Is There A Wrong Way To Meditate?

Many people ask me, "Is there a right way to meditate? I feel like I am doing it all wrong." And I used to wonder to myself if that was true - that there is a right and wrong way to meditate. But now I think we are just bringing our human tendencies towards perfectionism into meditation as well.

Transcript

Hello everyone,

I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

And I'm so grateful that you guys are listening,

Subscribing,

Commenting,

Appreciating my content.

In this one I want to speak to you guys about whether there is a wrong way to meditate.

I am a big enthusiastic enthusiast about meditation and I do share my meditation routine and my enthusiasm for meditation with everyone that I meet.

And I've spoken about this in the past and I believe it's important to do that because I want more and more people to take on the practice of meditation,

To bring it upon into their life and to garner the benefits of it.

But one of the main questions or complaints or platitudes that I get when I do share my enthusiasm for meditation is that they believe that they don't know how to meditate properly.

Or that they're doing it but they're not doing it right.

Or they're doing it but they don't know if they're getting the benefits out of it the way it's meant to be because they don't seem any different.

And so there's a lot of different things in these complaints or in these platitudes.

But the one that I'm going to focus on is whether there is a wrong way to meditate.

It's fascinating to me because I think as human beings we bring this perfectionist streak into everything that we do.

We believe that if we do something it has to be done perfectly or what's the point?

And we bring that into everything that we do so when we're working out if we don't do it perfectly then we're not going to do it at all.

If we're going to take care of the environment,

If we're not going to do it perfectly we're not going to do it at all.

Or if we're going to be nice or generous to the people around us,

If we want to do it perfectly or we're not going to do it at all.

And so I think the main gist of all of this is that we're not going to be perfect in any shape or form anyways.

We know that already.

We should know that at least.

It's impossible to be perfect as a human being.

That's the main tenet of being human is to be imperfect.

But the point of it is that just like we do everything else on this planet,

Just like we do things imperfectly and we still keep on going.

We don't have a perfect life but we still get up every morning and we do all the things that are necessary.

We are not a perfect parent or a perfect sister but we still get up every morning and try to do our best.

We're not a perfect worker but again we get up every morning and we try to do our level best.

And I think the same idea or attitude has to come into meditation.

First of all,

The main gist of meditation is to bring your mind back to your point of contact or your point of focus over and over again.

So most meditation practices run pretty much the same way.

Whatever you're focusing on,

Whether it's in loving kindness meditation,

You're focusing on your heart and on love or generosity of spirit.

Or whether it is in a mindfulness practice where you're focusing on your breath over and over again bringing your attention back to it.

Or if it's in a mantra meditation where you're focusing on a mantra or an idea or a sound and you're bringing your attention back to it over and over again.

Meditation basically has the same idea.

Whatever you're focusing on,

Whether it's a candle light or if it's the hands of a clock ticking away,

What you're trying to do is you're trying to bring your attention or focus back over and over again to it.

Because as you know,

Our mind wanders.

We're focused on something and we focus on it for a few seconds if we're lucky and then we start thinking about everything on this planet that we have to think about.

We start thinking about our to-do list.

We start thinking about how that person was rude to us today.

Or we start thinking about how the environment is not doing so well.

Or we start thinking about how our children are not respectful towards us.

There's a hundred thousand things that our mind can go towards and it does.

And the tenet of meditation is to notice that distraction,

To notice the mind wandering and then to gently,

Calmly,

Patiently,

Kindly,

Tenderly bring it back to your point of focus.

And you might have to do that a hundred thousand times in a 10 minute practice.

And that's OK.

That's the whole point of it.

Because that constant pulling your mind wandering back to the point of focus is the point of meditation.

Now,

It's so ironic that what the basic tenet of meditation is to notice your imperfection.

Notice that you're being imperfect at your point of focus or focusing on your point and then bringing it back.

And that's all.

That's all really there is to it.

You're not really going to do it perfectly in any shape or form unless you've been meditating for generations,

For decades,

For if you have thousands and thousands of hours of practice under your belt.

Like a lot of Tibetan Buddhist monks do or things like that.

Unless you are in that mode,

You're probably going to get distracted.

I've been meditating now for about 12 years intermittently.

And I would say I would have about around 2000 hours of meditation under my belt.

So not a lot compared to a lot of Buddhist monks out there.

But I do notice that even now,

After so many hours,

I'm still imperfect at it.

I will sit there and I will be focused for a few hours.

A few hours.

I wish.

I will be focused for a few seconds,

Perhaps.

Perhaps even a minute at a time sometimes if it's a good day.

And then my mind gets distracted.

And usually it's obviously the ego saying,

Oh,

You're really good at this.

Let's think about all the other things you're really good at or other things that come up.

And then I notice that my mind is wandering.

Hopefully instantaneously,

Usually after a few seconds,

Perhaps even a few minutes of distracted mode.

I notice that I'm distracted and I bring my mind back.

And so if I have been doing this for a little bit of time and I can still get distracted.

And I'm sure unless you are really practiced yogi or a monk,

I'm sure even then you would get distracted.

So if even at that point in time and after you've been doing it for so long,

Even then,

If you're imperfect at meditation,

Imperfect in quotes,

Then I believe that the idea is that you just need to do it.

That's the whole point of I think everything in life.

You're not a perfect creative person,

But you just do it.

You're not really great at drawing or art,

But you just do it.

You're not really good at writing out stories,

But you do it.

You're not perfect at being a parent or a sister or a brother or a child,

But you do it.

You do the best you can.

And in the same regard,

There is no perfect way to meditate.

There is no imperfect way to meditate either.

As long as you're sitting down as often as you can in a moment of stillness and being able to bring your attention back over and over again to your point of focus,

Even if it's just for a minute,

Even if it's just for five minutes,

As long as you're doing it consistently over a long period of time,

Over hopefully decades,

That is the basic essence of it.

That is it distilled.

You don't need to worry about anything else.

You don't need to worry about sitting in a proper posture.

It's better if your back is straight,

But do the best you can with that.

You don't have to worry about the spot where you're doing it.

You don't have to use a particular cushion or a particular chime.

You can just sit wherever you want and do the best you can with your meditation setting.

You don't have to worry about following a certain teacher or a certain guru.

If you want to,

You can.

You don't have to have a master.

You just do the best you can.

You just do what you can in the moment in time and you just come back to it over and over again.

So you get distracted.

You realize you're getting distracted.

And then you bring yourself back.

And then you repeat that over and over again,

Over hours and hours and hours,

Thousands of hours,

Hopefully eventually.

And eventually you realize that that's the whole point of it.

And you don't worry about doing it perfectly.

Now I'm not saying this from a point where I don't worry about it at all.

I have moments where I'm sitting down for my morning meditation and I think to myself,

Is this useful?

Am I actually doing something useful or am I wasting my time?

And I know I'm not because I've noticed the difference within my heart,

Within my spirit,

Within my soul,

And within my characteristics,

My personality.

I've noticed a difference in the way I live in the world.

So I know it's making a difference.

But the point is to come back to it imperfectly as much as you can.

Again and again,

Remind yourself there is no perfect way to meditate.

Just like there's no perfect way to live your life.

Everyone has their own way of doing it.

And every path is perfect in its own way and also imperfect in its own way.

So just do the best you can.

Get up every morning or go to bed every night and then lie down for a few seconds and bring your mind back to your point of focus or sit down in the morning and bring your mind back to the point of focus and do it over and over again.

And that's all we can really do with this meditation path that we're on.

I hope this makes sense.

I hope I was able to explain myself to you.

I really think it's an important thing to remind ourselves that there really is no perfect path and all we can really do is our best.

If you guys have any questions or any comments,

Please do comment below and I shall see you guys in the next one.

Bye for now.