Here are two magic words that give you a little bit more space between you and what you're feeling or experiencing.
It gives you the space some call response ability,
The ability to respond based on the present moment as opposed to react based on the past or future.
There is a certain space of response ability.
That allows you to be with.
Whatever it is that you're feeling,
No matter how big it might feel.
So the two magic words are.
I know this.
I know this.
You could experiment with adding these either in your mind or saying them out loud.
Saying them out loud to yourself,
Maybe saying them out loud to someone else,
Maybe practicing by saying it to yourself.
I notice that I feel anxious,
For example,
As opposed to I'm anxious.
You might be able to sense the difference.
Between those two,
They're quite different.
I'm anxious.
I know this.
I'm anxious.
The difference is the distance that I create between the me who notices that I'm anxious and the me who is feeling anxious.
And then I can go a step deeper.
I notice I'm anxious.
Anxiety is an abstract concept,
Ultimately.
So what is it really,
Experientially,
Directly,
Right now?
I notice that maybe my throat feels tight.
Even I can feel that because I feel your eyes on me.
I notice that maybe my armpits are sweaty.
I notice.
Maybe like a tension or a tightness in my chest,
My solar plexus.
And you can also see that this causes me to slow down.
When I just am anxious,
I'm in the intensity of the reaction.
There's no space for awareness.
When I shift into,
I notice,
I force myself to slow down.
What is it really that I notice?
I have to become curious.
And just by becoming curious,
I slow down the whole process.
It's like a snowball catching it early on,
As opposed to a building so much speed and momentum that it's just going to keep rolling no matter what.
I feel it whatever it is,
Anxiety,
Anger,
Sadness,
Anything that might feel quite big.
Just adding,
I notice.
I notice I feel anxious.
And then,
What is it really?
I notice I feel sad.
What is it really?
I notice I feel angry.
What is it really?
I notice.
And again,
You can say this internally,
Out loud to yourself,
Or maybe out loud to someone else.
It can be quite helpful in conflict too.
Two magic words,
Just remembering to add them and see how that changes your felt experience.
I know this.
