A Kinder Worldview - Dissecting the Wisdom

In this week’s freeform, Jeffrey and Mark posit that accepting change is difficult for many given our predisposition to cling to the familiar and comfortable. We’ve all heard that change in the world begins by changing oneself whereby kindness to self manifests in kindness to others. It seems our planet is being called to act more from the heart, more from love, and less from the mind. If we could only take a breath, relax, and let Source lead the way, what a beautiful dance life would be.

Transcript

And welcome back to another edition of Dissecting the Wisdom of Shaltazar with my good friend and collaborator Mark Lane.

Welcome back,

Mark.

Hi,

Jeffrey.

Good to be here.

Yeah,

It is indeed.

These are interesting times that we're living in,

Aren't they?

They are,

Aren't they?

Wow.

Yeah,

Fascinating,

Fascinating.

Lots of stuff happening,

And if you pick up the weather forecast,

You'll notice some similarities in what's happening,

I think,

To us individually.

The wildfires in California,

And we're getting into hurricane season,

And so it's going to be an interesting ride,

Not only for the environment,

But for all of us.

Wouldn't you agree?

I do agree.

It seems like there's some interesting energy poised on the horizon that's on its way here,

And I'm curious to see what shape it will take.

Right,

Right.

And I guess part of the purpose of these episodes is to help people get prepared for that personal storm that I think is going to be occurring for a lot of people,

And offer our guidance,

Assistance,

Wisdom,

And love to as many people as possible,

Because I don't think the rough ride is over yet.

Right,

Yeah,

I agree.

I think that it's almost like,

And this was kind of the topic I wanted to talk about today,

Was sort of this idea of surrender and allowing vis-à-vis clinging to the familiar,

Which I guess would be the opposite of surrender.

And it's almost like the energy of the universe is trying to pry our old,

Outdated version of reality from our claws,

And get us to let it go,

And then present us with something new and different.

Just the image of a small child clinging to a blanket or a toy that's been worn out and dirty and threadbare,

And the parents are trying to take that security blanket away or that safety object away to let the child grow beyond having to need that.

And that's kind of,

I guess,

How I feel.

No,

I love that image because it reminds me of,

I can't remember if it was my kids or maybe some of my nephews,

But they clung to that blankie,

And you would joke that they would have that blankie walking down the aisle with them when they got married.

And so I think you're right,

I think that image is a really good one to help us understand what we're clinging to.

We are trying to cling to that safety.

We're trying to cling to that which is known.

I know one of the big issues that I notice people are having difficulty with is becoming more comfortable with the unknown.

And one of the messages of Shaltazar a while ago really helped me shift,

And I am much,

Much better at not trying to predict what's going to happen and being a little bit more comfortable with the future not being known.

But that clinging to that security blanket is really,

I think,

Our safety net because we need to get it right.

And in a recent message from Shaltazar that will be coming out,

They talk a lot about right and wrong.

There is no right or wrong,

There just is.

And I think that control that we have or that we are trying to exert is because we need to be right.

And I don't think we can.

I think we're in uncharted territory.

We need to be okay with being right some of the time and being wrong some of the time.

And in that beautiful Rudyard Kipling poem,

There's a line that says,

If you can treat triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.

And I think that's what we really want to sort of move a bit more towards is feeling okay with things that didn't work out,

Our wrongs,

So to speak,

And feeling okay with the things that do work out,

Our rights.

I think that that will help us not feel as attached to that security blanket of the norm or being right.

Any comments on that?

Yeah,

Well,

I guess I almost feel like what we're being taught is that it's all right.

You know,

That if we are truly able to trust in the universe or in source and know that our best interests are being managed for us,

Then it allows us to stop qualifying the things that come into our lives as good or bad or right or wrong or positive or negative and just say,

Okay,

Yeah,

It's spinach,

But there must be some reason,

You know,

My mom's feeding it to me,

You know,

It must have something,

There must be something about it that I need and that's going to help me.

So now I'll eat the spinach and might not taste super pleasant,

You know,

Or whatever,

But let's just trust it and see where it takes us,

Right?

Yeah,

For me,

You know,

A big game changer,

A big belief shift that has helped me is I always try to look at the learning and growth in any situation I have.

I try to take away the judgment,

You know,

Was this bad,

Was it good,

Was it right,

Was it wrong?

It's what did I learn from that?

And that has really,

Really helped me,

You know,

Be open and continue to grow.

So I encourage listeners as we're going through this rocky time to really always ask yourself the question when you're going through something that's uncomfortable or unpleasant and what did I learn from this?

What was the learning?

What was the lesson?

Because I really believe that it's these lessons that are going to be the building blocks for the new world order that we're creating,

Whether we know it or not.

Right,

Right.

And I think that you have to get there,

To get to that point where you can find the learning is letting,

Is becoming more dispassionate about the event.

I almost feel like people tend to hold on to the negative emotion,

You know,

The anger,

The frustration or the hurt or whatever is surrounding the situation to the point where the negative emotion blinds them to the learning.

And so,

You know,

Like Sheltezar says,

You know,

Be still,

Be more still,

Be still again.

You have to shut off that racket in the background in order to calm your mind and calm your being enough to witness the learning and to go,

Oh,

Yeah,

Okay,

I see why that happened.

That makes sense to me now.

But you can't get there if you're raging,

Right?

I agree.

I agree 100%.

And one thing that's been helpful for me is trying to mitigate or lessen my self judgment.

I was very,

Very much a self judging person.

And I guess it was a learned behavior.

No,

I know it was a learned behavior,

Because in my younger years,

And,

You know,

My parents did,

I guess what I did to my kids as well,

Which is teach them that that judgment of right and wrong and good and bad.

And so I grew up constantly judging myself.

And it's only recently that I've looked at some of the things that I used to do that I would get mad at myself about and let go of the judgment of whether that was right or wrong.

And what's really fascinating is a,

You know,

A side benefit of that is that I'm not nearly as judgmental of my wife and my kids and the people I meet,

Because I realize that they're just going through their learning and growth.

So I don't know about you,

What's your experience with self judgment?

I'm still learning about that.

I was a big self judger,

I would judge and criticize and punish myself,

Trying to beat the others,

Other people to the punch,

You know,

Before they could say it.

And so yeah,

That's been a big piece of my journey too.

And it does take a certain consciousness and a certain patience to stop yourself from,

You know,

Criticizing yourself or jumping down your own throat and go,

Okay,

You know,

I did learn something from this,

I won't do it that way next time.

And sometimes it's as simple as that,

You know,

This way didn't work.

So let's try a different path and realize that,

You know,

That I can't expect perfection for myself.

I'm not perfect.

I'm learning and growing and changing and evolving.

And by definition of our very presence on this planet,

Which is a big school,

We wouldn't be here if we had it all together,

Right?

You know,

It's interesting as you're talking,

First of all,

The phrase that the judge and jury in your mind came up.

And that was a phrase I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz,

I believe in the four agreements and the mind being the judge and jury.

And sometimes it felt that way.

And I often felt I never had a defense attorney in my mind.

I only had the prosecutor,

The judge and the jury.

And so I would always lose those cases.

But as we can move to release self judgment,

What's coming to me is that that might be the way to a kinder,

Gentler world,

Because there's that old saying as within,

So without.

So as we are judgmental towards ourselves,

Maybe that's where the discrimination and the racism and all of that comes from,

Because that's just an outward expression of that self judgment.

It just becomes judgment to others.

So if we could create a pill,

You and I,

Or a magic wand and help everybody let go of self judgment,

We might be on our way to creating this new world order that Shaltazar says is possible,

Which is kinder,

Gentler,

And more harmonious.

Yeah,

Yeah,

That's interesting.

That same phrase popped into my head also,

You know,

As within,

So without.

And yeah,

If we are hypercritical of ourselves,

We're obviously going to broadcast that out into the world and be hypercritical of others,

And then cause others to be hypercritical of others and us.

Right?

So it's just a vicious circle of kind of a finger pointing that doesn't really lead anywhere.

Probably closer to our destruction than anything.

Yeah,

Right.

Mark,

In the past,

You've shared with me that you're shifting,

You know,

You were working what you referred to as the fixer archetype.

You were always trying to fix people in your family and fix people around you.

And as you have shifted to become maybe less self judgmental,

More self loving,

More kind and considerate to yourself,

You are letting go of your fixer archetype and becoming more of an empowering and loving archetype.

Tell us a bit about that journey and how does that happen for you?

That's a good question.

I don't know that I really understand or know how it happened,

But it seems to work.

So I noticed that especially the family,

Family is kind of like the crucible of all of this,

Right?

Because they're the closest people to you and,

You know,

They can't really get rid of you and you can't really get rid of them.

So you feel a little bit more emboldened,

I think,

To say things to family members that you might not say to a stranger or somebody at work or a boss or a coworker.

You know,

And I just noticed that,

You know,

I'm excited about the things that we talk about and the things that we're working on and the things that we're doing from a spiritual standpoint.

And I'm really starting to understand the power behind them and how the mind and the spirit kind of work together and sometimes there are odds and all those different things that we kind of touch on in these podcasts.

And so my oldest self wanted to,

You know,

When I noticed someone in my family struggling with something and I know that there's an answer to that,

I could give them the answer.

My initial instinct was to shove it down their throat because this is going to help you take this pill.

You're going to be better.

And then nobody ever appreciated it.

And all it would do is make situations worse and get everybody angry with me and cause tears and cause shouting and things like that.

And so,

I mean,

I knew it wasn't working and I didn't really have another strategy that I could think of.

And as we've been kind of traveling down this path,

It just occurred to me that giving somebody a tool that has worked for me and might also work for them is kind of more of a neutral,

Less threatening approach to things that's based more on kind of a heartfelt,

How I would want to feel way of approaching the situation versus,

You know,

Me forcing it on somebody else.

So it's a gentler,

Kinder way of trying to help,

I guess,

If that makes sense.

Yeah,

No,

For sure.

Absolutely.

And having known you for the number of months I have,

To me,

It makes a lot more sense.

I know,

You know,

From your left brain,

It's kind of hard to say,

Well,

What was that process?

Because it's not a process.

It's an evolution.

It's a transition.

It's a transformation.

And I watched you as an individual transform from someone who is more self-critical,

More hard on themselves,

Very high expectations,

Very self-judgmental to becoming more confident in yourself,

A greater sense of self-worth.

And as you changed,

I believe you became more aware of what you were doing to family and that shifted.

If you sort of look at it back to the topic we're talking about,

Which is control and surrender,

You basically stopped trying to control yourself and be the person that you,

That maybe your parents or society told you you were supposed to be.

And as you stopped controlling you and you surrendered and became more acceptance of who you truly are,

I think that's when things started to shift with regard to moving from the fixer to the empowerer of your family.

Yeah,

That's very true.

That resonates with me because I was obviously judging those other people as being deficient in some category or in some skill.

And rather than just seeing them like,

You know,

Another person like myself who's looking to learn and grow and be at peace,

I was looking at them as broken.

And they're not broken.

They're on a path just the way I'm on a path.

And so very subtle,

But it's just a different,

Slightly different approach to kind of getting to the same place,

I guess.

Right?

Right.

And so I think it's really,

Really important during these difficult and turbulent times,

And Shaltazar has referred to this,

If the world is going to change,

It starts with us.

It starts with the individual.

And I think if there's,

You know,

If there's a key message in today's discussion,

It is begin that change with yourself.

Stop pointing the finger.

There's that old saying,

When you point the finger at someone,

There are three fingers pointed back at you.

So begin to work on yourself,

But not from fixing,

But from loving and from not from feeling that you're broken or that anything is wrong with you.

But just look inward at yourself as being this amazing piece of art,

Piece of work.

You were created by the source and all of us,

Our strengths,

Our weaknesses,

Our adequacies,

Our inadequacies are all part of that beautiful piece of art.

You know,

When you,

When my wife's an artist,

And when you look at a piece of art,

If you start taking it apart,

Section by section,

You can start finding faults in it.

But when you stand back and look at the whole painting,

It has a certain brilliance,

A certain joie de vivre to it.

And so I think we need to look at ourselves from the whole picture.

And as we will change,

I know you've started to see it,

And I have definitely seen it many times for myself and with the people I work with,

That as you change,

Your world changes,

And other people begin to change as well.

So I think it's really,

Really important that we start looking inward and not,

You know,

Let go this blaming and complaining,

And it's not the government and it's not COVID and it's nothing else.

It's just go within,

Take on that new philosophy of learning and growth,

And be a little kinder and gentler to yourself.

And if you're listening to this,

I would highly recommend you take a moment when this is over and give yourself a hug and tell yourself how much you love you.

Yeah,

Right,

Right.

Yeah,

Why don't we do that now?

Okay,

There you go.

I love you,

Jeffrey.

I love you,

Jeffrey.

I love you,

Jeffrey.

I love you,

Mark.

I love you,

Mark.

I love you,

Mark.

There you go.

Right.

Feels good,

Right?

It does.

It really does.

It really does.

And,

You know,

Shaltazar says that we cannot give to others what we do not have ourselves.

So if we want to make this world a more loving,

Gentler,

Kinder place,

We need to start by giving that to ourselves.

Right.

Yeah,

Our time is just about out.

I love our new format,

Mark,

Because here it is,

We started on one subject,

And we didn't feel the constraints of having to discuss a particular message of Shaltazar.

And I know whatever it is we're discussing,

We are bringing forth that wisdom.

So,

Once again,

That freedom or surrender is such a more enjoyable path than the control and the structure and trying to,

You know,

Keep the old.

So I encourage everybody to work on ways to allow yourself to be more free and to surrender more and to go with the flow.

Any final words,

Mark?

No,

I think that's good advice.

We're in changing times,

And there's a reason that we're being asked to change.

And so desperately clinging on to the old ways and the old paradigms and the old rules is just going to cause frustration.

And so it seems like we're being asked to kind of,

You know,

That old phrase or that old saying,

You know,

Let go and let God.

It's like,

You know,

Life is a dance,

Right?

And instead of trying to lead all the time,

Maybe we have to be,

You know,

Let Source lead and we just follow.

I love that.

Excellent last word.

Tap into Source,

Tap into the guidance that's available to all of us,

And let's see if we can make those changes within ourselves and make our world a better place.

Thanks again,

Mark.

We'll see you next week.

Love and light to everyone.

Thanks,

Jeffrey.