RAIN Practice: Meditation - Working With Difficult Emotions

This is a guided meditation for working with difficult emotions. It uses the practice of RAIN to Recognize, Accept, Investigate, and Nurture the self while exploring the complexity of challenging experiences. Observing and accepting what feels uncomfortable creates an opportunity for a greater understanding of self and of others. It also fosters personal growth and healing. When practiced on a regular basis, this meditation can help with distress tolerance and emotion regulation.

Transcript

Welcome to this practice of RAIN.

R-A-I-N.

Where R stands for recognize,

A for acceptance,

I for investigate,

And N for nurture or nourish.

RAIN is a powerful practice to use when you feel stuck on thoughts or flooded with intense feelings.

It provides a way to acknowledge,

Process,

And release the energy of our emotions.

To be fully alive means to feel things,

Both pleasant and unpleasant.

As human beings,

We all get caught in situations where thoughts and feelings become heated.

In these moments,

We might do or say things that don't feel good.

When we use the practice of RAIN on a regular basis,

We increase our capacity to recognize,

Accept,

And manage feelings.

This allows us to fully engage with life.

So let's start.

Find a comfortable position and begin to settle yourself.

At this point,

You might want to close your eyes or lower your gaze to a place on the floor.

Next,

Gently bring your awareness to your breath and to your body.

Allow yourself to inhale deeply and exhale slowly.

Breathing deeply increases the oxygen entering your bloodstream and begins to slow your heart rate.

This allows your body to enter a more restful state.

As you inhale again,

Notice any areas of the body that feel tight and see if you can soften them.

Let your shoulders drop.

Relax any muscles around your neck and in your face.

Move your attention down to your chest,

Arms,

Hands,

And fingers,

Releasing any constriction.

Soften your belly.

Relax your legs and your feet.

Breathe in and breathe out,

Slow and deep.

In this more restful state,

I invite you to recall a situation in which you feel or have felt stuck.

It's best to do something that is challenging but not too critical.

Bring the details of the situation into your mind,

Remembering any sights,

Sounds,

And other aspects of the experience.

Where are you?

Who are you with?

What is happening?

Now,

See if you can sense the uncomfortable feelings associated with your experience.

Maybe you notice fear,

Anger,

Confusion,

Or sadness.

When these types of feelings are intense,

We often can't think clearly and tend to react in ways we might not otherwise.

We can feel overwhelmed and sometimes out of control.

What happens for you when you are in this difficult situation?

Do you cry,

Yell,

Or blame yourself or others?

Maybe you lash out or storm away.

Perhaps you give up or give in.

It's important to remember that as human beings,

Everyone experiences difficult emotions,

And no one is above reacting in ways that don't feel right.

So,

Be kind to yourself as you continue this practice.

Again,

With this memory in mind,

I invite you to work through the practice of RAIN.

We begin with R,

Which stands for recognizing.

As you recall the specifics of your situation,

Can you recognize the thoughts and feelings that accompany what's happening?

Are you aware of a story that's being created?

Can you recognize specific feelings or maybe a mixture of feelings?

Perhaps you notice fear,

Anger,

Disappointment,

Or sadness.

Maybe you're experiencing confusion,

Shame,

Or embarrassment.

As you continue to breathe in and out slowly and with intention,

Simply recognize whatever shows up.

Maybe you notice you're making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

Are you aware of a critical voice that might be judging,

Comparing,

Or evaluating?

Maybe there's a sad voice that feels like a victim.

Again,

Simply recognizing whatever thoughts and sensations are present.

Checking in with your body,

Do you feel any pulsing,

Pinching,

Throbbing,

Or pulling?

Are you tensing or clenching muscles?

Are there any areas that feel constricted or tight?

See if you can recognize these sensations and recognize their intensity.

Do you notice any heat,

Pressure,

Tension,

Or heaviness?

Spend a moment just recognizing the range of thoughts and sensations that are right here,

Right now.

Now we'll move to the next phase,

The A of RAIN,

Which stands for Allowing or Accepting.

As you've probably noticed,

Unpleasant thoughts and emotions stir uncomfortable sensations in our bodies.

In response to this pain,

Our instinct is to protect ourselves,

To fight back,

To flee,

Or to do something to get rid of the pain.

We might try to ignore our feelings and pretend that things are okay,

Or maybe we want to run away in order to avoid what feels hard.

We might want to numb our pain with substances or activities,

Or we might try to think of a strategy or solution that will spare us.

Instead of indulging in any of these,

In this guided meditation,

You're going to stay still and simply allow any and all thoughts and sensations to be here now.

As uncomfortable as it feels,

You can accept whatever shows up.

You may notice that your mind wanders and you have thoughts such as,

I can't stand this,

Or this is too painful,

Or I want to quit,

Or maybe I don't like this.

If this happens,

You might try reassuring yourself,

Saying,

It is okay.

I am okay.

I can be with this.

I can be with this.

If you are feeling panicked or experiencing intense pain,

Trust yourself and stop the exercise.

Take care to soothe yourself or seek some support.

And if you are still here and connected with the situation you've called to mind,

You might try offering the simple phrase of equanimity and acceptance.

Right now,

This is how it is.

At any point,

If you notice that your mind has started to wander,

Simply bring your attention back to your breath and to your body and do so with gentle,

Loving kindness.

Staying present with what is here now,

You can move on to the eye of RAIN,

Which stands for investigating.

In this phase,

You move beyond allowing and begin to investigate.

That is to take a closer look at what you are experiencing.

Like a detective trying to solve a problem,

You bring curiosity to your experience.

Allow yourself to wonder why you are having these particular thoughts.

Why these particular feelings?

Why these sensations in these specific areas of your body?

You might wonder what might these thoughts,

Feelings or sensations be trying to tell you.

What do they indicate about you?

What do they indicate about how you think about others or about life?

What is it you are telling yourself?

What is it you are believing about yourself?

Do you believe that you are failing in some way?

Are you worried about being rejected,

Left out or left behind?

Are you worried that something bad is going to happen and that you are not prepared or won't be able to handle it?

Are you feeling flawed,

Unworthy,

Undeserving?

Are you concerned that you'll never be happy or that you'll never be good enough or have enough?

Notice whether there is a distinct belief that stands out amongst the crowd of thoughts and feelings.

Checking in with your body again,

Can you sense the level of intensity of your feelings?

When we give some time and pay attention to our experience,

We sometimes feel a slight shift in the intensity of our discomfort.

By allowing what's difficult to be present and taking time to understand the deeper feelings and scary beliefs that hide beneath distress,

You give yourself the attention necessary for personal growth,

Understanding and healing.

I'll say that again.

By allowing what's difficult to be present and taking time to understand the deeper feelings and scary beliefs that hide beneath distress,

You give yourself the attention necessary for personal growth,

Understanding and healing.

With this in mind,

You can move to the N of RAIN,

Which stands for nurturing or nourishing.

In times of difficulty,

We tend to be hard on ourselves when caught in a struggle,

We speak to ourselves in harmful ways that deepen our pain.

In moments of difficulty,

We need to treat ourselves the way we would treat a loved one,

With kindness and compassion meant to nurture or nourish.

In this practice,

Nurturing yourself begins by asking the place or places within your body that hurt what they need.

You might ask yourself how you can be with yourself right now,

Right here.

Can you connect and listen carefully to your true self?

Can you feel the part or parts of yourself that are calling out for nourishment?

Can you sense what feels needed?

Is it safety,

Reassurance,

Forgiveness?

Do you need understanding or love?

Can you tune in to what message might be helpful?

What might be most reassuring or healing in this moment?

Maybe you are aware of a need to wrap your arms around yourself or to lie down or to pull a blanket over your lap.

Perhaps rocking back and forth gently would feel soothing.

You might want to place a hand over your heart and remind yourself of your worthiness.

I invite you to give that deep part of yourself whatever expression of love and acceptance that feels right.

As we approach the end of this practice,

Take a minute to connect with a sense of grace,

Spaciousness,

And loving-kindness.

This isn't an easy exercise,

So give yourself credit for making it to the end.

A regular practice of sitting with what seems overwhelming allows us to connect with our capacity to face what feels hard.

It also provides a point of reference we can come back to the next time we feel flooded by thoughts and feelings and experience the urge to take action.

In this way,

We empower the ability to slow down our automatic reactions so we can choose a more thoughtful response.

In this last minute of silence,

See if you can let a sense of soothing move through you as you feel a sense of self that is compassionate,

Sturdy,

And resilient.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Reviews

This was a beautiful practice and helped me a lot. Will come back to this in future