I'm so glad that you're here.
Today we will talk about where you focus your energy in your recovery.
You're either focusing on fighting against your addiction or you're fighting for your transformation.
Your mantra for today,
I choose to work for my transformation.
Let's begin.
Let me tell you a story.
When I got sober in 2009,
I was going to my 12-step meetings and I was starting to get a feel for the big picture.
However,
For a few weeks,
I was still holding on to the notion that I was there to figure out my relationship with drinking.
In other words,
Deep down inside,
I was still trying to cheat the system.
I thought I would quit for a bit and that then I would be able to drink normally.
When I proudly announced my goal at one of my first recovery meetings,
The fact that I wanted to learn to drink normally,
People smiled.
Some actually laughed.
And I gotta tell you,
I was very offended.
I felt that I was after all super special and that I was going to be able to do what other people couldn't.
I just figured nobody really understood me.
I thought I would quit for a bit and figure it out.
Well,
I soon learned that I was an alcoholic and that there is no way to ever cheat my body into moderating.
Some people,
Those who are not addicts,
Can actually quit for a while and maybe implement moderation in their lives.
But people who have an addiction like me cannot.
My mind and my body have both gotten hijacked by the process of addiction to alcohol.
Fortunately for me,
I was able to put the last two decades of experience with the information and realize I just had to move forward,
That I couldn't cheat the system.
But those first weeks while I was trying to figure it out and I was very much alone,
Secretly harvesting my own personal plan,
Were really hard.
For starters,
I did not have a mentor,
Which by the way is what a sponsor,
A coach,
Or anyone who has gone through this and is willing to help you may be.
As I mentioned,
I wanted to do things my way.
And lastly,
I thought that this sobriety thing was meant to only be focused on not doing the thing.
In other words,
I put the focus of my every minute of those first weeks on not drinking.
That was it.
I was focused on fighting my addiction.
Period.
Let me tell you,
Those weeks were miserable.
The narrative inside of my head was awful because I was operating from a framework of not being able to do something.
I was pushing away my addiction.
I was resisting it.
I was fighting it.
I didn't have any tools other than a little information,
A few instructions,
But my mind frame was still focused on the wrong thing.
I was in fighting mode.
Fighting against my addiction.
Guess what?
There is actually a different way to navigate from the very beginning so that you're focused on a completely different subject.
Instead of focusing on the what you can't do,
The not drinking,
Or the not using,
Or the not doing the thing,
Whatever your thing is,
What if you shifted your focus to what you can do?
Imagine instead of focusing all your energy and your thoughts and your actions on the possibilities of what you can become through this process of recovery.
How you can transform your life.
What you can create.
Who you are discovering yourself to be.
Are you feeling the difference that just imagining this shift between the lack and the abundance perception?
See,
When you shift the focus of your recovery from fighting your addiction to fighting for your transformation,
All of a sudden things open up.
You go from the state of contraction and stress and resistance where you're focused on the lack what you can't do to opening up to a completely different shift.
There's abundance,
Openness,
Possibility.
You're focusing on creation and transformation and everything shifts.
This concept is mind blowing and you will start exploring this in your life today.
By the way,
If you're in a place where you're listening to this and you're even contracting thinking,
What?
No,
I can't even imagine feeling hope and possibility because right now this freaking sucks.
I hear you.
If you're thinking,
My God,
Is she crazy?
I just want to curl up and die.
I hear you.
I do.
I spent a lot of time wanting to punch people that looked so happy and were talking to me about thriving and creation.
I was like,
Up yours,
Man.
All I want is to survive the next minute without my booze.
I hear you.
But here's the thing.
At some point,
I realized that part of my frustration was the fact that I held no control over what was happening in my world,
That I understood that I could not control my drinking,
That I could not control my life if I was drinking,
That I could not control how I felt in early sobriety.
I felt no control over this journey that I was embarking myself on,
This journey of sobriety.
But there was one thing that I could control.
My attitude,
How I chose to think about this process,
How I chose to take ownership of my decision to recover,
How I chose to do the work,
How I chose to show up like you are today,
How I chose to surrender to this process,
And how I chose to not give up.
So I went from focusing on the lack of alcohol to focusing on the abundance in my life or the availability to create.
By the way,
Creating was so much easier now that alcohol wasn't there ruining everything for me.
And just like that,
I moved from fighting mode into thriving mode.
Now,
This won't happen overnight,
But it begins here.
It begins today.
For me,
The mental plays that birthed the possibility of thriving was truly one that I made in a single second.
It was that shift that you may be experiencing now,
The minute that I understood that I did have a choice on what I decided to focus.
Where your focus goes,
Your energy flows.
It's the same for this.
Today,
The trick to get from one mindset to the other is simple.
Number one,
Today as you go through your day,
Stay aware,
Stay present.
Number two,
When you have a negative feeling,
And you will because you're human,
Stop and think what is going on.
Number three,
What thought or feeling are you having?
Number four,
Is it a thought that is focused on fighting your addiction only?
Number five,
If it is,
Take a deep breath,
Release.
Number six,
Ask yourself,
How can I replace this thought with one that supports my transformation?
That's the practice.
Stay aware,
Go inwards,
Decide to shift.
This is an unfamiliar practice because in addiction,
We are used to navigating life by barreling through the days,
Seeking what we need,
Seeking what we want,
Seeking that fix.
But through this practice,
You will learn to go through life in a way that is so much softer,
So much more aware,
And so much more connected.
This may sound frustratingly intangible and ethereal and so woo woo,
And that's okay.
You will see that recovery opens you up.
And the sooner you give yourself permission to be part of the vulnerable process of healing,
The sooner you will begin to grow.
For the next few minutes,
Be present with your body and your thoughts.
Ask yourself,
How would you like to spend your energy today?
Where has your focus been the past three days?
Would you like to focus on fighting your addiction?
Or would you like to focus on fighting for your transformation?
As I leave you to have a little time alone in contemplation,
Focus on these questions and focus on your breathing.
Reconnect with yourself.
Make decisions on how you plan to focus your energy starting today.
Draw strength from today's mantra.
I choose to work on my transformation.
Take two deep breaths with me.
Thank you for being here.
I'm with you today.
You can do this.
I know and you know that you can.
