Why It's Okay To Have Judgements

Judgements are natural. They spontaneously rise up in us. They are one of the many experiences of life. We don't need to feel badly about them. They show up and then they're gone. Like a burp. They are part of the natural flow of life.

Transcript

Hi, It's Brooks, And it's good to be here with you. Today we're gonna talk about judgments. Judgment is really a strong feeling that we have about somebody else or ourselves. Really strong opinion. And it can be negative or positive. It tends to be negative. It's an assessment we have that isn't based on facts, Usually. It's a really strong feeling like this is, Like this person is, Mm, You know, Or I'm mm, You know. Whatever that, Fill in the blank of that strong feeling, Usually negative, Is. It's a judgment. And often we're told like judgments aren't good. Don't have judgments. Especially if you wanna be spiritual. Don't have judgments, You know. Spiritual people don't have judgments. Which in itself is a judgment, Right? It's like, Oh, I feel bad that I had this judgment and I feel bad that I had this judgment, You know. I shouldn't have had this, Shouldn't have had that judgment. I'm so judgmental. I wanna be more spiritual than I wanna be judgmental, You know. Then I'll be okay. But is that true? Sometimes we hear something and we assume like, Oh yeah, It's the truth, Cause somebody said it. Or a number of people have said it, So it must be true. But it's worth looking within ourselves to see like, Is that really the case? Are judgments a bad thing? Or maybe they're okay. So let's look at a judgment. I mean, We all have had judgments, You know. We know what they are when they're there, When we experience them. So when we look at our experience of having a judgment, It rises up spontaneously in us. Suddenly there it is. It's like, Ugh, A person is like, Mm, You know. Just whatever words go along with that strong feeling. But it rose up spontaneously. We didn't say, I'm gonna have a judgment about that person and this is what it's gonna be. It's like a burp, You know. A burp, A fart, You know. They just, They happen, Right? Just, There they are. Can feel guilty about those things, Right? About a judgment, Oh my God, We can't have those, You know. But they rise up spontaneously. So something that suddenly appears and then we're aware of it, Maybe that's a natural occurrence. No? Because judgments are tend to be, They can be uncomfortable sometimes. Why would we give ourself that experience? If we could not do something that's uncomfortable, We would not do it. Like, We don't hit our finger with a hammer because it hurts. So, Judgments, Suddenly there they are. There they are. And I think the thing worth taking an even deeper look at, Look at is, We have the judgment about somebody. It's like that person, Like, Oh, They're like, Mm, You know. And then following that is the feeling of, Oh, I shouldn't have thought that. I'm so bad for thinking that about that person. Oh, There's something wrong with me. I shouldn't have done that. I know better. Which is just like ricochet judgments. They're like more judgments, You know. But they're usually harsher than the original judgment. You know, A feeling just shows up. That person is, Ugh, You know, I'm, Ugh, You know. If nothing follows that, Then it's gone. But that feeling of, Oh, I shouldn't have thought that, Ugh. You know, Those ricochet judgments are harsher. They're hard on us. The human mind has a capacity to think and feel a tremendous amount of thoughts and emotions, Innumerable amounts of feelings and thoughts and emotions. The human mind is not built just to think of nice things. No, It just, It doesn't work that way. There's the full range of emotions. That's the human experience. Anger, You know, That's a natural occurring experience. The same with judgments, Like we were talking about before. So perhaps judgments are just another thought, Just another experience. And perhaps being spiritual is being aware, Is being noticing. And perhaps being aware of the experience is being aware, Is being noticing. Whatever experience that we have, Whether it's a thought or a feeling or a physical sensation or something we see through our eyes or hear, Taste, Touch, Spell, It's an experience. And afterwards we can label it like, Oh, That's good or that's bad or whatever. But perhaps it comes back to we're experiencing machines. Maybe being spiritual is to recognize that that's what we are. We experience the vast array of life. Sometimes we experience being well, Sometimes we experience being sick, Sometimes we experience judgments, Sometimes we experience love, Sometimes we experience wonder, Sometimes we experience anger. And sometimes we tell ourselves, I shouldn't have thought that. Why would I think that? And we're aware of that. So maybe everybody has a different nature, A different way of reacting to things. There's not really one way of being. If you're spiritual, You're this way. Because I saw someone give a talk once and they seemed so even and they didn't get upset or they weren't judgmental or maybe they said judgment was bad and so they're spiritual so I need to listen to them. But the peace of mind really comes back to coming back to ourselves and being curious about our lives and our experiences. Because that's all we have is our experience of whatever we're thinking, Whatever we're feeling, Whatever we're sensing. And there's a gentleness in noticing ourselves and accepting what happened in the moment. Oh I had that judgmental thought. Oh okay, That's interesting. The less rules that we can have about how I should be, Or this is how a spiritual person should be. I emphasize the spiritual aspect because this is Insight Timer and there's a spiritual component to the meditations or the talks on Insight Timer. And spirituality is a strong focus with Insight Timer. And I think that's a good thing. Spirituality is quite a wonderful thing. And this is a way of looking at your whole person, Who you are, As you are. Regardless of how you think you should be or not be or how other people say you should be or not be. Being curious about the experience of you. There can be compassion in that, You know. In the looking. In the curious looking. You know that curiosity is like a really big part. There's a peacefulness in curiosity. There's an openness. Like I'm curious. Who am I? I'm curious of my nature. I'm curious about the things I think about or things I feel, Experiences I have. Without trying to censor yourself or restrict. Or think you should be otherwise. And those things may happen and there can be a curiosity about those things. And there's a healing that happens when we do that. When we're gentle with ourselves in that way. And that noticing and experiencing. So, Thank you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for spending this time. And I wish you the best. Take care.

Reviews

Excellent talk

Great talk...so true how we feel guilty for judgments that arise, yet we all have them. Refreshing. Ty

Refreshing to listen to an Honest, Real, Soul