Stop Over-Explaining And Start Owning Your Journey

You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to justify why you changed jobs, ended a relationship, or took a different path. Listen in to learn to own who you are now—no backstory, no apology. Say it simply, with confidence. Then move forward.

Transcript

Welcome to Sparked.

I'm Cara Bradley.

I've got a really interesting story for you today.

It's about a great episode of the television series The Bear.

Sloppy,

Gruff cousin Richie,

He spends time at this Michelin star restaurant where he sharpens up,

He shifts his attitude,

And he starts wearing suits.

People notice throughout the episode,

Richie,

You look great.

Richie,

What's going on?

You've sharpened up.

His response every time,

With confidence,

Was,

I wear suits now.

There was no explanation,

No backstory,

Just a declaration.

I wear suits now.

How often do you explain yourself when you don't need to?

I know I have.

I've justified many things.

Why I transferred colleges,

Why I quit my MBA,

Why I let my hair go silver,

Why I sold my yoga studio,

Left Philly,

And lived on the road for three years.

At 60 years old,

I finally see it.

I don't owe anyone an explanation,

And neither do you.

I am done.

I am not justifying any longer.

No more oversharing for me.

So here's where I stand.

I'm a performance coach.

I cut through excuses and get people into action.

I'm a writer and the creator of Sparked.

I share what works.

Hard work,

Disrupting patterns,

Pushing limits,

And never staying stuck.

I am building a fired up community on Substack that refuses to settle for good enough.

I hope you'll join us.

So this is who I am,

Period,

End of story.

Like Richie,

I found a new level of confidence,

And it's working.

Now it's your turn.

Who are you right now?

Can you state it simply without overexplaining?

Decide.

Decide who you are.

Own it.

No backstory.

No justification.

I wear suits now.

Thank you,

Cousin Richie.

Reviews

Great talk! I got a lot from this - I don't have a clear answer to this, and that won't help me "sell" myself (I am really terrible at interviews). Any guidance on what to do now and next steps? Thank you for the disruption!

Love this! Thank you for this empowering message for all of us over-explainers. ❤️

Great, thank you I needed to hear this today. Namaste my friend. Have a beautiful day.

Cara, this is fantastic!!!
Sign me in, I am going to work at not explaining myself or justifying. 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

Very affecting! Straight and to the point. Thank you for so clearly, and accurately speaking to a behavioral pattern that I myself have long struggled with, rarely conscious in the moment that there is an alternative to needlessly explaining myself. The “I wear suits now” reference to inhabiting a newfound sense of self was on point. Thank you!

Really enjoyed this! It’s going to be difficult but I’m going to stop over explaining.

Straight to the point. Thank you for this life lesson wrapped in a gift box!

Thank you so much. You spoke of freedom!! I really needed to hear that.

Point blank and to the point. Wow I entertained watching that show after the award ceremony and it's weird how you are able to make such a valid conclusion from a one liner. No more over sharing, no more over explaining. Got it thank you.

Thanks!

Thank you Cara, I will use this advice today. Namaste 🙏🏾☀️

Love the boldness and straight forward approach with no explanation required in a pleasant manner that's professional. Thanks for your constructive 2 minutes.

Go girl! At 62 I too have at last gained that personal confidence to do as I please without explanation....and it feels good and liberating. Go girlfriend!