Hey guys,
I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world My name is Boomshikha and I welcome you to my channel I'm so grateful that you guys are listening subscribing and commenting on my channel.
I really appreciate the support in This video I want to speak to you guys about a quote that Maya Angelou.
I think that's how you say her name I love her.
She's a poet and a writer and just a great awesome human being in general I think she died a couple years ago a few years back Anyways,
There's this quote that is attributed to her that is absolutely perfect And that's something that I want to speak to in this video and the quote is about how if you have an untold story That's in yourself you know,
It's the to the agony of an unstable story is too much to bear sometimes and The agony of an untold story that that statement itself that phrase it just really spoke to me The first time I heard this quote,
I literally I was sitting there and I had goosebumps on my body because I thought Yes,
That's exactly why I live the life I do is because of the agony of that untold story All right.
So there's a bunch of things I want to speak about about this and about my life with regards to it So I hope that this makes sense to you guys So Maya Angelou obviously is a beautiful amazing writer and she's done a lot of good things in her life But she had a terrible childhood if you guys go go and read over her childhood know what she went through But always she had this thing where she wanted to share a story.
She wanted to share her life She wanted to talk about the things that are happened to her in a story format and be able to share her Life with the world in that manner,
Right and that's exactly where I'm coming from as well Not that I'm saying that I had a terrible childhood or anything.
I had a very happy childhood I have great parents really nice siblings.
I'm lucky.
I never had to worry about food Etc.
Etc.
Right.
So I had a great childhood But I always had this desire and within me that I wanted to share not only my own story But also I wanted to share all those imaginary stories that were in my head I all I was always the kind of person and I've told you guys this before I was always the kind of person who'd be Sitting around in a circle with other kids and I would be making up stories and telling them all of these imaginary stories So we'd be sitting sitting in a circle at a party or outside We were playing and I'd sit down and a bunch of kids would surround me and they'd be like tell us a story And I'm like,
Alright cool and I was just sitting there and I would make up a random story out of nowhere and it would always be something fun and something that encourages them something with heroes and heroines and It just came to me.
I didn't I never had to think about it It just was I could I could do it as a snap with the snap of a finger I mean I used to do it as I was sitting there and a lot of times,
You know It would just happen randomly and they'd be like,
Oh this story is amazing And then they'd ask me to continue the next time around I'd be like,
Oh,
Right I guess I could or I could tell you a new story Because I always wanted to tell new stories There's always all these amazing stories in my head and my imagination just ran rampant I had so many stories that I wanted to share with the world but of course as time goes on and I was a child at that point and as Children we imagine that the world is our oyster and then we're told little by little that no It's not your oyster is actually this time small and not the world It's this little space here and that's all you're allowed to do And you're not allowed to go outside of that little realm that we're created for you Because we want you to be safe and happy and make enough money and things like that So obviously when I told my parents that I wanted to become a writer Their thing was no you have to become a doctor because you'll make more money that way you're smart You're not gonna use your brain for your brilliant brain that you've been given you can't use just to write You have to become something more important than that and so obviously I gave up on my dream of writing and I didn't write I didn't tell stories for the longest time and I remember,
You know I read this quote and I remember that feeling that I had When I first started writing again in my early 20s after I got rejected from medical school for about three times And I was like,
Alright cool.
What am I gonna do now?
All of a sudden I have the time and space to think about what are my dreams?
What do I want to do in my life?
Why am I here and with that I started writing again Because I had again as I said the time and the mental space to start thinking about it because I was like well I guess I'm not becoming a doctor So I do something else and the first thing that always came up in my mind no matter what I do with my life is Writing I want to be a writer.
I want to write I want to write that's basically it It doesn't there's nothing like I want to be a professional writer.
There's nothing like I want to be a travel writer I want to be a blogger nothing like that.
It's just about I want to write stories I want to create stories and I want to tell stories That's all I want to do is I want to use my brain my imagination to create stories and tell stories That's all I want to do.
I love doing is my favorite thing in the world to do,
Right?
And so I started writing again in my early 20s I think I would say around 20 maybe when I was 20 and so rewriting or started creating again and Writing those stories and it was as if a floodgate opened up within me my soul Which had been dead a little bit I would say for the past few years because it wasn't allowed to do what it's Supposed to be doing what it wants to do,
Which is basically write and tell stories It wasn't allowed to do that because I was too busy Studying and trying to get into med school studying and trying to get in med school.
That was my life I studied that's all I did I studied a lot and I spent all my time trying to get a pluses to get into med school I still didn't get in I wasted all those years of studying.
Oh my god I feel that's one of the reasons when people ask me,
You know,
Should I go to a university?
I'm like no figure out what you want to do with your life first Don't waste your time doing something that perhaps you're not gonna freaking use a degree So why are you wasting your time and money on it?
Why right?
Maybe that's not the best advice to give to people but if I had to repeat it,
I would not go to university I really would not guys like it's such a waste of time and money for me at least it was I Wanted to become a writer I wasted all of this time working on something working on degree that I'm not well,
I'm partially using it I guess the marketing degree,
But really I learned a lot of the stuff on my own YouTube seriously is is the University of life right now you just go to YouTube and you can learn anything you want and So I started writing again As I said,
I started sharing stories and my soul which was dead a little bit started coming alive again I was all of a sudden it was like wow,
I feel alive.
I don't feel depressed anymore I don't need to use consumerism in order to dull my senses anymore I don't need to use alcohol or drugs to do that anymore either.
I don't need to go party anymore I just wanted to sit and write all day long and My parents would occasionally find me sitting on the porch outside If it was summer with my notebook and a pen and a little bit of a flashlight or a little bit of a light I'll be sitting there just writing in the middle of the night.
Like what are you doing?
It's something wrong with you They attributed it all to depression.
She must be depressed because she didn't get into med school and I was like,
Um No all of a sudden I really feel alive But of course as time and on my parents were like no you can't become a writer Are you gonna ever make money from it?
And I started doubting myself as well.
I'm like,
Yeah,
That's true Will I ever make money from it?
I don't know and so I decided all right I should follow what society is telling me again.
And so I went and got my MBA.
I worked work to work again I didn't have enough time.
I didn't have any time to write I didn't have any time to do any storytelling and again My soul started dying a little bit again,
And I started going into that phase again where I felt Depressive.
I felt like I was I just didn't want to do it anymore.
I didn't want to live.
I didn't care What's the point and that's exactly what happens when you're when you're not listening to that untold story within you,
Right?
The agony of the untold story,
I think Maya Angelou maybe meant it with regards to writing Although she's such a prolific writer and some brilliant writer that you probably meant it in the way that I took it to mean Which is if you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing if your soul wants to do something your spirit So whatever you want to call it your essence Wants to do something with its life and whatever it might be for you might be writing it might be music It might be dancing.
It might be art.
It might be I Don't know anime it might be Writing manga or it might be making quilts,
You know,
Who knows what your thing is Whatever that thing is within you that your soul or spirit wants to do if you're not doing it Then you're going to live in agony.
It's going to be a Terrible life where you're going to feel like something within you wants to come out and play Your soul and spirit or whatever it is It wants to come out and play it wants to do its thing when I'm writing I'm playing with myself with the universe playing with myself I'm playing with the universe and I'm playing with my spirit my soul,
Right?
It's having fun all of a sudden It's doing what it's meant to do on this planet.
And so it is enjoy it in It's just an absolute ecstasy.
There is no comparison to it,
Right?
You're in a state of flow and you're allowing your soul a spirit to do what it wants to do Most of us don't most of us just pummel it down like no stop that what's wrong with you?
Just do what society wants you to do.
Just follow the rules.
Don't be such an idiot,
Right?
Obviously and let me die a little bit on the inside and then we die eventually early death by heart attack or something because I can let me get cancer because like Oh your soul you're not giving your soul or spirit the opportunity to live the way it wants to live.
So what's point?
Right.
Why not?
Just kill yourself Okay,
Maybe that's a little bit too harsh I literally think that all disease in our body is a result of that pummeling of our soul our soul or spirit wants to do Something and we're like no,
I mean,
I'm just gonna follow society's rules and so little by little all of this cancer What's happened in our body or all of this terminal illnesses kind of manifest or other immune diseases are manifest in our body because it's telling us Take a look at what you're doing with yourself.
It's like a wake-up call It's trying to warn us that we're doing something stupid Stop doing that start listening to your soul and spirit start living the life.
You're meant to be living Otherwise you're going to die an early death because why bother if you're not living the life you're supposed to be living anyways,
Right?
As you guys can tell I get really really excited about this topic.
That's okay.
I can calm down Just calm down check up.
Anyways,
And so as I said,
I started writing again and All of a sudden myself started feeling good about myself again So I obviously did my MBA I used it a little bit still felt like oh my god I wasn't living my right life and eventually thankfully,
I was able to quit my job and I moved to Chiang Mai because it's cheaper and I wanted to be able to focus Entirely on my writing and this is what I do right now here.
That's one of the main reasons.
I'm here guys It's not because I I do love the heat.
I love I don't like the cold.
I don't like winters in Toronto There I don't like the hibernation.
I don't like a lot of things about the way I lived in Toronto the consumerism The peer pressure etc.
But the main reason why I moved to Chiang Mai is so that I can reduce my expenses immensely So I need to make less money which means that I can spend more of my time Focusing on my writing I want to spend as much time as much of my day as much of my life as many moments as possible I want to spend creating and writing stories.
That's all I really want to do I mean and part of it is doing these videos.
I love doing these videos.
They make me so joyous They give my soul and spirit just like this bounce.
I walk around with like a bounce in myself.
I'm like dancing I'm like moving and I'm doing all this stuff because I feel good about myself It was a terrible dance moves by the way terrible,
But that's okay.
I'm normally a good dancer I promise you guys that oh anyways,
I do love to dance though it That's another way my soul and spirit plays is through dancing.
I love to dance I can dance with three or four days straight and I've done that in the past at music festivals I go and I dance and I dance I forget about everything I just dance and dance and dance and my feet are dying and my knees are dying and my hips are dying And my body's just killing itself and it's like oh my god.
I need food,
But no,
I just want to dance So that's another way my soul and spirit plays And so as I as time went on I discovered more and more things that Were necessary for my soul and spirit to feel alive to not die a slow death and to have no agony The agony of that untold story and little by little I start figuring I want to do this I want to that I added to that list YouTube videos writing dancing singing is a big one right now I love singing.
I've been singing every single day.
I take singing lessons voice lessons So yoga is a big part of it as well I mean,
There's a bunch of things I discovered that my soul needs in order to feel alive and as Taking,
You know taking a page out of my Angelou's book.
I was like,
Alright cool I'm going to focus as much as possible on these Agonies so whenever I feel like my soul spirit is not living that life that it wants to lead I always ask myself am I doing all those things that my solar spirit wants to do am I writing am I creating videos or creating in general my dancing Am I singing my eating lots of delicious foods?
Am I spending time with friends and family that matter to me,
You know things like that Those are the things that really matter and as much as possible I've created a lifestyle in order to make our manifest this life where I can Allow my soul my spirit to live the way she wants to live or it wants to live whatever you want to call it Okay,
And so I really wanted to do this video because I wanted to share with you guys that it is so important It's so important that you live that life that untold life of yours that that life that you that your soul wants to live It's so important that your body will start doing all these random crazy things in order to remind you of the fact that you need To live that life.
I absolutely believe all of these random illnesses that come up in our body all those back pains Dandruff even I think Steven Pressfield said even Dan Dandruff is the cause of all of this angst that we have in our body Our body starts doing all these random things trying to remind us that we're not living the life that we're live that we're meant to live that we have untold story within us and that agony will stay with us until we stop lying to ourselves and we start Listening to our soul and really listening and and understanding What am I here to do and let me do that as much as possible even if it means you get up early at 5 a.
M And you write a little bit then even if it means that you still keep a nine-to-five job But you come back home and you do what you're supposed to do or what you want to do at that point in time It doesn't necessarily mean that you quit your job move to Chiang Mai and start doing what I do Not telling you guys that but it's important to start doing it little by little it's extremely important It's important for your health not only physical health,
But your soul health.
It needs it Otherwise it starts dying and you will feel it you will feel it when your soul is dying you will absolutely feel it because you'll start doing all these stupid things like drinking a lot or having a lot of sex or Buying a lot of shit or eating a lot of shitty foods because you're trying to quell that voice you're trying to Pretend like you can't hear the fact that you're not living your true life.
All right.
I hope this makes sense I I love this topic I love this topic so much and so you guys can tell that I'm getting really excited about it Because of any specific ideas or topics that you want me to speak on with relation to this one or to other topics that I've done Please let me know if you want me to expound on something that I mentioned that you liked Obviously,
Let me know as well.
All my contact information is in the description below and I shall see you guys in the next video Bye for now
