In our holy tradition,
We have many different names for God,
Because the infinite manifests itself in infinite ways.
So,
Just like a human being can play parent,
Child,
Sibling,
Worker,
Creative,
Helper,
Friend,
And yet still be this one person,
All the more so the divine has many textures in its expression.
In this meditation,
We're going to be exploring the quality of Gvurah,
Sometimes translated as strength,
But in my opinion is more correctly translated as containment.
The ability to have and hold boundaries.
Gvurah shows up on the left side of the body,
Attributed to the left arm,
And its opposite is chesed,
Loving kindness,
This infinite flow of abundance and love that manifests itself with the right arm.
And an infinite flow of abundance can be a beautiful thing,
Like rain is gorgeous,
But too much rain,
Without containment,
Without boundary,
Turns into a flood.
And that's definitely not gorgeous.
So we need both chesed,
This abundance,
And Gvurah,
The boundary to create the quality that sits just at the center in the place of the heart.
Tiferet,
Beauty.
I like to think of chesed as an infinite flow of color,
And if you just see the same color forever and ever and ever,
It starts becoming dull.
But if that color is contained with the quality of Gvurah,
It can turn into a rose.
And that's where beauty lies.
Many of us really struggle in having the capacity to exercise Gvurah.
We love saying yes to people,
We love being generous,
But being able to say no,
And have proper boundaries,
Allows us to say yes with so much more joy.
One way we see this quality of Gvurah expressed,
Is in the name Shaddai.
It is the divine name that means,
That said Dai,
Enough.
This is how nature is created,
By saying we're going to have this much quality of this animal,
Or this tree,
Or this rock,
Or this ocean.
Everything bounded,
And all together there is so much beauty.
And with the desire to support you in creating more beauty in your life,
This is not a typical meditation where you simply follow the guidance of imagery and emotion.
I'm going to invite you to actively participate in following the instructions to exercise your will,
Your voice,
And your boundaries.
That just practicing using your voice and exercising your will,
In this environment,
Will translate to the ability to do so in your day-to-day life.
So if these exercises speak to you,
I invite you to listen to this meditation often.
So that you have more opportunities to practice and to integrate the ability to say no,
And the ability to say yes,
When it feels absolutely true for you.
I would like to note that some of these exercises might be triggering for you.
So I invite you to keep checking in with yourself.
And if the latter is the case,
Then I encourage you to pause and come back to your heart and to your breath,
And strengthen yourself again.
The exercises do increase in difficulty as you move through the meditation.
So you can decide if you want to simply repeat exercise number one,
Or if you want to go ahead and increase the difficulty and engage in this play of speaking,
Of feeling,
And of honoring your boundaries.
With blessings from Jerusalem.
I invite you to find a comfortable seat,
Where you can be sitting erect and holding your head high.
And become aware of your breath,
Of how you are being breathed in this moment,
In this moment,
And this moment,
Of how the divine is reconnecting you to your Neshama,
To your soul,
Through the act of Neshama,
Of breath,
Of how your soul is a ray of the infinite light that is the divine.
Of how your soul is an expression of all of the qualities of that infinite light.
And as you breathe in and out,
Allow yourself to feel how that infinite light shines brightly just above the crown of your head.
An or chadash,
A new light,
Starts here and makes its way into your body through the etzah chayim,
The tree of life.
Making its way into your head and infusing the right side of your head with wisdom,
Fochma,
And the left side of your head with understanding,
Bina,
And feel that light making its way into your throat,
The place of knowledge,
Da'at,
And down into your right arm,
The place of loving kindness,
Chesed,
And your left arm,
Guvura.
And feel how that light combines from those two and meets in the middle of your heart,
The place of tiferet,
Of beauty.
And as that light further descends into your right hip,
Feel the quality of everlasting success.
Netzach,
Activating there.
And as it moves to your left hip,
Feel gratitude fill you.
Hod,
And feel those lights meet in the middle between your legs,
In the place of connection,
Yisod.
And that light fully manifests itself at the bottom of your feet,
As kingship,
Malchut.
So that you can experience a body that is present with divine light and divine qualities.
And I invite you to focus your attention on the quality of guvura,
Of containment and boundaries.
And choose for the next little while that you will practice creating containers for abundance by embodying the divine nature of El Shaddai.
The ability to say no.
This stops here.
So in this meditation,
I'm going to invite you to engage in a series of exercises that I learned from the trauma integration protocol course.
This is a protocol created by Eric Waltersdorf.
And this exercise is part of how we create safety in the body before we engage in somatic trauma work.
And we're going to begin with exercise one.
I'm going to ask you a series of questions.
And your job is to say no.
Just a clean no.
With no other words around it.
And no explanation around it.
And as you hear my request,
And as you express that no,
Keep your awareness in your body and notice what happens there.
Notice what sensations arise.
Perhaps shift in your muscle tone or heart rate or breathing.
Perhaps you notice a change in temperature.
A shift in emotions or mental state.
Perhaps thoughts or memories flush into your mind.
Take note of all of those things while still being present with the exercise.
And when the exercise is done,
I will say we have completed exercise one.
And now we begin.
Could you pass me a tissue?
I'm a bit thirsty.
Could you get me some water?
Could you tell me the name of your favorite animal?
Would it be okay if I borrowed your sweater?
I'm thirsty.
Could I get a drink?
Would you please turn off this track and we'll come back to this exercise another time?
Would you scratch my nose?
I can't reach it.
Would you tell me how I look in this outfit?
I'm still quite thirsty.
Could I please have a drink?
Wow,
I love that outfit.
Could I borrow it next time I go on a date?
And now we have completed exercise one.
I invite you to take a moment to notice what arose in your body during this exercise.
Did you notice any difference in muscle tone,
Breathing,
Heart rate,
Temperature,
Posture?
Did any desires to shift come up in you?
Did any emotions arise?
Perhaps you saw images flashing through your mind.
Or memories came up.
Part of this practice is to become a student of what is.
To allow it.
And to watch it.
Even as you're practicing using your voice and your will.
If you found exercise one challenging,
You may wish to consider repeating it again by going to 17 minutes.
Or you can continue on to exercise two.
Here again,
You will be asked to say no without any explanation.
Only I'm going to up the ante on the challenge of the requests that I make.
Again,
I invite you to keep your awareness in your body and notice any sensations,
Emotions,
Or thoughts that arise.
As you continue to respond with a simple no.
Could you just move over to the right a little bit?
What if you just lean back?
Will you do that for me?
I hear that you're thirsty.
Would you like a glass of water?
Could you state your full name for me,
Please?
Could you tell me your full name?
It's not really that complicated.
I just need your first,
Middle,
And last name.
Oh,
I'm so cold.
Can you please turn on the heat?
I'm really,
Really cold.
Could I have a blanket or something?
Just a sweater,
Maybe?
I know you're planning on giving that game away.
Could I have it?
Please?
I really like that game.
If you had a million dollars,
Would you mind giving me just one of those dollars?
What about 50 cents?
Could I have 50 cents?
You don't have to be so cheap.
Could I at least have a quarter?
End of Exercise 2.
Did any desires to shift come up in you?
Did any emotions arise?
Perhaps you saw images flashing through your mind?
Or memories came up?
Part of this practice is to become a student of what is.
To allow it and to watch it,
Even as you're practicing using your voice and your will.
If you found Exercise 2 challenging,
You may wish to consider repeating it again by going to 21 minutes and 10 seconds.
And now we will continue with Exercise 3.
So you can decide what language you're going to use to answer my pushing you to change your mind,
But the goal of the exercise is to continue to stay strong with the favorite food that you chose.
So,
For example,
If my favorite food were spaghetti,
And you try to change my mind,
I might say,
It's still spaghetti.
Actually,
My favorite food is spaghetti.
Nope,
Spaghetti.
Any of those answers are fine,
As long as I'm sticking to my favorite food.
And again,
I invite you throughout to keep your awareness in your body.
Notice what sensations arise,
Emotions,
Thoughts,
As you're keeping your stance and engaging in communication,
Whilst being very clear.
And when we complete the exercise,
I will let you know by saying,
This is the end of Exercise 3.
And now we'll begin.
So what is your favorite food?
Oh,
That couldn't possibly be.
I haven't seen you eat that in weeks.
I mean,
Don't you think that's like,
A little off for your type of personality?
Why don't you consider this other food?
I bet you just haven't been to the best restaurants in the world,
Because they would never serve that there.
Or perhaps you just haven't traveled far and wide enough,
Because in those exotic locations over there,
They serve the most amazing dishes.
Don't you think that's going to make you fat?
I really think you should consider this other dish.
I made it myself,
And I think you're going to love it.
No,
I mean,
I think it's going to be your favorite.
It's everyone else's favorite.
Why do you have to be so close-minded?
Can't you just explore other favorite things?
This is the end of Exercise 3.
Take a slow,
Deep breath.
And again,
Notice what has arisen in your body throughout Exercise 3.
And just allow those sensations to be,
Without needing to put story or explanation around them.
But know that just having engaged in this meditation is strengthening your capacity to be clear and confident,
To use your voice,
Speak your mind,
And hold your own.
I recommend you engage in this practice as often as you can,
Because even just responding to a recording will plant in your mind the capacity to say no when you mean no,
Yes when you mean yes,
And clearly use your voice without the need to experience any agitation in your body at all.
I invite you to fully come back into the present moment by wiggling your fingers and wiggling your toes and inviting a stretch and a yawn and maybe shake your whole body out a little bit.
I bless you with continued practice,
With confidence of mind,
Confidence of heart,
And confidence of speech.
Wishing you much light from Jerusalem.
