Hi this is Diane.
Welcome to this meditation on setting sacred boundaries.
In our time together you will feel the difference between a yes and a no in your body.
Let's get started.
Wherever you feel most at home in your body right now just allow your hands to rest somewhere that feels natural.
And if it feels comfortable to close your eyes go right ahead or just soften your gaze.
And just taking one ordinary and very real breath.
Not manipulating it.
Not changing it at all.
Just your real breath but consciously aware of that breath.
And you're here because I'm guessing you are a person who feels things.
Who cares about people.
And who has probably been giving a lot of yourself.
Yet something in you is ready to remember that you are also someone worth caring for.
And that's really what this meditation is about.
It's a remembering.
So go ahead and bring your attention to any physical sensations in your body right now.
Maybe just the physical sensation of your body.
Not how it looks.
Not what it can do.
But just how your body feels from the inside.
The weight of it.
Maybe noticing the temperature of your hands.
The rising and falling of your chest.
And feel into your feet.
Even if they're tucked beneath you.
Feel the contact of your feet with wherever they're connected to.
Whatever they're connected to.
And notice what's beneath you.
There is something beneath you right now that's not moving.
Something solid.
So just let yourself feel into that.
And this body,
Your body,
Has a shape.
Has a form.
Has edges.
And there's a place where your physical form ends.
And the air and the energy around you begins.
And right now,
Can you sense that edge?
Just feeling into the surface of your skin.
Not as a wall or armor,
But just as information.
Kind of like,
This is where I am.
This is my container.
This is the edge of my container.
My sacred container.
And this is the beginning of a boundary.
It's not a rule.
It's just an honest awareness of where you are.
Of the fact that you exist.
Of the fact that you are a distinct,
Specific,
And irreplaceable person.
Not a resource.
Not a role.
And not a reflection of anyone else's needs.
Just you.
Here.
In your body.
Right now.
And I want to talk to your body for a moment.
Because your body has been trying to tell you things for a long time.
Because that's what our bodies do.
But most often,
Things get overridden by our minds.
By wanting to be helpful.
That's what the mind does.
By not wanting to disappoint.
By the old,
Old story that your needs are an inconvenience.
But your body knows the difference between a yes and a no.
And it always has.
And so we're going to explore that now.
Go ahead and think of something small that you genuinely,
Wholeheartedly want to do.
Something that brings you ease or joy.
It can be the simplest thing like sitting in the sun.
Having a cup of tea.
Smelling a flower.
Or a conversation with someone you love.
Whatever that small thing might be.
Just hold that in your mind right now.
And begin to notice what happens in your body.
Notice your chest.
And your belly.
And your throat.
You may feel a subtle opening.
A softening.
Or even an expansion.
Like something in you is leaning forwards.
That is a yes.
And that is what yes feels like in your body.
So take a deep breath in to anchor that sensation of a yes in your body.
What it feels like.
So that you will remember that.
Now gently and you can let this go immediately after we do this but gently think of something you've said yes to perhaps recently when your body was actually saying no.
Something maybe you agreed to do out of guilt or habit or fear of what would happen if you didn't.
Notice what's happening in your body now.
Do you sense a contraction?
Perhaps a tightening in your gut?
Your belly?
In your chest?
Or your jaw?
Maybe a constriction in your throat?
Maybe a sense of something shrinking or even bracing?
That is a no.
That is your body's wisdom.
That is your body giving you data through sensation.
And that sensation is not a weakness.
And you don't have to do anything with this right now.
You don't need to make any phone calls or have any difficult conversations.
This practice is simply about learning the language that your body already speaks.
And the more you listen to what your body is telling you the more fluent you become in learning your body's language.
And your body has never been your enemy.
Your body is your most honest ally.
And it has been keeping score not to punish you but because it loves you so much and it wants you to know what is true.
I want to offer you a different image of what a boundary can be.
It's not coldness or hardness closing of your heart not a wall,
A barrier or a fortress.
Think of the bark of a tree.
The bark on a tree does not stop the tree from growing.
It does not prevent the tree from offering shade or shelter or fruit.
It's simply just the tree's skin the clear natural membrane between the tree's inner life and the outer world.
And the tree does not apologize for having bark and the bark does not make the tree less generous it makes the tree more whole and that is what you are being invited into not hardness but wholeness.
You can be soft and unshakable you can be warm and boundaried you can say no with love in your voice and you can disappoint someone and still be a good person you can take up space your full honest specific space and still be someone who loves deeply These things are not in conflict the story that they are in conflict is the thing that exhausted you I'd like to move now into closing with three affirmations and these will be written in the recording description and you can just say them silently or out loud after I say them letting each one land in your body My needs are not a burden they are a birthright I can be fully loving and fully boundaried at the same time I am allowed to take up space exactly as I am right now Begin to deepen your breath just letting a slow inhalation completely fill your chest and a long exhalation carrying you back into the space that you're in into your day or evening back into your life and bringing some gentle movement into your fingers and toes if you're sitting up or when you sit up just rolling your shoulders back a few times and I invite you to carry something with you from this meditation today and that is the felt sense of where you are the quiet knowing that you are a real person with a real alive inner life sacred inner life that is worth protecting not because you're fragile but because you're precious you are allowed to take up space in the room that you're in in all your relationships especially the one with yourself I'm so glad you joined me here thank you and take good care
