New Year and welcome to Meditations with Desi.
This episode was designed for those who have anxiety disorders or anxiety around their health or maybe you're just going through something tough or scary with your health right now and you need a moment to feel calm in your body.
I made this for you.
I have those moments so I hope that you can get what you need from this.
Take a deep breath in.
Be where you are and let's meditate together.
If you are like me and have a generalized anxiety disorder it can manifest in a lot of ways.
One way that mine has particularly manifested over the years is through my health.
It was very hard for me to experience health experiences like any ache and pain would suddenly become the end of me and I know there are jokes and memes about you know getting on Google and looking up symptoms and leading to the worst conclusion.
Well I didn't need Google for that.
My mind does that sometimes.
So if your mind does that sometimes too,
This meditation is for you.
For those moments when something is not quite right with your body,
You're experiencing something that is painful,
Scary,
Or different.
Whatever adjective best describes the disconnect,
The fear that you're feeling in your body right now,
The anxiety that you're feeling in your body,
In your mind.
I want to start off by saying that it's all so real.
Your fear,
It's all so real.
It comes from a place of deep love and deep vulnerability,
Deep appreciation for the body that you live in,
The vessel that you live in.
Because ultimately you want to see yourself healthy and you want to see yourself well.
So it's understandable that when something is threatening that wellness or something feels like there's that it's causing a disconnect.
It's very understandable that you might freak out.
But I'm here to somewhat ride that moment with you because I have been there.
So let's take a deep breath in.
We're gonna breathe in for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Now hold your breath for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Breathe out for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Now hold your breath for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Very good.
That method of breathing that we just did is called box breathing.
It's one of my favorite breathing techniques to go to when I'm stressed and when I'm anxious and especially when I'm feeling disconnected from my body.
So let's do that again.
Let's breathe in for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Now hold your breath for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Very good.
Breathe out for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
And hold your breath for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Let's do it again.
Breathe in for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Hold your breath for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Breathe out for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Hold your breath for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Very good.
Now I want you to get connected with your body because sometimes when I'm anxious,
It can start to feel like I'm having pain everywhere.
The pain seems to go beyond its place of origin.
So let's do a quick body scan starting from the top of our head.
I want you to just be mindful of the sensations and the feelings that you feel in this moment.
On your head,
I am at home.
Do you feel tightness?
Is there tension?
Feel free to adjust your face,
To relax your eyebrows,
To relax your jaws.
Roll your neck if you must.
And let's bring your awareness down to your shoulders.
What are you feeling in your shoulders?
Is there tension there?
Tightness?
Just observe and release.
Drop your shoulders.
Roll your shoulders.
You can squeeze your shoulder blades and now release them.
And let's scan down to our arms.
I can stretch them out.
Move them to the side.
See how they feel as you move them.
Is there tension anywhere in your arms?
What about your chest?
What are you feeling there?
And as you do these body scans,
I want you to pay attention and just experience any emotions that come up with any particular area of your body.
Because sometimes when you do these body scans,
You find that there's more energy in certain places than you realized.
Let's move down to your stomach and your back.
Notice any sensations there.
Any tightness?
Any uneasiness?
Any nervousness?
Whatever.
It could be feelings of joy,
Joy that you're sitting with yourself,
Joy that you're breathing,
Joy that you're not alone in this experience of anxiety with one's body.
And it could be nothing.
That's okay too.
Now I want you to move your awareness down to your lower body.
Do you feel any tension in your butt?
Any tension around your thighs?
Anxious.
And if you do,
Feel free to tighten these muscles.
Give them a really tight squeeze to bring in the tension and then release it.
Pay attention to how you're feeling now.
Pay attention to any emotional sensations happening in your body.
And now I want you to move your attention down to your knees.
What do they feel like?
These knees that support you.
These knees that do their best.
These knees that have walked with you,
That have traveled with you.
For however long they've been there.
Move your awareness down to your calf muscles,
The back of your legs and your ankles.
It is my safe place.
Do you feel tightness there?
If so,
Feel free to give this muscle a gentle squeeze and then release.
And now let's move our awareness down to our ankles,
Our feet.
Our feet.
Notice any sensations happening in your feet,
Any sensations happening in your ankles.
Are they tired?
Are they sore?
Are they moisturized?
Are they dry?
Think about all of the sensations you're feeling in your body.
Where is the most tension in my body?
Where did you find yourself getting the most caught up or not wanting to spend much time in your skin?
I am at home in my body and I want you to go back there to bring your attention back to that spot.
That place that feels tight.
That place that feels scary.
That place that feels threatening.
And I want you to just rest your awareness there and just sit in the scariness of it all because your feelings are valid.
Your feelings of discomfort are real.
So I want you to just sit there for a second.
Observe the tension,
The uncomfortableness,
The pain,
Whatever it is.
Observe the sensation.
In your body.
And now I want you to picture this sensation.
Allow imagery to fill in of a stuffed animal of some sort.
It could be a bear,
A tiger,
Anything you want.
It could represent anything you want.
Any visual representation,
But just some kind of plush animal.
And once you have the visualization in your mind,
I want you to look more closely at this animal.
It represents all of your fear around your body.
It represents all of your distrust that you have with your body.
And I want you to give it a hug.
Picture yourself giving the tension,
I am at home in love.
Giving it acknowledgement.
Giving it space to be.
I want you to picture yourself,
It's okay,
With your pet,
Your bear,
Whatever your plushy is,
Walking through a beautiful meadow filled with lovely flowers,
Filled with beautiful sunrays.
It is a place of peace,
A place of calm,
A place where you can relax and sit with yourself.
Sit with the frustration of your mind doing things and worrying when you don't want to.
Sit with any shame that you may have for being anxious,
For being scared,
For having moments or a moment where you're not as brave as you'd like to be.
Sit with these feelings amongst this beautiful breeze,
Amongst these beautiful flowers.
Picture as they blow through the wind.
There is no pressure to change anything.
There is no pressure to leave anything behind,
To transmute anything.
But I just want you to picture yourself sitting with the thing that you have identified,
I am at home in my body,
As your anxiety.
In a setting of beauty,
In a setting of peace,
In a setting of calm,
My body is my safe place.
I want you to hold on to the feeling of giving yourself space,
Of affirming it's okay,
That your feelings are valid.
Even if the things that your mind are telling you aren't always factual,
Both things can be true.
And you're big enough to hold two truths at once.
You're strong enough to hold it.
Take a deep breath in,
Breathing in for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
And hold your breath for four seconds.
And when you breathe out,
I want you to let out a loud audible sigh.
So breathe out.
Let's take another deep breath in,
Breathing in for one,
Two,
Three,
Four.
Hold your breath,
Holding it all in.
And let out another loud audible sigh at the end of your cycle.
Release the tension.
Take another deep breath in,
Filling up your entire belly,
Letting oxygen reach every inch of your body.
And breathe out that tension.
And let's take one more deep breath in,
And hold it.
Hold all that breath close,
Knowing that it is supporting you,
Knowing that it is fortifying you.
And let it go.
I want to affirm that it's okay to be scared.
It's okay to be anxious.
And it's okay to have answers when you don't even haven't even asked the right question yet.
I've been there.
And I have thought myself into a panic attack,
Overthinking symptoms.
And if you are in a place,
Financially,
Spiritually,
Where you can go and seek medical help to help alleviate some of these anxieties,
I deeply encourage you to do it.
I deeply encourage you to do it.
But if you're not,
Find community,
Find family who can help you through this moment,
Who can affirm you through this moment,
Who won't tell you that it's just in your head to just get over it.
So I hope that you got what you needed.
And I'm praying and wishing you well.
I'm praying for ease in your body.
I'm praying for comfort as you rest tonight.
As you walk through your day.
I pray that you're able to escape these moments of anxiety.
I pray that you're able to find reprieve in it all.
I pray that you're able to find community and affirmation through it all.
I pray that you don't gaslight yourself.
And more importantly,
I pray for health and blessings all over your body,
All over your spirit and all over your mind.
I pray these things in the name of Jesus,
In the name of our benevolent ancestors.
Amen.
