Giving Our Power Away - Life, Lessons, & Laughter

In this episode, I'll discuss the different ways we give our power away in life. Of course I'll also dive into the solution and alternative ways to look at things as well as more empowering ways to act. Recorded live on 8-22-22

Transcript

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everybody.

Happy Monday.

How's everybody doing today?

Wonderful,

Lovely,

Delightful,

Delectable,

Delicious.

Say hi,

Pop on the comments please and say hello.

Let me know where you're watching from.

So let's see,

I'm just kind of checking.

Oh,

I see what happened.

Facebook changed some stuff so every once in a while it catches me.

So,

Alright,

I'm back to where I wanted to be.

I just,

I had posted something about tonight's topic on Facebook so I kind of wanted to keep that stream up for some topic,

You know,

Some examples to move forward through this.

Hey Lisa,

Miss you too.

Lisa's watching from Rhode Island so we got Rhode Island represented already.

So yeah,

Today,

You know,

This is,

This is a,

It's a big topic,

Man.

It's a big topic when you,

It's like a lot of things.

Once you start diving deeper,

Like,

Once you start diving deeper into the core of something,

What happens is you,

Like,

We start seeing that the things on the surface are symptoms and this is usually what catches people is they pay attention to the symptoms so that it looks like there's 300 problems but those are,

You know,

A lot of the problems have similar cores so this is a really good example of that.

We give our power away constantly in life and then we wonder why we feel powerless and we feel hopeless and we feel,

You know,

Like because we're constantly giving our power away.

So,

You know,

I'm gonna discuss that today and some of the,

Some of the examples of it so we can,

So we can understand,

You know,

How to,

I mean,

A lot of times we,

We can take our power back by shifting our perspective the way we're looking at the situation because the way that we're looking at it is disempowering and we have to learn to look at things in a more empowering way,

You know,

So a lot of it is perspective and then once we shift our perspective a lot of times we can act in different ways so we stop giving our power away in some of these situations where we actually do have control,

You know,

We do have control over how we react to situations,

What we allow from other people,

I think that's a big one.

We,

We have control over what we allow from other people and most people don't understand that and they don't implement it.

Hey Deanna,

Yeah I'm glad you were able to join too.

So,

You know,

Handing our power over,

It's,

And you know,

Just,

Just giving it away to other people is,

Is really a big deal.

It's,

You know,

We,

We do this in a lot of ways.

Yeah,

I was gonna go one avenue but I might end up going down a different one,

We'll see,

We'll see how the information flows.

Yeah,

So,

So just giving our power away and,

And about how other people treat us,

Like once we're,

We're looking at a situation like we don't have a choice and when we often do have choices,

Sometimes it's individually,

Sometimes it's a collectively and sometimes in most situations it's the individual adds up to the collective,

You know,

And this is what we're actually seeing a large change in this right now.

You know how,

You know how everybody's been complaining about the Millennials for the last 20 years and how entitled they are?

Like the way I've seen it is like,

You know,

I understand that,

That some of the younger generations,

In my opinion,

They have to draw a line,

Like they have a learning curve,

Which we all have learning curves in our generations,

We're,

You know,

We all do,

So this is just their learning curve,

It's not because they're bad or dumb or lazy or stupid or entitled as everybody's saying,

It's not about that,

It's about they're different,

Just like every other generation,

So if they're different,

Then like basically what that,

We're evolving,

So believe it or not,

Like different is usually better because the old way sucked,

So,

So different is usually better,

But there is a learning curve and my opinion is that the,

The Millennials and younger generations,

Their learning curve is that they're so complacent,

They are so understanding,

That they,

They are so spiritual in the way that they know everything's okay,

Like they just know that man,

Deep in their core,

They know everything is okay,

So sometimes that manifests as not being externally motivated,

This is why they sit around and they don't take quite as much action and of course you bring in,

You know,

The the information age with,

With the technology at their fingertips all the time and the video games and they don't technically need to leave their house to be mentally stimulated,

So which,

So they,

They're not as action oriented as we were,

You know,

We,

Like if we sat in our house for,

You know,

All day,

Like basically all there was to watch,

Was to watch TV,

Like,

You know,

When we're kids you can only watch so much TV until you got bored and we probably watch too much,

But even then,

Like even if you sat down,

This 16 hours a day when you're not sleeping,

If you sleep eight,

So like in the summertime if you watched eight hours of TV,

That's a lot of freaking TV,

You still have eight hours to entertain yourself,

You know,

So that boredom kind of pushed us out into action and getting out of the house and doing something,

So we didn't drive ourselves crazy,

Whereas this,

You know,

They can be intellectually stimulated inside the house,

So they're not as action oriented for,

For a couple different reasons,

Because they know that they're okay and they know things are gonna turn out alright,

They just have this knowingness,

So they're,

So they're not running around trying to,

You know,

Take a lot of action to make sure that they run their life the way they want to,

They're just like,

Eh,

I'll be okay,

You know,

So my point is,

Is because of this,

Everybody starts,

You know,

They're,

Everybody's been yelling,

Oh,

They're so entitled,

They're so entitled,

You know,

And I,

You know,

And I kind of saw it too,

So I slowed down,

Looked at it,

And I looked at what they were asking for,

I literally researched it,

What are the Millennials,

You know,

What are their characteristics and what are they looking for,

And basically what they wanted was jobs that paid a good wage,

Like,

You know,

A good wage,

I mean,

Better than what my generation is used to,

They wanted a decent amount of vacation time,

Not just like one week a year,

And they wanted to work for companies that actually made a difference in the world that they believed in,

Not just,

You know,

Corporate America crapping on all over everybody just to make a buck,

They didn't like that idea,

And a lot of times they want things that would make a positive impact on the world,

So these were the main things that they were looking for,

And everybody was so caught up complaining about how entitled they were,

I was like,

Yeah,

But that sounds good,

Like,

What if we lived in a world where the Millennials actually got what they wanted,

Like,

I,

Like,

When I started a job,

I would like to get paid a decent wage,

Instead of the owner of the company and the CEO making a hundred million dollars a year and me scraping to get by,

I would like to make more money,

Instead of getting one week vacation a year,

I would like three or four weeks vacation a year,

So I could actually enjoy my life other than only work through it,

Like,

My point is,

What they were asking for was a good freaking idea,

And here we are as a society calling them jerks and saying that they're entitled self-righteous jerks because they want all this stuff,

It's like,

No,

No,

Why don't we give them what they want,

It would be a better world if they got what they want,

I want what they want,

You know,

So,

So,

Like,

So,

I saw that 10-15 years ago,

And I've been saying it ever since,

Now here we are,

And it's been,

You know,

A decade later or so,

And now COVID hits,

And people are working from home,

And the government starts giving them a bunch of money for sitting at home,

And now,

And people start getting burned out from the jobs that they are doing,

You know,

I think,

I don't know this to be a hundred percent true,

But I know that it has impacted the teachers and the healthcare industry dramatically,

I don't know if it's impacted them more than other areas,

I think so,

But I'm not positive,

But it has impacted those areas dramatically,

Where there's lots of,

You know,

Teachers and healthcare workers,

They can't keep these people working,

You know,

That,

Like,

And,

And they're,

They're giving them large signing bonuses just to agree to work for them for one more year,

And so they don't have to retrain and all this stuff,

So what's happening is what the millennials wanted is starting to come into fruition,

Like,

And what I mean by that is the workers now are starting to take control,

Before it was the top,

You know,

The,

The CEO and the board that had control,

And they said,

No,

You make this much,

And you only get this much vacation,

And that's the way it is,

And suck it up,

Buttercup,

That's the way life is,

And then everybody just went,

Now everybody's going,

No,

It's not worth it,

Man,

It's not worth me going in there,

Working my finger to the bone,

Not getting crap for vacation,

Scraping to get by,

Struggling in life,

I'll just stay home,

It's not even worth working,

You know,

And this is what's happening around the world,

Not just in the U.

S.

,

This is what's happening,

And what's happening is people,

Because people standing up and going,

No,

No more,

I'm not going to be treated like crap,

Now all of a sudden the,

The corporations are changing their tune and starting to give people what they want so they can still function.

Corporations would gladly make 90 million dollars instead of a hundred million dollars if that's the only thing that will keep them afloat,

But if they can make 110 million dollars and take it out of your pocket,

They will do it every freaking time,

Because they don't care,

It's about business,

You know,

And of course I'm talking about the majority of businesses out there,

I mean what's getting more and more popular is these businesses assigned to treat people better and actually have like a conscience and trying to make a positive impact on the world.

Why?

It's fashionable and quite honestly we've researched everything and they found out that,

That like the more,

The happier people are,

The more productive they are,

So the more money they'll make,

So you know that's,

I mean some of it's probably selfish,

But whatever,

You know,

It doesn't,

I don't care why,

I don't care why positive change comes,

I don't care if corporate America goes like,

Oh my god,

We're,

You know,

We're gonna go out of business if we don't start treating people better,

So let's start treating people better,

Or they say,

Oh I had a spiritual epiphany and now I want to treat somebody better,

I don't really care to be honest with you.

Are you treating people better?

Yes,

Okay good,

That's all I care about,

The rest will come,

You know,

When you treat people better,

You feel better,

So that'll come,

But you know my point is,

Is that people,

The change happened when people started taking their power back and people started taking their power back when they started looking at their lives going,

You know what,

It's not worth it,

It's not worth it,

You know,

I'd rather downsize my house and take an early retirement than deal with this crap,

I would rather start an Etsy business and just work for myself than take this crap,

You know,

It's that when people aren't putting up with the same crap as they used to,

And I don't care why,

I just love that they're doing it,

Because that's what's taking the power back and the power is shifting,

You know,

Like I mean we look at it and we go,

Ah this,

Empowerment is huge for me,

This is one of my life lessons,

Like I don't know if you guys believe in this stuff,

But like I did some past life regressions,

And every time I did a past life regression,

What kept coming up was I was disempowered in previous lives,

You know,

And society was very different back then,

So like,

You know,

I was enslaved in ways,

I was beaten,

I was like,

And there's lots of other things that I saw in these past lives that I won't go into,

But basically what it was is I had no control over my own existence,

I had no,

And this lifetime I came in,

And that was one of my missions is to change that,

That's why this is such a hot topic for me,

It's empowerment,

I refuse to give my power away,

This is why like you'll see me comment on social media sometimes,

And it's because I see people giving their power away constantly in their comments,

Just,

Oh my god,

Poor me,

That's giving your power away,

Oh my god,

Look what this person did to me,

That's giving your power away,

Like all this,

It's just disempowering,

Disempowering,

Disempowering,

Disempowering,

And goes up my ass sideways,

It drives me crazy,

I hate the feeling of it,

I hate the energy of it,

It's just,

I can't stand it,

You know,

And I mean,

And I,

You know,

I still experienced plenty of it,

When I was drinking,

You know,

I was a victim of everybody,

I was a victim of life,

I was a victim of my bosses,

I was a victim of,

You name it,

I was a victim of it,

So I thought,

But then when I stopped,

When I got sober,

And I learned how to take responsibility for my life,

And then all of a sudden I'm like,

Oh okay,

So I learned how to take my power back,

And I learned how to not give it away through setting boundaries,

And all kinds of wonderful ways,

And it's so empowering to live like that,

You know,

So this is,

This is what I want to talk to you guys about,

You know,

Like I've told the story many times about how all three of my jobs before I started my business,

I got asked to go to a mandatory meeting at a time when I had my son,

I was supposed to be with my son,

And that was my number one priority,

And all three times I said,

No,

I won't go to a mandatory meeting,

Do what you need to do,

If you want to fire me over that,

Then fire me over it,

But this is not during our work hours,

And I have a commitment to my son,

And I'm not breaking that commitment to my son,

To go to your meeting,

It's not happening,

So do what you got to do,

And not one time did I get fired,

And all three jobs my bosses commended me on the,

And about how they respected me for the father that I was,

By the time I left,

I had earned their respect,

We think if we give people what they want,

They're going to respect us,

No,

No,

That people don't respect people who give them what they want all the time,

People respect people that are true to themselves,

Because that's what,

That's what earns respect,

You can't respect a doormat,

You walk on doormats,

You don't respect them,

You know,

So,

So like this is,

This is,

We need to hang on to our power,

And stop giving it away,

So you know that we don't always have to risk our job,

But we can stand up for things,

And sometimes we might have to risk our job,

Like for me,

Like risking my job,

You know,

It scared me,

Because I had my son to take care of,

But I also had enough confidence in myself,

As a,

As a good person,

And a good worker,

And being an alcoholic for 20 years,

I guess maybe has some perks,

Like I always had a job,

I could always find a job,

I couldn't always keep a job,

Because I was drinking too much,

But I could always get a job,

So I figured if I could get a job 20 years as a drunk,

I'm pretty sure I could get a job now that I'm sober,

Like I can get a job doing something somehow,

Somewhere,

To at least keep a roof over my head,

And some food in my belly,

You know,

So I,

Like I would always go back to that,

Be like,

I'm sure I can get something,

You know,

But yeah,

It was scary in a lot of situations,

But when it,

When it came down,

And I did it in a couple other situations,

Which it was even more scary,

When it came to my son,

It wasn't really that scary,

Because that was my priority,

And I wasn't willing to bend on it,

You know,

What,

Fire me,

Yeah,

Absolutely fire me,

Not even a second thought,

If my choices are be with my son,

Which was my commitment,

And a good father,

And to me,

At that time,

Every single time I was to see him,

I was there,

Consistency,

I was,

And it was going to happen,

Period,

So that was a non-negotiable for me,

So it wasn't,

It wasn't,

I,

I didn't,

I never got scared about those mandatory meetings,

Because to me,

I,

I'd flush every job down the toilet,

In,

Just like that,

You're telling me I can't be a good father to my son,

What I feel is a good father to my son,

Not saying everybody has to have the same standards I did,

But what I,

I considered my,

Those standards,

And those were my standards,

And if you're telling me that I need to put my job above my child,

I will quit every time,

Every single time,

Not a second thought,

And I will go do something else,

You know,

And it's that easy when you're clear,

You know,

Now if,

You know,

If it's,

If it's something else,

Sometimes we have to practice acceptance,

I consider myself a spiritual realist,

I mean,

I don't run around telling people to just quit their jobs,

And not pay any attention to the consequences,

It's not it at all,

I was fully aware of the consequences,

And I made that choice,

Now there was many times when I had to understand that,

You know,

This is another thing that gave me a lot of freedom,

Is,

Is my perspective,

I had to understand that I might get off the job topic soon,

Because I don't want to go too far,

Where we get off the topic of handing our power away,

But like,

I had to understand at my job,

Like,

What my job was,

Like,

This,

This screws so many people,

Like,

So many people,

When you think about it,

When you get a job,

Right,

You're all excited,

You apply for the job,

You want the job,

You tell your friends to cross their fingers for you,

Oh,

I hope I get the job,

Then you get the job,

And then a year later,

You freaking hate it,

Why?

Because management isn't doing what you think that they should do.

Well,

They're stupid,

And whoa,

Whoa,

When,

When did you become CEO?

Like,

I had to,

I had to understand that,

Where is,

Like,

I was judging what the CEO and what my manager was doing,

That's not my place to judge what they're doing,

They're above me,

That's not,

It's not my place,

My place is to do what I'm told,

That's my job,

When I,

When you take a job,

It's a very simple agreement,

You agree to go in and do the job duties that they point out to you,

To the best of your ability,

In exchange for that,

They give you a paycheck,

And maybe some health insurance,

Um,

That's the deal,

Man,

Like,

They're not supposed to run the company the way you think it should be run,

That's not the deal,

If you want to determine how a company is run,

Then you should start a company,

That's what you should do,

Because those are the people who get to tell the people underneath them how to run,

And once you understand that and stop thinking that it's your right to give a shit how they run their company,

It's not your business,

Your business is to keep your mouth shut and do your job the way that,

To the best of your ability,

The way they want it done,

That's your job,

And if you don't like it,

Then go find another job,

Period,

Like,

And we get these grandiose ideas in our head,

And then like,

Oh,

Then we talk to our friends,

And they pat us on the back and commiserate with us,

Yeah,

That is stupid,

No,

What's stupid is you second-guessing them,

Because it's not your job,

You don't,

That's not how it works,

Man,

Be realistic,

If you're a worker and management is above you,

It's their job to tell you what to do,

And at any point,

You have the right to quit,

Renegotiate,

Quit,

And the other side has the right to renegotiate or fire you,

At any time,

Nobody's making you stay,

Nobody's got a gun to your head,

If you don't like what they're doing,

If they don't like,

If you don't like what they're telling you to do,

Then go find another job,

And I'm not saying again,

You know,

Oh my god,

I hate having to explain this stuff,

Like,

In such detail,

But I,

I,

As soon as I say those things,

I hear the egoic bullshit that everybody throws at me when I say them,

Because it's the ego kicking in,

Going,

Oh,

Yeah,

Glenn,

I'm just going to quit my job,

Because Glenn said so,

Oh,

Glenn just,

Yeah,

It must be nice to be Glenn,

He's got his own business,

I can't run around just quitting my job whenever I,

That's not what I'm saying,

You know,

Slow down,

That's the ego talking,

It's very extreme,

It's either you do whatever you,

You know,

You allow the company to shit all over you every day,

Or you just walk in tomorrow and quit,

Those,

Like,

Your ego says those are the two options,

It's not the two options,

We live in the gray,

Okay,

So if you don't like your job,

Start looking for another one,

The best way to find one,

You can't tell me you can't find a another job in five years,

Nobody can stand here,

Look me in the eye and tell me they can't find another job in five years,

Of course you can,

You can start your own business in five years,

You can find another job in five years,

Like,

So,

So just start looking,

Start creating,

Start designing your own future,

That's taking your power back,

So you're giving your power away by thinking that you have no choice,

That's,

That's giving your power away,

Well,

What am I going to do,

I can't just quit,

So I'll sit here and be treated like crap for the next 20 to 40 years,

That's giving your power away,

Well,

I can't just quit,

I can't just quit,

Like,

That's the,

That's the only option,

Nobody's telling you to quit,

Go start building a different future,

Go back to school nights,

Get a different education,

So you can get a different job,

Start your own business online,

Start applying to other companies,

Doing the same thing that you do,

It's countless,

It's endless,

Your opportunity is out there,

Opportunity doesn't just knock once,

It's all it does,

I hate that line,

Opportunity only knocks once,

No,

It doesn't,

That's all it does,

Is it runs around freaking knocking,

And if you don't answer,

Guess what it does,

It knocks again,

And it knocks again,

And it knocks,

Because it's its only job,

That's what it does,

Take your power back and design your future,

You decide how to live your life,

Don't let society decide,

You know,

This,

That's the,

That's the difficult part of it,

And,

And thank God this younger generation is breaking out of this,

And doesn't believe this BS,

Because it is BS,

You know,

That these,

The older,

Like our parents generation,

And my God,

Their parents generation was even worse,

Because I mean,

Think about it,

This has been going on for a thousand years,

Like this mentality of lack,

And,

And no,

Uh,

No options,

This has been passed down for a thousand years,

A hundred thousand years,

From caste systems,

To like all this stuff,

It's just,

It's just not the way of reality anymore,

And we're still living like it is,

So these kids understand that there's other options out there,

And they're like,

I'll make it,

I'll make it somehow,

Yeah you will,

Congratulations,

As long as,

You know,

And like I said,

Their learning curve is,

Is to take more action,

You know,

We take plenty of action,

If we think we can,

Our problem is in between the ears,

It's sitting here going,

I don't have a choice,

I don't have a choice,

Yeah you do,

You have all the choices,

You know,

I was,

I was talking with somebody up here the other day,

And you know,

The Dominican Republic doesn't have the opportunities that a lot of places have,

So I was talking to a gentleman that lives here,

And he was saying,

He's like,

You know,

I was talking about like,

You know,

My life,

And,

And he says,

Well,

You get to do what you like,

And I said,

Yeah,

I do,

He's like,

Well,

See,

You know,

A lot of people don't get to do what they like,

They just have to do what it takes to pay the bills,

And I'm like,

No,

That's,

That's not how it works,

So like,

I mean,

Yes,

Sometimes we have to do things that we don't like to pay the bills,

I get that,

I did it most of my life,

For 20 years while I was drinking,

Do you think I ever liked my jobs?

As a general rule,

No,

Not really,

You know,

Because I did some steel work for a while that I got a certain level of satisfaction out of,

But I knew I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life,

I got into personal training for a while,

I was miserable drinking all the time,

I didn't like anything,

Let alone my job,

I didn't like having to go into work all the time,

Did I like personal training better than working at a wood factory?

Yep,

You know,

But I worked at wood factories,

I worked as security guards,

I built kitchen cabinets,

I,

Um,

Oh my god,

I worked as a leasing agent,

I delivered doors in heavy,

Some of them 300 pound doors with this little guy picking it up on my shoulder,

Um,

I,

I worked for a rental company,

I,

My,

And then the list goes on and on and on,

And most of them I didn't like,

So I understand doing what you don't like,

Uh,

Selling,

Then when I got sober,

Selling phones,

Working in an office that I hated,

I got back into personal training,

Um,

And that I liked that compared to the other two jobs,

But,

Uh,

I knew that I didn't want to do it for the rest of my life.

My point is,

Is that it's,

Sometimes we have to do what we don't like,

But if we use it as a stepping stone to get somewhere,

Then it's not forever,

So I was telling this guy,

I said,

I've done lots of stuff that I didn't like just to pay the bills,

But what,

When my life changed was when I took responsibility for that,

And I went like,

Okay,

Like,

What do I,

What do I think I want to do?

Well,

Maybe a life coach,

I didn't even know what a life coach did,

To be honest with you,

When I,

I just knew that I wasn't going back to school because I hate school,

And getting all this education,

And that's not how I learn,

And,

And I'm not,

I'm sure as hell not doing red tape for therapy and counseling,

And,

And dealing with insurance companies and crap,

I have no interest in dealing with that crap,

So I figured life coach was the wild,

Wild west,

There was no structure to it,

I could kind of do what I wanted,

So I figured I'd try it,

And it worked out,

You know,

I didn't know what I was doing,

I just knew I wanted to help people,

And that one seemed like the one that fit me,

Because I didn't,

It didn't require a ton of education,

And it didn't have a ton of red tape,

So I was like,

Okay,

I'll try that,

And I walked in the direction of it,

And know what I did in the meantime,

Stuff that I didn't want to do,

So we have,

But I built my business,

You know,

Like it's,

If you're doing what you don't want to do,

Just with no plan,

Then you're giving your power away,

Because you just painted yourself into a corner,

But if you're not doing what you want to do,

As a way of feeding yourself,

And keeping a roof over your head,

While you chase your dream,

That's fine,

Because eventually you're going to get there,

And I don't care if it takes 20 years,

I mean,

Most,

Most of the time it's not,

I mean,

I would probably ballpark anywhere from two to five years,

Probably,

To make a,

To,

To make a big career change,

You know,

Definitely sometimes less,

But ballpark it around there,

But I mean,

What if it takes 20 years?

So,

So what if you're,

What if you're 40,

And it's going to take 20 years?

Well,

Then you'll be 60,

So like,

Nobody retires at 65 anymore,

So like,

Would you rather do what you wanted from,

For the last 15 years,

From 60 to 75,

Actually enjoy your life,

And maybe even decide to work longer,

Because you like it,

Or would you rather just,

Instead of working 20 years,

To not doing something you want to like,

You say,

No,

Screw it,

I'd rather work 35 years doing something I don't like,

What sense does that make?

You know,

We have to have some long-term vision,

And understand that we can build whatever life we want,

We just have to stop walking towards it,

And we can't give our power away to these outdated mindsets that we're stuck,

Like,

Like,

Once we're 25,

We're just doomed,

Like,

To,

Well,

I have my,

I have my bachelor's in liberal studies,

I think I'm gonna look into the McDonald's management freaking training program,

I don't know,

I mean,

Come on,

Guys,

We can do whatever we want,

And if you don't like where you are,

You don't like what you're doing,

Change it,

Change it,

I mean,

That,

Just deciding to change it,

And,

And doing something,

Like,

Oh,

I'm tired as it is,

You're tired because you're not living,

You'd be amazed at how much energy,

How much life force starts flowing through you when you,

When you start chasing your dreams,

You're,

You have low energy because you're not happy,

You don't like your life,

That's draining,

That's,

You start chasing your dreams,

All of a sudden that excitement comes back,

More energy comes in.

So,

So that's kind of the work,

Actually,

Let me just take a quick look at,

Got some of the comments on this,

Just to see if any of them touch on the work aspect,

No,

Not really,

So,

So,

Yeah,

So,

I mean,

Let's,

Let's move off of the job stuff,

You know,

It's in,

It's in day-to-day stuff,

You do not,

I'll just try to wrap it up with some specifics,

You do not have to be treated by your boss,

Like,

Like,

You do not have to be treated like crap,

We allow stuff that is absurd,

Like,

People get yelled at at work all the time,

And it's one of the biggest things I hear,

Oh,

Well,

There's nothing I can do,

You know,

It's like,

No,

You,

I've done it,

I've had my boss,

I do not,

Like,

You know,

This is one of my triggers,

You know,

I got picked on a lot as a kid,

And I ended up fighting a lot because of it,

And I don't like bullies,

I don't like people bullying me,

And when,

You know,

A lot of my bosses,

And I don't care if it's a man or a female,

But it just so happens in my experience,

My bosses were usually men,

I usually get along with the women better,

But usually there are men that would,

That would lose their temper and start yelling at me,

And like,

To me,

That's like,

Dude,

Like,

You are an adult male,

And I'm an adult male,

And you're like,

I know it's verbal,

But you're kind of attacking me,

Don't do that,

Like,

Don't,

Like,

Don't,

Don't do that,

Like,

Where I grew up,

You got punched in the face for that,

And I kind of feel like punching in a face right now,

So don't do that,

Like,

I just do not allow it,

It's not going to happen,

And of course,

I'm an adult,

So I don't want to punch people in the face,

So what I do is,

I just walk out,

I give them a warning,

I go,

Whoa,

Whoa,

Whoa,

No,

You,

You can't yell at me,

I don't do well with people yelling at me,

And usually they just start,

They continue yelling,

So I go,

No,

You keep yelling,

I'm leaving,

And then they get really pissed,

And they start yelling louder,

And then I just stand up,

And I walk out the office,

Now,

Not once have I gotten in trouble for that,

And I've done it multiple times,

Because what are they going to do,

What are they going to do,

Say like,

You have to allow me to yell at you,

Or what are they going to do,

Go to,

And I bet you some of them went to HR to get me fired,

And they were like,

Yeah,

Dude just walked out of my office,

Oh really,

Well,

What was happening,

Well,

I was laying into them like this,

Oh,

Did you raise your voice,

Well,

Yeah,

Well,

You can't,

You can't yell at them,

Dude,

That's like against company policy,

You can't,

You can't have somebody in your office screaming at them,

Like,

You can't do that,

And if we were to fire them,

Like,

They'd have a lawsuit,

Because you were verbally abusing them,

So you can't fire them because of that,

You know,

I'm sure some of those conversations went down,

You know,

And I've walked out of the same office with the same boss multiple times,

You know,

They call me back in,

They start all calm,

All right,

Glenn,

Then they start getting heated,

And they start yelling,

And I go,

Whoa,

Whoa,

You're starting to yell again,

Don't tell me what the,

I stand up,

And walk right back out,

You do that three or four times,

You'd be amazed,

You'd be amazed how they treat you differently,

And it demands respect,

And know what's cool is those same people that treat you like crap,

Start treating you better,

Because you're the one person in the office that doesn't put up with their shit,

And they start respecting you,

And I've had actually pretty good relationships with some of those people afterwards,

Because they knew that they needed to respect me,

Everyone thinks,

Yeah,

But that won't work with my boss,

Yeah,

But that won't work with my husband,

Yeah,

But that won't work with my son,

Yeah,

But that won't work with,

We have this terminal uniqueness,

Everybody thinks their situation is different,

No it's not,

I've been out in the world and done this crap with all kinds of people,

It's not different,

No,

I'm not saying that you're not risking some repercussions,

And you have to take those into consideration,

You know,

But I just wasn't willing to get yelled at,

So I didn't do it,

So we don't,

My point is,

We don't have to put up with the amount of crap that we think we need to put up with,

Let me just touch on,

Yeah,

When it says my name on the building,

Then we'll do things my way,

That's right Kyle,

Let's see what Rich says,

Always question the higher-ups,

If they don't listen,

It's not a job to be in,

But if they listen,

Then it's a job that is good,

Because they are not stuck in their ways,

And are willing to listen to new ways of doing things,

That's being a good boss,

Listening to your employees and taking what they have to say into consideration,

Rather than just saying this is the way it is,

And if so,

Yes,

I agree with you 100% Rich,

That is a good company to work for,

And we have to understand not every company is like that,

So if not,

If the company you're working for is not like that,

And you want to work for a company like that,

Then you need to go work for a different company,

You don't sit in that same company in bitch for 30 years,

That they don't treat you right,

They don't treat me right,

Oh my god,

You poor thing,

Did you teach them how to treat you,

No,

You didn't,

Like when they treated you poorly,

You didn't stand up and say excuse me,

You're not allowed to treat me that way,

No,

Okay,

Then why would they treat you,

How do they know how to treat you,

Because they just know how to treat people,

And they never get upset,

And they don't have their own lives and pressures,

And they're not living unconsciously like most of the world is,

People are living from their perspective,

Trying to do the best they can in a dysfunctional society,

We need to take,

That's handing your power over,

Everybody should know how to treat me,

No they shouldn't,

No,

You're happy,

See that's the point of it all,

We take our happiness and we go the world should do this,

And if the world does all this,

Like my boss treats me this way,

My spouse treats me this way,

My friends treat me this way,

If they all did that,

Then I'd be happy,

And they're not doing that,

And I'm unhappy,

So it's their fault,

That is a horrible system if you expect to be happy,

Because nobody is going to design their life around you,

Nobody's going to suddenly wake up and be courteous to your special needs,

It's not going to happen,

So you need to teach people how to treat you,

You need by standing up for yourself,

By setting boundaries,

When somebody crosses a line,

Say whoa you're not allowed to do that,

So let's see,

So now you know that is kind of actionable stuff,

You know,

So I want to get into some other stuff that a lot of people get very upset about,

And they're,

We don't need,

We don't need to get upset about,

This is none of our freaking business,

Like you know,

You know just about anything that's happened in the last six years,

Just pick anything that's happened in society in the last six years,

And think about how the conversations go amongst people,

Right,

One person has one side and then they argue with the other person that's on the other side,

Right,

Why are they arguing,

What's the point,

Like one side isn't going to change the other side's perspective,

Right,

And when one side says like you shouldn't think that way or you should think this way,

Does that work,

Like have you ever seen somebody go,

I think we should raise the minimum wage,

And then the other person is on the other side of that,

And they go no that's ridiculous,

You should not raise the minimum wage,

Because then people won't want to go to college,

And they won't want to get an education,

They won't work hard,

Because they're making the same amount of money as these other people,

And then right,

And you're on,

Let's say you're on the side of raising minimum wage,

And then you fight and yell and argue with them for,

I don't know,

15 minutes,

An hour and a half,

14 hours,

And then that other person goes,

You know,

You're right,

We should raise minimum wage,

I have never seen that happen,

I don't see people change their mind through arguing,

Because their mind is already made up,

So why are we wasting our breath,

Why are we arguing with these people,

That's handing our power away,

Because like if somebody comes at you and says,

We have to keep the minimum wages,

It is,

And you go,

No I think we should raise it,

And then like can they climb inside of you and take your perspective away from you,

Can,

Do they have the power to somehow change your mind unless you allow them to change your mind,

No,

They can say whatever they want until it blew in the face,

And if you think that minimum wage should be raised,

After they're all done talking,

And they spewed out all this information at you,

And all everything came out,

You know,

You can still look them in the eye and go,

Well I understand that's your perspective,

But it's not mine,

I still think that they should raise the minimum wage,

Done,

They just fought with you for 14 hours,

And it accomplished nada,

Nothing,

Zero,

Zilch,

If you stand in your power,

But we feel so attacked,

Somebody,

Why,

What are we defending,

We don't have to defend our opinion,

Nobody can take it from us,

So why are we working so hard to defend it,

No that's,

You can't tell me what to think,

Right,

So why are you so upset,

Why are you arguing,

Nobody can change your opinion,

Nobody nobody can take your opinion away,

It's yours,

It's okay,

So you don't need to defend it,

You see what I'm saying,

That's giving,

Arguing is giving our power away,

This is why like most people,

When like of course I get into discussions,

And maybe even occasionally an argument,

But generally the discussions,

I don't get into a lot of arguments,

Because as a general rule,

When I see somebody that's on the opposite side of an issue as I am,

I don't discuss it with them,

Like if I've made up my mind,

If I haven't made up my mind,

And my mind is open,

And I'm trying to gather information,

Well yeah,

Then I'll take information from that side,

And I'll take information the other side,

Then I'll weigh them out,

And I'll come to my own opinion,

And I don't argue with either one of them,

Because I'm gathering information,

See I'm trying to learn something,

I'm listening,

I'm not,

It's not about talking at somebody,

I'm listening,

Trying to gather information,

But once I've made my opinion,

If somebody walks up to me and says my opinion is different than yours,

I go okay,

We have nothing to discuss,

Well what do you mean,

What's there to discuss,

You just told me by your opening statement,

And this is oftentimes how it starts,

People will,

In their opening statement,

They will be like,

Whatever the topic is,

I think Trump's a jerk,

I think Biden's a jerk,

I think this is right,

I think that's wrong,

Whatever their opening statement is their point,

And if I disagree with their point,

The last thing I'm going to do is get into a conversation with them,

With it,

Why,

Why bother,

They've made,

They've said their point,

And it's the opposite of mine,

And nothing that I'm going to say is going to change that,

Why,

Because they're not listening,

They're not interested in changing their point,

All they're interested in is defending their side,

Which they don't have to do,

Because I can't take their side away from them,

But for some reason that's what they want to do,

They just want to argue and feed,

You know,

It's all egoic,

Feeding the ego with this stuff,

So we,

Nobody can take your opinion away from you,

So allow people to disagree with you,

That's one of the most freeing things there is,

It's amazing the level of peace that you feel inside,

I mean I literally felt peace inside my body,

I have literally had instances where I implemented this,

And it felt like about 500 pounds was lifted off my shoulders,

Because I just freed myself up of all that pressure that I was putting on myself,

That was unnecessary,

And all I did was literally just allow somebody to have a different opinion than I did,

You know,

My,

My,

My biggest one was just fully accepting that my ex thinks that I am Satan,

No matter,

I've been living spiritually for 19 years,

And she still thinks I'm a bad person,

That's fine,

She has the right to her opinion,

I disagree with it,

I think I'm a good person,

And I'm gonna stay with that,

And I feel fine inside,

But when I gave her the right,

When I stopped resisting that,

I didn't know,

But for 10 years I had this little thing in the back of my mind,

Hoping that since I was living by spiritual principles,

And really being a good father,

And all this stuff,

That eventually she'd see that I was a good person,

And I would get frustrated,

You know,

Like,

And after 10 years I was like,

What,

Why does this stuff bother me sometimes,

And I realized it was because I had this little hope that she was going to see me as a good person someday,

And when I just decided,

You know,

Like,

We think,

We think because we,

You know,

Like most of us,

Everybody thinks they're a good person,

And everybody thinks they're on the right side,

You know,

Everybody wants to be loved,

Everybody wants to be happy,

Everybody wants to be peaceful,

And yet everybody is at odds fighting against each other,

Right?

So why is that?

It's because of perspective,

It's simply because of perspective.

We all think we're fighting for the right,

The Republicans think that they're fighting for peace and love and happiness and the best way to live,

And the Democrats think the same way,

And they're fighting against each other,

And no wonder why they're not going to change their own mind,

Because,

You know,

One side says,

Why won't you see that this is loving,

And the other side says,

That's not loving,

This is loving,

Why don't you see this as loving?

It's just different perspectives.

So everybody thinks they're the good person,

You know,

Go on a dating profile,

Online dating,

Do you see anybody that in their profile that says I'm a jerk and I treat people like crap?

No,

But there's tons of people out there that do it,

So why is that?

It's because we rationalize our own behavior,

And we think we're good people,

Everybody thinks they're a good person as a general rule,

I mean on the surface,

You know,

We all struggle with insecurities deeper down,

And that's a real reality of stuff,

But on the surface everybody thinks they're a good person,

So what I realized is,

You know,

It was very clear to me because I was always living my life out of love and peace and harmony and all these wonderful things,

Right,

And,

You know,

When you're living like that,

What most people develop is what I call spiritual snobbery,

You know,

We think we're better than other people because our opinion is based in love,

And they're not loving,

And theirs must not be because they look at things differently,

Right,

So we think we have the right to tell people who are not loving how to live their lives,

And that's not the system,

The system is we are all individuals and we all have our right to our own opinion,

So it doesn't matter if it's based in love or based in anger,

I don't get to go just like somebody in anger doesn't get to come into my life and say Glenn you need to stop thinking angry reality of life,

I'm not going to allow somebody to come into my life and do that,

You may,

You may go,

And you know what,

That person has the same right to tell me to get out of here too,

Just because I'm based in love does not give me the right to tell somebody else how they should be thinking and how they should live,

I don't have that right,

I don't have the right to tell other people what to do with their lives and how to think,

Even if I'm based in love and they're not,

Just because I'm based in love it doesn't give me that right,

You know,

So we have to,

Giving others the ability to have their own opinion and say that's the way they think,

That's their business,

That's the best thing we can do,

It's freeing,

You know,

My mother used to call me the world police when I was in school because if there was an injustice anywhere I stuck my nose right into it,

You know,

Which is not good because I was in the middle of all kinds of controversy and half the time it had nothing to do with me,

So give others the right to have their opinion because if you don't all you're being is a hypocrite,

What you're doing is you're saying you can't tell me how to think but I can tell you how to think because I'm loving,

That's not loving,

That's control,

That's manipulation,

If you claim to be loving then you act actually have to act out of the energy of love,

Not out of the energy of control and manipulation,

You don't get to tell other people what to do.

A big thing is not taking things personally,

So if you haven't read the four agreements,

Go read the four agreements,

It's four simple agreements,

It's an easy read,

It's a small book by Dom and Gal Ruud,

It's a book that's a book that's a book that's a book that's a book that's a small book by Dom and Gal Ruud and it's very profound because it really gives us the understanding of why we can't take things personally,

Why it makes no sense to take things personally,

Why it disempowers us when we take things personally,

It's just whatever is going on inside of when somebody,

If somebody says Glenn you're a jerk,

That's what's going on inside of them,

That has nothing to do with me,

You know like I said my ex I believe,

I think still thinks that,

That's fine,

She has the right to her opinion,

If she's changed her opinion that's wonderful,

But if she hasn't that's fine,

It's okay and there's other people on the planet that think I'm a jerk,

That's okay,

They have the right to their opinion,

I'm fine with that,

I disagree with it but I understand that I can't please everybody,

I understand that some people are going to take the things that I say and either misunderstand them or maybe they'll understand them and they'll just disagree,

So they're individuals,

They have the right to their opinion,

This is a big problem in the world,

We think we're supposed to agree on everything,

No we're not,

We're supposed to have different perspectives,

That's why we were made as individuals,

We're not supposed to agree on everything,

So let me see,

I did want to touch on some of these,

Some of these comments,

Oh time,

That's a good thing,

That's a good one,

Time you know just remind me of this quote I used to have on my website when I first started my business,

It says,

It was Zig Ziglar,

He said,

Time is not the problem,

I'm not getting the right word,

It's not focus but it's something like focus,

Direction,

I think that's what he said,

Time is not the problem,

Like direction is the problem,

Not time,

We all have 24-hour days,

Everybody has 24-hour days and yeah some people work a full-time job while they're raising their children and start a business,

I did it,

I started my business right after my son moved in with me and his mom stepped out,

I was in charge of everything,

100% single parent,

Starting business,

Collecting food stamps,

It can be done,

Why did I do it?

Because I had direction,

I didn't blame it on time,

Oh I don't have time,

Oh I and my son was playing sometimes in three different soccer teams at once,

So I was driving all over New England and I went to all his soccer games except I think two and coached most of his teams and started a business,

So I mean it can be done,

It's just we need direction,

We need focus,

We need clarity,

We're powerless over children,

Politics,

Everything,

So I mean children,

If we're powerless over children,

I mean we need to learn to set some boundaries because I mean like it's we you know,

I mean I notice this,

I'm not saying it's easy,

I'm just saying we need to be honest with ourselves and gain some clarity,

One time when my son was younger,

I was very upset because I was telling him the same thing over and over again and he wasn't doing what I asked,

I don't even remember what it was,

But I remember thinking,

See whenever I blamed my son,

It didn't last long,

I would stop pointing the finger back at myself,

You know when there's a finger pointing at you,

When you're pointing the finger at somebody else,

There's three more pointing back at you,

That means it's three times more important to look at yourself instead of the other person,

You know and that bleeds right into what we're talking about today,

We point the finger at everybody else thinking everybody else,

It's everybody else's fault,

It's society's fault,

It's politics fault,

No it's our fault,

Society is a collection of people,

The government is an accurate reflection of the people,

If the people change then the party representing them will change,

Why?

Because we won't allow it,

We won't put up with it,

I think the fact that Biden and Trump are the two people running for office is an atrocity,

I think it's a symbol of where we have landed as a society because I think if we had any moral compass whatsoever,

If we had any self-esteem or self-love and we saw those two idiots attempting to represent us,

We would have tore down the freaking white house and started over,

We literally just wouldn't put up with it,

But whatever,

You know I don't want to get too deeply into politics,

But we point the finger at the politicians going it's their fault,

It's not their fault,

It's our fault for accepting it,

This is how we gain our power back,

We are the people,

We are the power and we give it to these top one percent and we go why don't you treat us nicer,

Because they don't have to,

That's why,

Why would they treat us better,

They're getting everything they want,

They get millions of dollars,

They can do whatever they want,

They have salary until they die,

They pass whatever law to benefit them and then we're going why don't you treat us nice,

What would they benefit,

It's up to us to demand change,

But so with children whenever,

You know I was saying when I caught myself going I told this kid 10 times and he didn't listen and then all of a sudden I told this kid 10 times caught my ear and I went what you told somebody something 10 times,

Why would you do that glenn,

I could feel the disempowerment and you know how I said the disempowerment goes right up my ass sideways,

I felt that,

I was like oh and I and I saw that I was giving my power away,

Because I was telling my kid the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over expecting a different result,

Which is insanity as we all know,

So it's like oh my god what the heck am I doing,

I'm telling this kid the same thing over and over,

It's not he's obviously not listening,

So what we do when we tell people to do something and we don't have consequences,

What we're doing is we're literally teaching them to ignore us,

Because like let's say my son doesn't want to clean his room right and I go hey clean your room and then he doesn't clean his room and nothing happens and then I go hey clean your room and he doesn't clean his room and nothing happens and I do that 10 times,

Guess what he's learning,

I am literally teaching him by my actions that if he ignores what I say,

He gets what he wants,

He gets what he wants,

Which is not cleaning his room,

So I am training him,

I am teaching him how to treat me,

I am teaching him that if he ignores his father,

He gets what he wants by my actions,

So there has to be consequences and I never called it punishment,

I don't view it as punishment,

Punishment is something negative,

Consequences are something natural,

If you don't eat you starve to death and die,

That's not a punishment,

That's natural consequence and all of life is like that,

There's natural consequences for all of our choices,

If you don't go get a job,

You can't support yourself,

That's a natural consequence,

If an animal doesn't go hunting one day,

It doesn't eat that day,

Natural consequence,

None of it's punishment,

So I taught my son that he had to take responsibility for his life and there were natural consequences to his choices,

He had the freedom of choice,

He gets to choose,

If you don't want to clean your room,

You don't have to,

I'm asking you to clean your room and you have a choice,

You can either clean your room or you cannot clean your room,

Those are your choices,

If you choose to clean your room,

Life is going to go on the way it's going on,

If you choose not to clean your room,

Then life is going to get more difficult because there's going to be natural consequences that will start applying because it is going to get clean,

You want to know why it's going to get clean?

Because I'm the father,

That's why,

And I'm in control,

If the children are running the roost,

That's when you have problems,

If the children,

If your house is in disarray because of your children,

That's your fault because your children are not supposed to be setting the rules for your house,

You're the adult,

You're supposed to be setting the rules,

You've experienced a lot more of life,

You know,

If you allow your child to make decisions at five years old,

Go oh what do you want,

Hey you can eat whatever you want,

Okay chocolate cake for breakfast,

All right,

And you just let them live like that,

They're going to be suffering all kinds of natural consequences because they're going to be suffering all kinds of natural consequences because they don't know how to make healthy choices yet,

The house is your house,

You're the adult,

It's your responsibility,

So if there is mayhem in your house,

That's your fault,

Nobody else's,

And if it's an adult child,

That's even worse,

That's even more your fault because you didn't give them any consequences growing up and now they just walk all over you like a doormat,

They don't respect you,

They don't listen to you,

If your adult child doesn't listen to you,

Out,

You know,

When my son,

I mean me and my son have a great relationship,

But you know he pushed his boundaries when he was older,

He didn't like me telling him what to do,

You know,

Asking for help around the house,

This,

That,

Telling me I had to get a job,

This stuff,

He didn't like that,

So he stormed out,

You know,

There's more to it than in the story,

But he ended up storming out and then stayed at my friend's house,

But then he wanted to come back and I said okay,

Well you're over 18,

I don't have to take you back,

So one,

You're working full time now,

So you're gonna stop paying rent,

Two,

You're an adult now,

So I'm gonna treat you like an adult,

So when you come back in my house,

We're a team here,

So if I ask you to do something that's going to benefit the house,

I'm not putting up with any eye rolls or the oh,

I'm gonna do this,

I'm gonna have some eye rolls or the like a little teenage brat,

I'm not dealing with any of that stuff,

I'm not dealing with any disrespect,

So if I ask you to do something,

You can either say yes,

Okay,

Or you can just turn around and go do it,

But I'm not handling any attitude,

No disrespect,

And you're gonna be paying rent,

Okay,

And he moved back in with me,

I didn't have one problem,

Rent on the you're going to be able to control it.

Anytime.

Anytime Hey,

Can you run over to the store?

We need you know,

I just got back and I forgot this phone.

Gone.

Comes back with it.

No problems.

You know,

Something we you know,

Some people call it tough love.

It's just setting boundaries.

It's standing in your power.

If you're going to be able to control it.

Hey,

Rebecca.

All right,

Adam.

Virtual.

High five.

Yeah.

Is the comment.

Um.

Yes So we need to set boundaries and have consequences.

You know this is we hand our power away by playing victim.

Oh I don't know.

I mean,

We think we want to.

We think we want to blame everybody else.

It's just a It's an unconscious thing where basically society is caught up in victim mentality at this point,

Right?

I mean,

We're just riddled with it.

So like and I mean,

And if you're sitting there thinking every once in a while,

I'll say a version of this.

If you're sitting there thinking that you have to be honest with yourself.

Because I still do sometimes and victim mentality.

So you have to be honest with yourself.

If you're blaming somebody else for your life,

That's victim.

No matter what has happened to you in the past,

You need to deal with it.

Now.

Sometimes you need to process emotions.

You need to work through it.

Sometimes you need to see a therapist,

Life coach,

Whatever do what you need to do,

But you need to be honest with yourself.

Your past does not determine your future.

Your future is up to you.

Maybe some things that happened in your past weren't.

But your future is up to you.

And as long as you're sitting stuck because of something that somebody did to you in your past.

You're in the victim mentality,

And you're letting them win.

Maybe they destroyed five years of your life.

Maybe there's just try destroyed 20 years of your life.

You're going to be punished for whatever the hell happened.

And I'm sorry if that's the case,

But you can work through that.

And then the rest of your life is your responsibility.

You got to work through that stuff,

So it doesn't hold you back.

For the rest of your life.

So we think we want to blame other people because it's easier.

It's really easy,

And you've got to be honest with yourselves.

Please be honest with yourself.

If you're honest about how much how you live in a victim mentality,

It will change your life.

It was the biggest it started my whole thing.

You know,

Going through the 12 steps in a writing down.

It was my fifth step where I really started to blow open and how my spiritual awakenings why because I took responsibility for my life.

I wrote down all my resentments.

I wrote down all my fears.

I wrote down all my harms on others sexually.

I wrote them all down all of them.

And then I talked them through with a sponsor that knew what he was doing.

And he showed me patterns and he showed me how my life was my responsibility.

And he showed me that how all these hurts that I had in my life.

Somehow I played a part in those.

And as I started to see that I played a part in them.

Maybe I didn't do all of that.

And when I started to see that I saw the other side of the coin is always two sides to every coin in this world where yin and yang.

So as I took response when I took responsibility for my life.

I saw the other side of the coin.

I was like,

Oh,

My God,

If I played a part in all of dysfunction.

Then and like if something happened to you with a child as a child,

Maybe you didn't play a part in that situation.

But if you were a child and you couldn't,

You know,

Do anything about what was happening to you.

Well,

Now you're an adult and you're still not dealing with that.

You need to go deal with that.

And that's what I was saying.

And I was like,

Oh,

My God,

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

I can't do that.

You need to go deal with that and work through it.

Then you can have freedom to live design the rest of your life the way you want to live it.

So as I took responsibility for my life,

What the things that went wrong,

I started going,

Oh,

My God.

I just didn't understand life.

Now that I understand life,

I can design whatever life I want moving forward.

That's the most empowering thing ever.

So you think it's easier to point the finger because then you can sit on your butt and not do anything to change your life and pretend that you're a victim of life or your job or your spouse or your children or whatever else is dragging you down.

No,

It's your life.

It's your responsibility.

So you need to,

You know,

Dig your way out of it and do what's right.

And then you have to do this health stuff.

So and I want to touch on this just because it's a little bit different perspective.

Health stuff there.

Sometimes we have to bring in a level of acceptance,

You know,

Like,

You know,

It it's the same dynamic,

But sometimes it's viewed differently.

Like so you know when I was talking about jobs,

I said like you have to be clear on what your job is like and what your life is like.

That is a level of acceptance,

Right?

You just have to be realistic and accept the reality of your situation because all suffering is resistance to what is.

It's resisting the reality of life.

That's why we suffer.

So so with health issues,

We can accept the fact that we have a disease or a diagnosis or chronic pain at the moment or I can go through a parasite,

Which is one of the more difficult things that I've been through quite honestly for in on a physical perspective because it lasts forever.

Because what happens is you get sick and then you feel better,

Which you know,

It.

Yes,

Sick,

Which is pretty rare.

I usually feel better pretty quick.

So it happened.

And then I got sick again.

I'm like,

Oh,

I'm sick.

I'm sick.

I'm sick.

I'm sick.

I'm sick.

I'm weird.

But then I got better.

So I'm like,

Oh,

Whatever.

Maybe my immune system was lower because of the first time,

Whatever.

But then I got sick again,

And I kept getting worse and worse.

So then I found that it was parasite.

Then I start treatment.

Well,

The treatment takes a long time.

Yeah.

So like,

And I'm still in the middle of it.

I mean,

You know,

I'm working now.

So so like when I talk about this stuff,

I get really bad.

I get really bad.

I get really bad on the couch.

Like I,

You know,

There's days when I barely get off the couch.

I have no energy.

Fortunately the physical symptoms of my stomach.

Run into the bathroom for both possible reasons.

Uh for weeks on end that aspect so far is pretty much over.

It's pretty rare that I need to do that.

I've been doing it for six weeks,

Even.

So it's long,

But what I needed to do is accept this.

I accept that this is the reality of my situation right now.

I don't accept that I have to feel.

Lethargic every day.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be fine.

Um maybe like my body's healed from other things very quickly.

So maybe I'll heal from this quicker.

I don't know.

I don't know what the future holds.

I don't know what the future holds.

I don't know what the future holds.

I've been thinking about it for eight weeks.

It's how it is.

I don't know that.

There's miracles that happen all the time.

So like I give my play.

I give my mind an opportunity.

An openness to give the possibility that if a miracle is going to happen,

Then maybe it'll happen to me.

But what we do most times is we shut our eyes and we don't know what the future holds.

It's not possible.

So just keep your mind open.

I'm not saying that you necessarily have to plan on that happening like I'm definitely going to experience a miracle.

I'm going to be the miracle.

Hey,

If you can do that,

And you can actually believe that I think it would probably work because that's what some of the people did.

Not all of them.

Some of them did that.

They actually believed it.

That's too big of a stretch for a lot of people because they were known to man.

So I just stay open.

Hey,

Maybe I'll transcend it.

Maybe.

How do I know?

Doesn't make me feel any better to think that I'm going to be laid out forever.

You know,

I don't have control over that.

All I can do,

You know,

That there's plenty that we don't have control over.

We don't have control over whether we get a disease a lot of times,

You know?

We're hit with something.

Okay,

Now what?

Well,

Now you have to accept the reality of the situation and do whatever is going to benefit your outlook for the future.

And it's got to be believable.

This is why,

Like a lot of times,

What I'll do is like a maybe because we're so culturally conditioned,

You know,

Like we're so culturally conditioned that like,

Oh,

If you get this,

It means that.

Why?

Because the doctor said so.

Oh,

So,

Yeah,

But there's been exceptions to that,

That the doctor's going to be explained.

Well,

Yeah,

But that probably won't happen to me.

Okay,

So you're choosing the negative.

See,

I choose the positive.

People play odds.

And honestly,

I don't understand why people play odds because it's just disempowering.

And it closes our mind off.

I have had,

And I'm going to give you a little example outside the health,

But this is really how it's played out a lot in my life.

And I've done it with many different things,

But it's happened a lot with places to live,

Including my business places and just other places before I started my business.

I always find very cool places to live.

And everybody's asked me since I was in my 20s or even earlier how I do it.

It's like I just get so excited.

I'm like,

Why do I do it?

It's like it's I just keep my mind open.

That's all.

And I've gotten really good at keeping my mind open.

So like a lot of times people will be like,

Oh,

I want to move out,

But I can't because there's no one bedroom apartments.

And now I understand that there's a major shortage of one bedroom apartments and the ones that are out there are extremely expensive.

I get that.

That's reality.

I'm not denying it.

But what I am saying is,

Is they go,

Well,

I can't move out there.

I can't afford any one bedroom apartments.

There's none.

Well,

Yeah,

There's some,

But I can't afford any.

You can't afford any.

Well I mean,

I there's probably a couple out there that I could afford,

But there's only a couple.

Like well,

How many apartments do you need?

Well,

Just one.

Okay so.

So what?

It doesn't matter if you're not going to get one.

You can get one more than you need.

But people like Oh,

Yeah,

But there's hardly any.

There's hardly any.

So I probably won't get one.

What?

Why would you probably not get one?

Is this hardly any,

But but somebody has to get it.

And you want to know who's going to get it?

Probably the person that believes that they're going to get it,

And they actually try because most people who give up they go.

Well,

I probably won't get one.

I probably won't get one.

And then they go,

I'll probably blow up on stuff and they go see.

It's a self self fulfilling prophecy.

You know,

So keep your mind open.

We don't know what the future is going to hold physically,

No matter what your condition.

So you don't have to accept a particular outcome of your condition.

You can accept the reality that you have a physical pain.

That's denial.

It's not I'm a spiritual realist.

I deal with reality.

I understand it's difficult.

But I also know people that I've worked with.

That have found peace in.

Physical daily physical pain like extreme physical pain.

They found peace in there.

And been more powerful than the entire life up until that point.

And the pain was still there.

But they made peace within themselves.

See,

We have to just look for what's possible,

Man.

Expand our mind and look for what's possible.

Anything's possible if we believe it.

But if what we do is we close our minds down and go no,

This has to happen.

It's like,

Well,

Then it does.

I mean,

You're not even open to anything other than that reality.

And we are powerful.

We dictate our own reality.

So if,

You know,

I forgot who said it,

But whether you think you can or whether you think you can't,

You're right.

I mean,

People have been saying this forever.

Like this is no secret.

This is actually how life works.

You know what?

Where did the New Age spirituality or all this self help stuff start?

It started with successful business people in the 50s and the 50s.

And I started noticing that they thought different than other people.

And that's why they were successful.

Where other people saw a problem,

They saw an opportunity.

You know,

This is so they seize the opportunity while other people were bitching about the problem.

This is it.

We need to,

You know,

We have to look,

Expand our mind what's possible.

And we need each other to help this stuff,

You know?

We can't solve a problem with the consciousness that created it.

And I think that's really important with this.

So,

You know,

I don't I don't I do these things to give out free information and to try to help people.

And in turn,

It feeds my business.

But I'm not giving information to try as a sales pitch.

I'm giving information period.

And what you do with it is up to you.

But like it doesn't matter if it's me or if it's somebody else.

Like,

I mean,

Be careful if it's your friends or family because most friends and family quite honestly aren't used to thinking like this.

And when they're complaining about something,

They'll go,

Oh,

You poor thing.

I know it's not your fault.

You're a victim of life and you poor thing.

And I love you.

I know it's not your fault.

And they try to commiserate to make you feel better because they love you.

So their intentions are good.

But the the path to hell is paved with good intentions.

So what they're doing is they're disempowering you.

They're saying,

Yes,

You're a victim.

Yes,

You have no control over your life.

Yes,

You poor thing.

Yes,

I pity you.

Yes,

I feel bad for you.

Yes,

I feel bad for you.

Yes,

I feel bad for you.

It's not your fault.

You can just stay here.

It's disempowering.

So be careful when you go to friends and family for input and different perspectives.

But you need to see most often we need to see other people.

I've worked with the life coach.

You know,

Because getting a different perspective was helpful.

So we need to get different perspectives to help us see different people.

And we need to be more open to that.

You know,

So you know,

Think about getting that think think about getting some help from somebody.

Wow.

Okay.

We're almost at an hour and a half,

So I got to wrap it up.

All right,

So,

Uh,

Hopefully hopefully you guys can hear me.

We cannot control Some of the circumstances and some of the things that happened to us,

But we can control way more than we think we can.

You know,

By setting boundaries by by teaching people how to treat us by taking responsibility for our lives by demanding respect.

And not allowing people to walk on us.

And understanding what we're doing.

We're not protecting ourselves.

We're not taking on.

Love is respect.

So we have to start standing in that stuff.

You know?

And that's how we control.

You know that saying we can't control what happens to us,

But we can't control how we react to it.

That's right.

So like I can't control if a boss yells at me,

Right?

Boss starts yelling at me.

I can't just magically have a boss yell at me.

I can't control if he continues yelling at me.

That is within my control because I can walk out of the office.

I know because I've done it.

And I can refuse to be yelled at by a boss because that's inappropriate.

I know because I've done it.

I can refuse to be told that I need to attend a mandatory meeting.

Outside of work hours.

I can just be at the whim of all these things that we think we're at the whim of.

We don't have to allow people to treat us like crap and pretend that is because we're powerless.

No,

We're powerless over something that's initially happening,

But our reaction to it is within our control.

Whether we allow it to continue or whether we don't allow it to continue is within our control.

That is what I'm saying.

Take control over your life.

How people treat you,

How people talk to you.

Set consequences boundaries.

Don't allow it.

So there.

All right,

That's gonna do it.

Thank you,

Guys.

Uh that Yeah,

That's it.

That's all I'm getting.

So thank you.

Take care.

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