How Much Is Clutter Costing You? (Live Recording)

One of the best ways to get motivated to declutter your home and life is by becoming aware of how much clutter is costing you physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Discover the real cost of clutter and start taking more intentional and aligned action towards your desired lifestyle.

Transcript

Hello,

Hello,

Hello.

Happy Thursday,

Everybody.

Welcome to another live session with me.

Hi,

Cecilia.

Hi,

CJ.

Hi.

Good morning,

Beth.

How are you guys doing today?

Thank you for showing up.

I am back from my trip.

Hi,

Liz from Brooklyn.

I am connecting from Waterloo,

Ontario,

Canada.

It's pretty close to Toronto,

Like one hour south of Toronto.

Your lives have grown.

Hi,

Cecilia.

Yeah,

There are a few people coming.

Yeah.

Thank you so much,

Guys,

For showing up.

My name is Emilio Jose Garcia,

And if you are new to my lives,

Just say hi.

Say,

I'm new,

Okay,

So that I can see your face and I can say hi.

And last Tuesday,

I had a live program,

But I had to cancel it,

So my apologies about that.

But as I mentioned,

I was visiting in Spain.

Hi,

Ruth.

You are new.

Hi,

Lisa.

Amazing.

You have so much knowledge.

You are an inspiration.

Thank you,

Cecilia.

Hi,

Dawn.

Yeah,

So last week,

Last Tuesday,

Sorry,

I was visiting some friends,

And then we went out for lunch,

And I just didn't make it on time.

I was looking at the clock,

And there is no way I can make it back on time.

So that's why I had to cancel last minute.

But I hope you guys understand that.

But I already said that I program my lives,

But if something happened,

I was on vacation,

So that was the priority.

That was the intention.

And sometimes you have to set your intention and follow through,

Right?

Yeah,

So today's talk,

Guys,

Is all about just having a conversation about the cost of clutter.

And sometimes I find that by understanding how much clutter is costing you,

That will give you an entry point to motivation,

To just to be able to start dealing with it,

Right?

In a way that feels good to you,

Feels inspiring to you,

In a way that invites you to reflect about what's possible,

And it allows you to think and reflect about what is clutter stopping you from doing in your life,

Okay?

That was excellent self-care for you to cancel and spend time with friends.

Thank you,

Beth.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And that was my intention for the trip,

Right?

It was visiting family,

It was visiting friends,

And again,

That day,

The day was cluttered.

This is a great example,

Okay?

So the cost of having a clutter day for me was to miss the life.

But because I set the intention prior to to say,

I am going to do my best,

Okay?

I am going to do my best to make these lives happen,

To make these lives a reality while I'm on motivation.

But I am also aware that there are things outside of my control,

Okay?

Sometimes this happens in other areas of life.

You set the intention,

You do your best,

But there are all the things that are out of your control,

And you just have to align yourself with those things,

Flow through them.

And sometimes that will take you to places that you did not expect or you anticipate,

But you just have to adjust and just go with the current,

Okay?

Hi,

Emilia from Colorado.

Hi,

Sue.

How are you doing?

So,

Guys,

What comes to mind when I ask you,

How much is clutter costing you?

What are some of the costs that come to mind to you?

Just share what's coming up for you rather than me just telling you.

I just want to know what is clutter costing you right now in your life?

What are you not able to do that you could be doing?

So peace of mind,

Brain space,

Takes up my mental energy.

Hi,

Elena.

Peace,

Mental anguish,

Stress,

Mental emotional well-being,

Time.

Okay,

Time I feel as if I do the same tasks over and over.

So,

Beth,

You find that you are doing the same task over and over,

And that's costing you time.

So can I ask you,

Do you feel that you are not being efficient,

Or do you feel that you are doing something that you don't want to be doing?

Like,

What's that,

Why is that coming up for you?

Freedom to do other things.

So Liz,

What other things will you do?

Can't find things quickly.

Movement through my things and my home.

Okay,

Can't find things quickly.

Yeah.

Time spent going through things instead of what I want to do.

Dissatisfaction with an otherwise beautiful home.

I am moving and I have to pay more.

Yeah,

So you are naming a lot of things,

Right?

So let's take it a little bit deeper,

Okay?

Spiritual health,

My environment keeps pulling me down.

Freedom because it's on my mind on the back burner.

For example,

The counters,

I will clear clutter,

Then they get cluttered again.

Okay?

So all these reasons,

Guys,

Are great.

And then I want you to take it a little bit deeper in a sense that if that didn't happen,

So what would you be able to do?

And I want you to be more specific,

Okay?

Because peace of mind,

All those things are great,

But be more specific about,

For example,

If I didn't have clutter in my kitchen,

I will be able to cook more healthy meals.

If I didn't have clutter in my basement,

I will be able to set up my exercise gym.

If I didn't have my calendar cluttered with things,

I will be able to pursue painting because that's a hobby I have.

So I try to find something that is aligned with you,

Something that is exciting to you,

Something that you will feel motivated to take action towards.

Okay?

So what's that for you?

Fear of calling landlord to fix things.

It costs money to buy something again that I can't find.

I will wake up,

Cook breakfast,

Meditate and bright.

So that's what you will do Amy,

Right?

Instead of what you are doing now that I don't know what you are doing now.

Be able to stage my house to sell.

Can get top dollar if it looks cluttered.

Okay?

So you are trying,

You are trying to sell your home for more money so that you can.

Again,

We're trying to go deeper here.

Okay?

Yes.

You inspire me to keep my kitchen counters clear and clean.

And now I cook a lot more.

Amazing Becky.

So you are on the process of doing what you wanted to do and you were able to eliminate the clutter.

So that's great.

Mindy says,

If I didn't have clutter,

I will have a more spacious place for yoga instead of crowded,

Cramped place.

Amazing.

So that's your intention,

Right Mindy?

You want to do more yoga.

You want to stop having distractions and having a cluttered space so that you can just lay your mat easily and just get going with your yoga.

I will have more space for yoga and dancing.

Be free from guilt about not dealing with it.

I will have a functional house to make my work area properly and have my meditation space.

Amazing Juliana.

So how many of you have this written down?

Everything that you are sharing here,

Do you guys have this in a place that you can see it every day to remind yourself of why you want to eliminate clutter from your life?

Do you have it in a place that every time you see it,

You are reminding yourself of the true intentions behind your motivations and why you want to eliminate clutter?

Because this is something that many people forget to do.

I want to invite people to my home and feel proud of it.

Amazing Lisa.

I can enjoy my front room when it's not the place that collects stuff.

Amazing Julz.

And then for you Julz,

I will then say,

Why am I collecting stuff there or why does stuff always end up there?

And then that will help you understand why clutter breeds in there.

Is it because it's a room that doesn't have an intention and then maybe you or family members are just throwing things that they don't know what to do with in there?

Like why is clutter forming in that space?

That's also very important.

My life will be organized enough to stop putting out fires and focus on my book.

Amazing Amy.

Having friends over in Prom 2 instead of planning ahead.

Amazing son.

I will feel more comfortable,

Less embarrassed to host friends over.

So there is a lot of,

There is a common theme here going on with embarrassment,

Right?

Feeling embarrassed,

Feeling ashamed,

Feeling that your home is not representing the person that you want to be.

Feeling that if people come to your home,

They may judge you.

They may see less of you.

I see a lot of that in the threads that you guys are sharing.

And this is something normal that many people are feeling,

Right?

Cause they don't like what they see.

So they don't feel comfortable inviting people over because they feel ashamed that they are not able to maintain their home.

They cannot create a home that looks good to you.

So you don't want to share it with others because you are not feeling comfortable in there or you don't like what you see.

Feeling judged.

If I didn't have clarity in the guest room,

I will,

I will be able to be calm and confident to have the family stay anytime they want to.

Open door policy.

Amazing.

That's a big cost.

Okay.

That's a really huge cost.

That's a huge emotional and relationship cost that because you are feeling that way or because you are being afraid of being judged,

You are stopping people from coming to your home.

You are stopping family members from visiting you.

You are not,

You don't have an open door policy like CJ mentioned,

Right?

Because you don't want people to come and see how you live.

And that's a very,

Very big cost.

The front room is where we put things to deal with later,

Sort through or donate or put in its proper place.

So that's like a landing place that things accumulate jewels.

And then if you don't have a routine,

A maintenance routine of going to that room and dealing with the things on a daily,

Weekly basis,

Then it will start piling up until it becomes an overwhelming task.

And then no one wants to deal with that.

Let me tell you,

No one wants to deal with a pile of things that need to find homes,

Right?

Especially if it's not clear what's happening and why.

So that's something that happens in basements,

In garages,

In spaces that are not high traffic spaces in,

In the sense that you don't use them every single day.

So they are kind of like anything that is not the kitchen,

The bedroom,

The bathroom,

And maybe the living room guys,

You just don't use them as much.

And that's where things end up.

Things that you don't know what to do with,

Things that you don't want to deal with now.

And you just feel overwhelmed by,

You just put it in there.

That unpacked box that you have to open and see what's in there,

But you don't want to do,

You don't want to face that.

You put it in that room,

You put it in the attic,

You put it in the basement because you are avoiding dealing with that.

Maybe something that you have no idea where to place.

You just put it in there,

Get it out of the way,

But then that starts piling up and then it becomes a big task.

No maintenance routine for that room.

And yes,

It is overwhelming.

Same as Jules more on my counters.

You are describing my home office.

Cause many of us have got it.

Imagine if we all just admitted it,

Life will be so much more chilled.

Sun,

That's an amazing reflection.

And I want to talk about that right now.

That's what's coming up for me right now.

That is going to serve you the most.

The first thing that you guys have to do,

It's look inside of you and see what kind of home do I want?

Okay.

So what kind of home do you want?

You,

Yes,

You.

Not your father,

Not your mother,

Not your family,

Not your friends,

Not the neighbor,

You.

What do you want in your home?

How do you want to live?

Because let me tell you that some people thrive in clutter and you may be like,

What?

Some people are cluttered.

They live in mess,

But it's not a mess for them.

They know where things are and they don't care,

But they do care about what other people may think about them.

So that's one that's on the scale.

Okay.

There are some other people that they don't like what they see and they want to change those things for themselves.

They want to create a different home for themselves,

But they just don't know how to.

And because they are not doing that,

They feel embarrassed.

That's another one.

And then there is on the other spectrum,

There are people that feel forced to create a home that is not their home.

It's a home that people will like.

It's a home that people will enjoy.

Family may say,

Oh,

Your home is amazing,

But deep inside you don't want that kind of home either.

So I invite you to really think,

What do I want in my home?

What activities do I want to do?

What kind of environment is going to make me feel well,

Invited?

Okay.

And then when you find that for yourself and you feel well,

You have to own it.

And you have to invite everybody to your home and you have to allow them to see who you are and how you like living.

Okay.

And if you like living with a pile of clothes because that's your laundry system and you don't want to change that and it doesn't bother you,

Just do that.

Honestly,

Just do it.

And if someone comes and gets you,

Just ask them,

Why are you commenting about that?

Like I have a good laundry system.

It's working for me.

And I don't need to have a magazine looking home.

Some of you may want to have a magazine looking home,

But that's your choice.

That's not someone else's choice.

And let me tell you one thing.

When you feel comfortable,

When you can be yourself,

When you can create a home that represents who you are,

Clatter or not clatter,

And then you invite people over and you let them see who you are and you share yourself,

A true person,

With them,

I don't think they're going to care how your home looks like.

They are going to care how they feel with you.

They're going to care about how much fun they have with you,

About how invited they feel when they are in your home.

They are not going to see if you have a magazine on the table or a pile of clothes that is undone,

Laundry or whatever.

And messes happen also temporarily,

Especially parents.

Guys,

If you have kids,

You know how difficult it is to maintain a clatter-free home.

Okay.

And I'm not saying that you need to have clatter.

I'm not saying that.

But I'm saying that sometimes we set such high expectations for ourselves that we just feel paralyzed and we just don't do anything because we don't know where to get started.

So create something that feels good to you and then really talk to yourself.

What do I really want?

Okay.

I want a comfortable,

Clatter-free home where I can focus and feel at peace.

Let me read some of the charts on my counter.

So what's coming up for you guys after this?

Like,

Do you feel that you are being true to yourself?

Comfortable and cozy,

Not a museum.

Yes,

Own it.

I love that.

Yeah,

Guys,

You have to own it.

And if you don't take this step first,

If you don't really check in with yourself and you think,

What do I want?

Okay.

What do I want?

Not my family,

Not my friends,

Not my neighbors,

Me.

What do I want?

What does my partner want?

What does my family,

What do my family want?

Okay.

And then create something that makes you and your family feel good and then maintain that.

Okay.

And then once you have that,

Share it with the world.

However that looks,

If it feels good to you,

Why do you have to feel ashamed?

Why do you have to feel judged?

We are all unique individuals.

We all have the ability to live how we want to live.

Okay.

And we are no one to impose on others how they have to live or how their home needs to look like.

And if that happens,

That's when you set healthy boundaries.

That's when you say,

I really appreciate your comments,

But I feel well in my home,

Or I do really appreciate your comments.

Thank you.

I am working to create something better because I have this plan,

But I'm just in the process of maybe you can help me or do you know what I mean?

Like you can take it in,

You just be,

Or you just have to own your reality.

Okay.

And if your reality right now is that you have clutter,

So you are in the process of understanding your clutter,

You are in the process of changing the flow of your home to create something different.

And that takes time and support and testing.

And that takes time guys.

And the new course that I created,

It will help you just do that.

And it's a 30 day course.

It's the longest course I have ever created.

And you may feel like,

Wow,

That's a really long course.

But in the home,

There are so many things you have to take in account.

And the first 10 sessions,

I dedicated them 10,

11 sessions,

I think,

Just to the first awareness part of understanding your situation,

Understanding the cause of clutter,

Understanding how clutter comes to your home,

Why it's there.

Okay.

And then accepting it,

Embracing that,

And then starting to set new intentions,

Starting to look inside to see what's in there,

What you need out,

And then create a home that represents who you are.

And that takes a lot of mental work.

Okay.

There is a lot of invisible work.

This is how I think I mentioned it in the course.

There is a lot of invisible work that needs to happen for you to be able to physically declare your home.

That invisible work that you don't see and no one sees,

But many people neglect,

It's the work of becoming aware,

Understanding what you really want,

Setting new intentions,

Facing those,

The judgment,

The criticism,

The I'm not good enough,

The I don't know how to do this,

The facing all the emotions that will show up when you are facing your physical belongings,

When you are facing those clothes from your loved ones,

When you are facing that exercising machine that you spend $2,

000 on and you never used,

When you are looking at 20 pair of shoes that you don't wear and you feel guilty.

There are so many things that are going to show up.

Okay.

And if you don't deal with that,

You will not be able to eliminate clutter because you are going to be stuck in that emotional cycle.

Okay.

Emilio,

What if you live with a messy procrastinator?

I've been trying to accept her ways more.

Cecilia,

Part of that course,

It's talking about this,

Right?

When you share the space with someone else,

You need to compromise somehow.

You need to communicate with each other.

So I run into a lot of partners,

Couples,

Flatmates,

Families,

Dynamics,

That they are very different personalities living in the same space.

Okay.

When that happens,

One of the main things is clear communication between all the parties.

Okay.

So that everybody understands how each other is feeling.

If you're facing resistance and the other person doesn't want or doesn't care about how you feel,

Then you have to start creating healthy boundaries and maybe create healthy physical boundaries too,

In the sense that maybe the common spaces need to be something that you both feel good about.

And then maybe your partner has a room and you have a room and then you are no one to tell him or her how to maintain the room and vice versa.

But the common spaces,

You need to find a happy balance that you need to find a compromise.

Sometimes that's easy.

Sometimes that's not.

Sometimes people don't want to do this and you want to do this.

And then you are facing a wall.

When that happens,

If clear communication cannot happen,

And then it gets to the point that you have dealt with all your stuff,

You have declared all your things,

And that person still doesn't see value.

That person still doesn't see the benefits of it,

And they don't even want to see what you are doing or they're not interested in understanding your feelings.

In those situations,

Maybe living together is not a good idea.

Again,

This is a,

I'm no one to tell you what to do.

Okay.

But I will say that if people love each other,

There is always a way to find that happy balance.

There is always a way to find that communication.

Okay.

And that won't happen by judging.

That won't happen by criticizing,

Imposing,

None of that.

That will happen by doing exercises together to understand each other more.

Like,

What do you want as in this space?

What activities would you like to be able to do in this space?

Why do you need to have so many magazines,

So many books?

How do they make you feel?

What will happen if we set a different environment that we both feel well in it?

You have to start thinking about options,

Right?

I feel more calm and more positive energy in each room that is need.

Yeah,

Sorry.

I'm losing track with all the comments and organizers.

Following that question,

Cecilia,

That is what happens to me.

I get overwhelmed with all the clutter and avoid it.

Yeah,

Julien,

And that's normal.

It's normal to feel overwhelmed.

When there is a lot of clutter,

It's normal to don't know where to get started,

Right?

My fiance and I have very different ideas.

When I was single and healthy,

I loved my home.

My fiance said it felt sterile.

I felt so calm every time I opened the door.

Yeah,

Amy,

So you are describing very,

Very different personalities and very,

Very different needs when it comes to physical space.

So your fiance finds your minimalist home that is pretty much empty,

Like,

As you say,

Esther,

There is no personality,

Right?

Some people like to show a lot of personality in their homes by displaying things,

By having stuff.

Some other people,

They don't want anything.

They just want to have plain walls.

And so again,

This is difficult to find in a compromise.

You need to talk to each other.

You need to understand each other's needs and then find that compromise.

So for example,

If that's the case,

Then the common spaces have to be a mix between being estherite,

So very minimalist,

And showing some personality,

Okay?

So you have to have conversations about,

Okay,

How can we create a kitchen where both of our personalities are showing?

And maybe you can be creative about what kind of personality do we have together,

Okay?

Who are we when we are together?

And then describe that personality.

And then find something that represents both of you when you are together.

And then the common spaces will represent that personality,

That identity,

Okay?

Then maybe he has a room for himself.

So that's his personality,

His room.

He has full control in that room.

And maybe you have a room for yourself.

And then you show your personality and you have full control in that room.

If that's an option.

Sometimes that's not an option.

And then you have to find the compromise in every space of your home,

Okay?

So this is how I will probably get started.

But both parties need to be on the same page about being willing to try something different,

Okay?

And if you love each other,

I'm pretty sure both parties are going to be open-minded to,

Let's explore different ways of doing this so that we both feel well.

The fear of judgment is such a prison,

Not just home,

But personal style as well.

CJ,

Again,

You need to own who you are.

You need to own it.

And you have to stop thinking,

You have to stop caring about what other people are going to think of you,

What other people are going to say about you.

Because if you are true to yourself and you are aligned with who you are,

In this present moment,

That's your reality.

You are doing what you think,

What you feel is good to you.

And that may evolve over time.

But if you cannot be yourself,

Embrace who you are on it,

And then move forward with confidence,

Yeah,

It is a prison because then you are not going to be yourself.

You're going to always be paying attention to what others are saying.

And it's very easy to just stay there.

And then you just don't know what to do because you are not doing it.

You are not doing it from inside out.

You are just always paying attention to what others are expecting from you and then try to react to that.

And then that's very,

Very draining.

That's very,

Very unhealthy.

But sometimes we get caught in that and it's difficult sometimes to get out of it.

So yeah,

I understand your pain and it is a prison.

Sometimes I feel that way and then I need to be there with myself and say,

No,

Emilio,

That's not you.

You don't want that.

That's what you decided.

So you have to follow through with that,

With confidence,

With passion,

With creativity.

And when you change,

You just change your approach and it's okay to change.

But then sometimes people don't understand what I do.

People don't understand my choices,

But I also explain them.

When they ask me,

I also explain why I'm doing that.

And then they understand me and sometimes I just don't care to share if they are not interested.

But then you will kind of separate from some people if they are not willing to understand who you are,

Right?

Or if they don't like who you are,

But that's okay.

You cannot please everybody in life.

You will feel aligned with some people and you will not feel aligned with some people and that's fine.

Share personalities.

He does have full control in his room,

Office,

And space.

Yeah,

Emilio,

Like that shared personality,

This is something very important for couples,

Right?

And sometimes business partners or sometimes flatmates that are having a project together,

Like describing that,

Who are we when we are together,

Right?

Who do we want to represent?

What is our identity?

And then coming up with a few sentences that describe who you want to be together,

It's so powerful and it's so inspiring to everybody because you get to have a say.

And then once you describe that personality,

You read it and both people feel really good about it.

Then you are more likely to take action because you are motivated and you say,

Yeah,

That's who I want to be.

And maybe it's a flatmate,

Maybe it's a romantic partner.

Maybe it's a business partner that you are partnering with for an idea.

Maybe,

I don't know,

Could be for anything,

But when you get to share,

To really describe what do I want to be,

Who do I want to embrace,

And what are we doing together?

What are we trying to create together?

It becomes way easier to then create a space that represents that.

So that's an approach that I have seen working well a lot.

From the comments here,

I'm not alone.

CJ,

You are not alone.

We all have some sort of,

Oh,

If I do this,

What's going to happen?

What's my mom going to say?

What's my dad going to think?

What's my neighbor going to think?

What is my friends when they come here and they see this?

It's weird.

You know what I mean?

Yeah,

There are a lot of things like fear of,

And that's normal,

But you have to start owning that because when people see that you are owning that,

When people see that you are being true to yourself,

When people see that it's transparent and you are open and you share what you are doing and why,

The reasons behind why,

And then you are comfortable with that,

They're probably going to feel like,

Wow,

That's so nice.

She's comfortable,

Confident.

She's doing what she feels she needs to do.

And then you're going to set an example and you are going to allow other people to do the same.

Right?

And again,

You are not being in a way,

You're not imposing anything and you are being respectful,

But you also have the choice and the right to be whoever you want to be in your home.

That's your space,

Right?

So you can do whatever you want in there.

When I go to the two people's house,

I never tell them to change their decoration,

Even if I see something that I don't like.

Amazing,

Cynthia.

Of course,

Because it is not your home.

Like in my case,

For example,

I sense when I tell people what I do,

I sense a lot of like people get very concerned.

And sometimes I feel,

I feel that they feel uncomfortable because they feel that I'm going to their home and they feel analyzed.

They feel like,

Wow,

Emilio is a professional organizer.

He's a professional doing this.

He's probably analyzing my home.

He's finding mistakes everywhere.

He's just,

You know what I mean?

And then I sense that.

And I feel like sometimes I don't know how to change that,

But I can sense how they are feeling.

I can sense that they are,

They are defensive.

They are like,

Oh my God,

Like my house is not to the level that he needs.

And it's like,

Oh my God,

Like it's not about that at all.

It's what Cynthia was saying.

I don't care how you have your home.

I care how you feel.

And if you don't ask me for help,

I'm not going to,

I'm no one to tell you what to do or how to do it.

I will never do that.

I will never judge you.

I will never do anything of those things because that's your life.

That's your business.

And some people are not even ready to even contemplate the idea of like,

Sometimes I see people struggling.

I know what they struggle.

I can see it,

But I know I cannot do anything.

And I know I'm not even trying because if they don't ask,

If they don't,

I'm no one to say anything.

Right.

And it's the same for you.

You are no one to tell anyone how to live or how to have their home.

If they ask me for help,

If they ask for your opinion,

Then you can be honest if you want,

But if they don't,

Like you just want to be with them.

You just want to share their company.

You don't care how they live.

Like that's the choice.

Right.

So think about that.

Like that's how you have to behave with yourself.

Just own what you want.

Be clear with yourself,

Be open-minded about it with everybody.

And then all that judgment will just live your life.

It will live your life.

And if people judge you,

Guess what?

It's a problem.

It's not your problem.

If you feel well in your home and you have a home that represents who you are and you feel comfortable in it,

Who cares what other things?

They don't know why you do what you do.

And you can explain that to them if they need to.

Yes.

Only if they ask for help,

That's different.

So I have had an extremely bad experience in my home.

If it doesn't feel like my home now,

Can I change this or is it time to move on please?

So Sally,

Can you elaborate more about that?

Like,

What do you mean you have had an extremely bad experience?

What do you mean by that?

With other people or with your home by yourself?

Or like if you elaborate more,

I can,

I can help you out here.

Yes.

Only if they ask for help,

That's different.

Manny,

I would love to have your advice.

You advise my home.

Manny,

What?

Send me a few photos and I can help you out if you want.

Amy,

Can you elaborate on the shared personality with some examples?

I want to journal on that and then ask my fiance to talk through.

We are moving to a new home and it's already stuffed in closets,

Et cetera.

Okay.

Amy,

I'm going to go there.

And then Sally says someone entered my home and sexually assaulted me.

Wow.

Sally,

That that's a huge thing that happened to you.

That's okay.

So.

So basically someone entered your home,

Like broke into your home and then sexually assaulted you,

Right?

That's I will advise you to.

Yeah.

I mean,

I don't know if it's a safe place for you to be in there,

But I will say that most likely you are going to have now a lot of PTSD in that space and you are going to feel a lot,

Lot of triggers from,

From that physical space.

Most likely.

Uh,

Again,

I'm no one to,

To give you advice on this,

To be honest,

Like,

Uh,

This is a big deal,

But I will say from my experience,

I know that experiences are very linked with,

With physical things are very linked with physical spaces and lots of triggers can happen after you see an object after you enter a room.

Uh,

So there are a lot of things that can happen,

Can trigger you.

And I will say that sometimes removing yourself from that environment can really help you,

Uh,

Start fresh.

Uh,

Lots of people are commenting here.

If you guys have any other advice for her,

Like I personally have never been in that situation,

So I don't feel I'm the right person maybe to,

To give you more advice on that.

But I will say that,

Yes,

Maybe moving,

If you are feeling intense emotions in that space and you are being very triggered,

It's normal and maybe removing into a new environment can be helpful.

Yeah.

But that's something that,

Yeah,

PTZ is real.

And what happened to you is a very,

Very traumatic,

Uh,

Event that honestly,

Like,

Yeah,

You may need professional help.

I will advise you to like get professional help,

Um,

For them to help you go cope with all the emotions that are going to show up and then checking with yourself about your home,

Right?

And,

And maybe you need to move.

Absolutely.

If that feels right to you,

Maybe that's a good move.

Um,

Yeah,

Need trauma for absolutely.

Uh,

And I'm not the right person for that.

Um,

I wish I was,

But I'm not.

Um,

Okay.

Okay.

And then,

Uh,

Going back to Amy's,

Um,

Yeah,

Sorry.

Like I'm,

I'm still like,

I just can't even imagine what,

Like what you're going through.

It must be like,

Wow,

I'm sorry that that happened to you.

I hope that you can find the right help.

And if I can help you in any way,

Let me know.

But when it comes to like physical space,

As I say,

I feel that,

Yeah,

Your emotions are probably tied to that physical space.

I'm probably breaking that can be very helpful.

Uh,

Yeah,

That's nice.

Set your house to like,

Uh,

Do a cleanse.

There are many ceremonies,

Um,

But you just have to do like,

Uh,

An emotional and mental and cleanse.

It's gonna take a little bit of time.

I know.

Yeah.

That's allowing the person to continue the mess,

To measure life up.

How awful for you,

A trauma group perhaps will be beneficial,

Wishing you healing and sense of safety in your home.

Yeah.

And as Claire says,

Um,

We all deal in a different way when trauma appears.

Okay.

We all have different ways to cope with it.

So that's why it's so important that don't try to follow someone else's advice.

Listen with curiosity,

With an open mind,

All the ideas that people share with you.

Okay.

But then see how they see it with you.

Like,

And this is a really good exercise.

And maybe now you are,

I don't know when this happened.

I don't know how recently this happened,

But I know it takes time for you to,

To be able to cope with these things.

The most recent event,

The,

The more emotionally attached you are to it.

But sometimes some people need more time.

Some people need less time.

Some people need to remove themselves completely from,

From the environment and move.

Some people need to do something in that environment.

Maybe a ceremony,

Set different intentions.

Again,

You are the only one who has answers for that.

Just see how things,

How these ideas sit with you and then choose the one that you feel feels the right.

Okay.

Sometimes places trigger.

So to heal moving maybe necessary,

But just explore options.

Yeah.

Explore options.

And sometimes it's a good idea to,

To heal in the same space that it happened.

And that can help you accelerate the process.

But sometimes that,

That may be too much for you,

Right?

And if you just feel anxiety and paralyzed and you just can't process anything,

Maybe that's too intense for you and you need something a little bit,

A different approach,

A more slow pace or maybe,

Yeah,

There are different approaches and I know a professional can help you with that more than I can.

Okay.

So Amy,

Going back to yours,

Exploring the,

The shared identity idea.

So in here,

There is an exercise that I did with my wife and it was called our relationship vision.

Okay.

So basically we did this exercise together.

So first of all,

We did it separately.

So the question was,

What,

What do we want to create as a relationship?

Okay.

What are our values?

What are our,

Yeah,

Core values?

And then we force ourselves to have five to 10 core values that are important for us in our relationship.

So I did that exercise myself and I brought them down in my journal.

And then my wife did that by herself.

And then we got together and then we shared mine.

I read mine to her and then she read hers to me.

And then there were a few that were kind of like,

Oh yeah,

They are very similar.

Right?

So those ones became our main three to five main intentions for our relationship.

Okay.

And then from there,

You can then think about,

Okay,

How can we make this a reality?

How can we create this identity in our home?

What do we need to change?

And then you brainstorm ideas.

Okay.

So I don't know if one core value for you and your partner is to spend quality time cooking together,

For example,

And that's something really important to you.

Then maybe how can we create a kitchen where we can do that together?

And then how can we decorate the kitchen in a way that we both feel invited to cook,

That cooking becomes an experience for us,

And then we can share that together.

So there are different ways,

But getting clear on the intention,

It's the key to create a clutter free space and a space where you feel comfortable.

Does clutter sometimes feel calming to others?

That's a really good question.

And I can say that sometimes clutter can be,

Sometimes clutter can provide some sort of safety,

Feeling safety emotions.

Sometimes people feel,

They feel themselves safe in clutter.

I wouldn't say that that's what they choose deeply,

But there is a pattern that developed that clutter equals safety.

Okay.

For example,

I work with a lot of people who went through a war.

Okay.

And they experienced lack of things.

They experienced lack of not having access to things.

So for those people letting go of things,

It's very difficult because in their nervous system,

They experienced that time where they didn't have access to things easily.

So they remember that and they are afraid that that can happen again.

And I mean,

If you feel deep inside,

Feel deep inside,

It can happen again.

Right.

I didn't experience that,

But for people who did experience that,

Then having clutter,

Having access around them means safety.

Because if that time comes back and they end up not having access to the shop and stuff,

They have an abundance of things surrounding them that can give them things.

Okay.

So it is true that sometimes the clutter is messy and they cannot find what they need,

But that's another story.

But the physical clutter can be calming for some.

It can.

Yeah.

And many times,

Especially for people withholding tendencies,

There is a lot of reasons why they do what they do.

There is always a reason why we do the things that we do.

There is always a reason.

And in some way,

That's serving us.

It's serving us in some way.

We just have to understand how is that serving us?

Okay.

What kind of belief was formed behind that behavior?

And then we need to question that.

Is that true?

Is that still serving me?

Is there anything else that I would like to do rather than doing that?

And then when you confront those things very deeply,

That's when change can happen.

But you have to be open to doing that.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm trying to read some of this.

I'm using ketamine psychotherapy for PTSD and resistant depression.

Just a unique option.

It's helping.

Thank you guys for sharing so many resources and for supporting each other.

Right?

Because sometimes,

Yeah,

Sometimes places triggers to,

Yeah,

It's so nice to have a community where people are supporting you in a loving way.

Emilio,

I have a request idea.

People are still writing in the chat about trauma.

Many of us are survivors.

Maybe we can time it.

Take literally one minute to send loving kindness in silence.

I didn't hear a word you said.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We can do that if you guys want.

I think that will be a good idea.

Some of us have no money to replace things or buy what we need.

Okay.

So guys,

Let's take,

Let's do together,

Let's do together one minute of silence.

Okay.

And in that minute of silence,

Let's just send whoever we want in the chat good vibes.

Let's just send them love.

Let's just send them courage,

Whatever you want to send them.

Just close your eyes.

Just breathe.

And then just think in your mind,

Just send that person,

Whoever person you feel you can send them energy,

Love,

Whatever you need.

Just,

And ourselves,

Of course,

Just do that.

Okay?

For just a minute,

A couple of minutes.

I will bring you back.

Okay?

A minute,

A couple of minutes.

I will,

I will bring you back.

Okay.

Okay.

So so hmm When you feel ready,

You can come back.

I really appreciate you doing this.

It is proven that sending energy worldwide,

It's a reality and we have the ability to do that.

And right now there are 175 of us here.

So I hope that everybody got what they needed from each other.

Lisa says,

I hope this is covered again in the future.

Lisa,

What do you want to cover again the are you talking about the trauma?

Are you talking about the cost of clutter?

Emilio,

In many ways,

It seems,

It seems trauma and clutter go hand in hand.

Have you researched this?

Yeah,

Charlotte,

Absolutely.

In the course that I created,

And in the self,

No,

In the course that I created in the Creating Your Clutter Free Home,

One of the resources that I shared in that,

In that,

In one lesson is an exercise called the Life Stress Inventory.

Okay.

And that's an exercise that is guiding you through different questions.

Just asking you if specific events have happened recently in your life.

And those events can be traumatic events in some sort.

So for example,

There is on the top of the list,

It's like a,

Like getting a divorce,

Someone,

A loved one passing away,

Being assaulted,

Stuff like that.

And then it goes down and down and down.

And then there are specific things.

Sometimes even going on vacation is in there.

Christmas is in there.

Moving to a new home is in there.

Having a change in your work environment,

It's in there.

And every,

Every one of those events have a,

Have points.

And then you will add those points and then you will rate the stress that you are going through.

Doing that exercise is so powerful because many times we are not aware of everything that is happening in our lives and how those things are affecting us.

And when those things affect us,

Emotionally speaking,

That's a trauma.

That's,

That's something that is shocking us,

Right?

That's something that is making our lives a little bit challenging.

When we are facing that,

If we cannot cope with those emotions quickly enough to recover,

It's normal to feel drained.

It's normal to feel stressed,

Overwhelmed.

And that takes over to the point that we don't have control of our lives anymore.

We go down that path where we don't see a way out.

We don't see where to get started.

We don't have the energy to do it.

We don't have the time to do it.

And then we go down that rabbit hole and then it becomes very difficult to get out of it.

Okay?

Because everything seems impossible.

From that point,

Everything seems so difficult and impossible.

But when you start climbing out of that hole and you do that through self-care,

You do that through simplifying your life.

You do that through getting support.

You do that through being willing to explore why you feel the way you do by owning how you feel,

By accepting it,

By then moving forward to the next feeling available to you.

Then you start climbing up and then hopefully you start taking control over your life,

Whatever that means.

Okay?

Because we never have full control of our lives,

But you start setting intentions and you start getting in a different flow in life,

In a flow that feels a little bit more aligned to you.

Okay?

When you are facing those challenges,

When you are facing,

Like,

For example,

What happened today,

That person was assaulted.

Like,

It needs a period of time to cope with that.

Sometimes it's a lifetime,

Right?

But you won't have as much energy,

You won't have as much motivation temporarily to deal with things.

So if you have a few things happen to you at the same time,

Then it becomes more complicated.

And then clutter is a result of you neglecting taking care of your home because you just don't have it.

You don't have the energy.

You don't have the time.

You don't have the motivation.

You don't have the intention.

Okay?

So absolutely.

Thank you,

Emilio,

For holding a safe space today and for being a humble facilitator.

Oh,

You're welcome,

Jen.

My pleasure.

I have to go.

I just happened to click on this slide between patients.

Wow.

I needed to show up here for myself too.

Love and healing.

Thank you so much,

Jen,

For showing up.

And this space is what it is because of you guys.

I just click here and try to do my best,

But you guys bring the energy,

You guys bring everything to this space.

So thank you for that.

Yeah.

Thank you,

Emilio,

Clutter.

Oh,

I lost it.

Sorry.

I'm trying to read a comment on clutter and how to diffuse,

How to learn,

How PTSD is attached and cleared.

We played the brain injury.

Yeah.

Okay.

Love was very confusing when I was young.

Check out Dr.

Helen Fisher talks and book the anatomy of love.

My partner and I are complete opposites.

After 30 years,

Rediscover a key is I am love.

Bring love to every space,

Every conversation.

Yeah.

Thank you guys.

It was very nice to do this talk today.

I think the main takeaway from today's talk is that life happens.

Okay.

Life happens in ways sometimes that we don't expect.

Life happens in ways that sometimes we don't know how to deal with.

And the only thing that we have is the intention.

And the only thing that we have,

It's our intention.

The only thing that we have,

It's love.

It's our willingness to do our best.

So with that in mind,

The only thing that you have,

It's your intention.

Imagine that you have a remote control.

Okay.

Life is chaos everywhere.

It's happening everywhere.

It's infinite.

You cannot consume as much information.

You cannot deal with everything that's happening.

You cannot control anything that's happening.

Right?

The only thing that you can do is tune into channels when you want to.

Right?

So you have your remote control and then you will tune into your,

I'm going to tune into this channel now.

Today,

You chose to tune into this life.

So you got your remote control and you press the button to be there.

Okay.

And you have spent a full hour here.

So that was your channel.

Now,

When we finish the talk,

You are going to grab your remote and you're going to press something different and you're going to do something different.

In my case,

I'm going to spend time with my wife because I've been two weeks away.

That's my channel after this life.

Okay.

For you,

Maybe cooking lunch for you,

Maybe talking to someone or maybe meditating,

Or maybe if you don't take the remote and push a button,

Then the universal chaos is going to get,

Going to control what you do.

Other people are going to control what you do,

And then you will feel out of alignment.

Okay.

So I will invite you to take your remote control and then think about what do you want to push next?

Okay.

What do you choose to push next?

You have that choice,

Even if you don't know how to do it,

But you have the choice of,

I want to tap into this now.

Okay.

And I invite you to do this throughout your day and throughout your week.

That's why I have exercises I always share with you.

Deciding your ideal week.

That's nothing else than grabbing your remote control and deciding to push something.

You decide to push a button,

Not someone else.

You decide when you do self-care.

You decide when you are going to deal with that emotion that is bugging you.

You decide when you are going to have that conversation with that person,

When it feels right.

You choose what kind of home do you want?

And if you don't know,

You choose to research what kind of home do you want,

Or you choose to move forward towards whatever you are trying to create.

And the only thing that you can do is decide to push a button.

Okay.

Which one?

That's your choice,

But choose something.

Okay.

Choose something.

Because even if you make a mistake and you choose the wrong one,

At least you are choosing that.

You will become aware of it and then you will press something different.

Okay.

And just allow for things to flow a little bit more.

Allow for things,

Don't try to control everything to the detail.

Allow a little bit of magic.

Enter your life.

Sometimes we don't need to have all the answers.

Okay.

We just need to push the button.

Okay.

When you push the button of your remote on your TV,

Do you need to know how it works?

Do you need to know how to produce the show that you are watching?

Do you need to know how the remote controls the TV?

You don't need to know any of that,

Right?

The only thing that you are choosing is,

I want to laugh.

Comedy.

I want to learn.

Documentary.

I want to relax off.

I need the structure on.

You know what I mean?

You are choosing the intention behind what you are trying to watch.

You do the same on your phone.

You do the same in every area of your life.

And you don't have to understand everything.

Okay.

You don't have to control everything.

Sometimes things just happen.

So I invite you to just do that.

Choose something.

Okay.

Start setting the intention and transition through things throughout your day.

Okay.

When you finish the life,

Ask yourself,

Okay,

What do I want to do now?

And choose something.

And then own it.

And then choose something else.

Okay?

Okay.

Now go hug Samantha.

Yeah,

Eva is in daycare,

But I took her to daycare this morning.

And she is in daycare.

Sorry to repeat.

Emilio,

You shared in your self-care course about your history with trauma,

Maybe a life on the connection between credit and trauma.

Okay.

I will think about it.

Okay.

I will think about it.

See what kind of approach I can be sharing with you.

But yeah,

I'm happy to share from my own experience of the trauma that I experienced myself.

But it's nothing to do with assault or anything like that.

But yeah,

Everybody goes through some sort of trauma and trauma and I'm happy to explore the idea and then create a life about that.

Okay.

Thank you for empowering us to choose the next thing we will do,

Such an empowering awareness.

Yeah,

Guys,

Do that.

Because if you don't do that,

Something,

Someone else is going to do it for you.

And then you are going to tap into a channel that you're going to probably dislike.

So start taking ownership of your life.

Start taking control of what you are doing.

Because your intention is your intention,

And you can select what you want to,

Where you want to place it.

And let me tell you one thing,

Where you place your intention,

That's where your energy goes.

That's where your creativity goes.

That's where your time goes.

And when you start selecting things,

You are going to stop tuning into things that you don't want.

And you are going to start seeing more of what you want.

This is the power of this.

When you start taking ownership of your choices,

You are going to start seeing in your life more of what you like and less of what you dislike.

Okay.

Could you please list some tasks,

List guidelines for this class in your circle?

Okay,

Jesse,

I will try my best,

But I know that Amy does a great job of sharing after the life.

So Amy,

If you feel comfortable and you have your journaling stuff,

I am more than happy if you do that.

But if not,

I will think,

But yeah,

Like just take this from this talk.

Push the next button.

You choose.

Okay.

Just make sure that you are choosing throughout your day,

Throughout your day,

Where you are tuning into next and set the intention.

That's the biggest takeaway from this session,

Because when you start doing that,

Everything else is going to start changing in your life.

Clutter is going to start disappearing from your life because you are going to be more intentional.

And when you are intentional,

There is no room for clutter because you are aligned.

You are clear.

You are confident and you will make decisions easily.

You will create a space that represents you.

You will be able to communicate with others easily.

You will not care what others think of you because you feel well.

You know that you are doing what you have to be doing and it feels good.

Okay.

And then everything else dissolves.

So bring more intention into your life.

We take turns with suffering.

Choose partner wisely as suffering is part of life.

Choice is true freedom.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Guys,

Thank you so much for tuning in.

Thank you so much for sharing your time and your energy and your love with us.

And then I will see you next week on Tuesday and I will try and follow your request.

Okay.

What's the circle?

My circle is your thriving lifestyle.

If someone can type that in the chat,

Please do.

Yeah,

You can join the circle.

I have three other courses that you can check also.

One is about self-care.

The other one is about minimalism.

And the other one,

The new one is about how to create your clutter-free home.

Okay.

If you join any of my courses,

Please engage in the course classroom.

That's where you can get my support.

I will share an audio response with your situation,

Helping you out.

Just sharing what I feel can be helpful to you at that moment and just share as much as you need.

Ask as much as you need.

That's what the class is for.

Okay.

And check out,

I have workshops coming on in January and February.

They are live now,

So you can find them on my profile and the workshops.

Just make sure that you check them in and then they will be through video conference.

Okay.

That will be way more engaging because I will be able to see you.

I will be able to chat with you live and it's going to be more about the experience and less about the theory behind things.

Okay.

Yeah.

Amazing guys.

Have a wonderful rest of your day and an amazing weekend.

And I will see you on Tuesday at the same time.

10 AM.

Okay.

Adios.