The Journey Of Our Loved Ones As They Cross Over

Departed Loved Ones and their Journey to Stay With Us or Cross Over. Pasquale and Dr. Traci discuss the journey of our loved ones after they die and their decision to either stay near us or crossover. What could this mean and how can we help them crossover? Welcome to our Spiritual Psychology Support Group with Dr. Traci Moreno, Licensed Psychologist, and Pasquale Naccarata, Spiritual Coach, Intuitive Guide, Astrologer, and Crystal Reiki Master. This Support Group is for anyone on a Journey of Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical Healing and growth. Follow us now to help, support & encourage each other on this amazing yet challenging journey. Dr Traci and Pasquale talk about the parts of this journey that no one wants to talk about- the difficulties & the struggles. Supporting each other through these challenges is essential to our success. Trigger Warning: This practice may include references to death, dying, and the departed.

Transcript

Hey it's Pasquale and Dr.

Tracey and we are here today excited for Halloween.

Yes we are.

And we're going to continue the Halloween topics.

So today I wanted to talk to you about loved ones who've crossed over or just really kind of any spirits that choose to kind of stay around with us as opposed to crossing over.

And so because this comes up a lot in grief therapy when you know we've lost a loved one.

And of course we we always say if you if that is consistent with your belief that you know oh they're you know they're here with you.

But it's they're here with you kind of like in different ways.

It could be like either they're what is it that they're like here like close to you like not crossed over yet or they could be crossed over and that there's there's a difference there.

There's a total difference.

Okay so can you help us understand that?

Sure it's a total energetic difference.

I think I think what happens is is when we get to the point where we leave right a lot of times one of the biggest things are well I don't want them to suffer I don't want them to have pain right.

If you actually are in the process of kind of crossing right which I know is not directly answering the question but you know me and I have to go around the block.

So we're just taking the route.

But like it's an important one because I think like like a lot of times people are like well I don't want them to have pain I don't want them to suffer.

And I'm always like you know what you have to recognize that when our bodies are at that point of extinction right when it's starting to end right we're being called out right the energy is beginning to leave.

And I always tell people tips like if it's in a hospital don't stand at the feet of the bed because most of the time the person is staring forward right and they're staring forward because their angel is forward it's present and if you're standing at the foot of the bed you're actually blocking their view which is not helping them kind of move.

You're like door not a window bee.

Exactly so always stand at their sides and just be present.

That is so interesting.

It's the truth though they always look forward they're always looking even if they're at their sides they're looking forward and you want to make sure that you're not standing in that view because that's you are going to be like hello my baby hello my darling hello my right time girl.

I got a long time for this don't you worry I'm going to be in that old folks home for a long long time before that happens.

But like so you want to make sure she's putting on a dance today.

Sorry.

This is a lot of energy I don't know if you can feel it but it's a lot.

I'm sweating.

Okay come on this is a serious topic.

I'm sorry um so yeah so you don't ever want to stand there because you want to give them the freedom to leave right because once they're at that point realistically it's kind of like their energy just opens and expands.

It's the best way I always describe it it's like they just become from like this simple vessel to this free like free spirit truly I know um and it just becomes so large and so expansive right and it's kind of like taking off like we take off a jacket exactly because this is our we remove that so we're like removing that and like setting ourselves setting our inner energetic body free right totally and typically it's that human side that stays right it's the spiritual side's already on its way out yeah um and is leaving so there's really no physical like no true pain for the spirit um and so when it happens it just leaves and at that point they get to make choices right because everything is a choice you know oftentimes what they'll do is they'll say I'm seeing light I want to go into it I want to join my family I want to join those people I want to join that party that's happening over there and rejoin the energy right or they what I have found is that they just say well I don't want to leave this person because I think they just don't need me or I'm not sure that this is actually happening and I'm dead right like there's some variables there and then that kind of shifts them and keeps them kind of here right um and so what I always say is like it's like it's a little different because the energy when they're here I think is a lot heavier a lot more present um it's it's just very much there right like so they're not necessarily feeling their own grief because they're kind of like freed in a sense but they can feel our grief yes right and this is I I use this concept when uh treating people that have lost loved ones through grief and um obviously of course only if they have the consistent spiritual religious beliefs of course but you know um and we have the stages of grief and of course we have to honor our grief in the beginning but once we get you know past all the pain and we get to that point where it's like we we want to be able to let go and heal but we're but we're not able to or we're scared and so I try to use that concept to motivate them to really let them you know let their loved one go because um it you know I kind of explain it in terms of you know they are here they could be they could be waiting here because they don't want to leave you yet because you're you've been in so much grief but when you do when you can do that you're actually allowing them you're freeing them you're releasing them of that and you're letting them continue on their journey because it's also not just about us and me personally like I look at it like and this is of course later on in the grieving process not in the beginning at all because we do have to validate our grief and really feel it and we're allowed to and supposed to 100 so later on towards the end of the grieving process but you know I always think like to myself I'm like it's selfish for me to hold on to them like they've done their time it's kind of like an inmate they've done their time.

I have done my time.

I'm like please release me you know and so I mean so it can be you know depending on where you are in that grieving process obviously somebody who's grieving you don't want to tell them that they're being selfish by holding on no there's a time and a place for everything but towards the end it can really help us motivate and do it out of love as opposed to that pain.

You know I think that's the key word like for me it's like when you look at that it's it's selfish is kind of a good way to describe it but really it's they're holding on to they're not holding on to love they're holding on to fear right yeah and it's that other side right and so that's the thing that they need to release is that if they were in a loving state I don't think you would want them to stay right that's really true it kind of you're you're holding it on because you're afraid to be alone I'm not afraid I know what I'm going to do I don't know you know what life's going to be like I I've spent my entire life with you I don't know right it's that fear that kind of holds them to that person yeah you know I've never verbalized it like that but I really like that because I always uh explain to people that you know the goal of healing from grief is not that we never miss them or never cry or you know feel that pain anymore but it's that we when we remember them we don't want to we want to remember them with love and maybe smile through our tears as opposed to like feeling so much pain you know and so that's consistent with it's kind of like focusing on release them out of love not out of a fear yes of of them leaving us that that I think is the key right is that is that when when we're in this space because we're all going to go through it right we all go through it whether it's no one's getting out alive at no no and do you want to I mean there's a lot of people that do there's a lot of people that I I don't live forever and what you know I so I mean us personally we you know we have yeah I believe so I I like living but I I think the other side's probably a lot more fun I just envision it this way but you know I think something else to kind of add on to what you were saying was you know it's been recorded on so many um out-of-body experiences right where it's like someone can pass in Australia and you may be in New York but in that moment of passing that person even though you're in New York is with you right because their energy is so expansive you don't need to be present I totally agree with that yeah um it's more about just being open right um and and I think it's kind of allowing that energy to kind of be there but then also say thanks for visiting you know I can't wait to see you again and it said our energy in spirit world can be in multiple places at multiple times yes so you know it's why angels talk about cheating I could be like visiting you my husband a couple exes on the side no just kidding I would never visit I don't want to be visited either I was like haunting them and be like that could be fun though sorry I do plan on hunting a few of you know who you are um and that is a promise not a threat no but I think sorry this topic is just so fun it you know you have to make it fun though I know you have to make it fun because it's such it's so interesting to me though yeah you know I will tell you like it's it's every time that you've seen someone who is kind of staying they really are staying for someone else yeah like if it's related in that way and so it's tough because they they're they don't want to let that person go that reminds me of you know how like um how somebody people family members could be at somebody's bedside like literally 24 7 they won't shower they won't eat they will not leave and then finally after like this long period of time if somebody convinces them just please I'll stay with them go take a shower go get something to eat and then they finally go and then the person passes and people feel such a tremendous intense amount of guilt for that but I explained to them I'm like that person was holding on for you they couldn't go they could they couldn't leave while you were there and you weren't meant to experience that yeah they were actually waiting for you to leave it's you believe that it's totally true I've seen it I have yeah it's happened so many times in my life where it's it's like you you kind of you wait and you wait and then the minute the person leaves it's like bam yeah and it just happened but I totally agree it's you know you know like so like in in my family in my culture like it's like when someone's in the hospital you don't ever leave them because you're always with them right like you kind of there to support them and kind of be that additional arm but I'll tell you after witnessing that so many times it's like you've got to allow the person that may be in the hospital some space for them yeah to kind of catch up with them process on their own yeah talk to their angels talk to you know their moms or whomever has passed um and sometimes they won't do that because you're present right right I used to whisper in my nana's ear and I would say man who who's the first person you want to see when you pass when you cross over you know and every everybody else of course I'm a psychologist so this kind of stuff is a lot easier for me to talk about than the average person because we talk about it all the time but you know and I would even tell my mom I'm like you know they would still be like trying to get her to do these things and I'm like mom I'm like I know it's hard but like please like when you can do it just say like it's okay for you to go you know and but that wasn't so moving back to the first part that I was saying I would whisper in her ear and say what you know who's the first person you want to see and she I just remember she smiled really big and this was she was already like um not really showing a lot of facial expressions and not really able to talk and she said my mother and I was like oh my gosh and you know this is our matriarch and it reminded me like she's a kid yeah and it was so it gave me chills just talking about it now but it was so beautiful and it made the experience like so much more peaceful yeah you know uh you know the number one person that people when they're ready to cross see is their mom in every sense um it's that they want to see or that they do see it's always their mom is the first one they see always if they have a relationship with their mom and mom mom figure wait we need to talk it's it's it's the truth because also remember even if it was dogs you'll see them i'd be like but move me that's you being a mom that's you being a mom but mom is a nurturer right and so not to everyone but when they cross they become it because they recognize jeez and and so it's always like every single time that i've been in a room where someone's crossing which is probably more times than both my hands like well then i guess this brings up another topic because then when we are released from that human pain that human experience we then no longer have all of that possible resentment or all the problems and the pain from that relationship yeah and so we i i feel like we i don't know how automatic is but i want to say it's almost like this i get a sense that it's this um like automatic understanding of like a big picture of like this is kind of getting into other things but if there was some sort of soul contract involved you know because if this is totally getting onto a tangent which we can cover in another episode but but is that kind of and then we we would we would want that you know because it was such an important relationship yeah you know what it is it's remember that you choose your parents for the lessons right it's you choose them for the lessons and i think it's the lessons that we we take from our parents and run forward with but once we cross our vision isn't stuck in this three-dimensional human body right we open up to this other experience we start to see things from different perspectives we can actually feel what other people are feeling as that in that crossover state in that spirit state right it's an energy now and that energy understands truths it understands and is has learned to let go of sacrifice for sure but like for me it's like you know you have to remember when you leave this body you enter a state of love right like that's the pure vibration the hum of energy is love and so even when you leave that energy of love you start to recognize that perspective of that human side made me feel this way right i was angry i was resentful i i'm carrying you know guilt or whatever that is right that's the human side and when you move past that and you start to enter into that pure love state all that other stuff isn't important and you recognize it right yeah which is to me like oftentimes what mediums are so popular today is because today in general right because the medium is actually connecting with someone who is crossed who has a message of please forgive me i love you i'm here for you because of their human existence right right it's super connected in that way that's very beautiful and so like that's the the piece to remember is is that when someone is crossing remember they've entered a state of love right or they should they choose to right there are some that choose to stay because they don't know that they've gone or they're kind of confused and in that state um it's always good to kind of help them kind of move it on i think that's our next topic for next week right yeah crossing over crossing like what what we kind of you know know or think we know about it yeah so so but but for this one um what in terms of not fully crossing over but what would be once they do kind of like we're saying once we're able to kind of release them and let them go like when we start to heal in what aspect are they still kind of there for us you know i always like you know i like kind of the idea that that they're like your angel they're your support right um they they could come around it could still be there right like and i can tell you from my own experience like i still have i i have a couple grandparents that stick around and kind of come back um and and through my own family they like they'll visit in dreams or whatnot right whereas my one grandmother she never visits me she visits everyone but me right and i know i know we will be talking one day don't you worry i have a whole list of things um but but like you have to believe it's from love right like like she's not coming because of love and so it's if you're not visited it's not a bad thing yeah right it just means that you're on the right track and just know that they'll always be with you you know all you have to do is just think of them and call them and they'll come forward right so it's so even when you are releasing them you don't necessarily ever really lose them you're just allowing them to cross over but they can still be there for you guiding you and a lot of times i tell people like now they actually have more um kind of power i don't know if that's the right word yeah to like look over you guide you and protect you than they did when they were here on earth totally you know so you can continue talking to them you can continue asking them questions asking for guidance asking for support help right and yeah and then feel that and pay attention to signs and you know try to connect and there's different things that you can do with that i i will tell you like there's there's um like a cultural belief out there that like when someone crosses um like you don't really lose them because they join you and they're part of you and so each generation it just continues to expand where it's like every grandparent is in you you know and you're in each of your children moving forward right it's a good way to kind of look at kind of the way the energy is of it right because it it carries right it's not just this divine energy it's also there's genetics too right that link us to that divine energy okay so this brings a whole another branch we're not going into science because i don't know science well no not science i don't either so i am not taking a piece of psychology that's it but okay i can do that no but um because i think of i think of like soul families i don't think of like blood family they're totally different right okay they could be the same they could be yeah but are you talking about you're talking about the the blood and the dna line so you know it gets complicated right like because what i will tell you from what the way i understand it is is that once you do cross you've kind of and this is a topic for the next set lesson but or talk but like once you do cross it's everything is broken into tribes is how i understand it that's the words i get it's like try it right okay and and so that's weird because that's become like the like a pop culture word like find your tribe totally my tribe totally and so like to me it's like i think that's their word for family and so i don't i think that when you talk family on the spirit side of things it's not just your mom dad and like the people you know it's not the blood it's bigger right right and i think that your soul family are people who are somehow connected in that way we travel in circles like through exactly and they're just easy that connection that's a great topic to talk about because i think soul families are sometimes more important than actually familial families like blood families i've yeah i've always held importance to that because i feel like our blood family is oftentimes because it is about lessons and so and unfortunately we learn through like struggles and challenges so unfortunately sometimes our family is like sometimes the the hardest people to be around and the most difficult that cause us the most pain you know and that's just reality right from the lessons because of the lessons we're having to overcome and learn through this time and so i feel like that's not necessarily like our soul the soul family yeah they're totally different right and and i always like because i i have someone in my life i have i i know my soul family or several members of my soul and and like for them it's like you're one you are too yeah she's gonna be like oh that's great we found each other um but like like it's it's just easy life is easy and we're totally going off topic and i'm surprised i'm the one doing this i know i know i know you're redirecting me um but like i i think that it's the truth though like so like when when it's time for that like crossing over to happen is just recognize that it is truly a bigger picture yeah bigger energy bigger so let's talk about soul families at another episode because i love that okay and we will chat next time bye