Hi,
This is Clay Stevenson,
And welcome to of Mice and Moments,
A podcast that finds significance in the small moments.
My dad was the kind of man who would take one for the team.
He was a baby boomer,
A child of parents who had gone through the second world war and granted he had some outdated views and perspectives,
But he taught me that a,
Quote,
Real man was willing to take the hard path and sometimes take the fall.
For millennials,
Dare I say,
Take the L.
Especially if you are a leader,
He would say you should be willing to lay yourself down for the good of those following you.
Maybe it was his military background,
I don t know,
But later in life I found it almost counter-culture that my idea of masculinity was one steeped in humility and sacrifice.
In modern day rhetoric we hear extremes.
We hear that a man s masculinity is a dirty companion of the patriarchy.
Or on the other side,
We hear that if a man takes second place or a back seat,
Then he s a beta,
He s not a real man.
My dad juxtaposed those two positions and said that if you had to make a hard choice against your nature or take a back seat for the greater good,
That was being a man.
When a colleague came to me recently and expressed their disappointment in how I had handled a situation,
I took a good look at that situation and I was defensive.
I couldn t see how I could have handled it any differently.
I was under a different impression of what the process and outcome should have been.
I immediately realized that other parties involved could have done things differently or did not follow through the way they said they were going to follow through.
I immediately was the victim.
However,
As I let the situation breathe,
As I gave myself a little distance from my initial reaction,
I saw things I could have done better.
I realized that in my limited role of authority and leadership,
I could have and should have handled things differently.
To remedy the situation would require a sacrifice on my part.
Not only expressing my apologies for the way I handled things and humbling myself,
But also absorbing some of the extra work that would come with creating a solution.
Coming to the conclusion that I would make that decision and absorb the extra work allowed me to let go.
It allowed a respite.
I changed the direction of the conversation from one that was two sides pitted against each other to two sides working together to the same end.
Flipping the script this way was taking one for the team,
Taking the higher road.
Although I don't think this situation means that I'm brave or courageous,
The act of putting others first and laying down your pride and will is something that is brave and courageous.
I'm proud of the fact that I'm carrying on a practice and legacy that my dad left.
And while I hope this kind of situation doesn't happen again,
I know that I'm ready for it if it does.
And whether or not you're a man,
This principle is one to live by.
I encourage you to practice taking a breath and sometimes make the harder choice to absorb extra work or sacrifice your pride for the betterment of others.
If you do,
Maybe you'll find some respite and the peace you need.
Thank you.
