Why Being Busy Is A Choice

Why are we rushing through life proclaiming to be so “crazy busy?” Stop this insanity. Learn how to go beyond your busy self, and instead, be your best self. In this podcast, Cara talks about being busy as a state of mind and body and how you get to choose to live in it or not.

Transcript

Welcome to On the Verge.

I am your host Kara Bradley bringing you weekly blasts of no hype,

No BS advice,

Some essential practices,

Some strategies to help you wake up,

Show up,

And shine every single day.

Today I want to speak with you about the word,

The state,

The addiction we have to being busy.

Busy.

Busy.

We hear it every single day.

I have to tell you one of the things that gets under my skin,

And I'll tell you why in a moment,

Is when I see people and oftentimes you know you see them on the street,

You see them in the store,

You see them at work,

And they say,

Oh my gosh you're so busy.

And I say to them,

No I'm not.

I'm not busy.

I'm not busy.

I used to be busy.

I used to be addicted to be,

To being busy.

I used to be addicted to the state,

The physical,

Emotional,

And mental state of being busy.

But I've made a choice to not live that way,

And so can you.

Busy is a state.

It's a frenzy.

It's a speed.

It's a rush.

And we're so addicted to this speed and rush that we don't even know how to slow ourselves down.

So now when people say you're so busy,

It's,

I don't know,

You know,

I can't fully explain why it irks me,

But it feels like I want to say don't put your state on me.

I mean basically when somebody tells me,

Oh my gosh you're so busy,

They're really just saying that they're really busy.

They don't know what I'm doing.

It may seem like I'm all over the place,

But I'm not.

Right?

So kind of bringing you a little bit of my irritation,

And I know it's unconscious,

So I'm not judging anybody.

So if you say it or have said it,

It's quite alright.

I don't even remember,

Honestly.

But just think about it.

Think about your sense of being busy.

How often do you say to yourself and to others,

I'm crazy busy.

I'm crazy busy.

What the heck does that mean?

Crazy,

Right?

Does it mean that you are so out of control that you have no choice in the matter?

What does that mean,

Crazy busy?

And when we can just shine a light on it like anything else in our lives,

When we can become aware,

We could start to change it.

I don't want to be crazy busy,

Right?

Life is short.

Life is precious.

I don't want to be this whirlwind of doing and speeding around life.

I want to show up.

I want to show up for myself and for my family and for those that come in and out of my life.

I don't want to be crazy busy,

Guys.

I don't want you to be either.

And it's a choice.

So busy is a choice.

Even if you have a thousand things that are expected of you today,

Busy is a choice that we make.

So our culture has become addicted to busy.

And in my feeling,

In my experience,

In my own life,

Busy feels like speed.

When I choose to be busy,

Right,

When I or I default into busy,

I guess I could say is probably a better way of saying that.

When I default into busy,

I walk faster.

I talk faster.

I think faster.

My energy is faster.

My breath is faster.

My heart rate's faster,

Right?

Everything goes faster when we're in this sense of busy.

I mean,

You could say,

You know,

Busy is just like stress,

Right?

It's busy is that invisible gas that we call stress that we don't even realize we are living in.

And we all are.

So when we say to someone,

Oh my gosh,

You're so busy,

It's sort of like saying you're stressed.

You're on speed.

You're on crack.

So let's look at ourselves first.

What does busy feel like in your body?

What does busy feel like in your breath?

How do you speak when you're in that state of busy?

And how can we switch that?

So lately,

I have been playing with this.

I actually am creating a new keynote speech,

So I'm gonna test it out on you guys.

Are you being busy me or best me?

What's the difference between busy me and best me?

For me,

Best me,

There's space.

There's space to think,

Right?

There's that space to really sense what's happening right now in and around you.

Best in,

When I'm in my best me,

I'm open and available.

I'm clear and alert.

I'm at ease.

I'm in flow.

I feel like I'm just more authentic,

More genuinely me.

I feel more whole.

So I've been really,

I've been disclosing a lot about what's been cracking open for me.

And I've talked about just,

You know,

The sense of loneliness,

Being disconnected and sad,

And also how I have felt like I've put myself on pause in order to get stuff done.

Also the last two episodes.

And so what has emerged from all of that opening and unblocking of some pretty deep stuff in my own life,

I have recognized that there's really these two speeds.

And of course there's more than two,

But these two very obvious speeds for me.

There's the busy speed,

The speed of busy,

And then there's the sense of being in my best me.

My best me is not on speed.

My best me may be excited,

That's different,

But my best me is right here right now on the verge,

Right in this moment.

Busy me or best me.

When we can start to recognize that moment to moment,

Right,

This is our mindfulness practice,

Then we can start to make change.

We can recognize and interrupt ourselves when we are in that state of busy,

And we can find our way back to that sense of best,

Where I'm at my best,

Where my body feels my best,

Where my heart is open,

Where my throat is clear,

Where I'm feeling generous and genuine.

Busy or best,

Right,

Speed or space,

Frazzled or flow,

Chaos or calm and clear.

There's all these different ways to look,

And look we must.

Look we must,

Otherwise we get pulled away and caught up in the wave of how our culture is living.

I don't want to be conventional.

The last thing I want to be is just riding on the wave of cultural norms and conditions.

Stop that train right now,

Thank you very much.

I'm getting off.

I'm going to live my own life at my own speed,

Being aware of my own states of being,

And when I notice that I've gotten caught up in the default condition of speed and busy and crazy busy,

Then I need to know how to interrupt that pattern and shift back into the best me I can be.

The most authentic me.

Connecting with me.

So I've been talking about this,

These sacred hours in our days,

The morning,

The powering up of ourself,

And the powering down in the evening,

And my morning time,

My morning routine has shifted tremendously in the last six weeks.

I can't believe it.

I talked about it,

I talked about it in the last episode,

Coming home to yourself.

I'm spending,

For myself,

Now this,

You know,

Don't feel badly if you can't do this because you know we've all got to make our own way,

But for me I'm spending about two hours in the morning with myself,

Journaling,

Not like writing ferociously,

Just listing,

Bullet pointing,

Exposing.

Time and quiet,

You can call it meditation,

But it's not really as formal as I've done in the past.

It's more just,

It's more just being,

Right,

Being with myself,

Allowing myself to dream,

To imagine,

To be honest,

And this morning I just wrote,

You know,

What I want more of,

What I want more of in my life,

And I just listed it,

Full-blown honesty.

And this is what being in our best state allows us to do.

It's what,

It's the space that is open,

That opens up,

When we're not just in the default state of speed or busy.

So can we stop this insanity?

Can we stop the insanity of telling others and telling ourselves that we are crazy busy?

That is no way to live.

We have a choice.

We have a choice to stop the train,

To stop the insanity.

What if you chose to not be busy,

To not default to that sense of being busy?

What if instead you chose your best self moment to moment?

Yep,

It is possible,

My friends,

It truly is.

So I'd like to do a short practice with you right now.

So whatever you're doing,

Whether you're listening to this while you're driving or cooking or walking or however you find your way to me,

Thank you very much by the way,

I truly appreciate your ear.

I don't take it lightly,

But wherever you are you can do this.

And it's just a repeating question.

It's a repeating question to start to uncover and unblock some of the kind of the default patterns that we fall into.

And so the question is,

I'm gonna find it in my notes,

Oh there it is,

It's in my scribble.

The question is,

Who are you when you're not busy?

Who are you?

And you can simply just answer,

I am,

And fill in the blank.

So I'll give you a moment to answer to yourself.

This is gonna be a practice,

Right,

So it may be a little slower.

This could be a little more space here,

So don't think that I've stopped the recording.

And then I'll give you my answer just so that we can compare notes.

Here we go,

Who are you when you are not busy?

I am clear.

Who are you when you're not busy?

I feel free.

Who are you when you are not busy?

I am myself.

Who are you when you are not busy?

I am happy.

A couple more.

Who are you when you're not busy?

I am available.

Who are you when you're not busy?

I am ready.

All right,

My friends,

Busy is a choice.

Busy or best,

It's your choice.

And so my takeaway is here for you this week.

Beware of busy me.

Beware,

Right,

You could say be aware,

But I want to say beware.

Beware of busy me because busy me is on speed,

Is doing everything fast.

Busy me is not connected to source,

To self,

To intelligence.

Busy me is rote,

It's default,

It's being on this runaway train with the rest of our culture on speed.

Beware of busy me.

And when you notice her or him start to arise,

Interrupt it.

Interrupt it with a snap of your finger,

Interrupt it with a drink of water,

Interrupt it with a change of scenery,

I call these mini ones,

Interrupt it with a state shifter,

And commit yourself to best me.

So first takeaway,

Beware of busy me.

Second is believe in best me.

Believe in best me.

That when you're at your best and you're not on speed,

You're your most genuine self,

Authentic.

You are your most creative self.

You're at ease,

You're open,

You're available,

You're connected.

Busy me or best me,

You get to choose.

And lastly I would say just watch your words when you meet and greet a friend or colleague.

Watch if you say oh my gosh I'm so crazy busy and watch if you dump your state on someone else.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for your messages.

I've gotten more messages in the last six weeks I think than I've gotten in two years of doing this podcast so I appreciate your connection with me,

Kara at KaraBradley.

Net.

A couple of things that I just want to drop in.

One,

I am going to be at 1440 Multiversity in Scottsdale,

California which is just south of San Francisco,

December 13th through 15th for a retreat called From Frazzled to Flow,

Making Your Optimal State Your Default State.

So join me.

I would love to meet you.

And I also have a quick online course fresh up on my website called 10 Strategies for Living in Flow.

You can find it there.

It's 10 quick days,

10 practices,

10 meditations at a really reasonable price.

So check that out at KaraBradley.

Net and as always thank you for joining me.

We will see you,

Hear you,

Connect with you next time.

Be well.

Reviews

Working on this right now. I don’t know why I force myself to be so busy since I get nothing done and am totally unfocused. No friends, no purpose, and nothing seems to go my way..just busy to mask it all.

I needed to hear this to enjoy my free time more. Relaxing is bring. Thank you.

Pleasant and helpful and uplifting😊 thank you so much😊

Thank you, Cara! This really resonated with me. 💖 🙏🏼

Great insight and perspective. Thank you! Namaste 🙏🏼🌟

Thank you. Today I will try to be my best.

Thanx, I needed to be reminded not to slip back into busy after quarantine is over. I have been enjoying not feeling obligated to do so much!

Excellent observations that I will carry into my life. Thank you!

Thank you for the reminder 🌞

I wish that I had listened to this podcast while ago. I have learned so much from it🙏

I will try to be my “best me” from now on...
Thankful Dee

This made me really stop and think about how I am going through life. It really moved me.

Great topic and great insights! Unfortunately, most jobs expect you to be busy and over scheduled. You have to carve in that breathing time for yourself and insist on it. Easier said than done!

Thanks for making it okay, even healthy, to live life at a spacious pace with time for reflection and learning. I realized awhile back how much I did not enjoy rushing and have consciously spent my time accordingly. You are right about being free. I look forward to checking out your website and offerings. Thanks so much!

I really liked this. Made me stop to consider a number of things, as well as taking a step back to truly SEE how much "busy" I do and what I could be doing (or not doing) during much of that time instead. Saving this for repeated listening. Thank you so much for sharing this with us here! I see the light in you. 🤲🏻❤️🤲🏻