Music So it is a separate self.
You are a mixture.
This I-ness that is there in you is the ego,
Is the mind,
Is the memory of the past,
All the past karmas that it brought in.
It is itself all these together forming its ragas and dveshas.
This whole separate self is a creation of the ego by an assumption that I am that light or I am I.
The ego will slowly start crumbling when it starts seeing that everything is the knowingness.
I am not I.
The literal translation of that shloka is mano bhutih ahankar chittani naham.
I am not I.
The weakening of the ego will happen provided you keep being in this knowingness.
You recognize this knowingness because it is there.
You are not manufacturing it.
You don't have to sit down and meditate for 20 hours to bring the knowingness in.
No.
It is there in your most flared up situation.
Somebody inside you knows that you are angry right now.
Some word is wrong.
You are angry right now.
Some words are coming out that knowingness is there.
The only thing is its flame is very small.
You just recognize this knowingness.
It will just increase by recognizing.
You don't have to do much because you are the knowingness.
You are not that ego filled mind screaming at the other person and creating the drama.
That is just an assumption.
That is the identification,
The tadatma that the ego has done.
You are this awareness.
You are this knowingness.
So it's like you had crept under this side and now suddenly you crept up here.
That's all that is happening and this became big and then this dwindles away.
Of course you are going to slip many times because of the previous habit patterns.
If you behave with a particular person in a particular way,
Have you noticed that only the first two three lines of anger you are seeing consciously.
After that it is like automatically coming out.
Even if you want to stop,
You're not able to stop it.
Have you noticed this is what is called a habit pattern.
When you get stronger and stronger in your knowingness,
The habit pattern will start weakening but it's not going to weaken overnight.
Some days you are going to slip and create a big drama and someday you're going to emerge as the winner.
Do you get it?
So the days you lose,
The days you feel oh I was so bad today.
Don't beat yourself up.
Know that it is the knowingness which has become big right now.
It's okay.
What happened is gone.
Now be in the knowingness.
Is this clear?
Paying
