The Queen Archetype So when I say the word Queen,
What comes to your mind?
And when we're working with the Queen Archetype,
We're talking more about the essence,
Not necessarily having lots of crowns and jewels,
Though a woman who knows herself.
A woman who stands tall,
Head up high.
A woman who delegates,
Asks for support when she needs it.
A woman who knows her worth,
Knows her value,
Claims that,
And if anyone doesn't meet that,
Or anyone disrespects her in some way,
She knows how to let go,
How to say goodbye.
I got involved with the Queen Archetype many years ago when I had this very powerful experience.
I was sitting in the park with a male friend,
And as we were sat there,
This old lady came up to us.
She was holding a plastic bag,
And inside that plastic bag were different fruits,
Apples,
Oranges,
Bananas.
She wanted to sell them.
We declined politely,
And we started up a conversation,
And in that conversation,
She turned to my male friend and said to him,
Don't you realise that you have a Queen next to you?
And in that moment,
He said,
You're also a Queen,
Pointing out that everyone was a Queen,
Completely disregarding the fact that she had pointed out that I was a Queen sat next to him.
And in that moment,
That was a very clear moment where I had this point of clarity,
And I realised,
Wow,
I need to see the divine in myself,
For myself only,
And quit seeking approval from others,
To quit seeking attention from others,
To stop chasing after the people that didn't really want to notice the Queen within me.
From that moment on,
I decided to reclaim being a Queen,
To really connect to that essence,
That embodiment of what it is to be a Queen,
To reclaim my worth,
To know my worth,
And to really value that for myself,
First and foremost.
I use the Queen archetype as a fun way to connect with that,
And laughing and joking with friends,
Saying,
Yeah,
Connecting with the Queen,
The inner Queen,
I am a Queen,
And recognising the Queen in them too.
And I did this in many different ways,
Treating myself,
Delegating in work when I needed support,
Reaching out,
Asking for help,
Creating a team around me,
I often joke with friends that I have a whole team behind me,
Different therapists,
Different practitioners,
Whenever I need support with something,
I reach out to whoever is an expert in that field.
I started to really honour who I am as a woman,
And I worked with both mind and body,
Really starting to believe that yes,
I am a Queen,
Just as is every other woman,
So to really see it in myself,
For myself.
And the thing is,
When we bring something to our focus,
And we really connect with that,
And we believe it deeply,
Life starts to respond back.
I started to receive emails with the title Queen Emma,
From random people that usually don't ever label emails as Queen Emma,
Completely unaware of the inner work that I was doing.
I was getting these little messages back from life that was reflecting that inner work.
My photographer,
Without realising,
Labelled my file of photos Queen Emma,
And my nephew,
For my birthday,
Instead of giving me a card,
He made me a crown,
Completely unaware of the work that I was doing myself,
Connecting to the inner Queen,
And he said,
Yeah I wanted to make you a crown.
All these little things were reflections of what I was choosing to believe about myself,
For myself.
For example,
I remember one time I was in a restaurant,
And the plate that was in front of me had a big crack in it,
And a big chip,
And in the past I might have just brushed it off and been like,
Okay yeah,
Whatever.
Though this time I sent it back,
And in my head,
I had the phrase,
Would a Queen accept this?
The answer was no.
So having that question in my head,
What would a Queen accept?
Like,
Having some level of worth there,
And really claiming that.
And this is especially useful in dating,
Whereas in the past I might have brushed off little comments,
Or when people go silent,
Or different things that I would call red flags nowadays.
I was starting to pay more attention to these,
And pointing them out sooner,
And really noticing that,
And letting go of people quicker.
Would a Queen accept that?
No.
Okay,
Well then that's something to let go of.
So it's important to find out what the Queen means to you.
If you want to connect to the inner Queen,
What does connecting to the inner Queen mean for you?
Who is the inner Queen?
What does she love?
What does she like?
What are her preferences?
What are her values?
What does she accept in life?
Noticing all these different things,
And really paying attention to that,
And having that in the forefront.
Getting to know your inner Queen,
Because every inner Queen is slightly different,
Whilst there can be similarities of having that sense of greater self-worth,
Each one is different too.
So at a women's circle that I held once,
We were talking about the inner Queen,
Connecting to the Queen,
And I invited them to really connect to this archetype through the body.
Because when we embody things,
When we connect to the body,
To really be that,
Rather than it just being this idea or this concept,
It becomes so much easier to bring that into our life.
So first,
Connecting with the breath.
If you were to have a crown on your head as the Queen that you are,
How would you stand?
How would you sit?
How would you breathe?
How would you talk?
Notice the subtle differences there.
For me personally,
It's noticing that gentle extension upwards,
Almost as if I have this little helium balloon lifting up my head,
So there's a slight rise up of the head,
And it's ever so subtle.
It's not,
I'm above you,
It's here I am.
I'm here,
I'm present,
I'm connected,
And I know my worth.
There's a difference.
It's not this arrogant,
Look at me,
Look at me.
A Queen doesn't need to shout to get attention.
She knows her worth,
She claims it.
Even just sitting there in silence,
Embodying that,
Connecting to that essence can make all the difference.
So deepening the breath,
Allowing the head to rise upwards slightly,
Rolling the shoulders back slightly,
And really standing your ground,
Sitting there,
Standing there.
It's this embodiment of,
I'm here.
It's not an embodiment of,
Look at me,
Look at me.
It's all about,
I'm here,
I know my worth.
And I notice the more I connected to this,
That the less I put up with things,
Especially in the dating field,
I noticed that men would suddenly disappear and then come back and try to want to connect again.
I would think,
I'm not a second option.
I value clarity.
I value when someone is clear and knows my worth and values that.
A great question to ask ourselves in the dating field is,
Am I only desired or am I valued?
There's a difference.
And I think for many women this has been something that they've confused between the two.
I certainly did for many years,
Thinking that attention towards me when someone desired me was that they cared about me,
That they loved me.
And that's not true.
There's a difference when someone truly values you,
Truly appreciates you,
And shows that.
So how do you choose to connect with a queen archetype?
What helps you to connect with a queen archetype?
Are there certain colours,
Certain images,
Certain songs that help you?
What can you do with your body that can help you connect with that?
I have a client who has her queen pose and this is something that she connects to whenever she wants to really step into that sense of confidence.
And you can have fun with this.
You can have as much fun as you like.
Even if you're walking into the shops and they have the automatic doors opening up,
You can imagine that those doors are opening up for you because of the queen that you are.
You can play around with this.
Whatever meaning we attach to things transforms our experience of things.
So if I'm attaching the meaning to opening doors as,
Oh,
Just electronic doors just walking through,
Then that will be the experience that I have.
If I touch the meaning,
The doors are opening for me.
Just having fun with that brings a whole different experience.
So how do you choose to embrace the queen,
The inner queen?
Who is she?
What does she love?
What does she like?
All those questions I asked at the beginning of this audio.
Perhaps writing those down,
Having a list,
Getting clear on that,
Knowing the boundaries that she sets.
And this is something that can help you connect to that inner part of yourself,
That starts to recognize that you are worthy.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of respect.
You are worthy of wonderful experiences and gifts in this life.
You are worthy of abundance.
All of these are possible.
All it takes is for you to start seeing that for yourself.
And if you notice any negative self-talk coming up or thinking,
Oh,
Other people are better than me,
Or I'm not a queen,
Other people are,
Just notice where that comes from.
Often negative self-talk underneath that is the inner child.
The inner child seeking some human basic need,
Whether that's love and belonging,
Significance,
Sense of safety,
Security,
Or something else.
Notice what comes up.
It's not about shoving that negative self-talk away in a box and not connecting to that at all.
It's about listening to it,
Learning from it,
And then connecting to what you love regardless.
I like to see human beings as puzzles.
We have many different parts to us.
We have many different aspects.
And also seeing humanity as a puzzle.
Every single person on this planet forms that greater puzzle of humanity.
If you take your piece out,
The piece that represents you,
Of that greater puzzle of humanity,
The puzzle is incomplete.
There's a hole there.
There's something missing.
You are equal to everyone else.
You are part of that greater puzzle.
You matter.
And you are a valuable piece to the greater puzzle.
So know that.
Breathe that in.
Stand tall.
Head up high.
Shoulders back.
Reclaim that inner queen.
Really know that for yourself.
I am worthy.
I am valuable.
And I choose to reclaim that for myself.
