Lição 1
Quieting Our Inner Critic
Our nervous system reacts as though the inner critic is telling the Truth. It is not. It can be an internalized harsh voice of a parent or our own drive for perfection. With awareness, we notice this voice, see it clearly, and stop shaming ourselves.
Lição 2
Compassion During An Inner Critic Attack
We would never talk to our friends the way we berate ourselves inside our head. The first step is to notice that it's here - sensations of shame in our body, thoughts in our head - and come back into regulation.
Second, is to analyze the content. Is what it is saying true? What is the purpose?
This is a guided somatic inquiry to cultivate compassion and become a true friend to ourselves.
Lição 3
My Responsibility For Connection And Boundaries
I have a responsibility to take care of myself, to be kind and respectful, and to expect the same in return. Not everyone is capable of having a healthy equal relationship. It is not our job to make another adult's life work for them at the expense of our own. We may need to set appropriate boundaries with some people.
Lição 4
Call In An Inner Nurturing Committee
Our adult self needs back up to see our situation clearly and to stand up to a mean inner critic. Who can you invite to be on your side and support and encourage you? It might be someone you know personally, or a public figure like Michelle Obama or the Dalai Lama.
Lição 5
Empathetic Attuned Reparenting
Parents often were not able to be fully present with us when we were young. Children need someone who provides food and housing security and also who interested in who we are, can help us with challenges, and protect us from harm. They provide a soft landing when we need care and support. We can be an empathetic parent towards ourselves.
Lição 6
Somatic Inquiry As We Reparent Ourselves
We can take on the job of extending empathy and supporting ourselves. We can stop the inner critic attacks. We can learn to be consistently reliable and kind to ourselves. We can be the “good enough” parent we didn’t have. In this somatic inquiry, we bring this to life using all our senses including visual, sound and touch. We connect with our younger self who felt attacked and shamed and we let them know they are no longer alone.
Lição 7
Equal Relationships - Who Talks And Who Listens
It is hard work to remain grounded when we’re around people with dysregulated nervous systems. Anxiety talkers release energy through talking, especially when they are nervous. They may not be aware of the impact this has on other people. We might feel like a receptacle for their anxiety. Whether we are the one who talks too much or it is someone we know, mindfulness can help us come back into regulation and set appropriate boundaries with others.
Lição 8
Somatic Inquiry Around Dysregulated Talking
I acknowledge it is hard to be grounded and regulated in the world we live in now. Our nervous systems struggle to help us survive. I let go of shaming myself for having a tough time staying regulated. I take responsibility for building capacity in my own nervous system and take steps to do that as best I can.
Lição 9
Neurodiversity And Nervous System Regulation
Our brains naturally work in different ways, with our own unique talents and struggles. Our brains are affected by accidents, in utero or developmental trauma, mental illness, brain injury and concussion, fear and stress, inflammation in our body, systemic oppression, and many other factors. We don’t accurately assess safety in the present moment because our brain is highly influenced by the past and gives more weight to danger. Given our adult brain, agency and resources: what is in our best interest now? How can we support that?
Lição 10
Somatic Inquiry On Setting Boundaries
We need to manage our own anxiety and self-regulation so we can tolerate saying and listening to challenging information. "I find myself feeling anxious (angry, frustrated) when you monologue and go on and on about something that upsets you. I want to talk about this pattern because it happens a lot. You’re hard to interrupt." Notice you are safe in this moment: breathe deeply, relax your body, clear your mind. Keep coming back to regulating yourself as you imagine this conversation.
