Life Unrushed: The Art Of Being Here Now

In a world that constantly urges us to speed up, we often feel like life is passing us by in a blur. Welcome to Life Unrushed, where we explore how intentionally slowing down and cultivating presence allows us to truly see, feel, and experience the richness we've been missing.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Do you ever feel that life is just passing you by?

There's just so many different things to do and there's never enough time?

And perhaps you're so busy that when you finally get time to stop and rest,

You fall asleep.

I don't know if you've flown anywhere recently,

But the next time you get on the plane,

Get up,

Go to the bathroom in the front or the back of the plane,

Wherever you're sitting,

And just look at people as you walk by.

Try to walk the entire distance of the plane and look at everyone.

And what you'll probably find is that whether it's 8 o'clock in the morning or 8 o'clock at night,

Most people,

When they're forced to disconnect from the world and have nothing to do,

They fall asleep.

A couple of friends of mine who are doctors have told me repeatedly that the number one thing they hear from their clients when they come in for an appointment is,

Doc,

I'm just so tired.

Is there anything you can do to help?

Why are so many of us exhausted?

Why are we constantly feeling the pressure to be busy,

To be productive,

To be on the go?

The truth is,

Society puts a lot of pressure on us.

Being busy can equate to success.

So if you want to be successful,

You better be busy.

But there's a cost to all this rushing around.

Instead of absorbing experiences,

We have superficial experiences where we barely pay attention to what's going on.

And that means we're missing out on life.

Then we have missed connections where we're truly not listening to others or being present with them because we're in our head,

Rushing around,

Thinking about the next thing we need to do and not being fully present with the person we're with right now.

We develop what I call sensory numbness.

We stop noticing the taste of foods,

The beauty of our surroundings,

And the feel of the wind and the sun on our face.

And because of this rushed life,

We start feeling stressed and burnt out and our body may be screaming at us,

Slow down,

I'm exhausted.

And we may reach a point where we feel a lack of meaning in life.

Are we truly living our purpose?

Are we living our dream?

Are we just getting by,

Rushing through life,

Hoping to someday we'll start living?

I want to share something with you that I bet you've heard many times throughout your life.

And not only have you heard it,

You may actually experience it.

And that's why I think this next thing I'm going to share gets repeated so often throughout our lives.

I don't remember the first time I heard it,

But I've heard it throughout my life.

And I was young when I began to hear it.

And it was when you get older,

Time is going to fly by.

And when a year or five year passes,

It may seem like only a little bit of time has truly passed.

But what I discovered was,

This wasn't true for me.

As the years,

As the decades went by,

And people would say,

It seemed like only yesterday we were doing this or that,

Or this event happened,

Or that event happened,

And time sure flies.

Normally I wouldn't say anything,

But I would think,

No,

It seems like that long ago.

And time hasn't flown by.

And my experience of time not flying by is still present today.

Time goes by normally,

As it did when I was five.

I experience it now in my life too,

The same way.

And because I've heard it so many times,

Time sure flies by when you get older.

But it doesn't for me.

I really began to think about,

Why is that?

I only have my experience.

And it's not flying by slowly.

It's just flying by normally,

And it's not because I'm depressed.

It's actually the opposite,

Because I'm really savoring what I call sucking the marrow out of life.

I'm experiencing life one day at a time,

One breath at a time.

Of course,

Sometimes I get busy like we all do,

But I always have plans of stopping and slowing down.

And I think that makes time go by slower for me than most people.

One thing to guarantee to slow me down every single day is that I meditate twice a day,

Once in the morning and once at night.

I sit for 30 to 40 minutes still,

Just feeling my breath,

Feeling my body,

And being still.

So even if the day is busy,

I know there'll be times where part of my day is going to slow down,

Way down.

But what does slowing down really mean?

And do I have to sit and meditate in order to slow down?

No,

Of course not.

I do really think meditation is good for our hearts,

But we can do a lot of things to slow down besides meditating.

Slowing down isn't about being lazy or unproductive.

It's about intentionality,

Presence,

And choosing quality of attention over speed.

It's doing things at an appropriate human pace.

It's about being here and now,

Without judgment,

Noticing our thoughts,

Feeling our feelings,

Sensing our senses,

Exploring,

And being present with the environment that we're in.

One of the things I love to do throughout the day,

Every day,

Is just stop and see,

Feel,

Experience.

And I do this by bringing my awareness to what I'm doing right now.

If I'm eating,

I'll periodically just stop and give my full attention to the food that's in my mouth right now.

Tasting it,

Enjoying it,

Feeling it,

Not just trying to quench my hunger,

But really feeling the food going into my body.

Or when I go outside,

Whether I'm driving my car or going for a walk,

I just look and see the things around me,

Whether it's wind blowing through a tree,

Whether it's a bird singing,

Whether it's flowers that are blooming,

There's so many beautiful things to be present with right now.

So for all of us,

It's about doing three distinct things.

One is seeing versus looking,

Really seeing the flower,

Not just glancing at it,

Sharpening our observational skills,

Noticing details,

Color,

Light,

Expressions you normally miss.

Or when we're talking to someone,

Not just listening to their words,

But watching their bodily expressions.

Is there a pain there?

Is there a joy there that their words aren't expressing,

But their body is?

You see a friend that you haven't seen for a while,

And you ask them the typical question,

How are things going?

And they say,

It's good.

But then you look at their body,

And you see they're slumped over,

They're tired,

Their facial expressions show that something's wrong,

And you inquire,

You explore,

And perhaps you get time to help them navigate a tough day.

And secondly,

There's feeling versus reacting.

Through awareness,

Through mindfulness,

Through presence,

We allow ourselves to notice emotions and physical sensations without being immediately swept away by them.

We begin to notice that there's anger sometimes arising inside of us,

But because we notice it,

We don't instantly lash out from it.

Instead,

We navigate our anger through communication,

Through understanding,

Through boundaries.

We're listening to our feelings,

We're understanding bodily clues within us and in others.

I really love what I do as a clinical psychologist,

But what makes me effective,

I feel,

Is that I'm present,

I'm listening,

I'm watching,

I'm not thinking about what I have to do later that day,

I'm being with that person and hearing their story and helping them navigate life's journey,

Which sometimes can be so challenging for us.

And then thirdly,

We find presence through experiencing versus consuming.

We're fully engaged in an activity or a moment rather than just trying to get through it or multitasking.

We start savoring our food,

We immerse ourselves in music,

We fully engage in conversations,

We feel,

We touch,

We smell,

We take in all that life brings to us right now.

And by doing these things throughout the day,

Periodically,

Yes,

We're going to be busy and sometimes fly through life,

But when we have moments of pausing,

Of slowing down,

Of being in the here and now,

Our lives will begin to shift.

We might find that life slows down and we begin to see the beautiful things in our lives instead of rushing through life.

So how do we cultivate an unrushed practice,

An unrushed life?

To do this,

We need to give ourselves permission to pause,

Realizing it's okay and even beneficial not to rush through life.

And then we cultivate a value of just being,

Trying to balance doing things with moments of simply being.

Instead of being just a human doing,

We truly become a human being.

We work on single task activities where we just do one thing at a time and we'll find the surprising effectiveness of doing just one thing at a time.

Not only is it so much more pleasurable,

It's effective.

Let's say we love to read books,

But we get so distracted by our phone and other things.

So we just sit down,

Perhaps leave our phone somewhere else or put it on silent,

And just sit and read for half an hour.

Or if we're having our lunch or our breakfast,

We just have our lunch and we feel the food going in our mouths,

Smell it,

Savor it.

Being present with what we're doing right now.

And here are some simple things that we can do throughout the day to become more present,

To slow our lives down.

Taking mindful moments where we actually take three conscious breaths periodically.

Breathing in,

Breathing out.

Breathing in,

Breathing out.

Breathing in,

Breathing out.

Then we just get back to our activity,

But we pause.

Sensory check-ins.

This is where we pay attention to what we're seeing,

What we're hearing,

What we're smelling,

What we're feeling right now.

Just basically listening to our body and being present with what's happening in our bodies right now.

Mindful transitions.

This is where we pause briefly between activities before getting out of the car,

Before starting a new task.

We just stop and pause,

And then transition to the next activity.

Dedicating times to slow down and do activities mindfully.

So perhaps in the morning,

Making a cup of tea,

Having a cup of coffee,

Pouring some water and just going outside,

Sitting for 15 minutes before we start our day.

Being still,

Being present.

Having nature be our teacher,

Spending time observing nature's pace.

What does it do?

Is it constantly rushing,

Or is it just being?

Learning from nature,

Being in nature.

Nature truly can be one of our greatest teachers.

And then lastly,

Having digital boundaries where we're creating tech-free times where there isn't anything electronic that we're engaging with,

And we're just being present with this moment.

I know what I'm talking about today may seem overwhelming,

Impossible,

Or at least very difficult,

But if we just take a little bit of time every day to develop presence,

To slow down,

And begin to cultivate the art of being here now,

I believe we'll find that our lives will get better.

And we'll find instead of a difficult challenge that rushes by,

We'll find our life will become a beautiful adventure that every morning we'll wake up and say,

What's going to happen today?

And the end of the day we'll say,

Thank you for such a beautiful day.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

Until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Beautiful and wonderful as always!!

Life was flying by and now I make myself take the time to sit on a bench during my daily walk. I listen to the birds, look at the mountains & river, & watch the horses & cows on the farmland below. This was a great reminder. Thank you.

Wonderful as always 🙏

Excellent advice! Nature is our best teacher! We need to slow down and really look at what’s around us. Thanks Dr Puff!