External Motivation Fades Quickly - Stick To Motivating Yourself Intrinsically

External motivation fades quite quickly. It's easy to use it to motivate ourselves, because it's much easier. But when we use instrinsic motivation, we will notice that it lasts longer and doesn't break easily.

Transcript

Hey everyone!

I hope that you guys are doing amazing where we are in the world.

My name is Boomshika and I welcome you to my channel.

As always I'm so grateful that you're listening,

Subscribing and commenting.

I really appreciate the support and if you're interested in supporting me further you can do that by going to my Patreon or Ko-fi link there in the description below.

In this one I wanted to speak to you about putting yourself out there.

I want to start off with a story.

So recently a girlfriend of mine and I were talking about how we met three four years ago.

Three years ago or something.

And you know she was telling me that when I first moved to Chiang Mai I was all alone.

I didn't know anyone there.

I moved on a whim and I was by myself.

For the first time in my life I was surrounded by no family,

No friends,

No one.

And so I decided to just put myself out there.

You know I was like alright there are Facebook groups for Chiang Mai Nomad Girls and Chiang Mai Nomad Group and there are all these like Facebook groups for Chiang Mai foreigners.

And so I decided to start being a little bit active on these groups.

To start making friends,

To start meeting people,

Especially women,

Strong independent women so I could learn from them and you know learn to become more of a stronger presence myself.

And so I post almost every week you know telling things or almost sometimes every day posting things about you know things that I'm doing.

So I'll be like oh I'm at a coffee shop right now if anyone wants to join me for a quick coffee or oh I'm gonna go to a voice lesson tomorrow if anyone wants to join me you know you're more than welcome to come or I'm going to the park tomorrow if anyone wants to join me they're more than welcome to join me etc etc.

You know I'd always be posting things like that.

And my friend who I met later on she would see these posts.

We didn't know each other yet but she would see these posts of mine because I have an unusual name Bhumshaka and she would see these posts by Bhumshaka and very many posts by her like I would post quite often.

And she noticed that I'd post no matter if people replied to my post or not.

So I'd post something and I got zero replies like crickets she would say.

And I still posted again the next day saying oh did you guys want to do this?

As if the previous day had not happened at all.

As if no one had rejected me.

They didn't reject me technically.

As if no one had no everyone had replied to me yesterday you know.

She was like how are you so brave?

How did you keep on going?

How did you keep on posting things even though no one replied to your post?

Why did you not feel sad or embarrassed to keep on posting over in Oregon?

The difference between me and her and the reason that what I explained to her was that for me when no one replied to my post I was like oh I guess everyone is busy.

I took it as an external focus of control.

I wasn't thinking oh it's because everyone hates me.

Oh it's because everyone doesn't like me.

Oh it's because I'm not popular.

Oh because no one wants to hang out with me.

I didn't take it as a negative thing.

I never took it as a sign that you know I need to stop doing this because everyone dislikes me and obviously I'm being a pain or I'm being a burden or I'm a crazy fool and no one wants to hang out with me so why am I doing this?

I never took it like that.

I was just I just imagined that just like I'm busy sometimes and I don't reply to messages or posts on the Facebook group and many posts go unreplied.

I thought that was exactly the same case here.

No one's replying because they're busy.

They have other things to do.

They're not interested in my post.

If they were interested they would reply to me.

If they're not I don't want someone who's not interested replying to me and so I took it as a very positive thing.

As a neutral thing.

I didn't think anything of it.

It was just I posted.

I put myself out there and it's gone.

It's done and over with.

New day,

New beginning.

Again let's do another post and let's try again.

Didn't work.

Alright cool awesome.

Tomorrow let's do it again.

I think that's the kind of attitude I have with everything that I do in my life.

Not always.

I am I think right now I have this attitude and that's what I'm talking about at this moment in time and for the last few or four years I've had this attitude where I'll just constantly put myself out there.

It is it is my thing.

I do it.

I do it naturally.

I just put myself out there.

I'll create things.

Put it out there.

Forget about it.

I'll write a create a video.

Put it out there.

Forget about it.

If it if it flops cool.

It doesn't matter because it's already done.

I'm on to the next thing.

If it does really well awesome.

It doesn't matter either because amazing good it did well but I'm already on to the next thing.

I'm already on to the next video.

I'm already on to the next subject.

On to the next project.

On to the next creative thing.

I don't have time to think worry or mull over all the previous things I've done because they're out there doing their thing.

They are out there.

I've given them their space and now it's their turn to shine.

And so that's how I think about most things that I'm doing.

I'll try it.

If it doesn't work cool.

Let's try fail fast and then move on to the next thing.

Some things will succeed.

Some things will fail and you were able to move on to the next thing right away.

And so you're not stuck in the past.

You're not stuck in something that you did three years ago.

Whereas for my friend unfortunately what she does is that if she posts once and no one replies to her that's it.

That's the end of that.

She's never gonna post again because of course no one loves her.

No one cares about her.

No one wants to reply to her.

She's not popular enough or whatever that reason is in her head or whatever wrong story that she's creating in her head.

It's holding her back from just putting herself out there normally and casually.

Of course thankfully what happened was that she noticed me doing it.

She noticed me putting out my putting myself out there constantly on a consistent basis without caring what was going on.

And she started doing that as well.

She's like well if you can do it I can do it as well.

And I was like good.

Very good.

Good for you.

Keep on going kind of thing.

And now she posts more often than she did before and sometimes yeah she gets crickets too.

Sometimes there's no one replying to your messages.

That's normal.

People are busy.

People don't see your message.

People are not interested.

It's not their thing.

It's not their shindig.

Move on to the next thing.

And so she doesn't hold it against herself.

She doesn't take it as a negative reproach to herself.

It's not anything to do with her.

It's just a circumstance.

People are not interested perhaps.

They're busy.

They didn't see the post.

You know like 99% of the posts Facebook has don't actually get seen by everyone.

Like they they have this weird algorithm.

But if you interact with the post once then you'll see it over and over again from that person.

So there's all these random things going on in the background that you're not even aware of but instead of being like alright it's something else.

Nothing to do with me.

Most people what they do is that take it as an affront to themselves.

Oh it's me.

It's my fault.

I'm the problem here.

And then they start berating themselves,

Hating themselves,

Not doing anything,

Not putting themselves out there,

Protecting themselves and then hiding in a corner and pretending like the world is against them.

This is one of the things I dislike the most and you guys know this about me.

I don't like the victim mentality because I know I played it for the longest time as well and I hate I hate the fact that I did that.

I also don't like the mentality where they feel like you know everyone's against them.

Basically a victim mentality but also like just like if everyone's against me and no one cares about me I'm not gonna put myself out there.

Why should I waste my energy?

We're not doing it for someone else.

I am NOT doing these videos for someone else.

I'm doing it for me.

There is this thing inside of me,

This instinct,

This desire that I need to share these videos.

I share them every single day.

I wouldn't be motivated because if I was motivated by something external,

Most of my videos don't get watched or they do get watched I think they get watched maybe by four or five hundred people.

If I was really externally motivated I'd be like well that's not enough.

I'm not gonna do them anymore.

It's not about external motivation for me.

It's about internal.

I'm doing it for myself.

I want to do it.

I think it's fun.

I love it.

I want to keep on going for the rest of my life.

If I was externally motivated,

If something happens from the external like someone said I'm a crappy video editor or I'm terrible,

I speak too much,

I speak too fast,

I speak too little,

I repeat myself too much.

I've had all of these things said to me.

If I was motivated by external things then I would stop because I'd be like well if I'm not good at it and everyone hates me which is obvious from all the trolls and all the messages then why should I do this anymore?

I would move on to something else but it's not about that and I really want you guys to really pull all of your motivations back to within yourself.

Why are you creating this comic?

For yourself.

I'm doing it for myself.

Why are you learning how to sing?

It's for myself.

I want to learn how to sing.

If you start sharing with other people and they like it awesome that's great but you're still doing it for yourself.

Why are you taking care of yourself?

Not doing it for someone else you're doing it for yourself.

Why are you wearing this beautiful dress?

You're doing it for yourself right?

It's great other people get to look at you and look at your beauty and be enamored by you and seduced by you.

Awesome!

But again it has to start from internal motivation first.

External motivation can come later.

It's fine.

It's okay.

A lot of times I do post videos even if I'm grumpy because I know that you guys are listening and I care about you guys but in most cases like 99% of the time it's because I want to do them.

I love doing these videos.

It makes me happy and that's the real key to this.

That's a real reason I think I've stuck with it is because if it was something related to you or to my audience or to the viewers there are many times where I'm like well maybe this is not worth it.

Maybe I should just stop you know.

I really want you guys to think about this every single time you're putting yourself out there and you think oh well no one's listening no one cares no one wants to talk to me no one wants to do this or blah blah blah stop it stop doing that to yourself do it for yourself why are you doing this for yourself you're putting yourself out there for yourself you're creating for yourself you're eating food for yourself you're taking care of yourself for yourself all of this is for you you're doing it so you can grow expand blossom as an individual the rest of it that if it comes you know the accolades the fame the money or whatever it might be if it does come it doesn't come if it does then great comes if it doesn't come great you're still doing it for yourself yeah one of the things I love about a lot of the authors that are out there like Stephen King and Neil Diamond and all those people who love writing who genuinely love the art of writing the reason they write is because they love it they would write even if they didn't make any money off of it they would write even if they were on their deathbed they would write even if they had a hundred degree fever or a thousand degree fever you know even if they were dying and ill in bed they would still write that's what they do it's about them they're doing it for themselves yes they've gotten fame and accolades and money lots of money but they would still do it besides even if they didn't have all those things right they would still keep on writing they'll still keep on going they'll still keep on creating because it's their desire it's inside of them it's this thing that drives them from the inside out and I want you guys to become like that too because then everything even if nothing happens you're still doing it for yourself and doesn't matter as long as you're happy and content you'll keep on going and then you're gonna get successful in the future perhaps or you might not but at least you're happy at least you're doing what you want to do with your life your little bit of life that you have here on this planet at least you're doing what you wanted to do with it rather than relying on some external motivation that fades out very quickly it fades out quicker than you can actually realize I hope this makes sense I think I think it is an important with you and it's important topic to speak about if it does make sense obviously comment below and let me know if it doesn't comment below as well and I shall do a follow-up video again thank you so much for your support and I shall see you the next time around bye for now

Reviews

How I found you I do not know but I am so glad I did I don't make videos I but what you have spoken about has hit to my core I thank you from my heart and I will be playing this on a regular basis sending you much love and blessings

Thank you for this talk, just what I needed to hear today.

Thank you so much for sharing this!!! It was a great reminder

You are so right! I loved this reminder, I am starting my own brand and as you can imagine there are tons of upside downs that latetly just feel like downs including a fraud, but it is about me, doing what I do because it makes me happy, it is not about the bad people, the challenges nor about others opinions. Thank you

Brilliant just what I need to hear at the moment - do things for yourself without needing praise or accolades makes so much sense thank you 🙏

Loved this! And really needed to hear what you had to say. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏻

Boom, I’m glad you have this internal motivation but still I’d like to say that I do like your talk!! 😂 Your point resonates with me. Thank you for putting it out there.

Great reminder! Thanks for your words!

Wonderful way of living. Great Explanationsl and I relate to it all and will work towards always remembering this. Xo

Very insightful

Thank you, Boom! I love your perspective (and your name)!

Made me think of the times I had crickets and I would get, eh sad, about it but you made complete sense. Right now I am trying to lose weight but sometimes it feels like it’s happening too slow or not at all and I want to give up. I need to not worry about how I look so much as how much I feel better.

Made total sense to me! I truly appreciated that reminder that what I do is for myself and no one else Because it is what makes me happy, the things that drive me and inspire ME! If others benefit great, if they don’t, so be it.

I th think your talk is more about abundance and not being afraid of what you dont know. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Thank you for the talk! This is insightful as some days I need this constant reminder of finding the motivation within myself. Have a good day!

fantastic insight😁

Just what I needed to hear today, and do everyday!🙏

Great audio clip ❤️ o would totally agree; anything powered by only external motivation can definitely be some of the challenging tasks.
Love how the perspective shift changes the mindset

Thanks for that! 😃

Just what I needed to hear today, thank you for sharing 🙏💜