Starting Fresh + Soft (or Bold + Brave) |New Year's Practice

In this episode, I break down the steps for moving into the new year exactly the way you want to. I start by offering questions to help you release the last year and move onto the idea of really allowing this year to be whatever you most need - without letting any preconceived ideas about how it 'should be' affect you. This episode is all about tapping into what you desire your year to look like and how to move towards that by creating your own vibe.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Free Will podcast. I am here today to talk to you a little bit about starting the year fresh and soft and I think the first thing to kind of bring up when we're talking about setting intentions for the new year is a little bit about whether or not we took the time to reflect on the year that has passed. So I think that reflecting on the year that has passed is really important because it gives us some closure. I think that's the best way to put it. Some closure over the things that we experienced, The things that went well, The things that you know maybe didn't go as well as we had hoped and really allowing ourselves to sit with the entirety of the experience that we had in the year that we're closing out before we move into the new year I think is really really important and I mean some of the things I think that we could reflect on is I mean even asking really simple questions like what went really well this year you know what really worked and or like last year I suppose sorry what worked last year you know where was I where did I feel aligned where did I feel most like myself and then the opposite of that too you know where did things you know kind of just get out of control where was there a little bit of chaos and where did I feel I was out of alignment or where did I allow myself to get out of alignment where did I maybe not set boundaries that I needed to set in order to really honor myself and live the way that I want to live so it's really fundamental that we start off a little bit in the past before we jump forward because if we're not tending to what is or perhaps what has been right then it's very difficult to get a clear idea of where we're going from here so reflecting on the past gives us a chance to like really close that chapter ahead of moving forward in a way that's even more connected aligned ideal you know more of what we of what we are hoping for what we want and like the episode that we're having now like talking about pardon me talking about starting the year fresh and soft it's about allowing this year to be brand new I don't know about you but last year was a ride it was many many many things there were a lot of emotions a lot of things that came up for me I ran into a lot of roadblocks some of them I put there myself some of them other people put there but in any case there was a lot that came up for me last year and it's sometimes really difficult to not carry over things that happened in the last year into the new year right it's it can be really hard and it can be really hard for a couple of reasons one from like an emotional level and then on the other hand there's also just like the from a logistical point of view so not everyone has a ton of time off around the holidays not everyone has that time to like really reflect and to kind of get themselves organized before the start of the new year like this episode is coming out in January and it's coming out in January on purpose like there's a reason for this and in part it's because in the past I've been really rigid with myself about like well I need to close out the new year the last year before the new year I need to do all of my reflecting I need to get all of my intentions set and it was it was I was very rigid about it and rigid to the point and almost like perfectionistic towards it to the point where if I didn't finish it in time quote-unquote in time which means nothing right like that's it's a self-imposed boundary it's I get that the new year is a fresh start but this is something that I've done to myself that I imposed on myself so to the point where if I was not doing it by the the new year or like just shortly thereafter the new year it was like well what's the point so I'm still working through my New Year's intentions now and like that's okay for the first time ever that's okay so like let this be a permission slip to you as well but there's a very valid reason why not just the logistical side of things where you know the holiday season was busy you know the New Year's were busy that's true and not true for me the holiday season was busy the new year a little bit less so it's more about the fact that it didn't feel right at the time like I really gave myself permission to be with everything that I was feeling I closed out the last year shortly before the new year sorry shortly after the new year and that felt really good but getting to the intention part of things like I felt like there was something else that I needed first I really needed to like sit with myself and be with myself before I could really begin to dream right and like some of that for me looks like self-care too there was a piece of self-care that was definitely missing last year in all of the kind of I would say personal and interpersonal chaos that was going on in my life and so I feel like I needed the time to really sit with myself before I was able to dream because it's easier to dream when you're in a space of feeling good now that's not to say that we're gonna wait for this mystical magical moment when everything is right and we're ready and that's not it we're not trying to put in other kind of obstacles or like you know set up roadblocks for ourselves like let it unfold the way that it unfolds for you this is the way that it unfolded for me and in order for me to let this year be brand new I really really needed to give myself this time and space to sit with myself to feel my emotions to yeah to empty out from the year that I had lived last year I had to let a lot of that go and I had to give myself time and I'm not talking about time to answer questions or even time to reflect I mean I literally needed just time to do nothing and to really allow myself to be my partner and I were really conscious this year and I'm actually really proud of us because it is not something that comes naturally perhaps to either of us but less so for him we were really conscious and we made really mindful and purposeful decisions to take the first couple weeks of the new year really slowly and that has served us immensely because our lives are so full we've got a lot of changes and a lot of plans happening for my business for his business in 2025 and I mean like and that's only for business right not personal stuff not travel not so it's just one aspect there's a lot that's coming down the line this year and so we chose to be really mindful and to give ourselves a little bit of extra space and kindness and grace to allow the new year to kind of unfold on its own and to start soft and so the idea here is like letting this year really be what it wants to be without carrying over the energy from the past and this is all it all boils down to a choice like with most things right like whenever we talk on the podcast of what we're working towards we're often talking about this idea of choosing something different so choosing to let things go choosing to do the work I suppose to let things go if like I mean letting things go is such an arbitrary term it can mean everything and absolutely nothing in my opinion so when I say let things go I mean like maybe that looks like forgiving yourself maybe it looks like just deciding and you've let it go somehow like some people can do that right I am NOT one of those people I am NOT one of those people that can just be like okay I've let this go I'm the kind of person who needs to sit there and really be with all of my mess and all of my emotions and then allow myself to talk talk it through whether that be with someone else or whether that be with myself through my journal right but I really need to get into like the understanding of it because for me and this is not true for everybody but for me there is massive power in knowing why why I felt the way I did why something happened which is obviously not always possible to know but like if I can get to a better understanding of it for me it's much much easier for me to just let it go then but I need to do that processing first I don't I am NOT wired in such a way that allows me to just be like okay let go and let God sometimes yes sometimes for simple things yes but for something bigger and last year for me was I mean one hell of an emotional roller coaster if I'm totally honest I was in the middle of a move move there was a lot of transition I wasn't really settling into my new location my partner was incredibly busy with like seven million things going on you know he had work he was still going to school at the time like there was a lot happening I had a lot of visits from friends which were amazing it was just a really full year both good and sometimes less good things within it but like I needed to sit with that right and and let it on let it unfold and let myself be with the reality of what it was so that I can release it and allow this year to really actually be a fresh start and for maybe the I mean not the first time but I feel like this year for me is a fresh start in a way that perhaps other years have not been I've really allowed myself the time I've really allowed myself the grace to to be to rest to go slowly to be soft to surrender like I've really given myself a lot of permission to deal with this in a really loving way there wasn't that pressure of do the questions do the reflecting do the forgiving do the releasing get it done check check check check check like there wasn't that energy around it it was like okay this is how it's unfolding I am showing up to the process and I am allowing the process to be what it is I'm allowing myself to feel what I feel about the process about what happened last year about what I want this coming year and just really being being in that energy and so the next kind of step right we're trying to if I'm to recap we start with releasing we work on forgiving we work on kind of allowing the last year to close out to be what it was we are allowing ourselves to be brand new we are allowing this year to be brand new we are allowing ourselves to release what happened to forgive to let go to create this idea of a fresh start and then the next step I would say is to really allow yourself to move at your own pace so without the pressure of you know being strong okay so I want to preface this by saying that like you need to make this year whatever it needs to be for you okay but there is this inherent idea or narrative around the new year about like start the new year strong and like there is nothing wrong with that unless it isn't what you actually want like sometimes a collective narrative and this idea that we kind of buy into of how we need to approach the new year can be more damaging than we had imagined which is kind of what I described to when I was talking about the way that I had typically been approaching the new year where it's like well you know screw it if I haven't done the intentions by January 1st like there's just no point like I was being really I was being really ridiculous about it honestly and so it's like really this idea of not being in a rush not forcing not striving just being and not needing to start the year strong not needing to you know go all in with our resolutions and my opinion on resolutions is available on YouTube and it's also I think a podcast episode like I don't believe in resolutions like that's not a thing because I think that resolutions inherently make us wrong and that's why we tend to not actually follow through on them like there's nothing wrong with us there's something inherently wrong with the process that we're buying into and that's something that I think that we need to keep in mind but this idea of moving strongly moving boldly forward into the new year you know go go go go after your dreams this is the year you've got it there's nothing wrong with that unless it's not aligned right because the idea kind of becomes what are we in a rush towards anyways like what is the actual end goal when all of this is a journey right so we can start the year strong but to what end we can start the year soft but to what end it doesn't matter what the adjective is right that we're using we need to kind of assess the why we are doing that in the first place and above all we need to make sure that the reason why we're doing it is actually ours so going back to this idea that just because the collective story is to start the year strong usually right like that's kind of what we're sold in marketing you know when we're talking about intention setting a lot of people are talking about you know make this your biggest year ever like go after your dreams go after your goals and there's nothing wrong with that and I'm very pro all of those things when it feels right for you but it doesn't need to be in this kind of frenetic and super kind of stressed or intense I suppose energy it doesn't need to be this kind of like oh let's go okay and my last question too would be kind of like can you allow yourself to be soft and soft is I think an underrated word and this comes from I really want to be clear that this like verbiage and the language that I'm using is something that I have taken on board but it is something that comes from Emmy from the Daily Rest just credit where credit is due she talks a lot about starting the year soft and and I wanted to kind of elaborate on it in my own way and with my own energy but I feel like is it possible for you like soft for me means is it possible for you to welcome a new year with an open mind and an open heart and if we are talking about an open mind and an open heart it inherently means that we are not carrying the heaviness we are not carrying forward the stories the pain the you know the the trials and tribulations of the year before so if we are starting the year soft there's a part of that that for me also includes like you know kind of slowing down but it also encompasses this kind of openness and acceptance of what is without forcing this particular moment to be anything other than the way that it is in the present moment right the way that it is showing up so can you allow yourself to be all of who you are without wishing that you were someone else somewhere else you know doing something else without these like gigantic aspirations that can often put pressure on us to move in a way that isn't necessarily aligned or isn't necessarily authentic and again all of this always every single word of every single podcast episode always needs to be filtered through your own system okay I want you to take everything that I've said thus far with a grain of salt if what you really need to feel fully connected to your own to yourself this year and to your own inner fire if that's what you need and that's what you need to go to okay because being soft is beautiful having a fresh start is beautiful but so is being fierce there is no less it's not like one is better than the other that's not the topic here that's not the point that I'm trying to make it's this idea of you know not letting any podcast any coach any book tell you what you need or how to move in the world right because only you can decide that so I'm talking about being soft and fresh because for me that has been the antidote to the pressure that we that I sorry tend to put on ourself to put on myself at this time of year and that I think we tend to put on ourselves at this time around this time of year you know to kind of start so strong go so hard all in all in okay great but what if there's an alternative what if there's another way to approach our goals and dreams and the things that we're working towards what if we can meet ourselves with grace and kindness and gentleness and we can move forward mindfully consistently without it being this daily task three times per week you know I got to do this I got to do that without all of that energy what if we can still get shit done what if we can still show up in a really powerful way without it being this huge pressure cooker essentially right that's what feels most aligned for me now that's not gonna resonate with everybody and it shouldn't and nor should it because this might not be the year that you need to be soft maybe you were soft last year and now you need to be fierce and now you need to be bold and now you need to be creative courageous or brave or adventurous or you need to be an explorer you need to go out there and do all of the things and you need to set the big goals and you need to do those things maybe that's true but the call of this podcast episode and every other episode is always the same it is about you really checking in with yourself and making sure that the steps that you're taking the actions that you're taking the thoughts that you're thinking the beliefs that you're believing are actually yours that you are actively choosing each element of your life because each element goes on to create the tapestry of your life and that each of those pieces truly comes from you that it's not the collective voice that it's not the voice of your mother your family your friends it's not the voice of your co-workers your boss and it's not society it's just you right it comes from within I am moving this way because this feels right to me that is how we ultimately start the year fresh because if we start the year aligned with ourselves and what we truly want and who we truly are and how we truly want to show up in the world this is going to be a new year it's going to be a very powerful year as well because we've started off so on the right foot just by honoring ourselves okay I am going to leave that here as always I hope this episode serves you if you have any comments critiques thoughts I'd love to hear them and just thank you thank you for being here thank you for listening to the end and I just I see you and I appreciate you and I I am so grateful that we vibe and that we have found each other in a world of many many people the fact that you are here means just very very much to me and I hope that this is the start of a really beautiful and aligned year for you and if you need anything you know that you can always reach out so have an amazing start to your week and I will see you on the next episode ciao