17:02

Gratitude Is A Moving Thing/Why Gratitude Fails

by Cairistiona O’Loughlin

Rated
4.5
Type
talks
Activity
Meditation
Suitable for
Everyone
Plays
306

Cairistiona uses the ancient nature-based wisdom of Chinese Medicine to uncover and excavate aspects of gratitude that aren't common knowledge in the West. According to Cairistiona's deductions, gratitude is a moving thing that fails sometimes due to other imbalances in our lives.

GratitudeChinese MedicineNatureEmotional HealthSeasonsVictimhoodForgivenessBoundariesTraditional Chinese MedicineNature ConnectionEmotional NourishmentMartyr ComplexForgiveness And SelfBoundary Setting

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Kerish Deena Ralocklin.

I'm a Chinese face reader and meditation creator.

The advice that I'm giving to you today is directly from the principles of Chinese medicine as that is what Chinese face reading is based on.

The advice that I give in my reading is that it's heavenly nature based and nature influenced as Chinese medicine is three thousand or two thousand years worth of observations from nature.

The point of all my work is to remind people of nature and encourage them to return to it,

Whether that's the nature of their own personalities free from judgment or to nature herself.

This is why I've chosen the sounds of a river to be in the background.

Now that this introduction is out of the way,

Thank you so much for choosing this track.

I hope it will provide some insight and fresh perspective for you.

Let's begin.

Recently I started to think about what Chinese medicine says about gratitude.

Often when we hear grateful it's accompanied by should.

You should be so grateful or any image of gratefulness we have is clouded by resentment and obligation,

All having still and stifling.

The word gratitude on the other hand,

I don't think it's something that Western society introduces or teaches very well.

So for me what springs to mind is a blank space or a question mark.

I'm not that very well acquainted with it at this point.

The pattern in nature that Chinese medicine associates with gratitude is late autumn.

This is because once harvesting is over in early autumn you have to store and stock the food to last you for the winter.

If the harvest has been bountiful then you will feel grateful and blessed in what you have received.

No resentments or shoulds involved,

A lot of reception.

It's all about looking at what you have or receiving a gift and feeling blessed.

Another thing which I find interesting is that late autumn is a period of movement,

Not energetic movement per se but the slow and changing movement of leaves falling from trees.

So if we go by what Chinese medicine observes,

Gratitude is an internally moving thing not built on stasis.

And that's what blessings do,

They come and they go.

You can't be obligated to feel blessed or grateful because then it's not gratitude.

For gratitude to work you need to slow down,

Count your stock.

What you have in life I know like the burning door of autumn that it won't be there forever because gratitude is a moving thing.

But why would someone associate a new gratitude with the word should?

I have one answer that Chinese medicine and my own experience have provided me but it might not apply to everyone.

It's this.

What I believe hinders and stops the grateful mind is victimhood and a martyr complex.

Or rather the sensation that we are owed something by life or that life is being done to us.

If we feel this burn or entitlement or emptiness over feeling gratitude it could be a symptom of a much larger problem.

One where we have been overly generous for far too long,

Poorly using no,

Overusing yes and acting out of guilt to help others rather than practically assessing if we could.

It could also be that we don't feel fed or supported by life.

That too many turns of fate have delivered us a bad lot.

We aren't grateful because life has been cruel and made us feel impotent.

Powerless people are not grateful people.

The much larger problem could be that mother was unavailable to us as children.

Whether that means she had a personality disorder or was a mother who was away working.

Whatever the reason it just meant that she wasn't around to feed us emotionally and spiritually.

As adults this develops into a huge gaping hunger that we feel is owed to be filled because mother should have been around.

She should have fed us.

Or even if we turn this around to life we don't feel grateful because our life is not supporting who we are and who we are designed to be.

The deficit can be so huge and long lasting that saying a simple thank you for the sky being blue or the pleasure of your morning coffee or even your delivery parcel coming so quickly,

Whatever it is,

Thank you is a difficult thing to say when you have not felt nourished for so long.

Gratitude is the sparkly glitter of life.

If you want more I'd advise examining where you haven't been fed.

Where your basic needs are not being met and where in the past they have not been starved.

If you don't know what your needs are and how to meet them then think of what you need in your relationships and from life.

For example I know I need friendships with intelligent argumentative minded people while learning orientated minded people and if that need is not being met then I feel unfulfilled and slightly bored to be honest with you.

But if I know these people and I seek them out I,

Well this is one term for it,

It's life giving.

I have more energy,

I have more sparkle.

When you identify your needs you can begin to set up boundaries and then you can feed yourself.

Another way to move into gratitude might be forgiveness.

Forgiveness and letting go can feed and nourish our souls.

Chinese medicine associates forgiveness with eyesight.

If we are not forgiving we are not seeing.

To forgive is to see something or someone from new and fresh perspectives.

We've come to the end of our talk now.

Thank you so much for listening.

I hope this was helpful to you and I hope to see you around.

I'm going to leave you now with the sound of the river for you to digest all of this or not digest.

Thank you and goodbye.

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Meet your Teacher

Cairistiona O’LoughlinBristol City, United Kingdom

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© 2026 Cairistiona O’Loughlin. All rights reserved. All copyright in this work remains with the original creator. No part of this material may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

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