This Is How Long It Takes (You’re Not Doing It Wrong)

A grounding meditation that gently interrupts the pressure to rush, produce, and move on to the next thing. Through a compassionate lens, this practice invites you to notice impatience, unhook from urgency, and reconnect with your body’s natural rhythm. It offers a steady reminder that your pace is not a problem, this moment is unfolding exactly as it needs to.

Transcript

Hi, My name is Brooke James. I am a marriage and family therapist. Welcome. Hey, You're not doing it wrong. You're not doing it wrong. Okay, You almost didn't press play because you didn't have time. Part of your brain is already thinking, What's next? The impatience is already settling in. It's right on time, Right? Just as soon as you decide to do something, Your brain starts working towards something else. Your brain starts thinking about, How long is this going to take? Do I need to do something more here? There isn't room for us to settle because there are these messages that give pressure to the moment that say, Gotta go faster, Gotta do more. I'm here to tell you, This is as long as it takes. You're not doing it wrong. The impatience we have with ourselves here is a cultural concept. It doesn't have to be this way. Notice the push to go somewhere else, For your mind to start thinking of something else, The sense that you should be doing more, Moving faster, Getting on to the next thing. Even this, The stillness, It feels like something you have to get through. We got to do it. We got to be able to check it off the box. I think this might be pushing you to something older, A book. If it takes long, You might be doing something wrong. That speed is proof that you're on track. That speed is proof that you're doing it right. I think this belief is old and no longer serving you. This is as long as it takes. We've been taught to optimize, Produce, Perform. Speed became just this proxy of worth. And of course, Our nervous system has learned to follow along. It has learned to rush. Our reframe is that sometimes things take a while. The line, The healing, The growth, The grief, The ordinary Tuesday, The drive to an appointment, The amount of time spent at an appointment. This is how long it takes. Let's reteach our nervous system that it's okay for it to take this long. Our nervous system can be reminded we don't have to be rushed. We don't have to prove that we are worthy. Our speed is not the proof that we are on track. It's not taking too long. It's taking as long as it needs to take. You are right where you're supposed to be. This is how long it takes. You're not doing it wrong. For a moment, I want you to come back to why you started this in the first place. Would you be willing to be patient with yourself here? Would you be able to put your hand on your chest and feel the inhale and the exhale? Your body knows the exact amount of air to take in. The exact amount to exhale. Your body's right on time. This is how long it takes. You're not doing it wrong. Would you be willing to offer patience to yourself exactly where you are? Because you are never behind, And you are not behind today. Be well. We'll see you next time.