We live in a culture that views money as just numbers.
But for many of us,
Money is deeply emotional.
Money is perceived worth,
Value.
Money is family patterns and ancestral history.
Money is so complex,
Both in the individual body,
The way it shapes the nervous system,
And in the way we meet the systems that we live in.
So if you're a person who has a lot of money anxiety,
Whether you have a lot of money or little money,
I offer this as an introduction to how money shapes the nervous system,
And how we can build capacity and flexibility in our nervous system for getting out of the survival pattern that we may have internalized,
The fight,
Flight,
Freeze,
Or fawn that our body may go into when dealing with money or thinking about money.
How we can create more space and capacity by meeting that survival response or those survival responses with curiosity and tenderness.
So before we shift our mindset or release the anxiety or whatever else is offered to us,
I want to invite that we meet whatever's present with tenderness and curiosity,
And allow it to be there,
And trust that it is not here to harm us,
But instead carries a beautiful intelligence and just wants to be witnessed and loved.
So with that in mind,
I'm going to invite you to sit in any position that's comfortable for you,
And bring a hand to your heart if that feels nourishing.
You can also put a hand on any other part of your body that feels good,
Your face,
Your neck,
The top of your thigh.
And I want to invite you to notice what feels good for you,
And to trust the needs of your body as we go through this somatic meditation together.
So we're going to start with in a sitting position,
Maybe we have a hand on our heart space or somewhere else on our body,
And our eyes are open to begin.
And the first thing I want you to do is just gently rotate your head toward your right shoulder,
And then toward your left shoulder.
Toward your right shoulder.
Toward your left shoulder.
Toward your right shoulder.
Toward your left shoulder.
Remembering to breathe as you do that,
And noticing where you are pushing your head past the point of comfort,
Maybe,
Where you're striving or trying to do it right.
Notice if any thoughts of resistance or questioning come up,
Or maybe none of that occurs.
And we're just rotating our head back and forth slowly.
And if you want to try this practice another time,
You can also play with the tempo.
You can speed it up.
Left,
Right,
Left,
Right,
Left,
Right.
And notice what feels best for you.
I prefer a slower pace.
And as you're bringing your head back and forth,
See if you can open your gaze.
So rather than looking at anything specific,
Sort of relax your eyes and your gaze,
And allow yourself to use your peripheral vision,
Sort of a relaxed,
Open focus.
This is a very easeful,
Non-ambitious practice.
And then let's bring that to a close.
And if it feels comfortable and safe,
Close your eyes or soften your gaze,
Whatever works better for you.
And take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your pursed lips like you're blowing out a candle,
Extending that exhale as long as you can.
So in through the nose,
Out through the mouth,
Gently purse your lips as though you're blowing out a candle,
And lengthen that exhale.
Softening your shoulders,
Noticing your body,
Just noticing what it feels like to be you in your body,
And meeting whatever is present with curiosity and kindness.
Noticing the sensations.
So there are probably thoughts and worries.
And then there are feelings,
Sad,
Worried,
Angry.
And then there are the actual sensations.
So is your heart racing?
Is there a vibration in your chest,
A sinking feeling in your belly,
A knotted tension in your shoulders?
Is your jaw clenched?
Does it feel tight?
Are you warm?
Are you cold?
And just meet whatever you notice.
And notice how it feels to meet whatever is present.
Do you feel agitated,
Like you can't sit still?
You might not be able to stick with this.
Or do you feel relaxed,
Calm,
Spacious?
Are you noticing a busy mind,
Thoughts ruminating,
Looping?
Or are you noticing your breath?
Is your breath shallow or is it deep?
There is no right or wrong in this practice.
We are simply being with whatever is present.
And now I'd like you to notice where your body is making contact with whatever is beneath you,
Whether it's the floor,
The chair,
Your bed.
Perhaps your back is against something.
Notice where your sit bones are.
And notice how it feels to sink into the embrace of whatever surface is holding you.
Breathing in whatever way feels nourishing.
And tell yourself,
Reassure your system that you are safe in this moment.
In this particular moment,
There is nowhere to be,
Nothing to do,
And you are safe.
If you get caught up in a loop of ruminating thoughts,
Then you can just drop back into the sensation of meeting the surface beneath you,
Or the pressure of your hand on your chest,
Maybe on your belly,
On your legs.
And just breathe into the depth of this moment where all your needs are met,
All is well,
And you are safe.
And at any time you can return to the candle breathing,
Which is the long,
Slow exhale through gently pursed lips,
In through the nose,
Out through the mouth.
So money is a very real material necessity in our world,
And it's energy,
And it's mathematical.
It's both material and spiritual,
And deeply emotional.
And money itself will never make you feel safe.
Even if it gives you the illusion of safety,
What we want to do is create capacity in our nervous system by teaching our nervous system how to feel safe,
So that it has something to anchor in when it doesn't feel safe.
And noticing how the stress of action,
Or productivity,
Or scarcity,
Or whatever it is,
How the activation in our nervous system that sometimes can feel like anxiety,
And can feel profoundly uncomfortable,
How we can actually survive that and complete that survival experience in the nervous system,
We can give that energy somewhere to go,
And we have the experience of feeling safe in our body,
And so we have more capacity to feel activated in our body,
And know that there will be a return to safety.
And this is a practice,
This is just the beginning of this practice.
So we're just really gently meeting wherever we are,
And starting to come into relationship with the sensations behind the thoughts and feelings,
And the nervous system state that is automatic.
You've done nothing wrong.
It is an automatic nervous system survival response.
And we can really gently and tenderly re-pattern those responses together.
Now take one last really deep breath in through the nose,
And we're going to sigh it out through the mouth,
And you can make noise if that feels comfortable or not,
Just a big release in your out-breath.
And when you're ready,
Gently flutter your eyes open,
Really savoring the transition from inner awareness to outer awareness,
Taking that really slowly,
Kind of noticing that liminal state where you have been so connected inwardly,
And now your eyes are open and you're connected outwardly.
Ah,
Well thank you for doing this practice with me.
