Finding Fulfillment

Too often we think of being fulfilled with our lives, our careers, and our relationships in a macro sense that can overwhelm us. In this episode, Glenn discusses different ways to look at individual situations and ways to find fulfillment in every day life.

Transcript

Hey everybody welcome to the show so today we are talking about you guessed it fulfillment.

So let's be fulfilled where's this gonna go?

I don't know.

Oh man where is this gonna go?

Well I did a I did kind of a spontaneous vlog on it recently.

Which I loved.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So it was it was really about the understanding of what fulfillment is and that it's not like we don't I think unconsciously just like most things we kind of have this perception that when we do something we'll be fulfilled by it.

But just like anything else that we really yearn for like peace,

Happiness,

Joy,

It comes from within.

So you know it's it's not because of an action.

It's a result of doing what you're supposed to be doing.

So like I don't sit there and finish up a podcast or finish up with a client life coaching and go oh there now now that I just finished a really good life coaching session I feel really fulfilled.

Like that's not how it works you know.

Like I feel fulfilled while I'm doing it.

Like if I slow down and and I just kind of pay attention I can feel this sense of joy and fulfillment as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

As I look at my life as a whole and be like you know what you help people for a living and you do your best at that and it's really in alignment with what you should be doing.

That really feels good.

It makes me feel fulfilled you know but it's an ongoing thing.

It's not like it's it's not you know a lot of people I see it when people try to get a job that they want and they get that job and they think well this is a good job like I'll be fulfilled you know because and and we'll make it real easy to wrap your brain around.

A job where you help people you know like I'm gonna become a nurse because then I can help others and there'll be a fulfilling career and then they become a nurse and they're wondering why they're not fulfilled and it's the same with a life coach or any career.

It's because it doesn't come in that format.

It doesn't you're not you know there's things that you do like sometimes I'm doing accounting that I don't want to do accounting or I'm doing other things that have to do with my business and it's like oh well wait I didn't know my life was gonna look like this you know oh I have my own business and I'm a life coach that sounds wonderful but I didn't know it was gonna it was gonna consist of all this stuff and this isn't fulfilling and this is what I isn't what I want my life to look at like I could go down that route if I wanted you know it's not because if you if you happen to be if you're if you're calling happens to be a calling that obviously helps people in an external way that people can point the finger at and go oh that's gonna be fulfilling that doesn't mean that you have fulfillment it's your perspective on it that gives you the fulfillment it's an ongoing process that gives you the fulfillment you know and it's it's it's very similar to like self-love it's the first time I kind of stumbled across this concept was many years ago when somebody asked me we're talking about self-love and somebody said well you seem to love yourself why and I went oh good question so it so I was like well you know so I I thought about it and it's like well why do I love myself and one of the things that came up was like because I had to give an example I couldn't just be you know ethereal about it so I was like okay I said well one of the reasons I love myself is because I'm honest I decided you know 15 years ago something like that 15 years ago to not lie even white lies and I wasn't majorly dishonest back then it was just kind of something I wanted to play around with and experiment with and it really became very helpful so so like I don't sit there and all of a sudden find myself in a situation where it's easy to lie and then I don't lie and then afterwards I go wow boy I just got this huge shot of self-love because I didn't lie I love me you know like that's not how it works it's an ongoing thing I like the idea that I am one who doesn't lie I like the idea of being an honest person and since I consistently live that in my life it's one of the reasons that I have love for myself you know so it's this ongoing mentality that's it's not a specific thing that that induces it so I think that in general what you're saying like a like maybe an easy way to break this down is fulfillment is like in the macro sense right and we look for it in micro situations so we look for fulfillment in the job in the day to day we look for fulfillment in like why is this thing we put fulfillment on things and and and and experiences and when in reality the feeling of fulfillment and the feeling of being happy and satisfied with yourself and what you're doing is an overall sensation right yeah it's it's it's not the you know it's not the minute by minute thing it's the general ongoing existence that you're living you know if you're living a life where you know you you can have a fulfilling life maybe this will help too you can have a fulfilling life without really being fulfilled by your job which you know generally is not the direction that I come at things from you know I mean I want I want to find as much joy as we can but there are as many different people as there are different paths and there are some people who go to work each day and they don't particularly feel that fulfilled from their job they they don't dislike their job but it's not like it's their huge calling in life and all this stuff and they go there and they do eight hours and it's fine you know there's not some big inner resistance towards it but it's not this huge fulfilling thing either it's just a part of their life because they live in this world and we kind of all have to have jobs you know so but that's not the big part of their life that they get their fulfillment outside of their job right this this has got me fired up now this aspect of it like this aspect of it has gotten me really fired up because like we hear so much about like like our culture today is push for more and for a better job and for more money and to be doing the thing that you love to do like follow your passion and and all of that stuff and we we've talked about it on the show quite a bit actually like that stuff is fantastic but it's not necessarily for everybody and there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a job that is fine and you don't hate and allows you to create a life where you can like still play for the local pickup basketball team right and right and you know and derive joy from spending time with your kids yeah and and your grandchildren and your you know and yeah having hobbies outside of of work and having loving relationships with your family and your friends and you know that that whole aspect of life can be very fulfilling and some people like I mean I've met people like this and like every once in a while it it'll capture my attention because you know you meet this person and they're kind of almost disconnected to their work life they're just like yeah it's you know it's my job you know well do you hate it no it's fine what and like you know you're kind of like searching for some big emotional reaction from them and there's just none it's just like yeah it's just fine you know and then then you start talking to them about their the rest of their life and they just come alive you know and that then you can even go back and to be like that well does the does your job like impede on this in any way no do you like your life I love my life it's like oh okay so you know there are different paths for different people so I think that that's you know that's one way to to to look at it you know you have to find fulfillment in what brings you joy yeah you know and if you're you know if if if go like I I am not one of those people okay let's so I think this is important okay I think this is important because I think it's gonna bring some clarity on a distinction because I don't want people to think of it one way you have to understand it's your way I cannot cannot live that life that I just described I cannot go to work eight hours a day doing something that isn't my passion that's my calling yeah absolutely impossible right I tried it a lot and it doesn't work I have to be doing my passion yeah I have to it's just it's not an option if I am not this Glenn's going down man right there's gonna be a horrible crash at the end right no so so it's important to understand you have to find what works for you but if so understanding what works for you now all of a sudden you can start seeing what we're talking about because it's like okay I have to do it I have to do a job that that that makes me feel alive somebody else doesn't oh okay so it's not in a job you know that's not what we're looking for it's it's kind of like an overview of if you like what you're doing and how you're living your life and there's consistent joy and your perspective is appropriate on it you know you can be living actually a very fulfilling life and not feel fulfilled at all because your per your perspective is off you're going well I you know I thought I was going to be a nurse or a life coach and now that I am one this isn't what I expected so now what now I have to see it's all external when we're when we're looking at it like that we it has to come from the inside we have to enjoy what we're doing in our life as a whole and who we are as a person is and why we're doing things and you know that type of stuff that's what breeds the fulfillment I have two really good friends and I feel like they're great examples of both of these situations one of them is that they're both fathers of two young kids and they both love their their family time obviously is very fulfilling and they're they're great dads and one of them has a job that is like he climbed sort of a corporate ladder to the middle and he's he's got a good job but it's you know he does a lot of nights and and whatever and it's not it's what you would say of like do you love your job I don't care you know but his passion is like grilling and and playing baseball and he was never like the star athlete so he was never gonna like become a major league baseball player that just wasn't gonna be in the cards for him but his his job and his life allows him to spend so much time with his kids and to grill and have his big family come over for these for these grilling for these you know cookouts and he literally just was in like the the local summer league world series for adults that play baseball in like the New England area and I think that guy has a really fulfilling life and his job is like not the main part of that meanwhile I have another friend who's a dad of two who is a serial entrepreneur who quit his job started following his passion found a way to make a lot of money doing that got into real estate started flipping doing other stuff wasn't feeling fulfilled even with all of the stuff that he had turned it into now he's like crazy into CrossFit and he's going and running Spartan races like twice a month you know what I mean and they're both living really fulfilling lives in opposite directions and it's like there's no path like that's right that's a cookie cutter path for anybody now you have to find your own and as you've got to find a balance that works for you and it's you know a lot of times we that sounds like such a difficult question to answer and it's really not like I mean if somebody hates their job then you're you know you either have to switch jobs or you you know to find one that's actually most people I'm gonna generalize here a little bit most people that hate their jobs need to have a job that they find their passion in not a hundred percent but most so because like somebody who can just work kind of a menial job that's okay with them they kind of just naturally head in that direction they're really not putting all this outside pressure on fulfillment on their career anyway just because innately they kind of know they're not going to get it there so usually those people like very rarely do you find one of those people that's in a job that they hate and then they're gonna go find a job that that is not fulfilling in any way but it's okay and it's good enough like no probably not if you really hate your job you probably need to find something that you're passionate about you you must you're probably one of those people that needs to find fulfillment and joy in their passion as a career you know by the way like you were just saying like the term menial job you're not saying that as like a negative or a or a insulting or demeaning term at all no not at all that's I it's a term that's used but like the world needs working-class people the world needs middle management god yeah now more than ever you know like and and if that's something that you enjoy or allows you to do something else that you enjoy more but it gives you the freedom to live the life that you want to live that's amazing that's not a you know so so the colloquial term whatever how I mispronounced that but that uh but you know as a menial job or whatever it is like something that you're not on fire passionate about is fine like oh absolutely we did this is great actually it's amazing if that's what you want to do yeah and I mean this is you know it's it's a good point because you know sometimes the way I well I guess probably anybody not just me but the way sometimes things are phrased it can sound offensive even when it's not and and this is a good example of that because yeah I didn't mean it in a derogatory way at all it's it's this is the this is the reason why we have different types of people yeah like it's that you know that's why the system works so perfectly because not everybody is supposed to derive fulfillment from their jobs not on the same level as somebody that's doing something that they're passionate about you know so so people are supposed to be that this is what makes the whole world go you know and I think a lot of times like um the first time I kind of came across this was when I was I I still remember this I was like 24 25 or something and I was moving to Florida I'm moving out of a small town in Massachusetts down to Florida and I was hanging out with some friends and I was like oh my god I gotta get out of this town I can't take it anymore it's horrible I did that you know all just venting so I'd get myself to move you know and I was completely unconscious and you know all of a sudden one of my friends looked at me and he goes well what does that say about us like we're staying here it sounds like you're really putting us down for staying in this crappy town right I'm like no no that's not how I meant it like really to be honest with you I envy you because it would do you know how much easier it would be just for me to stay in my hometown if I could find happiness here that'd be really easy like picking up my entire life and moving 1400 miles isn't doesn't seem like a walk in the park to me there's probably going to be some difficulties there so if I could stay in my hometown this was one you know one obstacle I didn't have to climb over I I'd be cool with that it's just that's not who I am you know so so it's you know a lot of time if if if I could work a menial job and it didn't feel like it was sucking the life out of me that would be good yeah I probably would have been more peaceful a long flipping time ago but I'm not and it you know I tend to be a slow learner so so it took me a while to get here there are I I know personally like custodians who are the happiest people and most fulfilled people I've ever met in my life and I know millionaire business owners who are miserable every single day of their life absolutely and I you know it's it's funny when when I whenever somebody says custodian the first thing I think of instantly is like one of the custodians in my junior high school he was the coolest guy man you know like he like I talked to him about stuff like because I felt so comfortable with him you know he was such a nice guy and I haven't seen him in you know 40 years but like I still remember that he was a cool guy you know and he was a nice guy and I respected him he he was working for a living raising his family like I don't give a crap what you do take care of your responsibilities you know that's that that gives me respect for you you know so it has nothing to do with what society says we is good or not you know it's it's there's there's nothing I I think it's it's it inspires me when I see somebody doing a job that society deems menial and they take pride in it and they're joyful in it that's as soon as I see that that's when I go that person gets it gets it like the big picture what life's about joy I don't give a crap what somebody's doing for their job as a matter of fact it's it's one of the things I noticed about myself generally I don't remember what people do for work yeah I swear to god there's like the way my brain works it like my entire life um unless I make a special point to try to remember I have always been like this I never remember what people do for work ever like I didn't even know what my father did for work like I knew the company he worked for but I didn't know what he actually did people asked me I'm like I don't know like yeah he's in it like yeah well what does he do I have no idea like I don't care no offense I don't care what people do because that's not them you know it's no so even before I woke up I kind of I guess it was a part of me that sense that that wasn't that important you know even if it's a life coach what society says oh that must that must be important and fulfilling and it's it's a job and yes we can we can help others and we can get fulfillment we can get joy out of doing it if it's what fulfills us but if you have a life coach that it's not their passion and you have a life coach that it is their passion the one that it is their passion respect thank you love what you're doing the one who it isn't their passion and they're just out there trying to do it to help people get out of it not impressed pick a different path find your joy you know or or if you want to do it you know like um just to the best of your ability and you can help some people and find your fulfillment and enjoyment elsewhere if you're one of those people cool I get it but if you're not I don't care what your job is and you know even if society deems it as helpful if your life isn't joyful then you need to do some adjusting yeah with your career or with outside of your career or both um something that I think is very just going to time check um something that I think is very uh interesting is I'm working with someone locally right now who is uh we're gonna start a non-profit I'm I mean I'm helping but I'm not starting it uh starting a non-profit that is um a community-based like choir music program uh theater program like community arts um and uh so what I did was just as a just to try um something like the the high school chorus where I grew up has like a hundred students a year and has for the last 20 years a lot of those kids never leave the like three town area where I grew up um and but they all loved this so much so what I did was I made a uh like a Facebook message and I just sent out like feelers to I don't know like a hundred people um and I was like hey uh I know somebody who's building this thing if you or anybody else that you know that like we might have known together might be interested in it just as a fun thing for like adults and all ages to do um I'll let you know when I know more info and I got a 100 response rate of that's amazing uh I've been missing like that aspect of my life music made me so happy this thing that I used to do made me so happy I can't believe that that this might come back please let me know or like I'm actually out of town now but I know five people that still live in the area that would be so psyched about this right um yeah and uh yeah just people that work in town now teachers now that are like oh cool there's something that I could do that would fulfill me even more than I am now exactly and that's you know those when when we're aware of things that we enjoy you know we need to bring them into our lives in one way shape or form and sometimes it's as hobbies it's it's a thing you know people people like don't put enough emphasis on hobbies you know I don't personally yeah I mean it's it's really a big deal that's why you know like I've I've been I mean the last couple weeks has been tough but I've been doing more active things and just going rollerblading and biking more and stuff that's stuff I enjoy I enjoy being active and it's you know my mood goes up and it's it's helpful to do that stuff and it's that's the type of thing we we need to bring all this stuff into our lives because it's it feeds our soul you know that's you know you just reminded me of hobbies that I really enjoy that I haven't done in a long time I mean I was the other day I was literally just playing pass in the backyard with a football with a four-year-old and I was but I was out running routes like yeah and I was like this is so fun this is so much fun this is I feel like this is you giving me so much joy that's it you know that's that's the thing it's funny you say that because I was just watching football yesterday and I saw Jerry Rice you know who's been retired for a number of years out on the field you know running a route and somebody throwing him a pass and him catching it you know and and just like you know stepping in the end zone and stuff and I mean you could he was just filled with joy you know and those are the things that you know as adults a lot of times you know everybody's different in this regard but I think a lot of people sit there and go you know oh yeah I have an opportunity to play you know they're at a picnic and they have an opportunity to play catch with a football and they're like oh no I you know I can't play football anymore you know I'm I'm 52 years old and my career is over like it's not about that man it's just about playing catch you know get off the picnic table and and and catch a couple passes you know it's I mean I found myself doing that you know oh well you know that's the kid the kids play you know and then I get up and get involved and it's like hey this is fun you know it's okay to have fun so I think you know that's that's part of fulfillment so I think fulfillment you know a lot of it it can be in our job it can be in our personal life it can be a combination of both but really the big thing of it is is designing a life that is fulfilling so you know do things that you enjoy embody qualities that you respect you know if if your pa if you're going to do your job as a passion do that if you're going to find fulfillment in your hobbies or your family life do that and do it consciously know what you're doing you know if you can sit down at the end of the day and go wow I really like my life that's fulfilling you know and and to like your life you have to like who you are you have to embody the the characteristics you like like honesty like integrity like being loving being caring being kind being engaged with life you can't sit back and protect yourself not engaging in life and expect to be fulfilled so stop protecting yourself get in the game and stop playing you know and that then you can stop fulfilling yourself I think that this is really ironic this the vlog that you did on this which was like impromptu you just did it in the middle of a bike ride and sent it to me and my computer that I used to edit everything for your stuff was really giving me like a ridiculous amount of issues so I had to download an app and like figure out how to edit this vlog on my phone real quick in a new way like I was like let me let me do this in a new fun way and I had a lot of fun with it and because of that because of this topic this episode that you like were just compelled to record on your phone randomly it completely switched the vibe of the vlog and like there's new music and a new style to everything now because of that moment and it really got me like more interested in editing again and I've been doing that ever since and instead of just kind of the conveyor belt of like this is what Glenn's videos look like and so it has made me more fulfilled and to remember that this was a passion and not just some things on a to-do list I had to mark off you know so and coincidentally the irony of ironies is that right now I think that this might be my favorite podcast we've ever done wow so you're getting fulfilled by the fulfillment aspect of boom billing yeah but that being said we're we're out of time I hope you're fulfilled because that's the end check out everything glennabros.

Com I mean he has content every single day and you know five years of this stuff also we don't say this enough if you like the show subscribe wherever you listen to it and leave a comment and a rating that would be really helpful to help other people find it if you want exclusive content and you really want to help out the show monetarily check out patreon.

Com slash glenn ambros and if you want to work with glenn check out glennambros.

Com because he can work with you anywhere in the world yeah and that patreon.

Com by the way is like monetarily that's 10 bucks a month so it's not it's not much you know and you get all kinds of video content and exclusive content so so yeah check it out all right everybody that's gonna do it for fulfillment I feel fulfilled so thanks for listening and we will talk with you soon hey guys this is Ben check out Glenn's new book down to earth the spiritual beings guide to a happy human experience it's now available for pre-order you can get digital copies paperback copies signed copies and there's a whole bunch of perks order at indiegogo you can check all of that out at glennambros.

Com

Reviews

Great talk! Thank you!

Awesome content today, very thought provoking. Thanks gentlemen 💜x

I have a job that I generally like,and nice co-workers, which means a lot 😉 I work as a Patient Registrar for a hospital, it can be very chaotic. I have had various duties in my 33 years there. Every job has its ups and downs. I am currently recovering from my second major surgery in the past year so my hobbies I would consider to be very low key, walks when possible, cooking, reading, I love
journey meditations as well, as well as others. I enjoy your amusing podcasts and words of wisdom. Namaste 🙏🤗

Thank you for this deeply insightful and important discussion.

Namaste

Brilliant as usual thanks guys ✌️🙏🥰