Love Yourself More Each Day And Enhance Your Relationships

This short podcast, Love Yourself More Each Day and Enhance All of your Relationships, is designed to help you learn how to love yourself more, including the parts of you that you may have been conditioned (familialy, ancestrally, and collectively) to judge, reject, or not fully accept and love. The more you learn to love yourself, and the more love you feel for yourself, the more love you feel, bring, and receive in your relationships.

Transcript

Hello,

This is Alessandra Nel and today I'm going to share with you a shift in perspective that can be very helpful in shifting your relationship dynamics and also feeling self-sovereignly,

More love in your life,

More love flowing through you and also as a result of more love flowing through you,

More love flowing into your relationship and into all aspects and dimensions of your life.

So this shift is very simple.

As always,

All these things are very simple and of course they're not always easy to implement and that's the challenge as human beings.

We're conditioned,

We have many different patterns and habits and ways of seeing reality and expressing and connecting and relating that are not necessarily optimal and when we start to create shifts,

Fundamental shifts in our system and in the way that we perceive reality of course there can be resistance in those other parts.

So a little bit like if you had a group of people and that's what we are in many ways,

We're not just a cohesive unit,

We're a group of parts and those parts can have different beliefs,

Different ways of seeing reality,

Different perspectives,

Different strategies,

Life strategies and so when we bring in new information,

Those parts may resist,

They may feel unsafe,

They may feel like it invalidates the construct of reality that they live within or they live by and so that's the challenge.

So that's always good to be aware of that so that you can realize that any resistance in your system,

Any feeling of discomfort or dis-ease in the process of implementing this shift is just normal.

So it's part of the process and if you see it as part of the process rather than a problem,

It allows for more expansion,

Openness,

Flexibility,

Capacity to actually integrate and to feel more blind with what is being shared.

So it is a process of alignment and the process of alignment is not always comfortable or fun when it first gets into motion.

Over time as you do that and you repeat those different processes of shifting your energy,

Shifting your parts,

Shifting your belief system,

You become more familiar with the process and then it's like,

Oh,

Okay,

That's what it is and that's how it feels and that's just normal instead of,

Oh,

That doesn't feel good,

I don't like it,

I'm not feeling like myself or I don't like what I'm experiencing and feeling and thinking and so I'm going to just quit and stop doing it.

So on to the shift.

So the shift which will serve you tremendously in your life and of course serve your relationships is to shift your focus from trying to be loved and trying for somebody else other than yourself to love you,

To accept you into loving yourself.

So again,

That might seem like,

Oh,

Well,

This is so obvious and it is so obvious and are we doing that and if we were doing that,

What would happen?

So oftentimes we can say,

Oh,

Well,

Yes,

I understand that and I'm doing that and then if you were,

Let's say,

You put a video camera in your house and you watch yourself for 24 hours and then you assessed,

You did your best humbly and in a way that is going to help you the most to assess and to evaluate was I loving myself in this moment so you can look at the 24 hours and just evaluate is that when I said that,

When I did that,

When I felt that,

When I communicated that,

Was I loving myself?

And when you start to track that,

When you start to for yourself observe it without judgment,

Without expectation,

Without creating a fear around it,

Of not doing it,

Without any beliefs,

About why you're doing it,

Why you're not doing it,

Why you can't do it,

If you're simply in this state of observation of yourself with the intention of implementing this shift,

Then you will become aware of ways in which you're not loving yourself and ultimately the best way to learn to love ourselves more and to cultivate this self-love is to do it,

To practice it and then to realize ways in which we're not doing it.

So it's always,

As you know in our teachings,

We're always looking at the two sides of the coin,

Cultivating the energies and the qualities that you have identified as optimal in your process of life and relationship and then on the other end,

Identifying without judgment,

Without shame,

Without guilt,

Without self-punishment,

Without any process of blame,

Simply how you haven't done that,

How you haven't been cultivating this energy or this quality.

So when you do that,

Of course pain and sadness can come up.

You can feel like,

Well,

I'm not loving myself,

So that's terrible or I haven't loved myself and that's not something that I want to continue to do.

That said,

The moment that you become reactive to that,

That you cease to be an observer to that process,

Then what happens is that there's going to be a mechanical,

Chemical,

Biological,

Emotional,

Energetic,

Mental,

Spiritual reaction to this process of judgment,

To this process of reactivity,

To simply becoming aware of ways in which you have not been loving yourself.

So in that process,

You can forgive yourself.

So not intellectually,

As you know,

If we say we forgive,

We can be in a process where intellectually,

Mentally,

We imagine we're forgiving and that doesn't mean that the level of your energy and your emotions,

You're actually forgiving.

So the process of,

For instance,

The oponopono mantra or the forgive and forget,

Marma point,

Acupressure and breathing technique that brings up the energy of whatever judgment or shame or guilt or self-punishment or blame you might be feeling internally when you recognize that you're not loving yourself.

If you apply,

For instance,

Either of those processes,

And there are many more,

It's whatever is going to help you transmute the energy.

If you apply this process in that moment,

Then you can create space.

You can create space so that you can look at ways in which you're not loving yourself instead of being caught between not loving yourself because of whatever belief might be running in your system,

Whatever interpretations you might be making about yourself,

Whatever ways in which you might be looking at yourself.

If instead of once you become aware of that,

Then going into a reactive self-judgment,

If you clear the self-judgment,

If you forgive yourself completely for those patterns,

For those parts of yourself that you've inherited through,

If you believe in past life,

Past life conditioning,

Present time familial conditioning,

Ancestral conditioning,

Childhood conditioning,

The parts of you that you don't love or ways in which you're not loving yourself,

It's not your fault.

You haven't created that per se.

Yes,

Your energy system may have been untrained and conditioned into that.

That said,

You did not create it.

You did not choose consciously,

Oh,

I'm not going to love myself.

I'm not going to love that part of myself.

This is just a reactive process of conditioning that we learn.

And oftentimes it's very subconscious.

So we don't even know that we're not loving ourselves.

We don't know that when we're making certain choices,

When we're eating food a certain way or eating certain foods,

When we're communicating with people in relationship dynamics,

When we're just in the midst of our life or even just anything that we might be doing on a day to day basis,

We don't know that we're not choosing to not love ourselves for,

You know,

Doing the things that we do.

We just do the things that we do or say the things that we say or think the things that we think or feel the things that we feel because they've been modeled for us because we've recorded them and we're constantly replaying them out.

So once we realize that,

Then again,

It opens the door for forgiveness to happen.

And then we apply a process that goes really deeply,

Not just at the surface level,

Not just consciously.

We go into the subconscious mind and we clear those energies,

Those emotions,

Those recordings,

Those beliefs,

Whatever else is there in our system.

We clear that.

And once we've cleared it,

Then we can look very in a very grounded way,

Practical way,

A very conscious and loving way.

We can choose with love to look at our process of not loving ourselves.

So for instance,

As I just said,

You can choose to love yourself while looking at ways that you're not loving yourself.

So lovingly looking at ways that you're not loving yourself and not seeing in your system,

In your energy when you do that,

If there is any reactivity,

If there is any part of you that actually wants to judge yourself,

Is afraid of not loving yourself,

Is reactive to it.

And so when you do that,

Now you're starting to map all the ways in which you're not loving yourself while at the same time cultivating self-love in your process of looking at it and also in your process on a day-to-day basis,

Looking for ways to love yourself more and more and more.

And by the way,

The forgiveness would be one way of loving yourself more.

If you choose to forgive yourself,

That is a very loving thing to do to yourself,

Freeing yourself,

Opening yourself,

Allowing for those energies to move and clear so that you can live in the present moment with more peace,

With more joy,

With more love in your heart and a sense of connection and gratitude and presence.

So as you go through this process and you start to cultivate more and more self-love,

What happens is that the love that you used to maybe want from your partner,

Seek from your partner,

Ways in which they're not loving themselves and therefore not able to also essentially come into the relationship with that love towards you.

Because if they're not loving themselves in those parts,

How can they love you when you want to be loved in those parts of you that you actually don't love yourself?

So when we start to love all parts of ourselves,

Then what happens is that that seeking,

That grasping,

That wanting to be loved by another,

It's not that we don't receive the love that is given when it's given,

When it's available.

It's simply that we're not in this constant process of feeling frustrated or disappointed or sad or angry for not receiving love by others.

We're actually taking care of those parts of us,

Those child parts of us that have been wounded,

That have felt hurt,

And by giving them love,

We're feeling a sense of wholeness.

And when we feel a sense of wholeness,

That love which we are feeling and that love which we're feeding and nourishing and nurturing in all parts of our body,

Of our mind,

Of our emotions,

Of our soul,

In all parts of ourselves,

That love is now permeating our lives because that's how we feel internally.

So we're alchemizing,

We're becoming an alchemist,

We're choosing to feel love regardless of external conditions and circumstances.

And now what happens is that that love begins to flow into,

You could say,

Your energy field,

Into your aura,

Into your environment,

Into your space.

When you start to feel love,

You look at everything through the eyes of love.

You will look at your environment,

Objects,

People,

The natural world.

Everything around you will now be filled with this love because you are filled with this love.

And so that love then is going to translate into not being impatient,

Not requiring anyone to change,

Not expecting.

Now that doesn't mean not that if there are things that you would like in your relationship that you can't ask for that.

That said,

Because you are feeling self-sovereignly fulfilled by yourself with this love,

The request for change in relationship dynamics,

For instance,

Will be very different because the state of emotion,

The state of energy,

The communications,

The interactions,

The actions with your partner or of your partner or anyone that you're in relationship with,

They're not going to unground you and to lead you to feeling less love.

So when you're really feeling love and really loving all parts of you,

Even when the mirror of your partner is reflecting back,

Maybe that they're in pain,

That they're not loving themselves,

It's not going to change the way that you feel.

You can have compassion,

You can feel empathy for them,

You can want to help them and be available to raise their vibration,

To raise their energy,

To help them in that way.

And their state of energy is not going to change your state of energy.

So that's really wonderful because when you're doing that,

Then that love that you're essentially feeling your whole being with and then resonating and sharing in your environment,

In your relationships,

It's going to start to change the dynamics of your relationship.

Now it might take some time.

It depends also on the person that you're in relationship with.

Again,

It can be a one-on-one relationship or it can be different relationships like family relationships that you have or any types of work relationships.

Any relationships that you have when you start to change,

They will have their conditioning.

So they might resist,

They might not have the same information that you have.

So sharing a video like that,

For instance,

Could be helpful or something that they resonate with to help them understand how they can feel their being with this love.

And when they do,

When they love themselves unconditionally,

Then it begins to just flow into all of their life,

The areas of life and also all of their relationships.

So when you do that,

When you apply this process,

You will start to see things changing and you won't be attached to it changing because if you are filled with love and if this love is flowing through you and flowing inside of you and out of you,

There's going to be this self-sovereign feeling and energy of being just very peaceful and grounded and fulfilled and connected.

So there's less of this needing anyone to change or needing to change the environment.

And the beauty of this is that when you do that,

The environment will change,

Your relationships will change.

And if someone is really not willing and open to change,

Then it will be obvious that there's a misalignment.

Again,

Not to quickly feel that if,

For instance,

Someone you're in a relationship with is not responding positively to your shifts,

That that means that they're not in alignment.

It can take time.

And it's just about being observant and continuing your own process of self-love and then just assessing over time what are the chances that are happening as a result.

Are things that we are both wanting to bring into the relationship,

Are we both bringing that energy,

Are we both putting that focus in the relationship and in shifting the relationship dynamics.

And then without attachment,

Without aversion,

Without blame,

Without conditions or expectations or creating any negative beliefs,

We can simply continue to refine that process.

So I feel very strongly that if you make that shift,

If you begin to shift into loving yourself all the time and clearing ways in which you're not loving yourself all the time without judgment and forgiving yourself or times when you don't love yourself or parts of you that you don't love,

That by doing that,

You will experience shifts in yourself and you will also bring shifts into your relationships and your environment.

And that's a wonderful thing because when we all feel more loved,

Feel more loved,

Are loving ourselves and are all operating self-sovereignly,

Then we have more capacity to understand each other,

To care for each other,

To be patient with each other,

To really have compassion for each other's path and each other's challenges and conditioning rather than being reactive and maybe fearful and therefore not being able to really bring about the quality of relationship that we want.

I hope this is helpful to you and I'm sending you much love.

Reviews

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