got off the phone.

And,

You know,

I still remember that because like I said,

Now that was.

I don't know,

12 years ago,

Maybe more,

But it's just rare for somebody to come out and say,

Hey,

Don't don't follow your dreams or I find it rare.

And it goes up my ass sideways,

Quite honestly,

Because I just like the arrogance level that people think that they have.

And I have you know,

I've I've had other people people do it.

But these were like the real standout ones.

I guess I guess I have had other people do it,

But it was in lower level ways that it was just so easy to dismiss them.

I don't remember the specifics.

But like there is so many different perspectives and there is so many different ways of accomplishing a task.

That's why I say it's arrogance,

Because like for you to tell somebody to give up on their dream,

Not to do something that they want to do implies that,

You know,

Every way to accomplish.

What they're trying to accomplish and you have enough information about them,

Who they are,

How they are,

Their ability to overcome obstacles and what the obstacles are.

And that they that any human being on the planet is incapable of overcoming those obstacles like that.

That's what you're implying by telling somebody to give up on their dream,

Not to pursue what they're going after is implying that you have the information necessary to make that assessment.

Right.

And so this person,

These two people that I mentioned in the podcast,

They thought that they're like they're looking at things from a tunnel vision,

You know,

And they could be gigantic experts in their field,

In the area.

And they may have spent 50 years cultivating the exact perfect way of accomplishing something and the very best way.

And they could have failed 150 times and then they found what actually worked.

But at some point they actually think they're in possession of all the information like it can only be done their way.

And anybody that wants to try it in a way other than that shouldn't even bother because they failed a bunch of times in other ways.

And now they know everything like you don't know everything.

Nobody found the the only way.

There is nothing on this planet that has one way of accomplishing nothing.

Nobody is in possession of that ever.

You know how many business professionals told me not to start my business?

I started my business collecting food stamps.

After just getting full custody of my son.

You know how many people told me that that I shouldn't do that?

Like,

Well,

Actually,

There wasn't that many people that told me I shouldn't do that.

But there were some there were if when I went to business professionals,

They were like,

You can't do that.

I was like,

OK,

So I can't go to business professionals because business professionals,

All they know is how to accomplish a task in their particular way.

So,

Like,

I can't they're they're not helpful to me.

Like,

I'm not going to take their opinion.

Like,

I'm not going to let them stop me because they're business professionals and they know 100 million times more than I do about business.

That deters me.

Zero.

Zero.

The fact that somebody knows 100 million times more information than I than I know about a particular thing.

Deters me zero.

Because it's not about information.

People are addicted to information.

We think information is so important.

It's not important.

Anybody can acquire information.

Anyone.

It's we're in an information age.

It's everywhere.

So the fact that you have spent a bunch of time.

Actually,

I did have somebody.

Somebody else said something like this to me.

Oh,

Just like last year or something.

They had acquired a bunch of information.

Oh,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

I know it's I was trying to figure out what project I wanted to do before I kind of settled in on the one that I'm going to do.

And they they were they were saying that they spent 40 years cultivating the right way to do things.

And if I didn't do it their way,

Then I shouldn't even bother doing it because they spent 40 years cultivating the right way.

Like,

No,

You cultivated one way.

That's what you cultivated.

You didn't cultivate the only way you cultivated one way.

Now,

If those people are open minded enough,

The business professionals that told me not to the.

Well,

I think that personal training one might be a joke,

But to use in this scenario,

I mean,

It's definitely a joke.

But the the the person,

You know,

That that told me that they acquired for,

You know,

Their company spent 40 years acquiring the way to do things.

And then this person I just talked to today,

Like those types of people are not in possession of the sole way of doing things.

If their minds were open,

They could actually be really helpful to me because they failed probably a bunch of times,

Too.

And they found things that succeeded.

And some of the things that they used to succeed,

I could probably duplicate some of that.

And then some of the things that they used to succeed,

I won't be able to duplicate.

I'll have to find another way.

But it's but I'll find a way.

And so this is why I'm open to talking to anybody.

I'm not trying to go reinvent the wheel.

I'm not going to if there's somebody that's open minded and helpful and can and can be of assistance and is willing and it can save me time from finding my own way.

Well,

Of course.

Yes.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate your help.

And and,

You know,

And there maybe there would be an exchange,

A money exchange or or whatever for their expertise.

So,

I mean,

I still think that that type of information can be helpful,

But it's not the end all be all.

So don't do it because it doesn't look like the way that I know how to do it.

Is.

Yeah,

It's downright offensive to me.

It's it's close minded.

It's negative.

And people like that,

Generally,

I find them to be usually fairly callous in the way that they treat people.

They're not thinking about what they're doing,

Is my point.

You know,

I'm sure they're very nice people.

I'm not like quite honestly,

The the I don't really know.

Even the woman with the personal training,

Like if if I kind of tune into the three people that I'm talking about right now,

I would have to say that I get the impression that they're on most levels.

They're probably good people.

They're involved in good things.

I think that they're probably very good people.

That's the impression I get,

But they're arrogant.

They think they're in possession of all the information,

Which they are not.

And they are not thinking about other people or how they're treating other people.

If somebody you know,

So this is one aspect that I want to touch on.

Please be a little bit more responsible with your words.

You know,

I get that,

Like,

Really,

The reason I'm going to succeed is because I'm not going to allow these people to to deter me.

OK,

Ultimately,

That's what we all have to be.

We all have to be in charge of our own dreams.

We can't let loose lipped people who aren't thinking about what they're saying deter us.

OK,

So,

You know,

I guess that's the first message.

But but another message is.

If you are an expert in your area,

Please,

Please slow down for a moment and realize that when somebody comes to you for advice about doing something in your area,

There's a good chance that this is their dream.

This is something that's very important to them.

You don't know if this is just a fleeting fancy that they have or this is a heartfelt desire.

It very well could be their heartfelt desire.

It very well could be.

For lack of a better way of phrasing this,

Their purpose of being here on Earth.

So don't look at them and tell them they can't do something.

You don't know if somebody can do something or if they can't do something.

You can tell them you can use your brain and your acquisition of knowledge and say,

If you know this is the best way that I found.

If you don't have these pieces,

I suggest you try to find them.

Or maybe even honestly,

I don't know how you could accomplish it by if you don't have this and this and this.

If you don't have this and this and this.

Personally,

I have no idea how you could accomplish what you're trying to accomplish.

Because that can be just honesty.

You don't know how they can accomplish it.

That doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

That doesn't mean that they should give up.

That doesn't mean that they should stop.

That means you are not in possession of the information that they need.

That's it.

So if you are an expert in an area,

Please keep that in mind so you don't squash people's dreams.

Like I said,

Sometimes it could be just somebody looking into something.

But sometimes this could be somebody's lifelong dream.

And you're going to crush it because you think you know everything?

Come on.

You know,

So be careful.

Just be careful of your wording.

If you are an expert in a particular area and people come to you.

You know,

Because your words can,

You know,

I mean,

Personally,

I'm not going to blame you if you do.

Like and say,

Oh,

My God,

It was your fault.

No,

Ultimately,

It's the person's fault.

The person has to rise above these loose-lipped people that aren't thinking what they're saying.

But public service announcement.

If you cannot be one of these loose-lipped people that crushes other people's dreams,

Maybe you should keep that into consideration and try not to be one of those.

But,

You know,

That's kind of like a side lesson.

Really,

The big thing is,

Is just don't let people do this to you.

You know,

We are the masters of our domain.

We are the masters of our fate.

We are the creators of our own reality.

Don't let anybody ever tell you you can't accomplish something.

Like I almost revert back to childhood.

Like I can't think of much worse than like mental and emotional abuse than to look at a child and tell them they can't do something.

Oh,

You'll never do that.

Huh?

You'll never like,

How do you know?

How do you know what they're capable of in the next 70 years?

You know,

So it's,

We have to,

You know,

It's like most things in life.

It's just we're moving too fast and people are going 90 miles an hour and they're not thinking.

And this is,

You know,

Why I'm doing this podcast is to try to slow down and really look at this under a microscope a little bit.

So,

So hopefully,

You know,

It can,

You know,

I think,

I think the message and we'll see if there's any more that come through.

But like,

I think the message is one,

If you're in an area of expertise,

Be careful how you treat people coming to you.

Because they might be more fragile than I,

And you might be crushing their dreams.

So please don't do that.

And then the other thing is like,

If anybody ever,

Ever,

Ever tells you,

You can't do something.

I mean,

Please do not listen.

You know,

I mean,

Some people,

Some people actually accomplish amazing things using that as fuel.

Like you said,

I'm not going to do it.

So I'm going to prove them wrong.

Personally,

I don't like that energy.

I've used it in the past.

I mean,

I used it regularly in the past.

I was a rebel.

So I mean,

That's what rebels do.

Right.

They rebel against society.

They rebel against what people are telling them they can or cannot do.

And they go do it anyway.

So,

I mean,

This is like hardwired into me.

I guess that's why it has so little effect on me.

I mean,

There wasn't a half a second that I thought when he was saying what he was saying,

There wasn't a half a second that went by that I felt deflated in any way.

I felt a little offended,

To be honest,

But I did not feel deflated.

I did not feel deterred even for a half a second.

And I think the wording was something like,

He said something about taking his advice or not taking his advice.

Something about him giving his advice being,

Maybe that's what it was,

His advice being don't do this or something.

And as soon as there was a pause,

Like after that sentence,

I just jumped right in and was like,

Well,

I can assure you that I definitely will not be taking your advice.

A hundred percent,

I definitely won't take your advice.

That was like the first thing that was out of my mouth because it was like,

My advice is don't do what you want to do,

Is my advice.

Okay,

So you just showed me who you were.

So the first thing I have to know about you is I don't want you,

Your energy,

Your type of thinking or anything that you might consider help involved in my project.

That's what I know.

I don't want that.

I don't want that type of energy around me.

I don't want that type of mentality around me.

To me,

And I'm thinking this person is pretty successful,

Which actually surprises me.

Well,

No,

I guess it's the arrogance that gets them there.

But it's,

I was going to say,

It's like,

How do they get there?

Like,

If they're successful,

That means they must have failed.

That's how you become successful,

By failure,

Like in learning and then getting better.

So if this person is successful,

Then they obviously failed.

So why would they think that I couldn't do something?

It's because of their arrogance.

It's because of after succeeding for a while,

They forgot what it was like to not know what you're doing and to try to figure it out.

And then somehow transferred that into thinking that they are the sole owner of the only way to know how to do things.

So that's why I call it arrogance is they're just locked in and they think they know everything.

So and they forgot where they came from.

All right.

Because like I said,

I mean,

If they succeeded,

They failed.

So they had to find a way.

They went about doing something in a way and they either didn't know how to do it or they did it wrong.

And then they learned and then found another way.

That's the whole process.

That's why this is so comical to me.

I think I'm laughing during this more than most because it's literally comical.

It's comical for somebody to think that they have enough information.

And this was literally a five minute phone call,

The max.

I think it might have been three or four minutes.

And this person thought they had enough information and they had never met me before,

But they had enough information to go.

No.

You shouldn't do that.

Oh,

My God.

Like,

Wow.

Seriously.

It doesn't even make sense.

Like,

How could you possibly have enough?

Because one little thing that I told you didn't align with your model.

So therefore,

All bets are off and it's a waste of time and energy.

How did you become successful if you give up that easy?

This is what I was going to say a minute ago.

If you give up that easy,

Like as soon as you see something that might be a hurdle,

You go,

No,

You might as well give up.

How did you ever become successful?

I guarantee you it wasn't through that mindset.

How did you accomplish?

Because I'm pretty sure,

Like I said,

That this person,

The business people that I know before,

The guy who was like CEO of this company I was talking to,

All these people.

I'm pretty sure this guy and those other people I know for a fact are highly successful.

And they forgot.

They literally forgot.

But like I said,

I just think we're moving too quickly so people don't slow down and think what they're doing or saying.

They just say stuff.

And unless they learn from it,

They'll continue doing it.

Maybe,

Hopefully,

I told him what I thought and I said,

I told him that I hope he learned from it.

Because I do.

I hope he learns from this.

He's not going to deter me,

But I don't like the idea of him talking to other people like that,

That he might deter.

But that's just me being a world police every once in a while.

He's going to do what he's going to do,

So whatever.

But like a project,

Whenever you're going to do something,

There's going to be failures.

There's going to be obstacles.

You can't give up because there's obstacles.

And everybody successful knows this.

Right?

Yes.

And they do.

They have life experience that proves this.

So this is why if you really break it down,

This is why I think it's just people moving too quickly,

Not thinking about what they're saying.

And boom,

Boom,

Boom.

So I'm hoping that this podcast can shine a light on this.

Because when people say this to you,

They have no idea what they're saying.

So not only should you just not let anybody,

Even if you think they know what they're saying,

Deter you from anything you want to accomplish.

Don't let them do that.

That's just ground rule.

Period.

But just don't.

Even if you don't understand why,

Just don't let them deter you.

But let's go in and try to understand the why.

It's because they don't know what they're saying.

In that moment,

They don't know what they're talking about.

Dynamically.

Now,

Like I said,

They could have all the knowledge in the world.

They could have done 350,

000 projects and be the premier person on the planet that does this particular thing.

And they still don't know what they're talking about if they tell you not to do it in the first five minutes.

Because they simply don't have enough information.

They don't know you.

They don't know your ability to learn.

They don't know your ability to overcome obstacles.

You don't know the connections that they have.

They don't know if this is your dream.

They don't know if this is your purpose.

They don't know what you're willing to do.

So how could they possibly say,

Don't do it?

Don't do it.

Like,

At least,

It literally makes zero sense.

They don't have the information to tell you that.

I don't care who they are.

They don't have the information to tell you that.

Therefore,

They shouldn't be telling you that.

They can say almost anything else in the world.

I don't see how it's going to work that way,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

But they cannot say that.

They cannot say you shouldn't do it.

So if anybody says you shouldn't do it,

They don't know what they're talking about.

Fact.

It's literally impossible for them to know what they're talking about.

Because they don't have the information to come to that conclusion.

They don't have the information necessary.

So that's why you don't pay attention.

They can be like,

Okay,

Well,

Okay,

You're not going to do it that way.

Oh,

Well,

Maybe I'm not the person to help you then,

Because that's the only way I know how to do it.

Oh,

Okay,

Thank you.

Or until you come to that hurdle,

Until you find a way around that hurdle,

I don't even think I could help you anymore,

Because that's the only way I know.

If you find a way to that hurdle or over that hurdle,

Come talk to me.

But yeah,

I can't help you with that one.

The only way I know around that hurdle is this way,

And you're not willing to do that.

But I can't help you where you are right now.

That's fine.

And the reason I'm giving examples of what they can say is because none of that is telling you to stop.

It's just them being human saying,

I don't know the other way.

As soon as somebody tells you to stop,

It's a red flag.

Not a red flag.

It's a 300 red flags with 32 red fireworks behind it going,

Don't listen to this person,

At least about that.

If they gave you some good information or have some good information for other things,

Then fine.

But don't listen to them about that,

Because it's impossible.

Unless they're God,

Which I'm pretty sure they're not,

They don't know what you can and cannot do.

So I guess I'll tune in.

And I guess this is going to be a short one,

Unless anything else pops up.

Yeah,

I guess that's it,

Really.

If you're going to go after your dreams,

Just go after your dreams,

Man.

I want to say it doesn't have to be that big of a deal.

Just go,

Just do,

Just keep doing,

Just keep taking action.

Even if you don't know what you're doing,

Keep taking action.

To me,

Pursuing a dream is the best use of time.

A lot of people give up on their dreams or don't follow their dreams because they can't figure out a way to see how it's all going to work.

So they'll be that person to themselves.

They're like,

Well,

I don't know.

I don't know how I'm going to do this,

So I'm just not even going to start because I can't see how it's going to work out.

That's not how life works,

Man.

Nobody knows how life works out.

We learn as we go,

And we become better versions of ourselves.

So when we're on step 10,

We're much more knowledgeable and much more capable versions of ourselves than we were at step 1.

So we've built knowledge.

We've built confidence.

We've built experience,

And that is the person that's taking step 10,

Not the person taking step 1.

So don't do this to yourself either.

Go after your dreams,

And if it doesn't work out,

It's not a waste of time.

It's you trying to better your life.

What would you rather do?

People sit around watching television all night,

Scrolling through Facebook,

And then they go,

No,

I'm not going to pursue a side hustle because I don't know how it's going to work out,

And it's going to be a waste of my time.

It's going to be a waste.

That's all you do is waste your time.

If you are not pursuing your dream,

You are wasting your time.

If you are either not living or pursuing your dream,

You are wasting time.

Pursuing a dream is never a waste of time,

Even if you never accomplish it.

It's the joy in a journey.

At least it gives you purpose.

At least you're walking towards something that makes you feel alive.

You'd rather sit in front of the TV and be like,

Oh,

I'm not going to waste my precious time chasing this dream that could make me feel fulfilled and joyous.

That's a waste of time.

I'm going to sit here and watch TV and scroll on Facebook.

Really,

My time is valuable.

I think that was it.

That was just the little cherry on top,

The little piece that I needed to add.

Go out there,

Man.

Do not let people drag you down.

Do not listen to negativity.

It's BS.

It's got no room.

It sure as heck doesn't have any room in my world.

Don't let people deter you.

Don't let yourself deter you.

Go out and start working on your dream,

Even if you don't know what it is.

Start playing around with what it might be.

Who cares?

It's a wonderful use of your time.

I hope that helps everybody.

That's going to do it for me tonight.

I hope you have a great,

Well,

This will air on a Monday,

So I hope you have a great evening.

Alright,

Peace.