Hi,
This is Clay Stevenson and welcome to Of Mice and Moments,
A podcast that finds significance in the small moments.
The sound of the crowd celebrating my accomplishment gave me a thrill unlike any other.
Hearing their voices raised and their hands celebrating filled me with a sense of pride and self-worth.
I did something they appreciated.
I was able to give them something and in turn they gave me something back.
I was able to take them to a magical land,
A different time,
Through the lyrics,
The playing of my instrument and through the sound of my voice.
They imagined themselves on the precipice of love,
Connecting with someone who before was potentially just beyond their reach.
And then they shared a moment with me as the performer,
The crowd and I locked in a dance,
Experiencing solidarity through vibrations in the air,
The sound waves.
When that happens it's otherworldly,
That shared communal experience.
But in order to make that happen what the crowd doesn't see or hear are the countless hours spent rehearsing,
Preparing and agonizing over every word,
Note and chord I strummed or played.
I'm sure they assumed I practiced but I can't imagine they knew the extent of the time,
Energy and the emotion I poured into the music.
However,
I credit that preparation for allowing us both,
The audience and I,
The opportunity to have that shared experience,
To move to another world together,
At least for a brief time.
I credit good practice,
Proper practice,
Practicing the right way for the success of the performance.
To practice well you need discipline and self-control.
There are a host of processes that go into a holistic practice routine and I don't want it to sound like I always get it right but sometimes I do okay.
Sometimes it works out.
Sometimes the time and energy pays off.
Practice and preparation are vital.
They allow me to step onto the stage,
Not overly concerned with the way my hands move or the sound of my voice.
In many ways practice puts me at ease.
And if the only answer for a successful performance was practice,
I'd be good.
But that's not the case.
I've practiced for hours and hours every day in preparation for one performance and when reaching the stage,
I froze.
Sometimes I have stage fright.
You may not notice it if you ever hear me play or sing,
Not because I'm an exceptional talent but because I've done it enough.
Time and repetition have helped me deal with my performance anxiety.
But once in a while it comes back with a vengeance.
Specifically at my university,
I sometimes have opportunities to perform for the community but I find it most difficult to perform for peers.
It's easier for me to perform for thousands of strangers.
I can shut out the noise and take myself to a place that is similar to performing by myself in my room.
But when there are people I know in the audience,
The stage fright is real.
I've used many techniques to deal with stage fright over the years meditation,
Relaxation techniques,
Medication and tireless preparation,
But I have not found the answer until recently.
I was sitting in my car awaiting a solo performance.
It was a one off performance to a small crowd of peers,
Friends and colleagues.
I was running through the music in my head.
I could play it backwards and forwards.
I could touch where the keys were with my eyes closed,
But my hands were cold.
I was anxious.
And as I sat in contemplation,
I found that what gave me the most peace and ultimately set me free was the idea that all of these experiences that we have in this life good and bad,
Anxious or peaceful.
These are what make us human.
To be human is to enjoy the praise at the end of a good performance,
But also to endure the anxiety and stress of the moments before you step on stage.
So sitting in the car,
I practiced living into the stress,
Embracing the anxiety,
Welcoming it and declaring that is what makes me human.
It's a gift to have the opportunity to be so uncomfortable.
I don't experience stage fright on a daily basis,
So this is a special moment.
As I sat in the car,
Anticipating the performance,
I welcomed that stage fright.
I basked in the moment and appreciated the feelings I was experiencing.
So as you contemplate potential solutions for your stress,
Anxiety,
Concerns in this life,
Maybe embracing them as part of this humanity,
As part of this experience will allow you to gain appreciation for something that otherwise might cause you fear or dread.
And like me,
Specific practice and preparation for events or situations may help reduce stress.
But I found in the end that practicing being human helped most.
Thank you.
