Let's start this meditation by focusing on the experience of you rather than your thoughts.
So you can visualize this by feeling into your body,
Closing your eyes and letting your center of focus shift from your head down into your belly.
So almost as if you're focusing on thinking with your belly instead of thinking with your brain.
And let whatever you have been through today or where you're going tomorrow or this afternoon,
Whatever is going on in your life,
Let those thoughts and whatever ideas you have about that rest for a while.
These plans or ideas will not go anywhere so you can leave them be.
And instead,
Coming back to the experience of being you.
It's almost like you're giving your body and your life in you some free space.
It's like you're giving up your idea of control and just letting your body breathe the way it wants to,
In the speed it wants to.
And you can just relax into that.
And even if your body starts to relax,
You can still have a curious and awake mind.
Eager and hungry mind for just welcoming and exploring the next sensation,
The next breath.
And just enjoy.
Because what do you really do to get your next breath?
Are you doing anything?
Maybe you think that,
Yeah,
But it's,
I'm breathing.
But I would investigate that a little bit deeper.
Do you agree that your body is breathing?
The body that you experience,
You experience breath.
But you can't really stop it,
Can you?
You can be forced it for a while,
But then it takes over.
As if it's,
As if life is giving you some space to play with itself.
You can imagine that you think you can be the one that you are the one breathing and I can decide when.
But if you don't take care of that in a good way,
Life takes over.
Like a loving parent giving you space to explore,
But still holding you.
Let's shift our focus to your hearing.
Are you hearing or is hearing just happening?
Or you can use your fingers to hold your ears,
But you can't,
But the listening is still there.
Alive in you.
And in the stillness that we share this moment,
Just observe any sounds that you hear.
Where do you actually experience them to be?
Can you experience any separation from where you are and where you find the sound to be?
In the experience,
Not by thinking.
And don't you find all the sounds arising from silence?
And then falling back into silence again.
And can you find any limitation to your field of hearing?
Does it end?
Can you feel it ending?
Or does it just fade out into silence?
And not even that maybe.
Look into your own experience.
Just don't trust anything I say.
Explore by yourself.
Look into what's true for you.
Now let's focus on seeing.
And just put awareness to that fact that you're still seeing even if your eyelids are closed.
Seeing is still happening.
Not any effort from you.
The same way that hearing is happening.
And in the same way that breathing is happening.
What you see when you have your eyes closed is the dark field.
And this dark field that you're seeing,
How big is it?
Do you have a second field of seeing next to it that you can compare it with?
I don't think so.
By experience it's really hard to tell.
The size.
You cannot.
It's just an endless field of darkness in this case.
And also where are you?
If you look at this dark field,
Can you find yourself?
Is there any separation between this dark field and you?
And if we open our eyes and look at the room you're in,
And you can look at any object,
Is there actually any separation between you and the object you're looking at?
You might see distance between objects in your vision,
In your field of vision.
But you as the one experiences,
Do you have any distance to these things?
If you look straight at it,
Where are you?
And all these sensations that we're talking about,
The breathing,
The seeing,
The hearing,
The things you're looking at right now,
Aren't they really showing up inside of you?
Isn't that the actual experience?
If you drop ideas and thoughts,
Anything that we have with us.
And how couldn't it be a piece of you?
This is what you see is all that you are.
It creates the world you're in.
And we're not focusing on thoughts and ideas right now.
We're exploring the experience of you.
And you can close your eyes again.
You can also have the focus on what happens when you open your eyes to you.
You got a lot of your view shifted from this dark field to a field of manifestation of things,
Objects,
Lights.
But did you actually change at all?
I find that I don't.
I find a still place in me that's unaffected,
Whether I have my eyes open or closed.
It's unaffected by what I hear,
What I smell,
What I see.
Can you find the same?
Just by curiosity.
This is an investigation,
It's not about right or wrong,
It's just what do you really experience in this moment?
What is true on that experiential level?
Let's shift to the experiences of your body right now.
Maybe you can feel tingling in your fingertips.
Maybe your palms are warm and cold or cold.
Maybe you experience your hands laying heavy in your lap.
Whatever you experience,
Be curious about where does this experience happen?
You can say that it happens maybe feeling your hands and you say,
Yeah,
It happens in my hands.
But where is your hands really?
If you still have your eyes closed and you drop your ideas,
What do you really experience?
Even if you think that you know that you have your hands there,
Can you really feel all of your hands at the same time or do you actually just feel parts of it?
Or a flickering picture of the parts of your body,
Actually if you put focus on your full body,
At least I cannot experience my full body at the same time.
How is it for you?
If you would draw a picture of yourself,
How you experience yourself to look.
I think that we look pretty,
Pretty different due to the way we are taught that we see with our eyes open that our body looks like in the mirror.
So to my experience,
My body is not limited to the size of my body in the mirror.
Can you feel the same?
I actually find my body to be open and spacious.
Actually I can find no end to it.
It's just a sensation that moves through my body with my breath.
I can feel a feeling of liveliness and beingness in me and that's not limited.
At least that's what I experience.
And if you think of the left hand,
I guess you get a mental picture somewhere,
But is that mental picture on the same place as where your feeling of your hand is.
I find that mental picture being on a screen up in my head area,
But sensation is somewhere else.
So what we are in the idea world and what we actually experience yourself to be can be quite different.
And I find a big,
Enormous gratefulness in the experience of that everything is happening for me,
To me,
Or actually more for me.
Seeing is happening for me,
The hearing is happening for me,
The breathing is happening for me.
So that's not really anything I need to do to get this magical experience of being alive.
And I also feel a deeper relaxation in that way.
I can just relax and trust in whatever this is.
It has been taking care of me pretty well so far in my life.
I think by this deeper knowing we can let this experience of life be more playful and like I think we can let this body play with life in another way.
And you can come back to your breathing again.
Just for a moment experiencing your breath before we end this meditation.
And please share how you found this so I know if it speaks to you.
And thank you for your time.
