Overthinking? Try Using THINK

22:32

Overthinking? Try Using THINK

by Elizabeth Cronin, PsyD

Rated

5

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

5

Do you ever replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or spend hours trying to think your way to certainty? In this video, I share a simple five-question practice that can help interrupt an overthinking spiral. The THINK method is often used as a communication tool before speaking, sending a message, or posting online—but we can also use it to become more thoughtful about the way we speak to ourselves. When a repetitive thought is taking up too much mental space, pause and ask: Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? Please note that this practice is intended for general support and does not replace professional mental health care.

Inner Critic Reframing Practice Contemplative Inquiry Self Coaching Practice Overthinking Reflection Mindfulness Psychological Safety Emotional Resilience Overthinking Management

Meet your Teacher

Elizabeth Cronin, PsyD

Norwood, MA, USA

Meet your Teacher

Elizabeth Cronin, PsyD

Norwood, MA, USA

Transcript

Have you ever lain awake at two in the morning, Replaying a conversation from three days ago? Maybe you're editing what you said. Imagining what you should have said. Or trying to figure out what the other person must now think about you. Or perhaps your mind prefers the future. You're lying there thinking, What if this happens? What if that goes wrong? Or what if I make the wrong decision? And before long. . . You've spent an enormous amount of mental energy trying to solve something that either cannot be solved right now, Or may never happen at all. So if this sounds familiar, You're not alone. I know I've dealt with this myself. And today I wanted to share. A simple five-question practice that can help you interrupt an overthinking spiral. So it's called Think. T H I N K And you may have seen the THINK acronym used as a communication tool. It's often shared as a reminder to pause before speaking or sending an email or posting something on social media. The idea is that before you say something or post something, You stop and ask. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary and is it kind? That is certainly a wise or thoughtful way to communicate with other people. And I started wondering. If we are trying to be thoughtful about what we say to others or what we post online. Why wouldn't we be just as thoughtful about what we are repeatedly thinking or saying to ourselves? Because the truth is. . . Many of us would never speak to another person in the way we sometimes speak to ourselves, Through our thoughts. And yet those thoughts are allowed to run through our minds repeatedly, Sometimes taking up enormous amounts of space and time. Attention, And energy. So today, I want to adapt that think practice and offer it to you as a tool for working with overthinking. So let me digress for a minute and say something about why we overthink. From a psychological standpoint, Overthinking is often the mind's attempt or the brain's attempt to problem solve. When we feel uncertain, Embarrassed, Threatened, Or out of control, The brain goes to work. And that's because a key task for the brain is anticipating problems and keeping us safe. So when it switches into high gear, The brain's just doing its job. But the problem is that the mind often locks onto situations it cannot actually solve. It tries to change a past that has already happened, Or it's trying to control another person's opinion. Or it's trying to guarantee the outcome of a future that has not yet arrived. And because it cannot find certainty, It just keeps circling. And the thoughts get stuck on repeat. At that point, We are no longer productively reflecting. We're just ruminating. Because productive reflection usually leads somewhere. It may help us understand what happened, Could help us make a decision, And sometimes it can help us repair a relationship. Rumination keeps us circling the same block over and over. We continue thinking, But we're not actually moving forward. The mind is often trying to think its way out of an uncomfortable feeling. And feelings don't respond very well to an argument. So this is where the STINK approach can be helpful. Because it gives us a way to step back from the thought and examine it. Rather than automatically believing it. So one important point before we begin. The purpose of think is not to put every thought on trial. You do not need to run every passing thought through all five questions. I mean, That could easily become another form of overthinking. Instead. Use this approach when you notice that a particular thought has become sticky or repetitive, Painful. Consuming. Let's walk through the five questions. And this is going to take a couple of minutes, But it's worth it so that you get a real feel for it. The first is the T, The T of think. And that is, Is this true? When we're caught in overthinking, Our minds often present assumptions, Predictions, And fears as if they are established facts. So we might have this idea, I have embarrassed myself, Or. I'm sure they're upset with me. I know I'm going to make the wrong decision. Or maybe. . . Things are going to turn out badly. And these thoughts, They can feel completely true. But a feeling of certainty is not the same as evidence. So? We pause. And we reflect on the T of think, And we ask ourselves, Do I know that this is true? What facts or evidence do I actually have? Am I making an assumption? Could there be another explanation? And so here's an example. Maybe you've sent someone a message and they've not responded. Your mind might immediately say to you, I know they're angry with me. Is this true? You know, It could be possible. But it is all a possible. That the person's just busy or distracted or overwhelmed or simply hasn't even seen the message yet. So the most accurate answer to, Is this true, Might be, I don't know. And sometimes admitting that we don't know is just enough to loosen the grip of the thought. Now, There may also be times when part of a thought is true, But the mind has taken that truth and expanded it into something much larger. So maybe you did say something awkward. And that does not necessarily mean that you have ruined a relationship. Or maybe you made a mistake. And that doesn't mean that you always fail. Or maybe someone is disappointed in you. But that doesn't mean that you are a disappointment. So asking whether a thought is true helps us separate what actually happened from this bigger story that the mind is building around it. That's the first step. Then we go to the H of think, And we say, Is this thought helpful? A thought can contain some truth and still not be helpful. Perhaps you did say something you regret. And thinking about it once might help you recognize that you need to apologize or do something differently the next time. But replaying it for the 50th time at two in the morning. Probably no longer helpful. So you might ask. Is thinking about this helping me understand something? Is it leading me toward a useful action? Or is having this thought over and over again simply making me feel worse? This question helps us distinguish between reflection and rumination. Reflection says. I wish I had handled that differently. Is there something I can do to repair it? While ruminations has I can't believe I did that. Why do I always do this? What is wrong with me? One leads toward learning and action. The other. Leads toward shame and exhaustion. So you might also ask. Have I already thought about this? Sometimes the mind keeps returning to a problem because it believes that more thinking will eventually produce certainty. But there are situations in life where certainty simply is not available. At some point, Continuing to think is not helping us prepare. It is only keeping our nervous system. Activated. So asking if a thought is helpful. Can be important. Then the next thing we do is we move on to the I of think and we ask, Is this thought inspiring? And I want to clarify what I mean by that. Because I don't believe that every thought needs to be positive, Uplifting, Or pleasant. You know, Some thoughts are difficult, But still important. A thought might challenge us to face something or take responsibility or set a boundary or make an important change. So when I ask whether a thought is inspiring, I mean. Does this thought move me toward the person I want to be? Does it inspire me? To move in a good direction. Does it encourage? Courage, Honesty, Growth, Or wise action. Or does it leave me feeling ashamed, Defeated, And powerless? So again, Let's look at an example. Say, I think, I handled that badly and I want to make things right. That thought might be uncomfortable, Doesn't necessarily feel good, But it could inspire growth. Now, By contrast, If I have the thought, I ruin everything. That thought does not offer any direction. It doesn't help us learn. It simply turns one painful experience into a judgment about who we are. An inspiring thought. Does not have to make us feel good, But it should move us towards something constructive. So it might sound something like. This is difficult. But I'm going to take one step at a time. I may not be able to control the outcome. But I can choose how I respond. Or maybe. I made a mistake? And now I'm learning from it. You know, Those kinds of thoughts acknowledge reality. Without abandoning hope. Or a sense of agency. So that's the inspiring question. The next. Is the end of thinking. And that prompts us. To ask. Is this thought. Necessary. And this question can be especially helpful. When thoughts arrive at the least useful times. Maybe. This issue that you're thinking about really does matter. And maybe there is a decision that you need to make or a conversation that you need to have. But doesn't need your attention right now. Do you need to solve it while you are trying to sleep? Or trying to get some work done. Do you need to be thinking about it while you're spending time with your family or while you're trying to focus on something else? The mind often treats every concern as if it's urgent. But important and urgent are not always the same. You can acknowledge a thought without giving it unlimited access to your attention. We might say. This does matter. But I do not need to solve it right now. I think I'm going to write this down so I can come back to it tomorrow. And when we do this, We're not. Practicing avoidance. I mean, Avoidance is refusing to look at something that genuinely needs our attention. This is really about discernment. Because discernment is recognizing when continued thinking is no longer useful and when choosing a better time to return to the issue. Makes more sense. At this point, Sometimes the answer is yes. Is it necessary? Yes. And sometimes the answer is, Is it necessary? No. And you may realize that you do need to make a phone call to gather some information or have a difficult conversation. And then, Of course, That's useful information. The goal? Isn't to dismiss every uncomfortable thought. The goal is to determine whether the thought requires action or whether it's simply demanding more mental airtime. Now we're ready for the K of Think. And when we get to this part, We finally ask. Is. This. Thought. Kind. And this might be one of the most important questions. Many of us speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to a friend. We tell ourselves things like. . . I'm so stupid or. I should have known better. I always mess things up. No one else struggles with this but me. Sometimes we'll say, What is wrong with me? And we may believe that this harsh voice is trying to keep us accountable or pushing us toward better behavior. But cruelty is not the same thing as accountability. Self-criticism may temporarily create a sense that we are taking this situation seriously. But it often leaves us feeling ashamed. Immobilized. And even more likely to keep ruminating. Kindness does not mean pretending that everything went perfectly. It does not mean making excuses. And it does not mean avoiding responsibility. Means telling the truth without cruelty. This is very similar to the practice of self-compassion, Which reminds us to speak to ourselves as we would speak to someone we care about. Imagine that a close friend came to you and said, I said something awkward in a meeting and I can't stop replaying it in my mind. You probably wouldn't say, Wow, You should be embarrassed. Everyone must think you're incompetent. No. I mean, You'd probably say something like, I know that felt uncomfortable. But one awkward moment does not define you. Is there anything you need to do now? Something you could do to let yourself move on. We can begin to offer ourselves that same wisdom. Instead of thinking and saying to ourselves, I'm such an idiot. Why do I always do this? You might try. I wish I handled things differently. I was anxious. And I'm still learning. And instead of. I know I'm going to fail. You might say. I'm worried about the outcome. But I really don't know what will happen. And instead of. I should be over this by now. You could try. This is taking longer than I hoped. I can be patient with myself while I work through it. Kindness changes the tone of our inner world. And when we are less busy attacking ourselves, We have more energy available to respond wisely. To make repairs. To move in a direction of growth. Let's try this together. Bring to mind one thought that has been on repeat for you lately. Choose something relatively manageable. Don't pick the most painful thought that you've ever had. You know, Perhaps it's something like. . . I think I embarrassed myself, Or. . . I think. So-and-so is disappointed in me. Or even I'm never going to get everything done. And then take a deep, Slow breath. You don't need to get rid of this. You just want to create a little spacer. And now askers. Is this thought completely true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it moving me positive direction? Is it necessary? Doesn't need my attention right now. And finally. . . Is it kind? Would I speak this way to someone I care about? And when you use this approach, You may not get clear answers to every question, And that's okay. Perhaps just one of the questions helps shift something for you. Maybe you realize that the thought is not entirely true. Or maybe it contains some truths, But it's no longer helpful. Or maybe the thought matters, But you don't need to solve it tonight. Or perhaps you've recognized that. There's a kinder, More accurate way you could speak to yourself. All of those would be small shifts that really matter. So in closing, I just want to remind you that the purpose of mindfulness is not to stop thinking. And the goal is not to create an empty zen-like mind. The goal is to become more aware of what the mind is doing. And to become more intentional about which thoughts we choose to believe. To follow, And to feed. This think practice reminds us to ask. Is this thought true? Is this thought helpful? Is this thought inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? We are often encouraged to use these questions before we speak to another person or post something on social media. But the words we repeat privately, They matter too. Because they shape how we feel. They influence how we see ourselves. And they take up real mental space and energy. And not every thought deserves that space. The next time your mind begins circling around the same painful story. Pause before automatically following it. Take a breath. And before you believe that thought, Try. Think. So if this resonated with you, I hope I'll see you in the next video. Until then, Take care.