Ep4: Collaborating For Exponential Growth

Explore the benefits of co-creation and collaboration, and how to initiate a collaboration to support your personal growth in an exponential way with Barbara and Wenlin. The summit Wenlin mentions are the beginning of what then becomes the Stepping into Possibilities inner growth Summit, happening 7-8 Jan 2023.

Transcript

Welcome to BW No Filter with Barbara and Wenlin.

Hello,

It's Barbara here.

How are you,

Wenlin,

Today?

I'm feeling.

.

.

Hey everyone,

It's Wenlin.

Hey Barbara.

I'm feeling a little bit better today,

A little tired,

But yeah,

Generally feeling pretty content and excited about a couple of things that are unfolding this and next week.

How about you,

Barbara?

Well,

That sounds amazing.

I love the unfolding of things.

I also have a lot of things unfolding and I have been feeling the unfolding of things over the last couple of days and weeks and I'm feeling extremely tired,

But at the same time,

Extremely happy too,

Because I'm tired for good things that have been happening.

And I'm also happy because of how I have been responding to the way I was feeling.

Sometimes you are tired and you struggle with that,

But on the other hand,

I was able to understand why am I tired and then just move with the flow of tiredness and allow myself to go slower and recognize,

Okay,

This is going to be my pace for the day or maybe for even the week.

But the important thing I got this week is I despised all this tiredness in my body and mind.

I was able to reach all the goals I had for the month and the work and the projects and everything.

So it's been good.

It's been good.

You know what?

I was thinking a lot after one of the things we spoke about in one of the previous episodes about starting things and perhaps this tiredness I'm feeling because of all the energy I'm putting out as well as I'm starting a lot of things.

Well,

This podcast together,

And I know you agree with me in how does it feel to start things,

Start things,

Because we were really talking about starting.

And now I'm paying the price of starting and probably you are too.

But I don't know if you would agree with me or you have a different take from it.

But I feel tired,

But at the same time,

I feel so fulfilled because all this energy is like,

I don't know,

It feels tired,

But it feels comfortable.

I feel comfortable in my body and I feel comfortable with the things I'm doing.

I don't know if you can relate to the mixed feeling at the same time.

Yeah.

Thanks for sharing that.

I can understand.

And like what you already talked about so many things in just that short snippet that you shared,

Like the first thing about noticing that you're tired and then acknowledging the sense of lethargy,

But at the same time being okay with that.

I think for a long time when I was tired,

I used to have the expectation that I shouldn't be tired.

And then I would,

This would give myself a lot of like mental grief because you know,

When there's a disconnect between your expectation and reality,

And you're not able to adjust your expectation to match the reality or to accept the reality,

Then you cause unnecessary suffering onto yourself.

And I find it interesting because it's also right now I'm teaching a program on focus and flow for women change makers.

And in one of the weeks,

We're going to talk about energy management,

And this is so important,

Like noticing,

Firstly,

Being able to notice,

Acknowledge,

And hold space for how you feel and how you're managing all the things in your life firstly,

And then not being extra critical on yourself and saying that,

Oh,

I shouldn't always be 100% or even 120% all the time.

And that's the first thing.

The second thing you talked about,

This idea of tiredness with regards to starting new things and taking a lot of energy.

And I can totally relate to that.

But then at the same time,

The sense of fulfillment,

And I completely agree with you because I think when you're working on the project,

That is really your labor of love,

Or it's something that really comes from your true desire,

Not necessarily because someone else asked you to do it,

Or because you're hoping to do it to gain some kind of success or some kind of monetary gain.

Instead,

This idea of doing something simply because you feel very strongly compelled to do it,

Then naturally,

When you do it,

Even if you feel tired,

When you see that it has some kind of resonance in the world,

It gives a sense of satisfaction,

A sense of joy.

And I think this,

I guess,

This is how I feel.

And this is,

I think,

What you mean by fulfillment when you talk about being tired,

But at the same time,

You're doing something and you really want to do it.

And it's finally starting to take shape.

And also,

We know when we're starting things at the beginning,

There's so much experimentation.

And also with you and me,

Then we're coordinating.

So there's so many things that are happening at different levels.

We are getting to know each other.

We are collaborating.

We are trying to understand how each other work.

And at the same time,

We are managing our existing work schedules and all the other things,

And managing two people's energy levels as well.

I mean,

This other training course,

And it has been crazy because there are nine of us within a group,

And we're supposed to meet every one and a half to two weeks.

And so far,

We've only managed to meet once just because it's impossible to schedule,

Find a time that works for everyone.

Some people cannot do weekends.

Some people can only do weekends.

Some people cannot do some weekday nights.

And so,

Yeah,

It can be a struggle,

Especially,

I think,

If there's an added layer of collaboration to it,

I feel.

But I also wanted to speak on the fact that collaboration can be a liability,

But at the same time,

I feel it is a strength.

I've been working alone for quite a while,

Like since freelancing,

Whether it's teaching yoga,

Whether it was doing illustration.

And for the longest time,

I felt like there was something missing.

And in order to expand and really do the things I wanted to do,

At some point,

I would need to collaborate with someone.

I would need to also later on,

I mean,

Not right now,

But for anyone who wants to expand their reach to scale,

If you own a startup or some kind of business,

You have to start to think about who you might want to hire,

Whether it's a personal assistant to help you manage your schedule,

Your social media manager,

Whether if you run,

If you are a founder of a digital app or some kind of company,

You are the CEO,

You will need a chief of product,

You will need a finance officer as well,

Just because you can't do everything on your own.

And this is what I have been so excited about,

Because I feel like this year,

We met last year,

And then we started collaborating on this.

And then I've started to also separately in my own things,

Collaborate with other people,

Because I really feel that when we're together as a collective,

The potential for what can be realized,

And the feeling of this fulfillment is expanded so much more than if I just work on my own.

Another idea that I've been thinking a lot about,

Also from the incidents that unfolded yesterday that left,

Let me feel a little bit disturbed and also disillusioned,

But at the same time,

Now I'm feeling much stronger than before,

Is this idea that if I speak alone,

My voice is so limited.

But if I come together with another person who also has his,

Her,

Their reach and their influence,

Together as a collective,

We can influence and reach so many more people.

And also not just the absolute number of this person's followers or influence or mailing list and mine,

But also a separate new category that is like untapped.

And this is the idea that we are much greater than the sum of our parts.

And I find that so powerful.

And that's why this year,

My real goal is to start to bring groups of people together in my own work,

Collaborate with other people to really expand the impact and increase the potential and possibilities of all kinds of things unfolding.

Yeah.

What are your thoughts on this?

That's interesting.

Actually,

I have a question for you,

Because how do you do it or how do you plan on doing it when you are reaching out to people to collaborate in a kind of project?

Do you have some kind of selection for the people that say,

Okay,

This is going to be convenient?

Or what are your fundamental things that you want or require from the other person to collaborate?

I don't know if you're looking for a certain type of energy or they are doing a certain type of work or you need to be grounded on some specific level,

Because I don't know.

I have it like,

Yeah,

Now we are collaborating.

I like collaborating.

I have collaborated in my other works.

Not the one I'm doing now.

I'm doing art and I do it on my own.

I cannot delegate my work to somebody else to be done,

Because I do it.

I like to do it myself.

But the collaboration that you are talking,

It's another level.

It's more reaching out and expanding,

Perhaps sharing of ideas or some other kind of thing.

So I'm very curious to know how you filter,

If that's the right word,

The kind of people that you want to reach out.

And I'm asking you specifically because a lot of people get together and they get frustrated because they probably weren't in the right match or they didn't have the same values or whatever.

So I'm very curious on that.

Great question.

And I have been thinking the same as well,

Because actually already last year,

I've been wanting to collaborate with people,

But I didn't find the right people to collaborate with.

We were not at the same level.

Or for example,

As you mentioned,

Values were not aligned.

Like for me,

It's all about impact and also working with other people has to have a good kind of energy and it has to be this level of give and take.

And it may be blunt sounding,

But I don't like energy wasters.

And I feel like some people are energy wasters.

I value my time and my energy very much.

And I also value the time and energy of other people as well.

So if I have a clear idea for a project,

What happens is usually I perhaps have some kind of person in mind.

And then within my social circle,

I might already have a few candidates in mind for a specific project.

And I'll be very specific so that our listeners here will be able to find references in their own life.

So I am within a group of,

Let's say mentors or teachers that teach for this specific meditation app or this yoga platform.

And there are lots of teachers that teach within that platform,

Like more than I think there must be a few hundred,

But I didn't have to reach out to all of them because it just happened that I had applied for and was able to be selected to teach special workshops.

So within that group of teachers,

Then we were filtered down to only about 40 plus 50 teachers who all I would guess,

Because the app has already pre-selected us,

Right?

A lot of people apply to teach workshops,

But not everyone gets approved.

So we were the few,

Let's say select ones who had been approved to be the pioneers to teach the workshops.

And me thinking that,

Okay,

I thought this year I would really love to do something special for World Meditation Day and World Yoga Day,

Because I feel as a collective,

There's so much more we can offer our listeners,

Our viewers,

The practitioners.

It's like so much richer than if it's just myself,

I can't teach a full day or weekend festival.

That would kill me.

I need the help of other people.

And so I suggested in this group to collaborate.

I said,

Would any of you be interested to come together?

And also,

Of course,

To be honest in the group,

There are so many more people who are more experienced than me.

Some of them have PhDs behind their name and they have three or four,

Even 10 times the number of followers,

But it doesn't matter about,

For example,

Who you're reaching out to.

I think also there might be this fear,

Inherent fear of like,

Oh,

Is it possible?

Do I only reach out to people at my level?

I think if you have a unique idea to offer,

A unique proposition,

That is a win-win situation,

And you can show how you're contributing or how you're giving a new idea or new take on something,

Then you can definitely ask.

And if there's a possibility,

If people resonate with that,

Then they will respond.

So what happened is I asked in the group and surprisingly,

I didn't expect the response to be so overwhelming,

But many of the teachers responded in a very positive way.

And I thought I would have to be pushing the project,

But I was so delighted to find that within the group,

There were so many people who were so proactive.

And there's this other mentor or teacher who already created an Excel spreadsheet before I did and already created the timings,

Already created some kind of system.

And then it was just very easy back and forth.

This is what I mean by not spending time with energy wasters.

Like if you have a clear idea,

You project it and you share it with the people that you think might respond positively and you see how they respond.

If they're also very proactive,

Then that's a great sign.

That's a great sign of a beginning because then we can continue to work with this idea of to and fro,

Back and forth.

I give,

I take,

I give and I take.

So that's going very,

Very well now.

And I mean,

There's still lots of projects that I hope to work on,

But this is just one example.

And then the other example is of course,

Between you and me,

We've been very collaborative.

You have suggested ideas and I've also suggested mine and we are both.

The other thing that's really important for me is as you mentioned,

The same values.

We are both,

For example,

In our situation,

Very fairly open-minded.

We are both quite open to experimentation.

At the same time,

What I enjoy is there's this idea of synergy because also for our listeners tuning in,

Probably if you want to collaborate with someone,

A good idea is to think what skill sets do you have that might be your strength,

But at the same time,

What skill sets are you missing that you might want someone else to support you,

To compliment you.

And this goes back to the idea of yin yang and why we have this good collaboration.

We are BW,

No filter,

Black and then white,

You and me.

You're more introverted,

I'm more extroverted.

You're really great and enjoy this idea of being in the process,

Content creation.

I love being live.

I love engaging with audience,

So on and so forth.

So I find that as a wonderful synergy.

And then going back to the example of the festival that I'm teaching or planning,

Let's say,

With all these other teachers,

Like 40 or so teachers,

It was not easy to arrange a time slot that works for everyone.

And we're still in the discussion of it.

Hopefully,

We still have to get approval of the app,

Which should be fine.

But only with all of these teachers,

We provide such a rich lineup that would be very,

Very helpful.

And also my dream is to be able to offer this at a very,

Very low cost to lots of people so that we can reach so many people and they can benefit.

If each of us only does our own program,

Not only would we have to charge a very high rate,

And then also we would be competing against each other for the same space,

Then we all don't achieve what we want.

So in every single situation,

The reason why I look for collaboration is I want to find a possible scenario where it can be a win-win-win,

Win for me,

Win for you,

Win for the third party that we're collaborating with.

Yeah,

It's a little bit long,

My blah,

Blah,

Blah.

That brought a lot of new points to the table.

I really like,

Specifically in his last part,

That just by collaborating,

Not only,

I mean,

It's like everything goes exponential.

The reach,

The gain,

The growth.

I mean,

And everybody is really,

Everybody's winning because everybody can get a taste of all of you that otherwise maybe going one-on-one would be unreachable for many.

And also you are competing.

So it's this idea of instead of compete or being against,

Go and move forward together.

That has always been in my previous work,

My goal.

I like to go and try to be united,

But it's not always easy.

And many times you just have to risk and be willing to lose something because if you don't try,

You don't know.

But that can bring about very great outcomes.

I mean,

And it could be very positive for everyone.

So you gave really great points out there.

But one thing that also was,

I loved it because this is something I also go about that you have to put your idea out.

I mean,

You have to go and share.

And as you said,

Well,

Someone was already working on the Excel sheet and everything and going one step ahead of you because the other person was already ready and you didn't know it.

And you would never have known it unless you put your idea out there and share with,

In this case,

It's your community,

Very specific niche community.

But it doesn't matter who you are,

What you do.

I guess you first have to elaborate your idea good enough because I believe that this resonated with all these people because your idea was well processed and well put together in your head first.

So then when you put it out there,

Those who were in sync with that were ready to step up and say,

Yes,

Me,

I'm already working on that.

So you just put your energies together.

And I guess that's a great hint for anyone who is because so many people I hear and I even catch myself many times saying,

Oh,

Well,

This is not happening.

And then I reflect,

I mean,

I catch myself immediately because I'm too much,

I have too much time on my hands to watch my thoughts.

But it's like I'm saying this is not happening,

But what have I done to make it happen?

Have I taken it from two idea to a paper,

To a first step,

To a second step,

And then put it out there and see if it resonated with somebody because in the end is that.

So until I have my idea made already tangible,

Even if you cannot touch it,

But easy enough for another person to comprehend so you can share it.

And then maybe they will be on board.

It was something happened with us.

Like my idea was very simple.

Oh,

Look,

I was doing something similar two years ago,

Actually,

Was sharing content and doing things during the pandemic that helped me survive the lockdowns and be entertained and connect with a lot of people and do a lot of stuff was also a personal project.

And then I took a step aside,

And then I was feeling this urge to start doing it again.

And then I met you.

And then as I connected with you and I said,

Well,

Maybe we are,

You know,

We shared this and this thing.

And then I popped the idea.

It was a very simple concept.

And you were already on board.

And in our second talk,

You already have like a developed plan and,

You know,

All these big things.

But I had to put the seed and you were already sprouting.

And that was fascinating.

And I can list so many other examples that goes this way.

But I think it's really important for people to understand,

You know,

Know your idea very well.

And then when you meet someone,

Or maybe,

You know,

Just start talking about it.

Because in the end,

I heard someone said,

You know,

Like life is a game of numbers.

In the end,

You have to put the things out there,

Share it,

Say it,

And of course,

Try to be in alignment with the person or try to surround yourself with people who are in alignment to with where you want to go,

Right?

Because if you put your idea in the wrong soil,

It probably won't grow,

You know,

Like trying to put a seed on the stone,

Probably it won't be able to grow.

So just being aware of where you're putting your ideas,

That's that's very important.

But don't be afraid when you find like this fertile soil,

Just put the idea there.

And I'm pretty sure that something will grow.

I mean,

You see things growing everywhere.

And I'm always wondering,

I'm always in nature and I'm seeing like,

How this tree grew up?

Well,

Some someone,

Meaning maybe a bird has an excuse my word has shit on there and then it grew and then you see this amazing tree that you say,

How is it standing there,

You know,

Maybe hanging out of a ridiculous place and it just grew because someone put this seed there and it was fertile and you didn't know it.

Maybe if you are,

You know,

Your logic mind,

Deciding where to put it and then you will discard that place because on the surface,

It may not look right.

So,

You know,

It's like,

It's a little bit,

Just try it,

Try to be in alignment with where you want to go,

Because that's important.

And then just seeding out,

Seeding out your plans.

Yeah,

Yeah,

That resonates with me on many,

Many,

Many levels.

I just speak to speak on this idea of having how important it is for the idea to be at least pretty clear to you before communicating to others.

I was actually approached,

I think last month by someone who was on my mailing list to actually collaborate with her because she wants to support some women who are in their forties,

Who are,

You know,

Hoping to get some guidance on like life direction.

And I was like,

Yeah,

Sure.

Tell me more about it.

But then during the call,

When we had a call,

It seemed very clear that she seemed very lost herself and wasn't sure how this idea would unfold.

And then,

I mean,

I wanted to help her and I wanted to be on board,

But I cannot be on board for a project for which I have no idea what is happening,

You know,

What direction,

You know,

How we collaborate.

And like,

And then she kept saying that she would like to,

For it to be a common project,

You know,

For us to both share ideas,

But I'm like,

I don't know anything about your idea.

You know,

What do you mean?

What would you have in mind?

I have no connection specifically with,

I don't specialize in supporting women who are in their forties,

Who,

You know,

I don't have a clear life direction and need support.

And even though I have all the tools that might help them,

I have no strong calling,

Neither do I have much experience with these groups.

And therefore,

I told her honestly,

And I,

Even though I would love to be of support of her,

Maybe she could reconsider like,

And refine her idea a little bit clearer so that at least for herself,

She knows,

Okay,

What is it I really want to embark on?

And I find it really helpful also,

Like you said,

How did we get started on this project?

It was a simple idea.

You said,

Shall we do something together?

You know,

The initial idea was just to record our conversations and then it becomes a podcast.

There's no learning objective.

There's no structure,

There's no program,

There's no specific outcome.

This is for the pure joy of it.

And then we've been having these conversations for ages already.

It's simply a matter of like having the recording.

That's it.

Yeah.

So it was,

It was simple.

And the same with what I was proposing to this group of teachers,

The idea is simple.

There's one day,

Okay,

Actually two days,

Like world meditation day and then world yoga day.

So two days,

You can choose one or both days.

We collaborate on that day and that's it.

And that's it.

So like a one-off collaboration or like a small idea,

I think it's the best way to test and see if this would be a good relationship.

And then always,

You know,

Later on,

It makes sense.

We can repeat,

We can prolong this collaboration or this partnership.

But I think another thing is also to not jump in already with an idea that is not well-formed at least to yourself.

Like,

Can you,

I think the most important thing is,

Can you explain to yourself what it is you are trying to ask someone to collaborate with you on?

And then the other thing is that,

Is it a very big commitment?

You know,

Do the people know you well enough already to trust that you can be someone to collaborate with?

And also do you know them well enough such that you want to invest this time and this effort into this long-term partnership?

Or is it more of like a small thing?

If it's a small thing,

Then that's great.

Go and experiment and go and try.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

You never know what can come out,

But the thing that I find interesting from what you just said is that you said no,

You know,

You didn't resonate and you said no,

Although there was the ability of,

You know,

Something great is probably there,

But,

You know,

The other person had an incapacity to really explain what she had in mind,

If she really had something clear in mind.

And,

But it puts you off just because the idea in a way was presented,

Wasn't clear enough.

So how,

How important is,

You know,

You know,

I'm very fascinated about clarity and,

And having,

You know,

Your ideas.

I mean,

I don't know,

I don't need to know everything,

But I just need to know a few things that are clear and they are focused and not having clarity,

Not only put off other people,

It just put off yourself because it's simple.

I mean,

When I have an idea,

But I'm not clear what,

What it is or what,

What exactly is,

I don't know.

I mean,

Yeah,

I have,

I have several ideas that are on that stage.

Like I feel very something,

But I don't have the clarity yet.

So I cannot take action because I know it's going to be like wasting my time.

You very well said it,

Like wasting your energy.

And imagine if you are not willing to waste that time on yourself,

On your own ideas,

Why would you do it with someone else's ideas?

You know?

So,

But,

But having to say no,

Whether it is to a collaboration with another person or one of your own ideas,

Like sometimes you saying no is the best thing you can,

You can do,

Or you really have to do to,

To preserve your own energy,

But also to,

To just,

You know,

Be selective.

What are you doing?

What are you doing with your limited time and energy?

Yeah.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's a great one.

And also it's just this idea of like,

It's not an absolute no forever.

It's just,

I often like to think that I have a bag of ideas or things that I'm waiting to take action on,

But maybe just not right now.

And like,

And there's so many things I'm waiting to do,

But I didn't find the right moment yet or the right person to collaborate with.

And there's no urgency,

Right?

Because when the right situation arrives,

I will know it,

Or at least I feel I know it.

And I have this deep connection when I meet the right person,

This,

For this opportunity,

Or I see the right situation to share this piece of work,

Then I will know it.

And for now I'm fine.

And I'm patient to allow this to sit and I can work on these,

All these other things that,

You know,

Are more urgent or more pressing or have,

You know,

Arrived at the right moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

I'm also,

I mean,

No,

I think we are needing to,

To ramp it up,

But,

But just this flow of ideas keep coming and coming.

And I just wanted to put the last bit out there.

It was like,

You know,

The more you are going around with the things that you want to do,

The less you are doing in one thing.

So you're like spreading yourself too thin.

So just focusing on a very few and a very crucial things that are adding to you today and tomorrow.

And I think that's the exponential growth.

And once you have one thing running,

Then you can bring in the next idea.

That's how,

At least how I like to juggle it.

I mean,

If I have to pay attention to all the ideas that I have,

Like I'm dead already because it's like overwhelming.

So I try to say,

Okay,

I'm trying to get on board with these and then trying to shape it and gain more and more clarity.

And then once the thing is rolling on its own,

Then I can bring in a new idea and so on and so forth.

So yeah,

I will end my thoughts now so we can,

We can finish this amazing conversation for today.

Yeah.

That sounds great.

What a great note to end off as well.

Like just the idea that we can continue working on each of these ideas.

It's just this idea of almost like serial monotasking you want to pass on one thing right after the other.

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've heard the one of I'd like to call him my mentor because I have taken some of his programs and coaching.

I don't know if you know him,

But he said you can do everything,

But just not all at once.

So you can literally do everything you want,

But just not all at once.

So just go in with this.

And one last thing I want to ask you,

If some people are interested in your yoga festival programs and things that you had been talking about,

Where can they reach out to you?

Because I think it's very cool.

Well,

They can,

They can find me on,

On Instagram or Facebook flow with Wenling.

I also teach,

Well,

I'm not advertising through this,

But I also happen,

The app that I actually teach for is inside timer.

So I'm hopefully,

Hopefully the festival is going to be happening on inside timer.

We're going to propose it to them in a couple of weeks and then let's see if they go ahead with that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Great.

That's a beautiful that to happen.

And thank you.

Thank you everyone for listening.

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