Accept Grief With Love

Love will help heal grief. But first, we must allow ourselves the space to grieve. I do a talk on that and what I went through with the recent Fires on Maui. I do a talk and deep meditation to help give you the space to be quiet and accept and be present with grief.

Transcript

Aloha.

I'm Reverend Cindy Paulus and I've lived on Maui for 34 years and I've been here of course in broadcasting and radio for that time.

And over this last week it was unbelievable what really happened.

We had multiple fires occurring and they were upcountry and in a couple of locations,

Kula and then the other side above Makawao and then some fires towards Kihei and then we had some fires also in different areas,

One even in Paia and then there was the one in Lahaina that was put out but during the night when firefighters who were already exhausted were fighting other fires,

The one in Lahaina sparked up,

Went down and burnt a couple of the gas stations which created a fire wall and the whole firewall went down and destroyed all of Front Street in Lahaina and many historic sacred buildings.

And so I spent a week now,

You know of course I meditate every day,

But what I was doing is I was looking at the news when I first woke up and I would just be devastated by what I saw.

And then I'd meditate and find that I have to work so hard to get any kind of inner peace and get to that place where I could digest what really was happening.

Plus the air was full of smoke.

Now probably a lot of you have gone through wildfires.

Fires are getting more and more frequent around the world,

But if you've been through fires where there are multiple fires and there's buildings that are burning down and there's cars,

In this particular case many,

Many structures including buildings and cars and I think there were over 2,

000 buildings that have,

Maybe yeah,

Maybe even more than that at this point.

It's still evolving as I'm talking here.

So all of that is such a huge thing to come to terms with.

Now I stayed very busy,

Very,

Very busy doing lots of live interviews and reports and trying to do as much as I could do,

But if any of you have gone through a situation like this,

You know it never feels like it's enough.

Everyone here is trying to help.

Everyone here at this moment still is doing as much as they can do.

And the sad part is it's not enough because more has to be done at this point.

Thousands are still in shelters.

People are trying to leave at the airport.

It's,

There's still no real functioning cell phones in lots of areas and there's still people who haven't been found.

So you know how that is.

So when you go through that,

You're so busy taking care of things that you don't stop.

Now this morning,

It was the first time I've really had a chance to not go into work and to stop and to digest and I listened to a beautiful talk on Insight Timer about grief and it really hit me very,

Very hard about the need to stop and allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

When you're doing a lot you don't necessarily feel,

But then that what's bottled up when you're not allowing yourself to feel can be so powerful and it can burst out in anger and frustration and many,

Many ways,

You know.

So it's so important to take the time to be still and to allow yourself to digest and to absorb and to be,

You know,

Be aware of what you're going through.

It's even harder still and more important to accept what has happened.

Acceptance is something that you learn in meditation,

Especially I feel in Buddhist tradition,

And it can take a long time to get to that point inside where you understand enough and stop questioning and just accept because part of us wants to get angry and rage and upset.

I found myself,

And I very rarely get angry,

I found myself that first day just being angry and I don't like being angry.

I think it's like I'm all about aloha and love and light and I was angry.

And somebody said,

Well what are you angry at?

I said,

Everything.

I'm just angry.

It's not one thing,

It's all of it.

And then I started saying it doesn't seem fair.

It doesn't seem right.

This isn't,

You know,

And of course we go through any time of suffering and it never feels fair.

It never feels right.

We aren't used to having all of that happen and our nature is one where we expect good things to happen.

You know,

I have a wonderful minister friend who used to say it all the time,

Life is good all the time.

Now if I were to say that right now,

It would get people very upset.

If I were to say that here on Maui,

That life is good all the time,

They'd have a very hard time understanding what I was saying.

But in a higher perspective,

Maybe a much,

Much higher perspective,

Even though there's been all this tragic loss of life,

Of businesses,

Of animals,

Where,

We have to ask,

Where is the good in that?

And I have to really dig deep.

Even now,

Even after taking time and digesting and accepting and meditating,

It's hard to say that this is good.

But if we take the meaning of the word good as God and that everything is energy and that everything changes and that part of our whole energy field that we're in right now,

There is this fiery energy that always,

I call the great destroyer on the cosmic levels,

There is a powerful force that is happening in many places with destruction and destroying.

But we have to remember the Phoenix and we have to remember that things have to be taken away and rebuilt sometimes.

The important part is how you respect and how you rebuild and how you honor the past and make way for a lovely new way,

A new way of thinking,

A new energy that is of light and of love and respectful.

There were many,

Many historic buildings that got burnt down in these fires and those are gone,

You know,

But,

But their ashes remain.

Now we save ashes of people when they're cremated,

You know,

We put them in a jar.

We do something creative with them these days.

There's very interesting ways to work with them,

But ashes can be considered sacred,

You know.

Many people look at an ash,

A cremation jar,

You know,

Maybe an interesting sculpture to make out of it,

And they think of that as the person,

You know,

That that's,

That's so-and-so.

We know that that isn't the person.

We know that spirit and that person is,

That was just the ashes from that spirit and that person.

But also when we think of fires,

Those ashes are really sacred and they have found when forest fires happen that the ashes have a lot of energy and actually can help.

They can help rebuild and actually encourage regrowth in a beautiful way.

And I'm thinking about this as I'm talking,

You know,

How do we grieve?

I mean,

How do we take the time to accept that loss?

I wrote this this morning.

How do we grieve the loss,

The suffering,

The pain?

We grieve the death of so many known and unknown names.

We do what we can and we realize it's not enough.

And so we grieve.

With each breath we breathe,

The smell of burning brings fear and worry and we pray.

We cannot deny as more heartbreaking news brings a tear to our eyes what this grief is.

But what is grief?

What is grief but love persevering?

And love mixes that grief with a sigh,

Heartbroken,

Open,

Wide as we cry and watch the smoke from the fire fill the sky.

And there are ashes left behind to form a sacred ground.

And we must use that energy to remember how to rise again and try to honor those who died.

We grieve,

We cry,

And try to understand why,

Accepting that there is no answer.

A cloud weeps intertwined with the phoenix that rises high to form a new beginning,

A promise to keep to those who died,

To respect the grief we feel.

And as we build back with pieces of our shattered hearts,

The love that never says goodbye.

With grief and love,

We will honor the past.

As we open the portal to allow the light to shine at last,

Like a rainbow from heaven,

Where those who died reside,

To the sacred ground of Lahaina.

And we grieve.

But with Aloha,

We will survive.

So that came to me this morning.

And it's interesting because I meditate every morning and I write every morning.

And I didn't write these last few days because I felt there was more than I could really express in words.

I'm sure some of you might have come to that point sometimes where there was just too much to try to put into words.

You've seen people on posts saying no words.

I was at that point this week,

No words.

But what if we just sit together here and meditate and pray?

Just breathe and accept and think of those that we might have not taken time to grieve for.

To think of events that happened that was too much to express,

That was just too hard to explain.

Things that happened in COVID and the after effects and things that happened after the after effects and that ripple of water that never got really understood or explained.

Let's just breathe them in and feel where they're gone to.

Is that in your brain?

Was that in your head?

Is that intention in your neck or your shoulders?

Is that in your heart?

How does your heart feel?

Breathe in and let go.

Breathe in and release any tension or any pain.

Breathe in light and love and allow that light and love to go way up above you and come down through you and come in front of you and either side of you until you're in a light field energy field with light and great love.

A love that honors and perseveres.

A love that comes from the spirit that understands.

A love that heals the hurt.

A love that is there always just waiting to go to work and you feel it.

Let it come into your body.

Let it come into all of your chakras and calm the light and feel in your feeling center.

Is there anything there that you've been hiding and just stashing down because you weren't ready to feel it?

Feel that now and breathe again down into your whole root chakra and pelvis area and just release and release and release anything there that needs to be accepted and released.

Forgive and accept.

Breathing in forgiveness.

Breathing out acceptance.

Breathing in light.

Breathing that light through all of your body,

Your mind and your soul.

And allowing yourself in this protective beautiful light filled bubble you're in to just feel how you feel.

Breathing through that feeling.

Breathing acceptance into what's happened.

Knowing the power of this love inside of you to heal and to make you whole again.

Feel your heart healing.

Feel that love doing its wonderful energy work so that you can release and breathe out anything there that's been a burden in your heart.

Now just be and allow that light that comes from the highest source of light,

The light behind the light to come through and enlighten every single cell of your body.

Every atom being restored and redeemed and renewed.

Giving you strength and courage and power.

Feel that goodness.

That goodness that makes you aware that God is good all the time.

Feel that goodness in you right now.

Allow yourself to be present in that spirit of goodness.

And now slowly come back feeling yourself recharged.

Feeling all of those lovely feelings now being accepted.

Feel your mind,

Your heart and your soul fully present in you here and now in this moment.

And now know that you are able to deal with anything you need to deal with my friend.

I thank you for allowing your heart to be open and strong and healed with love.

And I thank you for being present in this goodness that is there right now in you.

God bless you always with love and light.

Reviews

God Bless you. You are such an inspiration. As always, your kind words and Love are much appreciated. Thank you. (-:

Thank you for guiding us toward goodness even when grieving.